Chris' thought process

[Hyperion]

I've always assumed that "Crash Test Dummy" would be the only job CWC could hold down.

 

[Marvin]

Let's say the tugboat gets torpedoed and Barb throws a hissy fit cause she can't go to goodwill no more, so, Chris has to set out on his epic job quest. After 6 months of muddling around, some small place picks him up to fill a "special" quouta. Knowing he can't be around customers or any hazardous situation whatsoever, they stick him in the back assembling boxes with 16 year old Melissa, the boss' daughter doing her first summer job. How many minutes until he gets fired for groping her? Or with Ted, who has the distinct problem of being a man, how many minutes until he gets fired for tard raging? While Chris is physically capable of work, unless he is totally isolated from both genders he would never be able to keep a job.

Maybe it'd take a bit before he found and kept down a job, but Chris would not lose jobs regularly. He would fix his behavior.

 

[Jaimas]

Maybe it'd take a bit before he found and kept down a job, but Chris would not lose jobs regularly. He would fix his behavior.

Marvin's right, for all of our jesting. Nothing motivates like fear.

 

[Mogambo]

This is very much not true. Chris has a pulse, he can get a menial job.

Maybe, but there are a lot more people who are more employable than Chris. Even barring his reluctance to work, there's also the issue of his decade or so of unemployment (and corresponding lack of work experience). Given the choice, for a menial job most employers are going to pick someone young and relatively healthy over an overweight 30-something exceptional individual. And all this before we get into his poor hygiene and appearance, terrible social skills, and of course the possibility of them looking online. It's not just his behaviour that would prevent people from hiring him; I doubt many employers want to hire someone who will attract weens to their place of business either.

Now, I'm not saying Chris is entirely unemployable, but he would have to make changes, and we all know how resistant Chris is to change. He'd also have to take time looking around, sending out resumes and going to interviews. It's highly unlikely that he'd get his dream job, or that he'd get a job at the first place he applies. Most people don't. But unlike Chris, most people are able to cope with it. As Chris currently is now, I don't see him handling that so well. Again, I could be wrong, but Chris... is Chris, and he's always found a way to fuck up in the past. Drawing Sonichu on your resume and showing up in drag would be a good start.

 

[Dr. Tremolo]

Chris may be technically capable of manual labor, but it doesn'y mean he'll ever even consider ti.
He's far too lazy and entitled. He completely takes advantage of his tugboat. It's irreversible, I bet when he winds up on the street without Barb he'll shit himself and do nothing.
When he doesn't even work on his identity-defining magnum opus that is Sonichu anymore, you can't expect him to work on his basic needs either.

 

[timtommy]

Chris may be technically capable of manual labor, but it doesn'y mean he'll ever even consider ti.
He's far too lazy and entitled. He completely takes advantage of his tugboat. It's irreversible, I bet when he winds up on the street without Barb he'll shit himself and do nothing.
When he doesn't even work on his identity-defining magnum opus that is Sonichu anymore, you can't expect him to work on his basic needs either.

The key is he needs to become convinced that having a job is necessary. As you say, if he is content with the tugboat, he won't look that hard for a job and if he stumbles into one, he won't put up with much and is likely to lose it. But if he ever becomes convinced that "having a job" is a necessary state of being, he will figure it out and adapt.

Just look at his schooling. He changed majors, feuded with administration, got suspended for a year, but he kept going until he got his diploma. Chris is capable of displaying a quality that could charitably be described as perseverance, but is probably better described as stubbornness or single-mindedness. If he gets pointed and pushed in a certain direction, he will just keep stumbling along in that direction indefinitely. The only issue is getting him going, which doesn't look to be easy.

Maybe some people who have had more hands on experience with Chris have a better idea what would motivate him to a get a job. It seems his mother does not help at all, but I am not sure to what degree she actively holds him back. Personally, I don't think it has as much to do with money as it does with most people. Chris doesn't have a good enough sense of the value of money to properly comprehend the difference a job would make to his life.

 

[Sovandie]

The mention of the huge gap in his resume has swayed my opinion of his employability, actually. He's had no exposure to current work standards or legislation, probably never got his paws on a cash register at all let alone a more modern one, and has no idea where or what the current market is. The amount of training he'd need, even disability aside, would be phenomenal.

 

[Pally]

The mention of the huge gap in his resume has swayed my opinion of his employability, actually. He's had no exposure to current work standards or legislation, probably never got his paws on a cash register at all let alone a more modern one, and has no idea where or what the current market is. The amount of training he'd need, even disability aside, would be phenomenal.

Working a cash register is something a 10 years old can do....t.hough yeah, Chris is Chris, so he may have troubles with it.

 

[Marvin]

The mention of the huge gap in his resume has swayed my opinion of his employability, actually. He's had no exposure to current work standards or legislation, probably never got his paws on a cash register at all let alone a more modern one, and has no idea where or what the current market is. The amount of training he'd need, even disability aside, would be phenomenal.

"Stand here. Press down the meat on the grill. When someone asks for a patty, hand them one. Replace the patty on the grill. Repeat."

 

[Clown Doll]

The amount of training he'd need, even disability aside, would be phenomenal.

Chris could probably start out via telemarketing as a part-time employee. That kind of work is irritating as hell but telemarketing companies usually hire people essentially on the spot and the training can be done in an hour or so. Depending on where he would work at, he could probably do half day as long as he makes some sales by following the script like a drone and at the end of the month he could have some little extra spending cash and much needed resume padding. Assuming he would make that far, of course, because telemarketing companies can be worse scammers than Cutco and have a tendency to boot people out really fast if they think the employee is bad and isn't developing. Despite Chris not being much of a 'people person', he could probably hack it at telemarketing if he just stuck to the script and didn't explode at customers when they'd eventually give him a hard time.

Hacking it at a job completely reliant on human interaction aside, Chris can barely speak intelligible English. I think this might go badly.

He has his speech impediment and god forbid, trying to make sense of his videos without the transcripts is a pain in the ass, but I still think he speaks much better than he writes, however much that counts toward anything.

 

[Anustart]

Chris could probably start out via telemarketing as a part-time employee. That kind of work is irritating as hell but telemarketing companies usually hire people essentially on the spot and the training can be done in an hour or so. Depending on where he would work at, he could probably do half day as long as he makes some sales by following the script like a drone and at the end of the month he could have some little extra spending cash and much needed resume padding. Assuming he would make that far, of course, because telemarketing companies can be worse scammers than Cutco and have a tendency to boot people out really fast if they think the employee is bad and isn't developing. Despite Chris not being much of a 'people person', he could probably hack it at telemarketing if he just stuck to the script and didn't explode at customers when they'd eventually give him a hard time.

Hacking it at a job completely reliant on human interaction aside, Chris can barely speak intelligible English. I think this might go badly.

 

[Pally]

Yeah, Wallmart greeter with saying "hello, have a nice day" is much more like Chris.

 

[Lelbron]

Would you hire a 32 year-old, autistic, cross-dresser with almost no prior work experience? The only way for Chris to even be a consideration is if he was the only applicant, or say, every other applicant was a convicted criminal.

Edit: Now that I think about it, considering Chris' own criminal history, that might not even do it for him.

 

[BillRiley]

"Stand here. Press down the meat on the grill. When someone asks for a patty, hand them one. Replace the patty on the grill. Repeat."

Minimum Wage Slave: "Chris, put two more patties on the grill. I'm going out back for a smoke."

Chrisshun: "Nyeah. Oh-okay."

{MWS leaves, Chrisschun slaps two more patties on the grill.}

Chrisshun: "Mmmm...Patty...y-you're a good dog...nyeah..."

{5 minutes pass...Chris stimming in front of grill...smell of burning meat}

Chrisshun: "Patty...come back...nyeah...we'll be togedder forever..."

{flames begin to leap up from charred burger grease}

Chrisshun: "...good dog, Patty...mmmm..."

 

[Pally]

Would you hire a 32 year-old, autistic, cross-dresser with almost no prior work experience? The only way for Chris to even be a consideration is if he was the only applicant, or say, every other applicant was a convicted criminal.

Edit: Now that I think about it, considering Chris' own criminal history, that might not even do it for him.

I mean that's okey for eastern europe, but in the usa wouldnt it be unlawful to discrimate him because he is a crossdresser?

 

[CatParty]

Would you hire a 32 year-old, autistic, cross-dresser with almost no prior work experience? The only way for Chris to even be a consideration is if he was the only applicant, or say, every other applicant was a convicted criminal.

Edit: Now that I think about it, considering Chris' own criminal history, that might not even do it for him.

he also smells really bad

 

[timtommy]

Would you hire a 32 year-old, autistic, cross-dresser with almost no prior work experience? The only way for Chris to even be a consideration is if he was the only applicant, or say, every other applicant was a convicted criminal.

Edit: Now that I think about it, considering Chris' own criminal history, that might not even do it for him.

Chris is an epsilon-minus semi-moron. Who else is going to operate the elevators?

 

[Clown Doll]

I mean that's okey for eastern europe, but in the usa wouldnt it be unlawful to discrimate him because he is a crossdresser?

The potential employer wouldn't have to tell Chris about it and they'd have a lot of visible signs in their favor why they would select a more skilled applicant, or one with more experience. The state of Virginia apparently bans discrimination based on both sexual identity and gender identification(it isn't a federal thing so some states might allow discrimination based on these terms) so even with Chris' Tomgirl nonsense, they wouldn't probably be able to say to Chris that they won't hire him based on that. However, more importantly federal law states that you can't be discriminated against based on your disabilities, physical or mental, so while it's not perfectly clear for me if Autism is covered with that, it would seem like the obvious crutch Chris would latch onto, if he decided to blame a potential employee of discrimination(not saying Chris would immediately blame that, even he would be smart enough to know that everybody isn't out there to discriminate him).

Of course, none of them would be stupid enough to outright say that, Chris would only have a leverage over them in an discrimination suit if he either was clearly the more skilled candidate or had a lot of money to hire a competent lawyer and keep supporting the lolsuit costs for however much the lawsuit would drag out.

 

[Wall of Originals]

Of course, none of them would be stupid enough to outright say that, Chris would only have a leverage over them in an discrimination suit if he either was clearly the more skilled candidate or had a lot of money to hire a competent lawyer and keep supporting the lolsuit costs for however much the lawsuit would drag out.

OMG you got me imagining Barb harassing lawyers and businesses bout not hiring her handsome

 

[LordCustos3]

He doesn't have a thought "process"

"Thoughts" -- and I use the term loosely -- just happen for him.