Chris's Current Match.com Profile

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Thetan

Thetan

Highly Caffeinated
Christorical Figure
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 26, 2013
According to the site, this profile was active as of 3 weeks ago.

In his own words
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His interests
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More about him
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Profile Pic #1
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Profile Pic #2
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Profile Pic #3
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Profile Pic #4 (You knew he HAD to squeeze fucking Sonichu in there somewhere....)
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brooklynbailiff said:
The "About" section aside, this is real... why?
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Not sure what you mean by 'real'. It at least looked legit to me, in terms of Chris probably being the author.

In terms of relevance, maybe I'm reaching for it a bit. It has been a slow few days. I thought this might be of some interest.

Didn't mean to go all spergy. :oops:

I need to get other hobbies..... :?
 
It definitely sounds like it was written by Chris, so I'm going to base my reply on that assumption:


WOW, that's full of lies. The one that pisses me off the most is that he says he has a BA. I'm working towards my BSc and it pisses me off so much because I'm working my ass off for that degree and he just claims he has a BA. I'm aware there wouldn't have been a CADD-specific option but surely there's something more like the truth such as 'high school graduate' 'diploma/apprenticeship', 'college graduate' or something like that.

I also like how he warns that he'll likely be cold and timid, and that the woman MUST introduce herself. He basically says that you have to drive to see him, then find him in a fast food restaurant, greet him and then he'll decide whether or not he's a troll. Of course, he won't be doing any work, he'll just be judging you.

I am not even going to go there with the greasy pigtails, acne and double chin.
 
Wonder where Pic #3 is from... Looks like a local concert. Everyone seems to be staring at Chris for some reason. Who am I kidding, we know why.
 
Bridechu said:
Wonder where Pic #3 is from... Looks like a local concert. Everyone seems to be staring at Chris for some reason. Who am I kidding, we know why.
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That was the Mythbusters show.

Also, this isn't new content.
 
I forgot about pic 3. Clearly he has a purse.

So this was active three weeks ago, so anything he's wasting with tugboat $$$
 
Goodbye horses. I'm lying over you. Goodbye horses. I'm lying, lying, lying over you.
 
1- Well glad to see he's into fitness.
2- Emotionally mature. Says the guy who holds grudges and wants random ladies murdered.
3- Maybe it's just me but saying you are paranoid at the end of your profile isn't a way to get chicks. Hey, maybe I'm wrong.
4- McDonald's and Burger King are his favorite hot spots. We all know this is true but Jesus don't admit that shit.
5- - "I'll tell you later" for occupation and income. Lulz.
6- Still brings up Sonichu and Rosechu. Never change.

Nothing new but a funny read.
 
I love how this welfare sponge who has been living leeching off an $800 a month taxpayer-funded allowance for most of his adult life is only willing to date women making a minimum of 50k a year.

Only pull in 49k? Forget it. Even Chris has standards. I bet he's just been inundated with hot blondes making six figures who want to be his lover, mommy, and nanny all at the same time.
 
If you didn't know Chris you'd think this profile was some sort of joke. It's the closest Chris has ever come to making a genuine parody.
 
I showed this to Mrs. Dude. She laughed until she cried. She's also glad that she doesn't meet many of Chris' standards. It means she's safe from him.
 
Still not the worst profile I've seen... by a looooong shot. :?

I admit, it's almost kind of cute seeing the dumb animal trying his very very hardest to pretend to be a person. It's just a shame he'll never be able to appreciate just how hilarious it all is.
 
If this is his real thing, I love that this is basically posting an internet attraction sign where he says finding him at his usual hangouts is your best bet. If you're interested in dating me, try to find me loitering at McDonalds, Burger King, or Wal-Mart. The idea that a woman would be so interested in him that she will stake out his spots is just insane, it's classic Chris
 
Seeing photo #3 without warning actually startled me a little. It's late and those bug eyes just... time for bed, Tube.
 
"Bless me with your sweetness, and I will do what I can for you might acknowledge you."
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Chris' love is not unconditional.

+1 for not telling people to IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS.
 
"Ethnicity: Native American, White/Caucasian"

He's still holding on to the Cherokian Clan myth?
 
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