Clerks 3 - Starring DSPs not so retarded cousin and Rosario Dawson

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MirrorNoir said:
As bad as Dante can be, Randall is a thousand times worse and you can probably attribute a lot of Dante's worst elements to Randall being a cancerous tumor that uses his tight psychological grip on Dante to egg on all of Dante's worst traits because watching Dante suffer and have zero choice but to stay with Randall.
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MirrorNoir said:
Randall's "I hate everything" speech in Clerks 2, which Smith wrote to try and illicit sympathy for Randall manipulating shit to make Randall dump his fiance for Dawson's character
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Did we watch the same movie? Yeah, Randall hates everything etc, but he's nothing but supportive of Dante moving away, even when he learns that Becca wants to keep the kid, he points out that she doesn't expect him to be with her and that she won't be telling anyone, so he can freely be on his way to Florida without anything to worry about. Even when he gets really upset because of what Pickle Fucker said, he still doesn't blame Dante or share how he's feeling, it's really only when Dante is acting like a cunt in jail and blaming everyone but himself that he's pushed and tells him how he really feels.

I'm far from saying that Randall is not a scumbag, he is, but he's a much better friend to Dante than Dante's been to Randall. You can tell that Dante feels superior to Randall, and yet. both are two losers flipping burgers in their 30s.

MirrorNoir said:
Isn't she married to famed closet homosexual and quisling democrat politician Corey Booker?
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Chocolate Wombat said:
I know she was dating him, not sure her current relationship status.
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Rumors are she's a dyke, or at the very least very bisexual, so it was just a relationship so she could be First Lady while he could be President and once she saw he had no chance of being President she dumped him.

Milwaukee Macho Man said:
Never forget there was that brief moment in the 90's where people considered Kevin Smith and Quinten Tarantino equals with an equal trajectory in Hollywood.
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I don't think they were seen as equals, as much as they were the two biggest stars of indie that were going straight to directing big blockbusters...
 
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Internet War Criminal said:
I don't think they were seen as equals, as much as they were the two biggest stars of indie that were going straight to directing big blockbusters...
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They were, the whole meme came from some Hollywood article about them and Miramax in the 94 or 95.

It quickly changed and everyone wanted to forget the second Mallrats came out.
 
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Jasonmewes.jpg
jesus... he's like a mix between the "robogadget" from the 99' shitty live action and val kilmer with cancer
 
To be really honest, it was around 2017 when it finally dawned on me that Silent Bob and Kevin Smith were one and the same.
 
Internet War Criminal said:
So I just rewatched Clerks II and, uh...

Dante is a scumbag, straight up. Like, for real. He's going out with a girl who loves him, offers him upward mobility, gets him a better job, believes in him and how does he thank her? Just straight up cheats on her. Yeah, sure, he says he loves Becca, but at the end of the day he cheated on his fiancee, was blissfully moving to Florida and was gonna spend the rest of his life with her. It's not like he's so in love with Becca that he wanted to stay in NJ, the only reason why he decided to stay behind in the first place is because he wants to raise the child now that he's presented the opportunity. Even after he's caught he goes 'Nah fuck all of you I'm still moving to Florida'.

We literally have no reason to hate Emma and there are no signs that she's a bitch except for the fact she chose a date for the wedding without consulting him, but we know Dante is an indecisive loser. At the end of the day, he's replacing a woman who is gonna make all of his decisions for another woman who is clearly gonna make his decisions for him.

"She likes you who for you who are" isn't a positive thing when you're an aimless loser who's 32 and fucking works flipping burgers.

Emma didn't do anything wrong.


I don't know if it's just getting older, or the whole 'throw your life away for ~love~' has lost its charm to me, but it seems like fucking bullshit. I still enjoyed the movie, but yeah now my feeling afterwards is fuck Dante he doesn't deserve that happy ending at all.
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In the first movie he was infamously shitty to Veronica, the best girl, so he could get back together with his ex Caitlin, who was not only a whore, but an engaged whore.

He's literally a proto Mordecai.
 
Seven years ago this would have had me excited. Clerks 2 I thought was a surprisingly good, and even mature movie. It had raunchiness but also some touching themes about friendship.

However, and I can't stress this enough, comedy is mostly dead. Especially the kind Smith used to do. Instead of fighting to include things that might go over the line and offend he will make sure everything is Approved by Black, Gay & Lefty Twitter. He'll camouflage some of his attempted humor in a cloak of "middle age white guys so stupid!", which will fool some of the people. But I would put money on this being a cowardly stain on his modestly successful "ViewAskewniverse".
 
Chocolate Wombat said:
Is it just me or has Rosario Dawson aged horribly? She looks like someone gave a bunch of growth hormones to a goblin.
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She was never hot. Even with youth on her side, in the movie Kids when she was like 17, she was still ugly.
NOT a Loaded Gun said:
Of all the Kevin Smith movies I've seen I would say Clerks is my favorite. Dogma is okay. Chasing Amy is hugely overrated.
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Agree with everything else you said, but Dogma sucks dick.
 
I want this to be good, but I'm doubtful. Smith's early films are all thoroughly enjoyable and were big deals to me growing up. Clerks II was the last thing he did that was watchable though. I didn't even sit through all of Tusk. Didn't bother with Yoga Girls or whatever it was called. Jay and Silent Bob Reboot was crap. Kevin is proof that weed and Marvel movies are flat-out bad for your brain.
 
Internet War Criminal said:
So I just rewatched Clerks II and, uh...

Dante is a scumbag, straight up. Like, for real. He's going out with a girl who loves him, offers him upward mobility, gets him a better job, believes in him and how does he thank her? Just straight up cheats on her. Yeah, sure, he says he loves Becca, but at the end of the day he cheated on his fiancee, was blissfully moving to Florida and was gonna spend the rest of his life with her. It's not like he's so in love with Becca that he wanted to stay in NJ, the only reason why he decided to stay behind in the first place is because he wants to raise the child now that he's presented the opportunity. Even after he's caught he goes 'Nah fuck all of you I'm still moving to Florida'.

We literally have no reason to hate Emma and there are no signs that she's a bitch except for the fact she chose a date for the wedding without consulting him, but we know Dante is an indecisive loser. At the end of the day, he's replacing a woman who is gonna make all of his decisions for another woman who is clearly gonna make his decisions for him.

"She likes you who for you who are" isn't a positive thing when you're an aimless loser who's 32 and fucking works flipping burgers.

Emma didn't do anything wrong.


I don't know if it's just getting older, or the whole 'throw your life away for ~love~' has lost its charm to me, but it seems like fucking bullshit. I still enjoyed the movie, but yeah now my feeling afterwards is fuck Dante he doesn't deserve that happy ending at all.
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Isn't it weird that he had his wife play Emma?
 
FatMebius said:
I want this to be good, but I'm doubtful. Smith's early films are all thoroughly enjoyable and were big deals to me growing up. Clerks II was the last thing he did that was watchable though. I didn't even sit through all of Tusk. Didn't bother with Yoga Girls or whatever it was called. Jay and Silent Bob Reboot was crap. Kevin is proof that weed and Marvel movies are flat-out bad for your brain.
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Did he ever make his hockey movie?
 
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