حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%

  • Total voters
    954
Found this in my inbox today. It's just under a month old, but it shows that Connor is so obsessed with me that no matter how many times he comes to conclusion that I'm a fake he can't risk not messaging me in fear of me being real.
View attachment 41106
hurry up and friendzone him so i can swoop in for the rebound
 
Here is Connor's original RE thread.

Here is @Mauvman Shuffleboard's Redesign of it:
Part the First through Third
Part the Fourth through Fifth
Part the Sixth through Seventh
Part the Eighth
Part the Ninth through Eleventh

And here is @The Knife's deconstruction of his work
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapters 6 and 7
Chapters 8 and 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12

Ok, so I'm almost at the end of three, but does something happen? Like at all?
Where's the inciting incident? All it is is some EMP outcast whining about how her life is shitty even though she's SOOPER SPESHUL.

It's a MLP Human in Equestria fanfic. Without ponies.
 
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Reactions: Scribbler
So I still have a couple of questions about @Connor Bible's behavior yesterday because dude still has me a bit baffled.

1- So kid talks about how he'll "totally drink himself to death, just wait and see." Besides how totally unoriginal this is for an author to do has kid ever actually gotten drunk? Kid is such a nerd and anti-social that I can't imagine him going out drinkin and shit.

2- So Connor will turn down any woman that wants to date him and they're all sluts. Stupid but whatever. Why the fuck does he care? I know it's because he's wack but has he ever given an explanation?
 
1- So kid talks about how he'll "totally drink himself to death, just wait and see." Besides how totally unoriginal this is for an author to do has kid ever actually gotten drunk? Kid is such a nerd and anti-social that I can't imagine him going out drinkin and shit.
Can you really imagine Conner going to a liquor store and buying whiskey? He'd probably confuse what's in his Big Gulp with alcohol.
2- So Connor will turn down any woman that wants to date him and they're all sluts. Stupid but whatever. Why the fuck does he care? I know it's because he's wack but has he ever given an explanation?
Because he's insecure and wants to come up with irrational reasons as to why he is single and alone.
 
Ok, so I'm almost at the end of three, but does something happen? Like at all?
Where's the inciting incident? All it is is some EMP outcast whining about how her life is shitty even though she's SOOPER SPESHUL.

It's a MLP Human in Equestria fanfic. Without ponies.
There's some good parts, like when the teacher masturbates to death in front of the class room, or when you get introduced to the copy of the black orderly in Silence of the Lambs, who is now a gorilla because not being racist is hard, as well as Gendo Lecter.
 
There's some good parts, like when the teacher masturbates to death in front of the class room, or when you get introduced to the copy of the black orderly in Silence of the Lambs, who is now a gorilla because not being racist is hard, as well as Gendo Lecter.

...

Is research even a fucking thing anymore?
Sonichu was more grounded in reality.
 
1- So kid talks about how he'll "totally drink himself to death, just wait and see." Besides how totally unoriginal this is for an author to do has kid ever actually gotten drunk? Kid is such a nerd and anti-social that I can't imagine him going out drinkin and shit.

Connor has a very unfortunate Uncle who is slowly dying of cirrhosis, though that's been going on for half a decade now. He has also said his Mother regularly gets drunk and yells at him at Applebees.

To answer your question, no, Connor has never had a drink. He's actively fought against drinking for years, and has chastised members here for suggesting he have a couple brews now that he's legal because he's not going out like one of those deadbeats.
 
Ooh, Connor is the featured thread again! Alright, let's see what he's up to...

Like that would do any good. You'd shit on me anyways. Fuckers.

Everyone's fucking trash to me. This whole planet is one giant mound of shit floating in outer space.

And another thing... I'm not even thinking about having a relationship with some slut. All the fish in the sea are fucking poisonous.

If some bitch plays nice to me, I'd expose her for the fraud she is.

All women are sluts.

Any bitch so much as offers to go on a date with me, I'd tell them to go fuck themselves.

Ah, it's so comforting to know that some things never change. And it looks like Connor is slowly but surely embracing his loveshyness! Why, before we know it, he'll be rubbing shoulders with Holden and the Sluthaters! They grow up so fast...
 
To answer your question, no, Connor has never had a drink. He's actively fought against drinking for years, and has chastised members here for suggesting he have a couple brews now that he's legal because he's not going out like one of those deadbeats.

Sounds familiar.

You should buy him a Long Island Iced Tea.
 
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