Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread

[Sparkletor 2.0]

He admitted he's not a good cook but he's an expert at seasoning.

I guess it depends on the definition of "seasoning". He fucking dropped his food on his kitchen floor on camera and still cooked with it.

 

[Iron Father]

Phil said in today pre-stream that if he "had the time to cook" he would be very good at it since he is good at cutting vegetables lmao...

Expert at seasoning who uses garlic salt in copious amounts.

I like the idea of meticulously adding other seasonings to your pot of sauce, and then at the end just dumping sugar in because if you don't "it'll just be tart and acidic" which basically means everything else you added will be drowned out by the fucking sugar and was a waste of time.

 

[actually]

I've never seen someone wear rubber gloves to cut onions, poorly or otherwise. That alone shows that he doesn't cook.

 

[Iron Father]

I've never seen someone wear rubber gloves to cut onions, poorly or otherwise. That alone shows that he doesn't cook.

To be fair, he's probably trying to avoid seasoning his sugar sauce with his knuckle hairs.

 

[Kosher Dill]

To be fair, he's probably trying to avoid seasoning his sugar sauce with his knuckle hairs.

So much for being an authentic Italian.

 

[Filthy Greenskin]

I've never seen someone wear rubber gloves to cut onions, poorly or otherwise. That alone shows that he doesn't cook.

People wear them to cut chillis so you don't get the oil under your fingernails, likely Phil put two and two together and ended up with five.

I like the idea of meticulously adding other seasonings to your pot of sauce, and then at the end just dumping sugar in because if you don't "it'll just be tart and acidic" which basically means everything else you added will be drowned out by the fucking sugar and was a waste of time.

Fucking hell, you put that much sugar in a cake not a sauce. It's likely he boils the fuck out of it over a few hours so that the sauce has reduced to some awful thick red slurry and any natural sugars has long broken down so he just dumps a load of caster sugar in. It really underlines how unintentionally talented Phil is when you have tomatoes, onions and garlic in there and still manage to make it sour.

 

[LiquidCancer]

Fucking hell, you put that much sugar in a cake not a sauce. It's likely he boils the fuck out of it over a few hours so that the sauce has reduced to some awful thick red slurry and any natural sugars has long broken down so he just dumps a load of caster sugar in. It really underlines how unintentionally talented Phil is when you have tomatoes, onions and garlic in there and still manage to make it sour.

Yes his 'Family' Recipe for sauce takes something like 8-10 hours because its just canned tomatoes that he adds water to.

Also keep in mind they only eat the sauce fresh that day and then freeze 6-10 months of it to enjoy later which in every single photo he's ever shown means the sauce ends up on the pasta having water at the bottom and thick freezer burned sauce on top.

 

[Iron Father]

Yes his 'Family' Recipe for sauce takes something like 8-10 hours because its just canned tomatoes that he adds water to.

Also keep in mind they only eat the sauce fresh that day and then freeze 6-10 months of it to enjoy later which in every single photo he's ever shown means the sauce ends up on the pasta having water at the bottom and thick freezer burned sauce on top.

Honestly I don't hate on him much for freezing his sauce and eating it over multiple months, if only he could learn to use this kind of thriftiness and forethought in other areas of his life...

The way you described it does sound gross though.

 

[tzgnilki]

Honestly I don't hate on him much for freezing his sauce and eating it over multiple months, if only he could learn to use this kind of thriftiness and forethought in other areas of his life...

The way you described it does sound gross though.

he has asked in the past, how to keep bagels "fresh", he doesn't even know you can freeze bread

 

[Iron Father]

he has asked in the past, how to keep bagels "fresh", he doesn't even know you can freeze bread

Someone recently posted his old house walkthrough vlog featuring a portion on his fridge/freezer and yeah, he had the most insta-gratification selection of shit ever. It was all just treats (frozen yogurt, soda, energy drinks, chocolate, dipping sauces, frozen pizza, several types of shredded cheese etc), and I think some frozen shrimp.

I definitely have a shitload of stuff frozen just in case and I'm not even bankrupt and begging!

 

[Kumomo]

I remember when Phil was doing Cooking with the king and he was making Tacos I think? He used half of the ground beef and threw the rest away if I remember well. Other than that, what a fucking shit chef he was.

 

[DiabeticSP]

I'd love to see Lazy Gamer Chef Phil vs Lazy Man Chef Jack Scalfani.

I'd sacrifice my health to officiate that contest.

Burnt eggs with soggy bacon and floor toast vs raw but also burnt smothered in sour cream keto friendly stuffed peppers with five pounds of cheese.

 

[Iron Father]

I remember when Phil was doing Cooking with the king and he was making Tacos I think? He used half of the ground beef and threw the rest away if I remember well. Other than that, what a fucking shit chef he was.

It was more like 1/4 of ground beef that he binned. Still retarded though.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

It was more like 1/4 of ground beef that he binned. Still retarded though.

What do you expect from a guy who's greatest culinary achievement is making some terrible sauce and pouring bacon grease down the toilet?

All this really shows is how much a retard Phil is. If you take a look at all the food he's made, it's basic and half of it is something premade.

 

[Iron Father]

Still retarded though.

All this really shows is how much a retard Phil is.

 

[UncleTusky]

he has asked in the past, how to keep bagels "fresh", he doesn't even know you can freeze bread

Slightly off topic but he mentioned that back when he worked at the helicopter plant he had trouble getting to McDonald's in time before they stopped serving breakfast. At least nowadays they open around 5AM and stop serving breakfast around 10AM. Either he was showing up to "start" the day around 10:30 for no good reason or he left for a McBeetus break about an hour after showing up -no wonder they got rid of him.

Also, McDonalds breakfast is eggs + sausage + an English muffin - that's fifteen minutes of work including cleanup and even Phil knows/claims to know how to make each of those. I've been in the 'tism vortex on and off since 2014 and his laziness is still incredible.

 

[mrfinlandman]

I'm honestly surprised Phil hasn't tried to cook eggs in a microvawe yet. It sounds exactly like something he would do

 

[DiabeticSP]

I'm honestly surprised Phil hasn't tried to cook eggs in a microvawe yet. It sounds exactly like something he would do

As a proud polock I cook my bacon the way my father and his forefathers did, tossing that shit between some paper towels and microwaving a minute per slice.

I still make more edible bacon than this bastard.

 

[Iron Father]

At least nowadays they open around 5AM

Right at the end of this advert it says "most open at 5AM" and it's from 2007.

So yeah he definitely had PLENTY of time to get to work early, have a McDonald's breakfast, and then start.

 

[Preferred Penne]

I'm honestly surprised Phil hasn't tried to cook eggs in a microvawe yet. It sounds exactly like something he would do

I. uh. do that sometimes.

But only if I'm putting the eggs on a bagel/English muffin/biscuit, because I find the egg holds together better.