Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread

[gettingthatgrooveback]

I just watched the videos in which Phil goes through the making of his Italian tomato sauce.
I am an elementary cook, but what I saw was highly objectionable.

First off, HE CHOPS ONIONS LIKE A CHILD:

I saw that he owns a proper Chef's knife. And yet he chooses to use a utility knife.


Secondly, he puts in 3 CANS OF TOMATO PASTE.

He does so to 'thicken' the sauce. DUDE, THEN WHY ARE YOU SIMMERING IT FOR 4 1/2 HOURS!?
3 cans are way too much, it will make the sauce too acidic. That must be why he adds so much sugar.

Thirdly, this motherfucker has the GALL to call this tomato sauce 'Italian' WITHOUT INCLUDING OLIVE OIL AND BASIL!


This fucking guy. THIS FUCKING GUY.
He is exceptionally retarded.

 

[Sir Wesley Tailpipe]

I just watched the videos in which Phil goes through the making of his Italian tomato sauce.
I am an elementary cook, but what I saw was highly objectionable.

First off, HE CHOPS ONIONS LIKE A CHILD:
View attachment 1247622















I saw that he owns a proper Chef's knife. And yet he chooses to use a utility knife.


Secondly, he puts in 3 CANS OF TOMATO PASTE.
View attachment 1247626
He does so to 'thicken' the sauce. DUDE, THEN WHY ARE YOU SIMMERING IT FOR 4 1/2 HOURS!?
3 cans are way too much, it will make the sauce too acidic. That must be why he adds so much sugar.

Thirdly, this motherfucker has the GALL to call this tomato sauce 'Italian' WITHOUT INCLUDING OLIVE OIL AND BASIL!


This fucking guy. THIS FUCKING GUY.
He is exceptionally exceptional.

He makes Italian sauce like a dumb polack!

 

[Prince Lotor]

This "sauce" is more or less his pride and joy of cooking. He's absolutely making it and making Kat choke it down with some of his burned, overcooked meatballs.

He doesn't make the meatballs anymore, he just dumps 2 packages of whole chicken sausage in to stew in the simmering tomato goop for 4 hours. Edit2: It was one of the "positive changes" Kathy made to his sauce.
Edit: It looks like what I posted here from his Instagram https://kiwifarms.net/threads/cooking-with-kat-and-dsp-thread.39949/page-32#post-5501147

 

[DiabeticSP]

He doesn't make the meatballs anymore, he just dumps 2 packages of whole chicken sausage in to stew in the simmering tomato goop for 4 hours.

What a lazy fuck. He can't even make his own sauce right.

 

[wahkando]

I just watched the videos in which Phil goes through the making of his Italian tomato sauce.
I am an elementary cook, but what I saw was highly objectionable.

First off, HE CHOPS ONIONS LIKE A CHILD:
View attachment 1247622















I saw that he owns a proper Chef's knife. And yet he chooses to use a utility knife.


Secondly, he puts in 3 CANS OF TOMATO PASTE.
View attachment 1247626
He does so to 'thicken' the sauce. DUDE, THEN WHY ARE YOU SIMMERING IT FOR 4 1/2 HOURS!?
3 cans are way too much, it will make the sauce too acidic. That must be why he adds so much sugar.

Thirdly, this motherfucker has the GALL to call this tomato sauce 'Italian' WITHOUT INCLUDING OLIVE OIL AND BASIL!


This fucking guy. THIS FUCKING GUY.
He is exceptionally exceptional.

LMAO are you joking

3 cans of tomato paste

cutting onions like an absolute mongoloid

as someone who ACTUALLY worked in the "food service industry" through HS and college - this mother fucker woulda gotten kicked out of the kitchen day one if he was cutting an onion like that. Jesus.

 

[Adamska]

I just watched the videos in which Phil goes through the making of his Italian tomato sauce.
I am an elementary cook, but what I saw was highly objectionable.

First off, HE CHOPS ONIONS LIKE A CHILD:
View attachment 1247622















I saw that he owns a proper Chef's knife. And yet he chooses to use a utility knife.


Secondly, he puts in 3 CANS OF TOMATO PASTE.
View attachment 1247626
He does so to 'thicken' the sauce. DUDE, THEN WHY ARE YOU SIMMERING IT FOR 4 1/2 HOURS!?
3 cans are way too much, it will make the sauce too acidic. That must be why he adds so much sugar.

Thirdly, this motherfucker has the GALL to call this tomato sauce 'Italian' WITHOUT INCLUDING OLIVE OIL AND BASIL!


This fucking guy. THIS FUCKING GUY.
He is exceptionally exceptional.

Basically if you want a good marinara or spaghetti sauce it's as easy as the following:

A can or two of crushed tomatoes (san marzo being quite good, homegrown usually better, but any will do)
Salt
Pepper
A clove of garlic
An Onion
Oregano
Basil
Olive Oil
Carrot (to negate acidity)

Use a micro-plane (grater) to cut down your onion and carrot, let it sweat in a bit of oil alongside the garlic (which does best with a crusher). Add in the seasoning at this point, and then incorporate the tomatoes to it. Rule of thumb on when it's done is when it is reduced by half. You don't need to do so much if you use paste too, since that thickens it. For extra body, add in a bit of wine too.

Pig taking hours is retarded, since it don't take that long even for big week batches. It's just an excuse to hide and T-pose and rock autistically off-screen, to hide from his audience he hates.

 

[wahkando]

Basically if you want a good marinara or spaghetti sauce it's as easy as the following:

A can or two of crushed tomatoes (san marzo being quite good, homegrown usually better, but any will do)
Salt
Pepper
A clove of garlic
An Onion
Oregano
Basil
Olive Oil
Carrot (to negate acidity)

Use a micro-plane (grater) to cut down your onion and carrot, let it sweat in a bit of oil alongside the garlic (which does best with a crusher). Add in the seasoning at this point, and then incorporate the tomatoes to it. Rule of thumb on when it's done is when it is reduced by half. You don't need to do so much if you use paste too, since that thickens it. For extra body, add in a bit of wine too.

Pig taking hours is exceptional, since it don't take that long even for big week batches. It's just an excuse to hide and T-pose and rock autistically off-screen, to hide from his audience he hates.

How many carrots can we estimate you'd have to use to make up for THREE FULL CANS of tomato paste?

Using a mandoline for onion is such an American thing to do though

 

[gaarashatan]

I find it ridiculous how much prestige he puts on Khet making 'custom' breading for chicken.

Wow she didn't buy it but put a little effort to make one of the most basic things you can cook? Amazing.

Cases like this show me how low his opinion of her is, how useless she must be aside for cleaning and heating up a store bought meal, and how inept he is at everything.

He talks about his wife, a full grown adult, like she is his daughter who just managed to cook her first meal. She's only referred to as the person who makes him happy by cleaning and cooking.

I remember him once even shitting on her because she didn't listen to him and cooked something wrong and he hated it. Ridiculous.

Also the way he takes everything as literally as possible. A meal is 'home-made' if you made it at home. It doesn't matter if you bought a meat loaf that just requires to be heated at 220 C on 15 minutes, a frozen pizza, frozen chicken nuggets or you cut, seasoned and baked it yourself.

A meal is 'custom' if you completely made it from scratch, or as other people call it - a normal meal.

It amazes me even more how a glutton such as Paul, who if you listen to talk about food all day can leave an impression that he really is interested in food and cooking knows absolutely nothing about cooking and just likes to consume.

Only DSP can talk and do something for literal decades and still know nothing about it. He just wants to consume and not put effort.

today im going to do a youtube video on making hamburgers
we got store bought frozen patties "cause if i had to spend 2 mins patting out burgers and seasoning them myself id kill myself", store bought buns, store bought condiments
"going to pam the pan cause i aint got time to melt butter, im a gamer"
flips patty, audible dink sound from it still being frozen
alright our homemade meal is done
"ok so now were gonna pour this grease down our toilet"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix9Ir36aKTk

the grease down the toilet is from his egg video and i cant remember the one where he said i aint time to melt butter, im a gamer

i also enjoy the part of him making excuse about the precut lettuce "it was on sale or id buy a head of lettuce" like yeah dude sure (you can tell this is a lie because he has another bag of precut lettuce in that tuna sandwich (in which he even goes on to talk about how he doesnt want to wash and cut a head of lettuce) video along with a new jar of mayo *so enough time has passed* maybe it was just on sale again. you just told you youd kill yourself if you had to make your own burgers. and precooked bacon too cause it was on sale too!

HE DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO SQUEEZE CONDIMENTS. THAT BBQ AND KETCHUP HAHA. he really is such a fucking fool

 

[Banned in 49 States]

This dude has definitely on more than one occasion stopped at the pasta sauce section at the super market and quietly snickered to himself.

"Tzzzzz, look Khet. It's that cheap stuff. I can't belive people buy this crap, dood they are not even real authentic italian tomatoes* Then he accidentally smacks Khet while T-posing.

 

[DiabeticSP]

This dude has definitely on more than one occasion stopped at the pasta sauce section at the super market and quietly snickered to himself.

"Tzzzzz, look Khet. It's that cheap stuff. I can't belive people buy this crap, dood they are not even real authentic italian tomatoes* Then he accidentally smacks Khet while T-posing.

Didn't Kat demand store bought sauce one time and Phil very subtly was pissy about it?

 

[Banned in 49 States]

Didn't Kat demand store bought sauce one time and Phil very subtly was pissy about it?

I can see that being the case. She has probably forbidden the sauce completly anyway like some pepul here have suggested.

 

[Adamska]

How many carrots can we estimate you'd have to use to make up for THREE FULL CANS of tomato paste?

Using a mandoline for onion is such an American thing to do though

You can also partially negate tomato acidity by letting it sweat out and cook itself in the pan, with the paste it's usually right after the veg, but like in the center after you clear the veg to the side. Also you only need one small can given how much one can of paste goes to thickening a sauce. I don't really measure decisively with my ingredients unless I'm baking since I sip and sample with stews and sauces, but with that many cans? Probably at least another carrot.

But then this is Pig, who apparently is so eternally drunk he can only feel the dopamine from food that he pours a whole measuring cup's worth of sugar into this shit.

 

[Wurstbrot]

We had a great back in time stream with LSB yesterday, watching Phil "cook" his autistic non-italian soup with moaning Leanna. My personal highlights:

• Leanna's constant sarcasm, making fun of his oh-so-Italian recipe.
• Phil: "Cooking is not science." LSB: "It's literal science, chemistry, eateable science".
• This recipe needs 5 pages.
• He whore gloves for no reason,the entire time.
• As mentioned before, he cuts onions like a child.
• He cuts garlic like a barbarian, in big chunks instead of tiny bits (they look like mushroom slices). He uses garlic salt in addition. He throws in garlic at the start, then at the end for no reason.
• He makes everything in one single giant pot.
• He uses a bowl with a brand name.
• He burns his meatballs on one side, and to cook the other side he picks them up and let them FALL. Of course they partially fell apart.
• When he separated the good juicy parts from the tomato junk (I don't know how this process is called) which took a while, he scratched the junk out and THREW IT IN THE POT, completely missing the point of this process.
• He added so much water, making it look like tomato flavored water. You know why it needs several hours to cook? To get rid of all the unnecessary water, JESUS.
• As mentioned before, 3 cans of tomato paste. Why does he go through this process of creating his own homemade sauce with self crunched tomatoes when the most important ingredient is already prepared industrial can-food? Is this the Italian way of cooking?
• Leanna tasted the finished product and her face said: It's shitty boring shit not worth the time. But described it quite sexual and convincing positive. Not sure how to take this tbh.
• (edit: Of course the big pile of sugar added to the mix)
• (edit: Won't tell us this secret recipe but shows every single page)

I've learned that Phil had no idea what he was doing. He hasn't put a single thought into this, just roughly and blindly followed a 5 page guide with terrible handwriting. Just how he plays games. His motoric skills are absolutely underdeveloped, the way he does anything with his hands is cringe.

 

[Meerkat Ink]

This recipe needs 5 pages

He's getting his hand held in the thing he's made numerous times before. Typical Dark

 

[Kosher Dill]

He whore gloves for no reason,the entire time.

Oh no, there is a reason. He was mocked for his disgusting, unsanitary meat handling practices in early "Cooking with the King" episodes, so he started wearing the gloves. As always, detractors live rent-free in his oddly shaped head.

 

[LiquidCancer]

He bought the strategy guide for sauce making and still fucked it up.

 

[DiabeticSP]

Honestly how the fuck do you need 5 pages for 'put things in pot, stir'?

This is a serious question, whats in those pages. What could it possibly be even if it was bullshit filler and size 30 font so Phil can read it without his glasses?

 

[Kosher Dill]

Honestly how the fuck do you need 5 pages for 'put things in pot, stir'?

This is a serious question, whats in those pages. What could it possibly be

Most of it is about how to boil things.

 

[ZehnBoat]

Honestly how the fuck do you need 5 pages for 'put things in pot, stir'?

This is a serious question, whats in those pages. What could it possibly be even if it was bullshit filler and size 30 font so Phil can read it without his glasses?

first you gotta go to the kitchen, okay? then you gotta find the big pot, then you gotta take it out of the cabinet...

 

[flatsoda]

• He uses a bowl with a brand name.

They're Wolfgang Puck brand mixing bowls (Retail value: $80.10/ Reg HSN price: $59.95!) that were exclusive to Home Shopping Network.

Probably another gift from Darksydemom's HSN/QVC shopping addiction.
Unfortunately the mixing bowls that are famously used to make The Burnell Famiglia Authentic Italian Sugar Sauce are no longer available. The current era Wolfgang Puck mixing bowls available has a more generic font for the branding. So that means that his mixing bowls are collector's items, DOOD!

The Grift Continues . . .