Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread

[TheGoutburglar]

I wasn't exaggerating when I said he drowns the sauce-it literally looks like soup when he adds in the water and apparently he adds more while it simmers. Nobody in this thread could find one that takes > 3 hours and you know our top autists would find a longer cooking sauce if it were out there.

Of course not. Like I said, it's sauce, not a big piece of meat. Shit, not even chili takes that fucking long. We had plenty reason to see Phil as being a perpetual "pulled this out of my ass but you'll never hear me cop to it" kind of schmuck, but this really takes the cake. He did no research whatsoever, it's not a family recipe, he made it up. Just like so many other things that expose him as being a stupid asshole.

Nah, he insists that one home-cooked meal costs as much as eating out one night, not that a half-week or week of groceries costs as much.

I can't tell if that's him being dumb or him being a liar because he doesn't want to admit he simply likes not having to cook.

It was maybe once every 1-2 months with Leanna, now it's more like once every 3-5 months with Khet. He also freezes the stuff and puts it on whatever his 'tism wants-I have a pet theory that he is pre-diabetic or diabetic and that's why he almost never eats sweets.

There's no way that he doesn't have health problems from eating like that. He's lucky to even be alive.

 

[DarkSoulsPhil]

A normal marinara used by humans would use a 28 ounce can (like one of what Phil used), an onion cut into rough chunks, some garlic, olive oil to taste, maybe 1/4 cup at most or less, some oregano, maybe some fresh basil, and you'd take the onion out after a bit. You really don't need to add any sugar at all, the onion does it, but adding nearly homeopathic amounts, like 1/2 teaspoon for a large batch, isn't going to hurt anything.

I have no idea what the fuck he was doing.

This is so close to what my nan does. You dont put the onions in chunks and you add a little salt at the beginning.

Of all the sauces I've made/experimented with I never add sugar. It blows my mind he adds a cup let alone more than one

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I wish we had a "Cooking With Kat (and DSP)" thread where we could discuss Phil's sauce.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

I will never get over how much fucking sugar he puts in his "sauce". Along with everything else wrong with it, he may as well be making it with Mountain Dew and Doritos. Would taste just as awful.

 

[tzgnilki]

the air fryer has now become a detractor because it's "annoying to clean"

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

the air fryer has now become a detractor because it's "annoying to clean"

Just wipe it down with a wet paper towel.

If it's good enough for Phil's body, it's good enough for the air fryer.

 

[Schmeckel]

the air fryer has now become a detractor because it's "annoying to clean"

It's a little bit of fucking oil.

If the air fryer is now a detractor, then the piece of shit pot he makes his real authentic Italian by way of Poland sauce is Fred Fuchs. That greasy, nasty, sugary kool-aid has to make that pot look like a civil war battlefield afterwards. He probably tells khet "Um... Well, you know, since I um made the sauce, you can um clean the pot?" "No, Philip" "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING."

 

[gh0stzero]

I will never get over how much fucking sugar he puts in his "sauce". Along with everything else wrong with it, he may as well be making it with Mountain Dew and Doritos. Would taste just as awful.

He tried blaming his own mothers recipe over that live on stream, there is literally nobody he will not throw under a bus to try make him look better.

 

[Shambler]

He tried blaming his own mothers recipe over that live on stream, there is literally nobody he will not throw under a bus to try make him look better.

so his mother told him that she "eye balls the numbers and the ones i wrote down aren't really accurate" but started with those numbers anyway

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Yeah, I know. Though I hadn't actually watched the clip because there is only so much of hearing Phil do nothing but lie I can take.

My favorite part is when he talks about us taking advantage of this being the internet.

We're not the ones who refuse to interact with anyone in a place we don't have god-like control over, pigroach. You run from any encounter where people know about you and can speak their mind.

 

[Iron Father]

He ate his mother's delicious sauce for his entire life, enough to take her recipe and start making it himself (a man so terrible at cooking he fucked up cup noodles), but now all of a sudden it's ewww too sweet, he's reducing the amount of sugar he adds.

Yeah right, sure it has nothing to do with being mocked online for making sugary gout sauce.

 

[Anal birth]

He ate his mother's delicious sauce for his entire life, enough to take her recipe and start making it himself (a man so terrible at cooking he fucked up cup noodles), but now all of a sudden it's ewww too sweet, he's reducing the amount of sugar he adds.

Yeah right, sure it has nothing to do with being mocked online for making sugary gout sauce.

Bugged sweetness mechanics bro, there's nothing he could do. Its all Neil Druckman's fault

 

[TheGoutburglar]

He ate his mother's delicious sauce for his entire life, enough to take her recipe and start making it himself (a man so terrible at cooking he fucked up cup noodles), but now all of a sudden it's ewww too sweet, he's reducing the amount of sugar he adds.

Yeah right, sure it has nothing to do with being mocked online for making sugary gout sauce.

Mind you, I COULD believe that he didn't notice as a child because he might have grown up eating all kinds of sugary things, but if that's the case, he wouldn't suddenly notice as an adult either. It's not like he has ever visibly eaten healthy, and after seeing him eat recently, it's easy to believe that he continued eating sugary things well past the day he left home (which was well into his twenties anyway). There's no way he has a proper sense of how sweet something is if he grew up on that garbage.

This is to say nothing of the fact that even with the reduced amount that he claims he uses, it's still too much. He would know what amount to state in his lie if the air of being intelligent that he tries to put on in his pigsplaining there was at all accurate. It isn't, so he says a third cup instead of two tablespoons.

And, of course, there is the fact that he's going into this diatribe because, despite his efforts to make it look like he's doing so well that we're getting desperate for material, it's obviously because we bother him a lot when we make fun of him, and therefore anything he says that might make him look good if it's true, is automatically suspect as fuck.

 

[Preferred Penne]

That would explain why his teeth are so sensitive, from years of eating sugary garbage.

 

[tzgnilki]

That would explain why his teeth are so sensitive, from years of eating sugary garbage.

I remember someone analysing the state of his teeth, they mentioned he admitted to brushing his teeth immediately after drinking sugary fizzy drinks and wore out the enamel on his teeth

and it's probably the reason his camera is 240p, it'd expose his dead teeth

 

[TheGoutburglar]

and it's probably the reason his camera is 240p, it'd expose his dead teeth

And give greater detail to a number of other things he's doing a poor job of hiding.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

so his mother told him that she "eye balls the numbers and the ones i wrote down aren't really accurate" but started with those numbers anyway

It's worse when you think about it.

First of all his mother couldn't estimate how much sugar she put in so she said a cup. Phil says that he barely puts in 1/3 of a cup now. That's still a metric fuck ton of sugar. A tablespoon is what you should be using at most if your tomatoes are slightly sour. But a 1/3 of a cup? No there's something there that doesn't work. Either this is how sweet his real Polish sauce is and he's trying to do some damage control or he hasn't actually reduced it.

After all this is the guy that in his "Cooking With the King" series did a tuna panini where he added something like a 1/2 cup of miracle whip to his recipe because that's what the recipe he had asked for. Again, a tablespoon or so of mayo is usually enough for such a thing. Phil blindly follows recipes because he doesn't know how to cook.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

he added something like a 1/2 cup of miracle whip to his recipe because that's what the recipe he had asked for

Phil will be blaming that on some other relative tomorrow when he whines about us picking his lackluster culinary skills apart again.

 

[Muppetmode]

After all this is the guy that in his "Cooking With the King" series did a tuna panini where he added something like a 1/2 cup of miracle whip to his recipe because that's what the recipe he had asked for. Again, a tablespoon or so of mayo is usually enough for such a thing. Phil blindly follows recipes because he doesn't know how to cook.

Honestly, it’s not even knowing how to cook at that point, it’s just using your brain at that point. Like if you’ve done it before and all the mayo just fucking slides off the sandwich you’d think to add less.

 

[Iron Father]

The Pig definitely has a sweet tooth. Even his alcoholism is subject to his sugary desires, since his drink of choice iirc is gin and Sprite.