Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread

Sparkletor 2.0 said:
I haven't been keeping up with the streams. Has Phil mentioned what he is doing for Thanksgiving this year? Is Mama Burnell buying him a QVC turkey again? She has to, right? Kat is in too much pain to cook. Plus it's a family tradition.
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Why would this year be any different? Besides Phil is too busy streaming to cook a Thanksgiving dinner and Khet's culinary monstrosities are limited to whatever is instant or can be thrown together quickly and dumped in the oven.

Phil is totally getting his turkey from Momma Burnell this year. But this time Khet will be throwing it in the oven, not Phil. That's the difference.
 
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Phil Ken Sebben said:
Why would this year be any different? Besides Phil is too busy streaming to cook a Thanksgiving dinner and Khet's culinary monstrosities are limited to whatever is instant or can be thrown together quickly and dumped in the oven.

Phil is totally getting his turkey from Momma Burnell this year. But this time Khet will be throwing it in the oven, not Phil. That's the difference.
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Mama Burnell may be springing for Spamkey...

But we all know that Khet is drooling uncontrollably about all the potatoes she's about to massacre for the feast.
 
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Can't wait for another round of twitter photos depicting basic-bitch soccer mom food described as epic, kingly feasts.

I'll be fair, most of Kat's food looks at least edible, and I've definitely seen worse but they're certainly nothing to get excited about. It's the most basic, rudimentary quasi-home-made shit
 
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Phil Ken Sebben said:
And not one vegetable in sight. Unless she makes green bean casserole like the midwestern basic bitch she is. That's gotta be right up her alley.
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There are vegetables! Macaroni and cheese! It's a vegetable.

Tell me it's not, moron. You'll get banned so fast your head will spin.
 
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Phil Ken Sebben said:
And not one vegetable in sight. Unless Phil's mother orders something with green bean casserole like the drunken QVC shopper she is. That's gotta be right up her alley.
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Fixed - your original wording was giving Katherine far too much credit.

And I can't seem to find sides for sale on QVC's site, can anyone help me out here?
 
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Sparkletor 2.0 said:
There are vegetables! Macaroni and cheese! It's a vegetable.

Tell me it's not, moron. You'll get banned so fast your head will spin.
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Well I guess if you add ketchup on it that counts... kinda.
twattycake said:
Fixed - your original wording was giving Katherine far too much credit.
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It's right up her alley. You just throw shit into a casserole, bake and add crispy onions on top. Seriously for the "great cook" Phil made her out to be she doesn't appear to be very good.
 
MarineTrainedTard said:
Can't wait for another round of twitter photos depicting basic-bitch soccer mom food described as epic, kingly feasts.

I'll be fair, most of Kat's food looks at least edible, and I've definitely seen worse but they're certainly nothing to get excited about. It's the most basic, rudimentary quasi-home-made shit
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Compared to his mother's sugar sauce that she flicked cigarette ashes into and his own grease-soaked frying pan abominations, I'm sure she's probably rather passable.
 
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'Tism sauce is back:


Archive

We've already established that this stuff is a crime against man and God, but I want to know why the hell he's making a giant pot of the stuff literally three days before Thanksgiving (especially when the leftover turkey lasts two months by his own admission). He must either be desperate to flex or really sick of Kat's cooking to be making it right now.

EDIT: For Non-Americans, a fairly standard Thanksgiving meal would be stuffing, potatoes, green beans, turkey, and cranberry sauce. None of those goes well with tomatoes and cranberry sauce is much closer in consistency to a jam despite the name.

Funny replies:


Archive


Archive


Archive

EDIT EDIT: Added archive links. It's 8AM US Western time so they'll all be gone in 3 or so hours.
 
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Thanksgiving edition pig slop got posted on Instagram:


Archive: https://archive.md/yXnDG

Just from a quick glance it's clear that none of that is homemade & I can't even identify what that orange stuff is in the center-right of the right hand plate (maybe some really bizarre preparation of sweet potatoes?)

EDIT: Already found the QVC entry for the turkey, his mother paid $65.98 + S&H to prop up her son.

EDIT EDIT: QVC ships its turkeys in dry ice (solid CO2) and does not guarantee there will be any left on arrival. Dry ice only forms below -110 F / -79 C and sublimates (vaporizes without turning to liquid) above that, so the turkey may have somehow had freezer burn and been close to room temperature on arrival .

First of all, two plates and they're both paper. Remember that when Phil claims to be eating healthy or a mature adult.

Left plate: Those rolls look like the really cheap kind and the texture/shape of the cranberry sauce makes me think it was served cold from a can. Are we sure Kat is still around?

Right plate: For anyone who has never made mac and cheese, the only time the cheese looks yellow or orange is if you use the really cheap powdered cheese they use in Kraft Dinner and (educated guesswork here) the Fred Meyer's deli line; probably something to do with bulk quantities or keeping it frozen. The cheeses most people will use in homemade mac and cheese will be white or off-white and actually melt onto the pasta, not that weird clumping you get with deli pasta. I think the turkey was cooked with stuffing inside it and it looks like the bottom-left one was literally cut open to just eat the stuffing. I can't quite tell but might be something else besides stuffing underneath the bottom-left slice of turkey, and then we have whatever that orange stuff is. Sweet potatoes make sense for the holiday but I've literally never seen them prepared or served like that and I eat them pretty often. The stuffing on the side of his plate looks like it was scooped out of a container so my guess is that's also courtesy of the Fred Meyer's deli. Conspicuous by its absence is anything green.

To recap: Phil's mother paid a 50-100% markup on the turkey, he bought the rest ready-made from the grocery store, and I am not sure he remembers what a vegetable is or that there's such a thing as "too much carbs".
 
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Freshtodeath said:
I'm not just saying this cause its DSP but that looks disguating. Also what is that yellow shit? I can't even tell.
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I've been trying to figure that out, too. Is it mashed yukon gold potatoes? Some kind of macaroni and cheese where the pasta got so overcooked it melded with the sauce? Scrambled eggs? The world may never know.
 
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twattycake said:
Thanksgiving edition pig slop got posted on Instagram:


Archive: https://archive.md/yXnDG

Just from a quick glance it's clear that none of that is homemade & I can't even identify what that orange stuff is in the center-right of the right hand plate (maybe some really bizarre preparation of sweet potatoes?)

EDIT: Already found the QVC entry for the turkey, his mother paid $65.98 + S&H to prop up her son.

First of all, two plates and they're both paper. Remember that when Phil claims to be eating healthy or a mature adult.

Left plate: Those rolls look like the really cheap kind and the texture/shape of the cranberry sauce makes me think it was served cold from a can. Are we sure Kat is still around?

Right plate: For anyone who has never made mac and cheese, the only time the cheese looks yellow or orange is if you use the really cheap powdered cheese they use in Kraft Dinner and (educated guesswork here) the Fred Meyer's deli line; probably something to do with bulk quantities or keeping it frozen. The cheeses most people will use in homemade mac and cheese will be white or off-white and actually melt onto the pasta, not that weird clumping you get with deli pasta. I think the turkey was cooked with stuffing inside it and it looks like the bottom-left one was literally cut open to just eat the stuffing. I can't quite tell but might be something else besides stuffing underneath the bottom-left slice of turkey, and then we have whatever that orange stuff is. Sweet potatoes make sense for the holiday but I've literally never seen them prepared or served like that and I eat them pretty often. The stuffing on the side of his plate looks like it was scooped out of a container so my guess is that's also courtesy of the Fred Meyer's deli. Conspicuous by its absence is anything green.

To recap: Phil's mother paid a 50-100% markup on the turkey, he bought the rest ready-made from the grocery store, and I am not sure he remembers what a vegetable is or that there's such a thing as "too much carbs".
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millais said:
When was the last time he had a meal on non-paper plates? Must be years at this point
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MarineTrainedTard said:
I've been trying to figure that out, too. Is it mashed yukon gold potatoes? Some kind of macaroni and cheese where the pasta got so overcooked it melded with the sauce? Scrambled eggs? The world may never know.
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Mac and cheese in the back, orange = some kind of sweet potato dish, garbage ass "stuffing" in the front. One other thing to note about this meal....not a single fucking green vegetable to be found anywhere. No collards, no broccoli, no green beans, no brussels sprouts, no nothing. Just carbs galore.
 
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