Coping with a breakup thread - Help.

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Had a breakup with the woman I accidentally got pregnant for vaping while pregnant. We had had fights over this earlier in her pregnancy. She said she'd quit by the second trimester. But she's been doing it behind my back regardless. She also drinks (has been another issue for me; she claims it's small amounts for the taste, and I've had issues believing this), I've caught her trying to smoke weed before, and a mutual acquaintance told me she smoked weed with her; the gf claimed it was a misunderstanding. I tried talking quietly with her about this when I found out, but she refused to talk, and when I texted her she told me I "can't tell her what to do," started claiming out of the blue that the stress of dealing with me made her "need" to smoke (we hadn't been having issues recently), and blocked my number. I started screaming at her the next time I saw her and grabbed her vape, which she still had, from her hands. So she's been saying I "laid hands on her," implying I hit her, to her friends and coworkers, and bullshit about how I'm too intense and have "control issues" (literally the only thing I've tried to "control" or had an issue with her with is the drugs and food she's been consuming while pregnant; of course she's not telling her friends what it is, exactly, I have an issue with, so it's not like she doesn't know she's acting fucked up).

If she were struggling with an addiction it would be one thing, but that she doesn't care that she's endangering our child is driving me nuts. I don't know what to do. I doubt I can do much about her habits but I don't know if I should try to get in contact with her again and use whatever influence I do have to minimize her drug use, or keep my distance. Either way I'm going to fight her for custody as soon as I can.
 
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@Feline Supremacist, things are going good. I'm drinking less, focusing on my work and working out. I'm starting to feel alright.

Things aren't perfect. I've talked about this with a few people in dms and I'm honestly not fully happy or over it. But, I can't afford to be a moppy bitch. Life is still going on around me and I have responsibilities to manage.

A new hobby I took up is leatherworking. I haven't made anything I'm happy with yet, I'm still getting a feel for the material. I've also committed to going hunting for deer with an experienced friend of mine when the season comes. The big picture, for my goals, is to kill a deer to skin it and tan its hide so I can make a custom strap for my F-91W Casio watch.

I think I should be focusing on the big picture right now. I had large aspirations and plans with her, but now that she's gone, I can't abandon that. It's not my choice to give up anymore, I'm beholden to many responsibilities. If I'm ever to find another good woman, I must maintain and grow my high level of self respect and value to my community.

Wallowing on the internet was a silly drunken idea. I'm starting to feel alright.

Cooked Rabbit said:
Had a breakup with the woman I accidentally got pregnant for vaping while pregnant. We had had fights over this earlier in her pregnancy. She said she'd quit by the second trimester. But she's been doing it behind my back regardless. She also drinks (has been another issue for me; she claims it's small amounts for the taste, and I've had issues believing this), I've caught her trying to smoke weed before, and a mutual acquaintance told me she smoked weed with her; the gf claimed it was a misunderstanding. I tried talking quietly with her about this when I found out, but she refused to talk, and when I texted her she told me I "can't tell her what to do," started claiming out of the blue that the stress of dealing with me made her "need" to smoke (we hadn't been having issues recently), and blocked my number. I started screaming at her the next time I saw her and grabbed her vape, which she still had, from her hands. So she's been saying I "laid hands on her," implying I hit her, to her friends and coworkers, and bullshit about how I'm too intense and have "control issues" (literally the only thing I've tried to "control" or had an issue with her with is the drugs and food she's been consuming while pregnant; of course she's not telling her friends what it is, exactly, I have an issue with, so it's not like she doesn't know she's acting fucked up).

If she were struggling with an addiction it would be one thing, but that she doesn't care that she's endangering our child is driving me nuts. I don't know what to do. I doubt I can do much about her habits but I don't know if I should try to get in contact with her again and use whatever influence I do have to minimize her drug use, or keep my distance. Either way I'm going to fight her for custody as soon as I can.
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Fuck dude, that's horrible. I hope the kid comes out alright and I hope you win the custody battle. Focus on your work, it's healthy for men.
 
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Ughubughughughughughghlug said:
You left out the highest form of love, man-cat love.
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I imagine any random thot touching my cat and I shit and skid. It's a good litmus test in post-nut sobriety.
Sneedium said:
You are experiencing a form of limerance over the loss of your girlfriend. It's probably 70% Uncertainty + 30% Hope. She is probably all you can think about, and you probably feel like shit and have a hard time sleeping and eating. Part of you thinks it's over, and maybe a small part of you thinks she will come back.
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Love is an addiction like any other, and there are few ways to break it other than cold turkey. That's why you end up with 5 years of no sex and just being friends. I've been around a lot of online teenage relationships and I saw a lot of people who were addicted to the high of a new world opening as they 'date' a new person, or the emotional cheating they don't have to put a lid on now that they're single.

I think it's why women primarily often sideline their career to land a new hubby. Bored, broke, unfulfilled? Land a new man, maybe he'll fill some of those holes. And the other holes. Men? You made your bed: Kill yourself in it. You're the variable in all relationships unless you find a breadwinning dommy mommy who's okay with you being her inferior. Men got no alternative paths not immediately dependant on their primary. I work alongside nurses and they make fuck all but all live in mansions. Why? CEOs love to be able to say "i married a nurse".
 
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