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Human females are the most vile, abhorrent, and disgusting creatures on Earth and they should not exist. Here’s my rant on why I feel this way. Does anyone else agree with me?​

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I think the human female is the most vile and despicable creature on Earth. Here’s why. Females are very ugly. They age like milk and look like witches as they get older and develop stretch marks, saggy tits, and cellulite as they age and have the worst type of skin. They have blubby weird looking bodies which look fat and not very muscular compared to men. They have fat in weird places like their hips, thighs, and chest. The fact that they are thicker thighs and curvier hips and fatter waists looks really gross. They are also shorter, smaller, and weaker and have a less complex form compared to the male form. Their bodies are smaller and more delicate and they look weak and fragile as fuck. Females just look like children when they are a young adult, but extremely old when they age. They have two weird lumps of fat on their chest which look disgusting. The worst part of the female body is probably the vagina.
Vaginas are disgusting. They have a foul fishy odor and discharge weird slimy mucus all the time. They look like roast beef curtains, axe wounds, and rotten oysters and smell like them too. They are very high maintainence and they have to clean them all the time, so that their pussy won’t smell like a rotting body. They also have a slit where you can see the slimy insides of the female’s internal insides which are near her internal organs. It looks like a black hole and Satan’s asshole. They also bleed every month and pop out babies. In my opinion, penises are superior to vaginas. Penises don’t bleed every month. The balls produce testosterone which make you stronger. Penises look asethetically better. They can do cool things like get hard. They don’t bleed every month. Vaginas get wet, but it produces a foul odor and it looks gross. If you touch a vagina, you will get mucus slime all over you. Penises are dry and clean. Penises are more interesting and actually fun to play with. Females have boring genitals. Men’s penises are so much cooler and more fun to have and play with. If you have a penis, you have the potential to suck your own cock if you are flexible enough. You can do cool things with a penis, but not with a vagina.
Masturbation is more fun with a cock and you don’t need to buy a toy. Penises don’t have a huge slit which exposes the internal insides of your body. Penises are lower maintainance. They are also less prone to getting bacteria, infections, and STIs. They are so much cleaner than pussies. With penises, the plumbing is more convienent and you can pee standing up and draw air pictures as you urinate. It’s easier to reach orgasm with a penis. I heard that you can have multiple orgasms with a vagina, but if you are man, you can also have intense orgasms through prostate simulation anyways. Penises are superior to vagina and straight men who worship vagina make no sense.
Females are also inferior to men. They are weaker, less intelligent, and have worse personalities. The weakest man can knock the strongest woman out in one punch, but a female would not be able to kill a male unless she has a gun and the man is unarmed. Gay and asexual men are blessed that they don’t have to put up with women’s bullshit. Females are more fake, bitchy, catty, cunning, manipulative, emotional, greedy, gold digging, status seeking, selfish, and cause too much drama. They don’t understand men in the same way that men do. They are confusing and don’t even know what they want because they are very indecisive. Women are coddled because of female privilege and gynocentricism and they use it to their own advantage by doing things like flashing their tits or crying to get their way. When a female gets in trouble by someone in authority, she will cry and guilt trip the person in authority as if he is the bad guy or flirt with him to get out of trouble.
Females are more likely to be incompetent at everything compared to men. Anything women can do, men can do so much better. There is nothing that women can do that men cannot, except for maybe giving birth, but that will be replaced by artificial wombs and eggs. Giving birth is a biological disadvantage as well since it’s painful, dangerous, unpleasant, can lead to health problems, and makes the female weaker, more vulnerable, and less mobile. A female is like a disabled person in her pregnancy state.
Females are less innovatative and creative and hard working than men which is why they are less likely to go into intellectually challenging industries like the STEM fields and just take easy jobs like taking care of babies. Females invented less things and contributed less to civilization and make up the most useless, menial, and easy jobs in the workforce that will eventually get replaced by AI. Females are more likely to be religious and believe in superstitions, so they are probably more likely to be homophobic as well. There are biological, mental, and psychological advantages of being male, but none of being female. Since women are uglier than men, there is no use for them sexually. Since females are inferior to men and bad at everything compared to men (intelligence, strength, creativity, etc), there is no use for them in society. Women have worse personalities and even created a man hating movement called “feminism” because the privilege they already have just isn’t enough for them. They are greedy and just want more and more power over men. Women destroy civilizations because they are too emotional and put feelings before facts and reality.
There is no reason for the female gender to exist. They are useless, but also a dangerous parasite to society. Because of this, the female gender should be abolished from existence and replace with artificial reproductive technologies to continue the human race. Women will be 100% obsolete when these things come into existence. The solution is to abort all female fetuses like what China did and modify all embryos so that they turn out to be male. All men should consider MGTOW. All straight men should consider celibacy. All bisexual men should avoid dating women. Gay men and asexual men already have it good. I do not condone murder, so I do not advocate a gender holocaust or anything like that, but we need to prevent future females from being bred and make society male only since men are better at everything. Does anyone else agree with me?
 
Please don't have kids. If you do and they grab fentanyl and Derek Chauvin chokes the kid to death with his knee while the kid says "I can't breathe" while babysitting then you deserve it. Piece of shit parent. But be real you would never walk within 100 feet of Derek Chauvin because he would scare the shit out of you and everyone else on here who pretends they like him. LMAO just keep it simple do not procreate. You are not meant to be a parent.

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So boys, I finally sold out to the globohomo and got my vaccine. It was a few days ago and I got the moderna mRNA shit and the first symptom was the arm soreness. Holy shit does that shot go fucking deep! Anyways, I went home and for the first day my arm was just sore. I went to sleep and the next day my whole body was sore and I had a fever and headache. I took the day off work, which leads to today.

I woke up this morning with no achy arm, no fever or headache, but I noticed something heavy between my legs. I shit you not, my cock had not only turned a rich chocolate color, it had grown a considerable amount as well. It was so fucking big, my wife saw it and immediately got flustered. After getting over the initial shock, she started getting really handsy, demanding to play with my new big, black prick. We fucked like rabbits for hours, all the while she was screaming for more. Later, we were cuddling in bed after some intense sex and she confided in me that my tiny white peen (if you could even call it that!) would never have been able to satisfy her as much as my new vaccine granted BBC. So long tiny white pecker!
 
You LITERALLY cannot escape the carb, you want some chicken? Breaded. You want some pork? Breaded. Everything is carbs and people are like, dur hur, why do I have cancer? We are really such a hedonistic people, we just cant get it though our heads that sugar and carbs are the main cause of cancer and disease, and we continue to eat like slaves eat, rice and grains, its fucking pathetic because the food pyramid promotes this, Oh we are all obese, we just cant fucking figure it our for some reason.

And now we have a huge governmental push to eat only carbs through a "vegan" diet, and its basically malnourishment and killing us all slowly, cant get over 50 nutrients from plants and bread, the human body needs cholesterol and saturated fat to replicate your cells, your brains are being destroyed as well as your bodies, wise up now or you just might wake up puking and sick, with cancer.
 
"Yeah, I guess someone could be so puritanical and repressed that they are literally disgusted by the mention of sexual body parts."


Look at you making things up, and putting words together in a certain order. Good for you!


Not puritanical. Not repressed, and not disgusted by anything we're discussing. But see, you don't really have anything to add to said discussion, so you think by calling me names like puritanical and repressed that I'll back down.


You're probably quite young, but you need to put some work into yourself. Calling people names only works until about the end of high school, so you have that to look forward to. You don't know me, so instead you resort to making up a version of me that's so evil that you can feel free to hate it.


That's what dumb people do.


"But anyone with any perspective knows the preference by a particular primate of one type of rhythmic sound over another is absolutely arbitrary and meaningless."


Congratulations on saying nothing again. Because your second tactic is just dismissing the whole concept of art, and taste, both good and bad, and larger questions, like what's healthy for a person to aspire to in life, and what's not... no, lets just try and burrow our way out of an indefensible position by saying none of it matters anyway, and we're fools to even want to have an opinion about the topic at hand.


Thing is, I love music. There's really not a genre where I can't find something wonderful to love and cherish when it comes to music. I love music.


And Cardi B and her ilk are nearly complete garbage. Musically. Intellectually. Culturally. Morally. Some of the beats can be interesting, but the image and message she's selling are about as primitive and debasing as most can imagine.


It's not arbitrary and meaningless, and that's a weak cop-out if I've ever heard one. Own your opinions.


"I don’t like Cardi B’s music and do like the Talking Heads, but I’m not so solipsistic as to think there’s any objective right answer to that."


You want to know how to look clever when you write? One tip is to not give the impression one has a thesaurus close at hand. A dozen different synonyms readily at hand, commonly-used ones, and you reach for solipsistic in an effort to look smart.


I get it. I've no doubt you're on the young side of life. I'm probably going too hard on you. And I'm glad to hear you like Talking Heads and don't like Cardi B's music. Very glad.


And you're right, there's no accounting for taste. Art is not a competition, and there's few things more subjective in life than artistic taste.


But some things in life are indefensible, as you'll grow to understand. And some other things need to be defended, which I hope you'll understand one day too.


Cardi B is indefensible, and if don't think the people promoting her mean harm to society by doing so, you need to look with better eyes.
 
I have an IQ of 136 (Formally Tested) have gone to the corner store high off my mind, dancing and singing except 1) I don't take my Premature Enlighteners with me shopping and B) I've accidentally passed off counterfeit 20s before and been haranged by the register jockey over it. But I'm also a Police Officer (former) so I just flash my badge and fire a few warning shots into the psychosphere before citing Real Legal Advice from a Real Lawyer (The God Head). You can do whatever you want if you A) take your balls out of ass and let them hang once in a while, buddy, come on and 2) cum.

All this could have been avoided if Baby Monkey (George Floyd) was allowed to cumm in time. But Daddy Derek is a devious dom. Now George is edging in the afterlife. It's just like in my favorite anime, "Shinig Star", in which the main villain (gay) is tricked into running into a time portal that puts him on the edge of a dying star, but just his penis is inside it and he experiences the destruction of his cock and balls for eternity. It was co-written by Harlan Ellison.

Just picture the sigth in your periphreal, giant ghostly balls full to burst unqeunched and trapped in the psychophere above Minneanoplis, watching the chaos, reliving Daddy Derek's punishment but being unable to cumm forever. That's George Floyd's fate. To quote famous rocker Eric Claption's classic rock hit "What A Foll Believes"

"He had a place in his ass
He never made him intoa giant robot
As he rises into the psychosphere
Anybody else would surely cumm
He's watching him go
But what a nigger believes he sees
The white man has the power
"
Every SJW in the world should wake up to this on their favorite plebbit or whatever.
 
I'm a walking stereotype. I was into the whole brony thing un-ironically from the very beginning. I'm fat. My face is repulsive and covered with acne. I'm autistic. I don't exercise. And I've jerked off to ponies for as long as I can remember.

No girl in their right mind would want to be in my presence for any amount of time. My roommate and I had our entire bathroom decked out with pony shit. Pony-themed towels, shower curtains, toothbrushes, toothbrush holders, bath rugs, and toilet seatcovers. We had no shame.

Somehow my roommate managed to get laid despite this. He's not as ugly as me, so his looks partially compensated for all the pony stuff. He dated insecure 2/10's as well, so that probably had a lot to do with it.

Normies like to think that being passionate about something you love is attractive, but holy fuck, that does not apply here. If there's one good thing about it, I've noticed it's easier to accept girls not liking me because who the fuck would consider me dating material at all? With my looks, and my hobbies, I'm the polar opposite of attractive. I'm a pretty hardcore fan too, I've kept up with all the new seasons and characters and all that shit. My chances with women get progressively lower with every episode I watch.

So go ahead normies, say shit like "I would date a nerdy unconventional-looking guy, it's not out of the question". Because if that's the case, I sure as hell am quite a catch!!
 
>suicide is a sin no you can't just kill yourself noooo you have to stay here
>you WILL endure masonic ritual abuse
>you WILL endure satanic ritual abuse
>you WILL endure sodomy via the demon-enslaved Catholic church
>you WILL take the mark of the beast on your forehead or otherwise you'll lose access to the banking system
>you WILL be programmed traumatically by cultists to become a computer in an MKULTRA program
nice reality we got here, hey?
Fuck this place.
Only a fool would think this isnt hell.
 
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>mom blasts me for an ant problem I supposedly caused and some moldy bed sheets also cleaning
>gets me thinking
>ask her why she bothers even cleaning dishes it is largely a waste of time
>I used to use disposable dishes and toss them under my bed cleaning them once a year
>tell mom that a bowl still functions as a bowl even if it is a little "dirty"
>forks still function etc
>she explains how it is unclean blah blah blah
The fact of the matter is that nearly all the washing people do of dishes like bowls is a waste of time because there is no point.
The bowl stil holds food it still works same as a fork unless the filth is causing your new food to taste bad there is no issue.
Why are normalfags so concerned over being "clean" they talk about illness etc but obviously you do not leave raw chicken i a bowl and eat out of it you just need to use common sense.

I try to just use the same bowl and fork I think it is a huge waste of water to wash your dishes every single day when there is no need at all.
Drives me mad
 
Upon closer examination, one can see how Bikini Bottom is an allegory for the destiny of Faustian europe. Squidward clearly represents the Apollonian aryan man, stern, cultured, full of the creative Hyperborean soul and solar aristocratic character, and yet there is a tragic aspect to his character, in that his spiritual and creative passions are given no place in the degenrate modernistic kosher bacchanale that is modern (((Krabs)))-run Bikini Bottom. Spongebob represents the Dionysian aspect of aryan culture- he is the unawakened gentile, who has succumbed to cultural marxist brainwashing. Always maintaining a cheerful, carefree demeanor, and yet fawning and servile before the semitic crustacean power structure. Patrick represents the introduction of the primitive negroidic blood into the formerly pure white ethnos- He is an utter buffoon and unproductive anti-social drain on society, and yet the good goy Spongebob has been conditioned to accept his friendship, unaware of how his own way of life is gradually succumbing to the cthonic, subterranean negroid elements. As I’m sure we’re all well aware, Mr. Krabs represents the eternal merchant himself, as while not only is he a filthy money-grubber, it is shown, in season 1 episode 12, that he is pushing race-mixing upon the racially unaware Spongebob by trying to set him up on a date with his ball busting yenta whale daughter Pearl. Clearly, this show was ahead of its time.
 
Do you have a source on that?

Source?

A source. I need a source.

Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.

No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.

You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.

Do you have a degree in that field?

A college degree? In that field?

Then your arguments are invalid.

No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.

Correlation does not equal causation.

CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.

You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.

Nope, still haven't.
 
June 15th in the year of Sneed's Feed & Seed[1]

Homer stood rigidly at the counter of the store, a bead of sweat slowly creeping down his temple as he grit his teeth together.
'You see Mr. Simpson, you've come to me asking for certain seeds for your farm, which would lead me to believe you plan to grow crops immediately.' Homer could feel the tendons in his feet tightening, as the suspicion of whom he thought to be Mr. Sneed[2] grew. His elderly tone was mid range and breathy in a slightly strained way.
'Now I'm not suggesting you shouldn't grow crops Mr. Simpson, but from what we gather here at S.F.A.S is that the soil PH of the old Simpson place was rather high. Of course we haven't specifically determined the level for some time, but upon last measurement it was around 9.6 when the reasonable maximum would be somewhere around 7 to 8, alkalinity of this nature is obviously quite alarming to someone such as myself who not only provides feeds and seeds to the community, but desires they find a good home and not be left to be eaten by the birds and such.'
The soil is old, but it belonged to my father and as such is therefore mine, de moi. The leaner of the two store assistants, both wearing blue dungarees and red trucker caps in the correct decorum for this socioeconomic bracket, or rather, the socioeconomic bracket one was perceived that they should have, pulled his pipe out of his mouth and then leaned back on his chair reflectively.
'It wouldn't be completely unreasonable to assume that you had managed to recondition the soil over time Mr. Simpson, but you've only been maintaining the farmland for the recent period. I'm sure a man of your means would be able to procure the needed fertilizer and tools, as someone who owns a state-of-the-art german vehicle...[3]'
'My....car was manufactured....in Guatemala.'
The more solid and round of the two assistants, green shirted, his additional weight present as a kind of soft roundness in his timbre, supported his colleague in his half baked description. 'Yes, but what my associate is referring to Mr. Simpson, Homer, is that a man of your income, that looks like he can afford Gucci loafers and a prime city residence in Park Avenue, while having the capital potential to recondition the acreage in question would not reasonably have the man hours available to create such a drastic change in soil PH when so pressed to do so by the limitations of seasonality.'
The warm breeze of the rural climate slowly sifted through the open doors and windows of the seed store, a pleasantness in sharp contrast to the stabbing pains and nausea Homer's empty stomach was causing him. Homer's brain was telling him to forget the seeds and simply buy gummy bears so that the situation could be over with.
'I am not merely a city slicker' I said very slowly. 'I apologise for any confusion, but I am simply committed to high levels of aesthetic maintenance.'

[1] Formerly 'Chuck's'
[2] From homer's limited interaction, it is unknown who "Sneed" or "Chuck" really are. In any case, as in the Holy Trinity, the old man, the fat farmer, and his fellow are all "Sneed", until proven otherwise.
[3] A pink 1986 Chrysler Plymouth Junkerolla sedan, with a damaged front left fender.
 
Okay, the last thing I'm gonna say unless I get bored again is that the only embarrassing group is the people here... You're quite literally all envious and incompetent millenials and boomers that are trapped in an eternal purgatorial circle jerk and thinking that it defines reality. Every insult here is extremely lackluster and underwhelming, especially because you can't come up with any insult or defense that isn't overused to the point of being said on every single page for over 70 pages. It's not AE and I's fault that nobody likes .online, but like I said on the official ED Twitter and not the failwiki one, it is your collective faults that ED has been dead for almost an entire decade. AE and I dislike you all and don't want you onboard to recreate ED because you're old, stupid, and have no semblance of loyalty; plus we don't like pedophiles. You should really all go to therapy or perform a self-lobotomy so maybe someone can help you with your self-awareness issues and autism. Now instead of bickering with you hopeless morons, I'm going to proceed with enjoying my hobbies and packing to see my long term boyfriend (which clearly barely any of you have been in an actual romantic relationship and know the experience) like a normal person. I can't wait to come back to see more projection and stupidity for 100 more pages because you're all so obsessed with me and AE that you have virtually no life or friends, have fun I guess being sperg fan accounts and stalking us outside of the farms as well everyday LMFAO. Look inwards and you can help yourselves.
 
John Lennon's Imagine is a monstrosity. It's a moral, musical monstrosity in every- i-it is the cave troll of-of all that is good and holy. I mean, it is just-it is-it is the worst thing that ever was created. The reason why I'm bringing it up is because two days ago is the anniversary of John Lennon's assassination - very sad, people shouldn't get killed, and so everybody decided that we're going to replay Imagine. This is the single worst song in human history. I mean, this sucker makes Justin Bieber look like Beethoven. This is pretentious, it's garbagey, the morality that it spouts is just spew, it's moral spew, it's worse than that. It's actually - it's not just nonsensical (there's a sense to it, there is a sense), but it's so deeply immoral, and deeply evil, and yet i-it's put over this... kinda pretentious, these long, pretentious piano chords, then him singing meaningfully. And anybody who believes the crap in this song, anybody who believes the crap in this song, you should never have a conversation with them. It's a waste of your time, it's a waste of your brain power. I am not a censor; this song should exist. But, if I were a censor, I would take every copy of this song, and I would take it to a bonfire and I would burn it. Cause it's a sh-it's a terrible song, there's certain words that even I won't say here. It is a garbage song.
 
You're not going to lie? Thank goodness you told us, because until you told us you weren't going to lie we were going to assume this post, this post you made here on an anonymous coracle construction yard, a post that is bereft of consequence and accountability was in fact made in bad faith. A sham. A farce. We would not have believed it, we would have assumed it to be a trick. But fortunately you prepended your most portentous post with the clarion call of truthiness, for had you not it would have been lost in this melee of malarkey. Knowing that it is but the honest truth the fruit of your mind has been mentally, preserved, cocooned, swaddled for generations accounted to be. Tales of your virtuousness will echo down the river-valley of history. Parents to be will describe to their smallest a hero gilt in the goodness of truth, who was unshakeable, steadfast, honest in thought and motion. When the last night falls on the race of man it shall be known that you, ______, did not lie. Bravo
 
all modern Romanian patriotism is a fiction, there is no reason for a Romanian to be proud of his country. Name one modern war his country has won that wasn't a landgrab. His countries entire history is that of being buttfucked by roaches and ruskies The Romanian is incapable of fighting war and has not a shred of honour, he walked into Bulgarian lands while they were busy shitting on the Serbs and Greeks. He backstabbed the Austrians trying to take Transylvania and then promptly got his ass handed to him by the Bulgarians, sued for peace, then rejoined the war 1 day before it ended to grab land he hadnt earned. fast forward 20 years, he let his Serbian and Czech friends get butt fucked by Germany and then bent over and let his land get taken from him without a fight, and then he got the Germans encircled at Stalingrad because of his weak pathetic excuse of warriors. Fast forward to today where he is an irrelevant third rate power that cant even into Moldova. tldr the Romanian is weak, doesnt have a shred of honour, is horrible at warfare and is a tool for powers greater than he. They are the niggers of Eastern Europe, completely worthless. If I was born Romanian, I would have jumped off a bridge the instant I learned to walk. Transylvania may not be fully Hungarian, but the Romanians sure as hell dont deserve it.
 
That's funny, Luigi - you know, I've always thought you were a funny guy. I mighta got the brains, the fame and the looks, but I don't make people laugh like you do, little bro. Just one look at that emaciated face of yours and everyone's laughing. Just looking at you now, I'm laughing, too.
You know, I haven't laughed this hard since I came inside Daisy, and she made this weird face... What, you didn't know about that? Yeah, after I saved her from that alien, I took her for a ride on my 'rocket', if you get what I'm saying. God, she was so keen, Luigi - I've never fucked a broad that was so eager. I barely had my overalls off when she threw her legs over me and started pumpin' her hoochy-coochy on my little paisan. I tell ya, Luigi, it was like fucking a spring, how she was just hopping up and down on my cock, panting with her tongue out like a dumb mutt. And - and this is the funny part - when I came inside her, Luigi. When I came, she made this face... It was this stupid fucking smile, Luigi. Like her mind went blank or somethin', and she was just moaning with her mouth hanging open like an idiot. She even drooled, Luigi. Like a dumb fucking dog, or some kinda retard or somethin' - I had her drool in my chest hair, Luigi. Fucking saliva, y'know? It was the funniest thing I'd ever seen, Luigi. I'd never seen that before, a woman just losing her mind like that. It was the most pathetic thing I'd ever seen - what a whore, am I right? I just started to laugh at her, you know? I was just laughing and laughing. And even thinking about it now, I'm still laughing.
Hey, what's with the tears, little bro? Hey, that's all in the past, y'know? I got no respect her, so you don't gotta worry about me going in for seconds. ...Huh? She told you she was waiting for marriage or something? ...You know, that's pretty funny, too. You just never quit, do ya?
 
>It is not everyday that the literary world would be collectively brought to their knees in shock and awe, even rarer that said Messiah comes from the Land Down Under.

>Uh, I would to introduce Mr.'RC' Waldun, his refusal to elaborate what these initials mean have invited some to fill in the blanks, some of them I cannot say in this program as they are *snickers* humorously erotic and degrading in nature.

>He is a Literature Undergraduate of Melbourne University, after shifting from his previous university where he studied Physics, as he felt that his passions absolutely must lie in the art of writing proses and not in the art of writing notes *grins*.

>He has many critics as he has disciples, yes he is indeed the new Robespierre with his revoution being 'Dark Academia' which he claims is the ,*cough* *cough* excuse me, Modern Renaissance, his 'revolution' is propelled by the *grins widely* wonderful proses and stunning characters of his works, like Arthur Forrest of The Learned Disguise which has been described as a Love Lettter to the Classics of 'Jamie Joyce' and 'Brother 'Speare'.

>I would like to begin this interview by asking Mr Waldun on why he thinks Dark Academia is the Modern Renaissance and on his latest upcoming work, L'Académie and how he feels about the recent responses to his character, whether with malice or adoration.
 
A twist of fate finds me in Darkest Sierra Leone. I had no money, no clothes, and no hope. I walk the streets of Freetown a stranger in a strange land.
Down on my luck and without a prayer, do as any red blooded Sierra Leonean man would do-- I knock down a whole jug of expired Black Booster Whiskey.
It tastes like battery acid and warm Calpico. But it kicks harder than the picture of a horse they stole from Google Images.
I fall into a deep stupor.
The strange alchemy whisks me away to the dreamtime. The everywhen.
A place and time beyond place and time.
A primordial slumberscape of my own mind, marked by the totem of the black mustang.
That horse-- the ferryman who whisked me away to this strange land. He manifests before me. He calls out to me with his imponderable horsey call. I orbit him, his virility like electromagnetic waves. I see his horsehood, and he sees my humanhood.
I'm not even a furfag, and I'm not gay. But I'm entranced. His perfect, muscular orbs that house the trillion swimming tadpoles that will become every horse on Earth. All that will be and all that came before. His fat donut slick with sweat, begging me to give it a deep kiss.
To call it arousal is like calling the ocean wet. And I'm not even gay.
 
SPESS MEHREENS! TODAY, THE CUSTOMERS ARE AT OUR DOORS! WE KNOW OUR BURGERS, AND WE WILL COOK THEM! WE FRY FOR OUR HONAH AS BLUD REVENS, AS SPESS MEHREENS, AND WE FRY IN THE NAME OF THE EMPRAH!

IF WE FEHL AN ORDAH, WE WILL MAKE IT AGAIN AND GIVE A DISCOUNT! BUT WE WILL NOT FEHL, NO, IT IS THE CUSTOMER WHO WILL TASTE OUR DELICIOUS EMPRAH BURGAHS.

AS YOU KNOW, MOST OF OUR BATTLE BURGERS ARE STORED IN SPESS, PREPARED TO DEEP FRY! OUR LARDERS HAVE BEEN PREPARED SHOULD THE CUSTOMERS BE SO BOLD AND FOOLISH TO COME BACK FOR SECONDS! WE HAVE PLACED MULTIPLE FRYCOOKS ALLOWING FOR MULTIPLE, SIMMULTANEUS DEVAHSTATING DEEP FRIES.

THE CODEX CLOGGEDARTERIES NEMES THIS MANUVAH HEART PAIN! WE WILL DESCEND UPON THE BURGAHS, AND OVERWHELM THEM, LEAVE NONE UNFRIED! MEANWHILE, OUR CASHIERS WILL ENSURE THE DEFENSE OF OUR HEADQUARTERS!

WE ARE THE SPESS MEHREENS! WE ARE THE EMPRAH'S FRYCOOKS!
 
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