Copypasta thread - Mmmm pasta

[Filthyphil]

If you wear a mask or got the experimental vaccine, you're a dumb fuck scared pussy sheep.
You literal brain dead monkeys Programmed into oppressing yourselves. Learn your fucking history you farm animals. Your government doesn't care about you, they want you enslaved. Safety over freedom. Such a simple tactic you morons fell for. Order out of chaos. Problem, reaction, solution. Human rights and freedom is being hijacked due to clueless brainwashed cattle who think they are in the right when really, they're in the wrong. Which makes you people they most dangerous. Useful idiots. Ugh wake up you disgraces to a good world. You disgusting fucking creatures. Literal sponges just soaking up everything the elite feed you. You've been fooled. You are a pawn, you are a weapon, you are a fucking worthless faggot dumb ape. Accept it, and fix the mistakes you've made. What an upside down world we now live in. Sick until proven healthy, guilty until proven innocent. You sheep should be fucking embarrassed you've made it this far asleep. We're now a society of faceless masked NPCs? What a fucking embarrassment JOKE. Mentally handicapped on a whole new level. Remember when u were promised you could take the mask off if you're vaxxed? Oh guess what, you got pranked retard. Now the vaxxed have to still wear a mask. Hmmm wonder how that happened. See how gullible you all are? Sickening. You are not in the right brainless zombies. You just loveeee Government telling you what to do. Makes you feel protected by daddy. Why don't you get buttfucked in your ass to while you're at it. You are not fighting for freedom of choice, you are fighting for government mandate. You are the enemy of humanity. Check yourself coward. People like you would be slaughtered hundreds of years ago. You're lucky society is so emasculated, compromised, and weak. I spit on you all. You are destroying your kids future. Shame on you COWARD

 

[Filthyphil]

Kyle crossed the border wall between Illinois and Wisconsin with a fully automatic Glock assault rifle 15-47, using full metal hollow point explosive rounds that he purchased at a gun show for one dollar thanks to a loophole Republicans snuck into the constitution. He then pointed the bayonet-end at Joseph Rosenbaum’s face while the latter was helping young children to cross the street and resist white supremacist heteropatriarchal capitalist society. When poor Joe tried to push Kyle’s barrel from his face, Kyle shouted “YOU THINK YOU’RE TOUGH? LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT I LEARNED PLAYING CALL OF DUTY!!!!” He then gave Rosenbaum a 10 second head start, but gave him the ol’ 1-2-10 count and shot 60 rounds into Rosenbaum’s back in under one hundredth of a second.
Anthony Huber, fresh from pampering his beloved wife, witnessed this interaction and bravely charged the madman with nothing but his trusty skateboard, which he rode everywhere to help fight global warming and promote a healthy lifestyle to kids. Kyle was sent into a rage at seeing this family man stand up to him. He pretended to give up, then when Huber got close he fell to his back MMA-style and shot Huber through his heart as a message to anyone who would dare love their community.
Finally, Gaige Grosskreutz had seen enough. He always carried his pistol just in case he ever came across Klan members attempting to lynch a poor college-going jogger just for being a minority. He ran toward Kyle warning him about the pistol that he didn’t want to use. In a show of solidarity, he started to put the pistol on the ground, motioning for Kyle to do the same with his military grade killing machine. That’s when Kyle realized this man was in better shape than him - this could not be allowed. He destroyed poor Gaige’s bicep in a fit of jealous rage, leaving him to try to dispose of his gun so no children were hurt by accident.
Thank God Thomas Binger is brave enough to stand up to this beast.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

I’ve seen you post a lot. I quite liked a lot of your posts to begin with, then you do a typical au contraire like this.

Look, some of us do real work. We have real fun. We spend a lot of time deep in the internals of it all. The fact you even post on this site marks you out as a bit of a shirker. Do you have hobbies? Family? Friends? Don't mean to get personal. I don't have some of those. But I do have a very serious life of the mind and some very serious work to get on with.

This is just a heads up in case you go to any dinner parties with professors or captains of industry or the like: Do not fucking repeat those words there: Are you guys slow on the roll?

It will mark you out as a fool. And I'm sure you aren't a fool, so don't give the wrong look.

I spend 8 hours of my day doing graphics, both 2D and 3D, researching new paradigms. Listening to lectures by John Carmack. I'll spend 8 hours out of my day doing illustrative design for various products I have that I don't want anyone else touching. I'll spend 8 hours out of my day researching new tech in audio. I'll spend another 8 hours actually using it, testing it. Then I'll spend another 8 hours out of that very same day, actually using the tech to make music. Real music. I will then proceed to spend another few hours writing it all up and teaching and educating other people about the tech I just learned about.

I'll spend 8 hours out of my day setting up websites, doing back end shit like CGI and Java and algorithms! Eh eh . Josh gets a lot of kudos from me. The man is a fucking machine. He could probably burn it at Google. I'd be surprised if he's not already been head hunted. WTF.

Then I'l spend another few hours cooking, cleaning, looking after family. Not many hours left if you like to play a few hours on the old guitar or bass or keys or drums either. I try to fit it all in.

Phew, lad. That's a lot of hours in the day. Where the fuck do I find the time to research the latest HDD tech too? That and wanking myself half to death as well. It all adds up.

Don't mark people out as a fool, son. It only marks you out as a fool. I know people who ride bush planes over parts of the USA you never knew existed, all the while creating disruptive technology for the CIA and FBI. People who have hit records. And who sell their art to rich fuckers for 100's of a K at a time. And they are all the same person. Plus, they really do exist.

When you study hard and become a good student (that's all I am) and you sometimes get to sit at the Professor's table and break bread and drink wine, you realise no one is an expert. The more advanced and specialised your field of study, the more ignorant you are about other matters.

This is where you just marked yourself out as a chancer. You didn't know that. Because you don't study any particular field of research to that degree, or conversely, you are not so much of a 'generalist' (as I am) that you knew that to be a given fact on first principles.

Are you guys slow on the roll?

No, good buddy, we are fast burning, and you can't keep up.

Citing an article from a year ago about the very same subject does not a master make.

Contribute, good fren, add something to the argument. Maybe a paragraph at least.

Until then, you'll be like 90 percent of the internet: convincing me not to post anymore, to not partake in this fucking bullshit.

And I ain't even mad bro'.

I'm just about to 'go dark'. The internet is a failed experiment for me. I'm becoming more confrontational with people like you. But it's ok. I've got my work.

I already know the 3 major ways you will react. And within those three ways, I know which gambit you will take.

I spent many hours writing that essay, and you just shat all over it. And I'm not even mad. Because I know that KF is not a place where really (and I mean fucking REALLY) tech savvy people go to talk about computers. It could be. But because of people like you and OP, it's not.

Did I mention I'm not even mad?

It's all so tiresome…

 

[Kiwi & Cow]

I stole several copypastas when edgeville was up there.

Spoiler

Hey Shitheads,

We the transgender community are not going to stand idly by while you bigots spew hatred. We know that you scum are a malicious hate group who targets Trans-women. A certain anonymous source told us about the things you've done to OUR community. We know about the efforts of trying to get a manchild to be trans to give us a bad name. We also know the bigotry that Null is propagating.

Cease with your actions or we will show off your website at the Transgender Day of Remembrance. We will not allow killers to be bred on your ugly website. Admins take down the threads of a certain victim and destroy that wiki articles slandering transgendered people. If those efforts are not done by tomorrow, we will send our team of tech savy actvists to help our cause.

We can't guarantee that your members will not be affected, if those demands aren't met in 12 hours.

Admins choose wisely or this could be the next stonewall riots.

Spoiler

Let me give you a run down about her. She is a slut who had me at 18. She is the sole reason I'm pro-choice. I'm hoping more whores that got knocked up at her age and would become stuffty parents would abort their kids as opposed to bringing them up miserably. She is 33 or something now and is single, haven't having her pusillanimous individual raided in the last 8 years. Of course, know that the last of her eggs are being destroyed by the body she's constantly in an angry state. She reminds me constantly about how pathetic I am about about how I suck the last loving slivers of joy out of her mind and how horribly unproud she is that I fell from her womb.

I want to kill this lady. Since she has no love in her life, besides possibly her own parents, and I would rather sit on this computer I am on now for the rest of my life than spend one more loving day with her, she has cats to add some bonding to her spirit. She speaks to these two cats like she would a room mate. Asking them how they were, how their days have been, and if they're hungry constantly. God forbid one of them meows back in response; thus ushering in an hour of goo-goo'ing while I mutter at her uselessness from the other room.

If my computer could pay the bills, I'd kill my mom.

Spoiler

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Reddit. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical reader's head. There's also Reddit's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into the site's characterisation - it's overall philosophy draws heavily from Marxist literature, for instance. The users understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Reddit truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Reddit's existential catchphrase "r/woosh," which itself is a cryptic reference to Orwell's epic 1984 I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Spez's genius unfolds itself on their laptop screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Reddit tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand

Also have some more copypastas.

Spoiler

What's reality? I don't know. When my bird was looking at my computer monitor I thought, "That bird has no idea what he's looking at." And yet what does the bird do? Does he panic? No, he can't really panic, he just does the best he can. Is he able to live in a world where he's so ignorant? Well, he doesn't really have a choice. The bird is okay even though he doesn't understand the world. You're that bird looking at the monitor, and you're thinking to yourself, I can figure this out. Maybe you have some bird ideas. Maybe that's the best you can do.

Spoiler

I hate furries. All of them. Every single one. Everyday I wake up in disgust because I'm living and breathing with grown people acting like animals. Those degenerates can ruin lives by just existing, and I'm sick of it. I'm tired of it. God, just thinking about them is killing me. And I don't mean that figuratively. I mean I'm actually dying. That's how bad they are. And I know you might be thinking, "What's the point on hating them so much?" Nothing, and that's what makes me mad. Knowing that my hatred means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Makes me realize that my life is ruined forever, and I will suffer eternally knowing that furries exist. I hate furries. God, I hate them.

Spoiler

what program did you used?
i been telling my computer lab teacher but he says me flash
I DONT KNOW WHAT FLASH ANIMATION!!

Spoiler

This game is a horrible. Very very a horrible. My daughter ask my if buy game for her. I talk yes. Soon my hear is the daughter make loud sound with talk body part. I go room and she had been a the dead. This game kill. Very, very kill.

Spoiler

say no to Racism!

Spoiler

Yeah guys don't be racist! Be like me
I love all races even the bad ones

Spoiler

kiwi (n.)​

type of flightless bird of New Zealand, 1835, from Maori kiwi, said to be of imitative origin. As slang for "a New Zealander" (originally especially a soldier) it is attested from 1918. The kiwi fruit (Actinia chinesis), was so called in U.S. from c. 1966 when it was imported there, but it is known in New Zealand as Chinese gooseberry (1925).

 

[Haffhart]

(To the tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic" )

Gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
They ain't gonna loot no more!

A manlet wigger douchebag screamed aloud "shoot me nigga!"
The patriot, unbothered, kept his finger off the trigger
The wiggers words were shovels and he was his own grave digger
They ain't gonna loot no more!

gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
They ain't gonna loot no more!

The wigger saw the Young Man and went to invade his space
The Young Man backed away but it was clear he'd lose this race
He swung the barrel up and unloaded in the fucker's face
They ain't gonna loot no more!

gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
They ain't gonna loot no more!

He tried to get away but Antifa knocked him to the ground
A group of lefty cowards hit the Young Man while he's down
He'd had enough of this shit so he swung his barrel 'round
They ain't gonna loot no more!

gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
They ain't gonna loot no more!

An faggot with a skateboard tried to take his gun away
His effort was rewarded making this his final day
"I hope there's onions in hell" he thought as he staggered away
They ain't gonna loot no more!

A basedboy faked surrender and then tried to do him harm
The Young Man responded calmly, blowing off half of his arm
"This isn't Call of Duty" basedboy found with great alarm
They ain't gonna loot no more!

gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
gory, gory, what a hellava way to die!
They ain't gonna loot no more!

 

[Begemot]

>2035
>own nothing
>barely passed re-integration & spared de-servicing after the great reset
>assigned job at community bloc cafeteria
>wake up in freezing pod feeling groggy from monthly booster shot
>heating reduced due to ongoing climate emergency
>put on standard citizen garments & cafeteria uniform
>head to cafeteria & consume bug bar, soicaf before another 12 hour shift
>mess up a few orders
>couple boomers leave negative ratings
>social credit score dips again
>will never get better assignment at this rate
>leave cafeteria exhausted and disheartened
>ask minder implant AI for ways to boost social credit score
>it suggests volunteering for the global health services medical surrogacy program
>despite availability of anti-aging therapies, elders still often need new organs
>would gestate engineered embryos to grow various organs in batches
>reluctantly agree
>given rare morning off work for wellness center appointment
>printed neouterus & several embryos implanted in abdominal cavity
>supplements bundled in rations
>belly gradually swells as months pass
>people begin to stare and joke
>somewhat stretchy citizen garments become increasingly tight
>endure rubs & pats from insistent podmates
>teasing only worsens when navel pops out
>getting awfully sore durring long shifts
>crick back after giving boomer his wormdog combo
>"what's the matter? too many livers in the oven?" he quips with a smug grin
>"at least some of you lazy millennials finally made yourselves useful!" he says, proudly patting over his heart
>grimace & smile, nodding along for fear of more negative ratings
>getting fed up with medical surrogacy
>recieve notification from minder AI
>organ extraction has been delayed again
>two more weeks..

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Yesterday was the worst dinner I have ever had. I make a rule of not socializing with coworkers, and I should not have broken it. This may take 2 posts, it was THAT bad.

6 coworkers met at someone's house yesterday under the pretense of "Irish stew". I grudgingly accepted the invitation and arrived at 2 pm (when I was told to come). I brought traditional soda bread that had to be baked first. The host made a bit of a stink about using the oven when he had other things in there, but I told him I wanted it fresh.

The stew was still cooking and the host was already drinking alcohol at this time. In the middle of a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, the host tells me, "Please, no talk about politics. PLEASE not today". I said if more people talked about politics we would be in a better country, and he got very argumentative so I just dropped it.

I was drinking apple juice that I brought over and the host kept trying to get me to have a beer. He was obviously intoxicated and starting saying how maybe I would be relaxed and "cooler" if I had some alcohol. It was pathetic, like peer pressure from a high school TV show.

Anyway, at that point I became withdrawn and went for a walk. I came back right before dinner, and that is when the fun started.

He made "Irish stew" with beef, carrots, Worcestershire sauce, black pepper, hot sauce, oregano, tomato, and various ingredients. I started telling others that proper Irish stew should only contain mutton, potato, onion, and water, and that beef, tomato, black pepper, hot sauce, and other ingredients would not be available then and therefore it was a modern stew, not Irish stew.

We started eating and someone asked me about what I had said about real Irish stew. The host looked annoyed so I told him. He turned red and told me if I didn't like it I could "get the fuck out and take my apple juice with me".

I was shocked and speechless. He left the room and his girlfriend (they are unmarried but live together) apologized. Eventually, people started talking more comfortably and he came back and was brooding and drinking more.

...

The stew was okay, but not authentic. I asked him if he knew that mutton was on sale at a local store and he flew into a tirade, bringing up any small error or faux pas I have ever committed at work. People were trying to calm him down, and I simply responded to him in a quiet and calm voice, and said that I appreciated his invitation and his "take" on Irish stew, but it would have been nicer if the company had been more warm.

He got up and pulled me out of the chair, stretching my sweater at the neck. He was literally screaming in my face and had his fist up in a threatening manner.

I told him I would call the cops if he hit me. He then told me to get out and take my "fucking juice and shit bread" with him. A second loaf was still in the oven with 7 minutes left, and I said I wasn't leaving until it was cooked and I could take it.

He shouted at me to leave or he would call the cops ON ME (imagine) and then threw the bread out of the oven on the ground. I was shaking with emotions and told the group that I enjoyed my time with them but I couldn't say the same about the host.

It was a horrible affair, but I decided to make authentic Irish stew today, because I was let down yesterday and had a hankering for it. It is simmering on the stove and I plan on bringing it to lunch tomorrow, one bowl for me and some for the host. It will be a subtle form of revenge as well as a way to show him that I am a better cook and am the more mature, forgiving person.

Any other stories of hosts from hell? People who cannot act respectful towards others in their own home should not have dinner parties.

(the Irish stew copypasta)

 

[Begemot]

Yesterday was the worst dinner I have ever had. I make a rule of not socializing with coworkers, and I should not have broken it. This may take 2 posts, it was THAT bad.

6 coworkers met at someone's house yesterday under the pretense of "Irish stew". I grudgingly accepted the invitation and arrived at 2 pm (when I was told to come). I brought traditional soda bread that had to be baked first. The host made a bit of a stink about using the oven when he had other things in there, but I told him I wanted it fresh.

The stew was still cooking and the host was already drinking alcohol at this time. In the middle of a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, the host tells me, "Please, no talk about politics. PLEASE not today". I said if more people talked about politics we would be in a better country, and he got very argumentative so I just dropped it.

I was drinking apple juice that I brought over and the host kept trying to get me to have a beer. He was obviously intoxicated and starting saying how maybe I would be relaxed and "cooler" if I had some alcohol. It was pathetic, like peer pressure from a high school TV show.

Anyway, at that point I became withdrawn and went for a walk. I came back right before dinner, and that is when the fun started.

He made "Irish stew" with beef, carrots, Worcestershire sauce, black pepper, hot sauce, oregano, tomato, and various ingredients. I started telling others that proper Irish stew should only contain mutton, potato, onion, and water, and that beef, tomato, black pepper, hot sauce, and other ingredients would not be available then and therefore it was a modern stew, not Irish stew.

We started eating and someone asked me about what I had said about real Irish stew. The host looked annoyed so I told him. He turned red and told me if I didn't like it I could "get the fuck out and take my apple juice with me".

I was shocked and speechless. He left the room and his girlfriend (they are unmarried but live together) apologized. Eventually, people started talking more comfortably and he came back and was brooding and drinking more.

...

The stew was okay, but not authentic. I asked him if he knew that mutton was on sale at a local store and he flew into a tirade, bringing up any small error or faux pas I have ever committed at work. People were trying to calm him down, and I simply responded to him in a quiet and calm voice, and said that I appreciated his invitation and his "take" on Irish stew, but it would have been nicer if the company had been more warm.

He got up and pulled me out of the chair, stretching my sweater at the neck. He was literally screaming in my face and had his fist up in a threatening manner.

I told him I would call the cops if he hit me. He then told me to get out and take my "fucking juice and shit bread" with him. A second loaf was still in the oven with 7 minutes left, and I said I wasn't leaving until it was cooked and I could take it.

He shouted at me to leave or he would call the cops ON ME (imagine) and then threw the bread out of the oven on the ground. I was shaking with emotions and told the group that I enjoyed my time with them but I couldn't say the same about the host.

It was a horrible affair, but I decided to make authentic Irish stew today, because I was let down yesterday and had a hankering for it. It is simmering on the stove and I plan on bringing it to lunch tomorrow, one bowl for me and some for the host. It will be a subtle form of revenge as well as a way to show him that I am a better cook and am the more mature, forgiving person.

Any other stories of hosts from hell? People who cannot act respectful towards others in their own home should not have dinner parties.

(the Irish stew copypasta)

Love dat one, homey....

 

[Haffhart]

>2035
>own nothing
>barely passed re-integration & spared de-servicing after the great reset
>assigned job at community bloc cafeteria
>wake up in freezing pod feeling groggy from monthly booster shot
>heating reduced due to ongoing climate emergency
>put on standard citizen garments & cafeteria uniform
>head to cafeteria & consume bug bar, soicaf before another 12 hour shift
>mess up a few orders
>couple boomers leave negative ratings
>social credit score dips again
>will never get better assignment at this rate
>leave cafeteria exhausted and disheartened
>ask minder implant AI for ways to boost social credit score
>it suggests volunteering for the global health services medical surrogacy program
>despite availability of anti-aging therapies, elders still often need new organs
>would gestate engineered embryos to grow various organs in batches
>reluctantly agree
>given rare morning off work for wellness center appointment
>printed neouterus & several embryos implanted in abdominal cavity
>supplements bundled in rations
>belly gradually swells as months pass
>people begin to stare and joke
>somewhat stretchy citizen garments become increasingly tight
>endure rubs & pats from insistent podmates
>teasing only worsens when navel pops out
>getting awfully sore durring long shifts
>crick back after giving boomer his wormdog combo
>"what's the matter? too many livers in the oven?" he quips with a smug grin
>"at least some of you lazy millennials finally made yourselves useful!" he says, proudly patting over his heart
>grimace & smile, nodding along for fear of more negative ratings
>getting fed up with medical surrogacy
>recieve notification from minder AI
>organ extraction has been delayed again
>two more weeks..

Dammit I was coming here to post that. Not like anyone reads this thread anyway

 

[Begemot]

Dammit I was coming here to post that. Not like anyone reads this thread anyway

once we submit to the mark of the beast all time and space will end, sister....

 

[Haffhart]

When I was 13-14(I forgot), at a popular anime convention I had a dude sit next to me when I was alone in the back room of a anime seeing I branched off if my old friend group cause we all had different things we wanted to do. This dude was quiet for awhile, he started asking me questions, my name, if I like anime, slowly getting more personal every few minutes. I hunored him thinking he was awkward, the room was dark. Then after a pause I looked at him, he was older, like 20 lookin, just shorter. I then put together he was texring on his phone once or twice like he was getting prompts. Then he asked me age and if I was alone, I forgot what my response was but I just got up and left. The guard at the door who's supposed to watch the room was on the phone, outside the door non shalauntly I just had a panic attack while pacing the building making sure I didn't see him or anyone looking for me or at me with intent. I was very paranoid. My parents or friends never took it seriously and I feel like I over reacted. But I did make mistakes which let it to happen but really reminds me to look out for other people nowadays to know.

 

[Activelo]

You humour me greatly with your arrogance and contempt, a flood of accusations born from the poison of envy and smite of disrespect. I feel both disappointment and flattery these thoughts would originate from another player who has demonstrated one of a kind talent and has accomplished the impossible, yet is apparently immune from judgement owing to their reputation, do not think your words hold more credibility just because of who you are, being more well known and what you have accomplished in breaking world records and setting ones never previously accomplished, such as with TNT and Plutonia Nightmare. With that being said I will divulge my thoughts on the serious accusations you have set forth.

I won't address the individual gameplay scenarios you've highlighted, as the foundation of your argument arises from jealously, this is clear when you contrast my success with your failure, being deluded into thinking you should have surpassed these trials yet cannot absolutely comprehend how someone else can claim victory on a consistent basis, instead I will address my playing ability. You know nothing about who I am or my history with this game, I am exceptionally talented not only at Doom, but other oldschool FPS along with videogames in general. I make speedruns and partake in Ironman out of passion for the game, it is a personal challenge in testing my playing ability to overcome arduous odds, I play for fun, it's about me vs the game and I hold no strong competitive urge or desire to be known as the best, reputation and status are not important to me but having fun is essential.

Are you serious when you can't believe someone can beat an Ironman consistently? It's just playing the game without saving or loading, do you not have a fundamental understanding of the core gameplay and how to the play game correctly? Am I the only one who can play aggressively, with an intuitive and innate ability to bend the game to their will and not panic when in a dire situation, but with tactical genius aware of my surroundings and dexterous reflexes can act in the heat of battle and overcome arduous odds? When you highlight cases of RNG, I honestly don't think about it that deeply, I'm confident in what I'm doing, I'll make a risky move and hold strong with faith. I laugh at your baseless accusations of slowdown in reference to Stardate, I'm sure other skilled players such as Mrzzul and Nevanos could playthrough Stardate casually withour prior practice or saving and get just as far. Also bear in mind that I have died in several Ironmans before, do you honestly think their was demo manipulation there?

You also demonstrate your ignorance very clearly when you admit you haven't watched my Ironman demos in full, and by watching I do mean actually studying them and assessing each scenario, bearing in mind my experience and ability at Doom which is extradonary, not skipping to a random moment and making up fabrications based on your own failures thinking oh it's impossible, their is no way any player could accomplish that. I do make mistakes, sometimes crucial ones, this is also reflected if you studied my speedruns which are far from perfect and have flaws such as missing shots, awkward movement and poor dodging, however a key skill I have is not panicing when low on health or when the circumstance is dire. Well guess what, I'm one of a kind, no one can play the game like me, every talented player and speedrunner has their own strengths and weaknesses that make them stand out.

I am deluded when you suggest someone must have prior knowledge to stand a chance of victory at Ironman. Well look at Demon of the Well, he's not a speedrunner but is known for making FDAs both blind and familiar, he has an exceptional ability at conquering maps on his first attempt, the most prominent example I can think of is rdwpa's MuMe.wad. Does that mean he cheats? Certainly not, he's a talented player who obviously has a high level of playing ability. You also have j4rio and 0xfooba who have accomplished amazing demos that haven't been set before, with the former tysons that should be impossible and the latter UV-Maxes on some the hardest maps devised and speedrun movies of Sunlust. So why would you think my speedruns are cheated, when their are fellow speedrunners who have demonstrated extraordinary playing ability, do not stream and have surpassed my demos? As I certainly have never accussed anyone else of cheating, but respect their accomplishment and admire their tenacity at conquering very hard maps and goals.

I have not shown jealously or malice towards fellow speedrunners who have surpassed my demos but silently congratulate and admire their accomplishment, in some cases publicly such as when Ancalagon went back and re-ran Combat Shock in response to when I beat his old runs. I do not look at speedrunning with a competitive eye, thinking I must have the record and surpass my competitor, instead my view is a cooperative one, it's us speedrunners against the game, building on one another's ideas and talent when a new record is set, complementing each other's unique strengths and weaknesses.

My question would be why are you accusing and targetting me specifically? I can see from the depths of your arrogance, you believe with absolute certainty you are correct and I must be a cheater with any form of rebuttal being null and void. Well let me state clearly I have nothing to gain, why would I cheat at Ironman when I have pubically stated previously I do not care about winning or if a fellow player surpasses me, this is just fun to me. For speedruns, what would be the purpose in cheating as it's a personal challenge to me, I want to demonstrate to myself I've got the skill and talent to conquer very hard maps, it's about me against the game and I don't feel jealously at a fellow speedrunner who has beaten my record. I make speedruns out of passion and love for the game and not for admiration or self flattery, as long as Andy accepts the demo for DSDA that's all I care about.

I am not going to stream as I do not care for an audience and am not influenced by the accusations of an envious stranger. I only streamed briefly for a short time in the past out of curiosity, but it does not interest me nor do I feel passion for it. I haven't watched Twitch in over a year, I was drawn to it in my spare time during the short period prior to my first full time job after finishing my studies. My life has changed a lot in the past two years and their are far more important aspects in life which draw my attention, I have little free time as well. Also you must be very self-conscious if you honestly think one has to stream their demo to demonstrate they aren't cheating, that just indicates your disrespect and distrust towards other players with exceptional playing ability, you'll never be a talented survivalist like me

Let me make it clear I don't give a damn what you or anyone else thinks of me, when I am passionate about a subject I will speak my mind truthfully even if it means being brash at times, both online and in real life, I won't be intimidated by anyone and will confront them with assertion and confidence. I'm here for fun, making speedruns and commenting on subjects once in a while which capture my eye.

Thank you for revealing your true colors, seething with jealously and enveloped by arrogance, you've lost what respect I had for you. If you've come to your senses you will offer an apology, take a good luck in the mirror before you make such a disgusting accusation against a fellow Doom player, who has not caused strife and discord but shows humility and respect with a care free attitude, or will you continue this charade and repeat history, replicating the case of Okuplok? If you do continue to accuse, it will be solely for my amusement as I will not take you seriously and will likely ignore you. Choose wisely.

 

[BingBong]

oh whoa sorry bro i didnt know you were jelquing for girls in here sorry i'll get out of your hair unless you need help cause im really good at jelquing for girls so if you need help just ask cause like im REALLY good at jelquing so i could do it for you if you arent very experienced which it looks like you arent i just want to help you get big for girls bro so dont be afraid to ask me for jelque help okay? alright well i'll get out of your hair now haha but seriously please ask me for help i dont want you to hurt your dick bro cause it looks like you might hurt your dick jelquing like that anyway i'm gonna leave now so bye

 

[round robin]

In order to fuck a cat, you have to restrain it in potentially damaging ways to the cat. They can wriggle out of many restraints. There was one video I saw of a man fucking a cat. The cat's upper half was stuck inside a dresser drawer. It was closed as tight as it could to keep the cat trapped in order for a man to rape it. Considering how wriggly cats are, to keep it trapped in that dresser with half its body hanging out would be painful for the cat due to the pressure and sharp edges of the drawer jammed into both its stomach and its back. The cat was in obvious pain, screaming when he stuck his penis in. There's a reason zoophiles only fuck sedated or dead cats. Even without claws, they will try to maul you if you try to rape them. A zoophile who has claimed to fuck a cat has committed a very painful rape on said animal. A person who can rape a cat--an animal that will fight back if you try to penetrate it--might potentially be a psychopath. A dog may not tell you 'no'; a horse may not tell you 'no'; a goat may not tell you 'no'; a cat will always tell you 'no'. The lack of retaliation to sex may be treated as consent to zoophiles, but if even a non-sapient domesticated animal says no, and tries to defend itself against your sexual assault, it's rape. I would believe it's a sign of psychopathy to go through such lengths to rape a living cat. Every story you see of a cat having been raped involves intense trauma to the cat's genitalia that requires stitching at the very least but more commonly major external and internal surgery combined.

 

[Kromer Merchant]

I think this post is absolutely hilarious and it comes into my mind from time to time. From @super thug :

Imagine being so fucking stupid that you think socialism is just taking money from the rich to give to the poor. No, you fucking trash, that'd be taxes. God, you're really such a moron. I think you should learn how to read and maybe read some more books rather than writing the garbage that you do. Guess what happens if the US goes socialist? All our billionaires and millionaires FUCKING LEAVE. Why? Because they can. You think anyone that makes it to that level keeps all their fucking eggs in one basket? Have you never heard of currency exchanges? You could just buy crypto, memorize your mnemonic seed phrase (I memorized mine by filling a notebook with pages and pages of the words written over and over, then burned it) and now you're walking around with millions or potentially BILLIONS in your head. In your fucking head. You can cross state borders and boundaries WITH MONEY IN YOUR GODDAMN HEAD. The government can't track that shit or tax it, obviously. You buy Monero (XMR) and that asset is completely off of the books, it exists only in the most nebulous blockchain to ever fucking exist. It's washed money, which is why I don't like parting with any of mine. But I gave some to Null. And I'll give him some more soon.

 

[Inflatable Julay]

I need to tell you a secret but you can't tell anyone. You see all those victoria secret angels, super models like Heidi Klum, Cindy crawford, baywatch babes, miss worlds. Yes and all. Well here it comes, they are farters too and can release ones that will knock a horse out. All ladies are farters like men and you must learn to accept it. I have a drop dead beautiful serial beauty queen winner as my lady and she is a farter too. Don't be a dickhead about your lady farting and stinking up the toilet as ladies also to do this. They have explosive diarrhoea too as you can imagine. Dont make them feel bad about it ever. Dont make fun of them either. Many ladies are already self conscious about their bodies and its not fair to give them a complex about flatulence. If she farts and apologises. Just say that everybody does it and pass it off and dont even mention it even if it smells bad or loud. Carry on like you never heard it. Keep reassuring her that's it's okay if she asks u again and again. If you dont then she might end up getting sick holding it in and won't even take a dump when you are around and then she will get really sick. I know some girls that this happened too as their dumb boyfriends made fun of them. Ive dated many girls and they all have to crap sometime or the other and blow their colons out. My ex girlfriends are so confident that they tell me that they need to take a BIG SHIT and laugh about it and will never use another house toilet. They even tell me to rush home to take a dump. Reach this level of a women trusting you and then u know you are getting somewhere in understanding females well. Remember you had another lady cleaning your ass several times a day at some point in your life. If you see a lady going to a toilet, dont follow her or stand outside the loo as she would probably hold the dam shit in and get sick. Let her do her business and dont follow her. Even if she let out a fart and a loud one, act like you didnt hear it too. Dont give her a complex or remind her what she did. I run road races on a regular basis and heard hundreds of ladies fart and just acted normal even though they started or smiled sheepishly at me. Women tolerate alot of our bullshit and the least we can do is let them be. BE A MAN ABOUT IT AND NOT A CHILD.

 

[Inflatable Julay]

THIS ☝ ladies and gents is a JOE BIDEN supporter. And EVERYTHING WE ARE IN IS BECAUSE OF FKN RETARD JOE AND pieces of SHIT lime this dude.....are still blaming Trump. What a FKN JOKE. JOE WILL CONTINUE TO FK UP THIS COUNTRY AMD IT NUMBNUTTS LIKE THIS IDIOT WHO BLAME OTHERS FOR IT. what a fkn joke !!!!!!!!!!! I bet this idiot let's his little girl use the restroom with trannies

 

[Lammy]

I love bees caused me to have a mental breakdown back in the day. One of the most stressful times of my life and I walked over to a coworker who had been following it. It was the day that the GPS coordinates dropped and everyone was trying to figure out what they were. He told me that there were 135,000 bee related incidents in the US and that they correlated to the GPS coordinates (this was a wrong theory but it was believed at the time).

All of a sudden I realized that everything I was stressed about was completely stupid and unnecessary BS that the military was putting us through just to occupy our time. I'd been actually trying to do good work while this guy just spent all his time fucking around reading about bees. None of my tasks mattered, none of them were going to help anyone, and none of the training I'd been receiving was sinking in.

My brain just couldn't handle it and I wound up crying/laughing under a desk for a few hours after that. Whenever someone would try to talk to me I would just tell them that there were 135,000 bee related incidents in the US. If I recall correctly I was 'strongly encouraged' to take a psych evaluation the following week. They essentially told me that I had an unrealistic expectation of the world to make sense.

 

[benutz]

OG copypasta - you can find out where it's from yourself.


Hey shitbrains, you mean the forums that you're on right now? Reading your rant, one would think that you're too good to be here but yet here you are. You received a warning for that and if I ever see another comment like that from you again I'll throw your ass out of here so quick it'll make your head spin. You guys should care, if only for the reason of self-preservation but apparently you're too dimwitted to comprehend that because though it may seem like I'm here talking to you for their benefit, I'm actually here talking to you for yours. If people continue to go against their completely reasonable wishes they will simply make their own decisions and in the future, there will be no cracks to compare. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Everyone makes their choices but then be accountable that the ultimate destination of those choices is a place with no more releases. People got the mouthing off part down, yet when it comes time to deal with the repercussions of said mouthing off they seem somewhat less capable. Then all we hear are things like where's R2R? We need you HEXWARS and R2R. The irony is that, in the end, it's not me that's gonna get fucked...it's you. What we do, we do only to ourselves. I'm a free man, I don't need this. I could never see another release from them again and I'd still be grateful for all that they've given me, having never even met me face to face they've found a way to touch my life and offered me a way to reach for the stars and for that I am eternally in their debt. My respect for the teams doesn't hinge on what they've done for me lately or if they've asked me for a simple favor to show their releases the same respect that they showed me when they shared them. When a friend asks me for something, especially something reasonable, I don't even pick apart whether they have a right to ask for it...I simply shut the fuck up and do it. That's what a friend does, much less one that's had his ass wiped for more than a decade. It's really as simple as that and I'd have to be a complete imbecile to not do so when my own interests are at stake.

 

[Begemot]

Listen up white dogs, Shia Islam is back and stronger than ever. There is NOTHING standing in the way of Shia Islam conquering the entire globe and here is why.
No doubt you pathetic kuffar dogs have heard about the brave Sayyid Ebrahim Raisi's victory over the US led Globohomo Coalition in Iran all praise to Allah. Do you really believe Sayyid Ebrahim Raisi could have done this with any other ideology? Can you dogs imagine Chr*stain warriors, J*wish warriors, Bh*ddist warriors, Sunni warriors or even Ath*ist warriors completing such a feat? This is why Shia Islam will win. This is why Shia Islam is here to stay. This is why Sharia Law is here to stay.
I promise you infidel dogs, you will all either convert or kneel at our feet. The kikes have bred you cumskin Infidels to be effeminate pussies over the last 200 years. Remind me again what music is popular in your kuffar country, autotune pop with some fat slut shaking her ass? Sayyid Ebrahim Raisi produce superior Jihad Nasheeds how the FUCK can you kuffar and apostate dogs compete? You have no strength, no zeal and no warriors. Even if you white dogs did have a small percentage of abled warriors I guarantee you they would rather join the Sayyid Ebrahim Raisi.
The W*st is ripe for Shia Islamic takeover by 2050 and there is NOTHING you can do about it.