Corrupt-a-Wish

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I wish I had complete, atomic-level, manageable control over any and all gravity fields in my vicinity.
(Psst @Olhelm , you forgot to corrupt the previous poster's wish)
Granted, but every attempt to do so ages you in proportion to the changes you make.
I wish there were more lolcows.
 
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Everyone you know is now a lolcow. Including you.
I wish board games were more popular than video games
 
Granted, but the entire world's news suddenly gets taken over by that bad boy of college journalism, Iconoclast.
I wish @WogglebugLover would hurry up and bring out that damn movie.
You become its biggest fan and start stalking @WogglebugLover. Within six months, you are served a restraining order.

I wish shiitake mushrooms were less expensive.
 
Granted until you realize these mushrooms taste like the first four letters of its name.

I wish I could pop some tags with only 20 dollars in my pocket.
 
You are forced to sing that song for the rest of your life
I wish I could think of a good wish
 
Granted, but you're no longer allowed to wish for anything, ever.

I wish I was Macgyver.
 
Granted but it's too much like McGuyver and you get sued by the copywrite holder.

I wish I could regenerate like Deadpool.
Granted, but you also keep regenerating your terminal brain cancer.
I wish I could create lolcows out of nowhere..
 
Granted but we're over-run with Chris Chans, PixyTeris and ADFs and not even Kengel could defend them all.

I wish JonTron joined the farm.
 
Granted, but joining the farm cause the quality of his videos to drop immensely.

I wish for another F-ZERO game.
 
You get another F-zero game appear in your aorta killing you instantly
I wish that George W Bush was a kiwi
 
All anime becomes highschool of the dead
I wish I could learn differential equations instantly
 
Granted until you overload your brain and become a vegetable.

I wish I had a cult of personality.
 
Granted, but the cult that arises around is comprised of accountants that exclusively wear beige. It transpires that you have the cult, but no personality.

I wish someone would offer me the shiny red button that brings about nuclear apocalypse.
 
Granted but when pressed it drops down furries in BDSM gear.

I wish Chris would appear on COPS.
 
Granted, but the episode is horrible, and not even in a so bad its good way, and it get worse from there.

I wish i could steal christmas.
 
Granted til The Grinch kicks your ass for stealing his gig.

I wish Krampus had a battle to the death with Freddy Kruger.
 
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