Corrupt-a-Wish

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Pepito said:
I wish for economical stability.
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Fine. You get to live in a communist country. Everybody except the upper crust is equally miserable. That's stable. Either that or you can live in CWCville.

I want Freddie Mercury to come back from the dead to tell us what the afterlife is like, sing some more, and give life a second run.
 
Wraith said:
I want Freddie Mercury to come back from the dead to tell us what the afterlife is like, sing some more, and give life a second run.
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He does. He magically reappears in Times Square, fully attired and singing his classics. Gets Queen together and release countless albums, fightig for the goodness of the world as most religions consider his return as the second coming. Unfortunately, he carries a dire strain of AIRBORNE AIDS that is discovered right after his live world tour. We are all dead... but groovin'!

I wish for a good metal band who doesn't sell out.
 
Dr W said:
Congrats, you see Amy Slaton naked and have sex with her. And you can never forget it.

I wish to know someone's password to any account just by looking at their username.
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Congrats you now have access to over 9,000 active/inactive accounts. Enjoy the countless hours of useless shitposts, cock pics and threads about what color Chris-Chan's shit is. How lucky you are.

I wish I had a hard drive full of clown porn.
 
Congratulations, everyone knows you like clown porn.

I wish for a pie.
 
It's a delicious pork pie, one of the really tasty ones with just the right amount of jellied fat and seasoning that make a pork pie just fucking perfection. This really is the king of pies, just, wow. Pie heaven seriously. I can't express how perfect this pie is and it's fucking huge, like the size of a god damn car wheel.

It's served to you from the Chandler kitchen by Chris using ungloved, unwashed hands.


I wish Lemmings for Windows wasn't linked to processor ticks so it played properly on my current PC rather than going at the speed of fucking light.
 
LazarusOwenhart said:
It's a delicious pork pie, one of the really tasty ones with just the right amount of jellied fat and seasoning that make a pork pie just fucking perfection. This really is the king of pies, just, wow. Pie heaven seriously. I can't express how perfect this pie is and it's fucking huge, like the size of a god damn car wheel.

It's served to you from the Chandler kitchen by Chris using ungloved, unwashed hands.


I wish Lemmings for Windows wasn't linked to processor ticks so it played properly on my current PC rather than going at the speed of fucking light.
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Your wish has been granted, the geek squad sends a tech over to see why your game won't work properly on your computer. The tech they send over is a morbidly obese man who reeks of body odor and wheezes in between sentences. As he inspects your computer he bitches and complains about how out dated it is and how him and his wife pillow can play any game they want on his pc. The smell is overwhelming. His voice is comparable to the sound of puppies dying. He bangs his hairy fist into your computer half a dozen times and says he is done. He goes to use your bathroom and takes the biggest dump all while screaming about his waifu. Oddly enough he got the game to work properly, so it was a win.

I wish I never had to work ever again.
 
Meat_Puppet said:
Your wish has been granted, the geek squad sends a tech over to see why your game won't work properly on your computer. The tech they send over is a morbidly obese man who reeks of body odor and wheezes in between sentences. As he inspects your computer he bitches and complains about how out dated it is and how him and his wife pillow can play any game they want on his pc. The smell is overwhelming. His voice is comparable to the sound of puppies dying. He bangs his hairy fist into your computer half a dozen times and says he is done. He goes to use your bathroom and takes the biggest dump all while screaming about his waifu. Oddly enough he got the game to work properly, so it was a win.

I wish I never had to work ever again.
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You are now paralyzed from the neck down.

I wish for a red dress.
 
Granted however you quickly go from being "Doxxing hero" to "That irritating sperg who doxxes everyone" and your life is ruined.

Ok here's an angle for an uncorruptable wish.

I wish for a massive dual cleveland steamer from CWC and ADF!

Make THAT worse fuckers!
 
LazarusOwenhart said:
Granted however you quickly go from being "Doxxing hero" to "That irritating sperg who doxxes everyone" and your life is ruined.

Ok here's an angle for an uncorruptable wish.

I wish for a massive dual cleveland steamer from CWC and ADF!

Make THAT worse fuckers!
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Granted but you're trapped in the same room with them.

I wish to be God.
 
DanteOblong said:
Granted but you're trapped in the same room with them.

I wish to be God.
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Granted, but now everyone wants to disprove your existence. You've lifted boulders with telekinesis, split rivers in half, ressurected dead headless chickens back to life and blown massive city sized craters into the Earth. Still no one belives you. You end up killing the non-belivers and are now worshiped as a feared and powerful wargod.

I wish street drugs were made available everywhere.
 
Congrats, but they're still illegal. You OD, almost die and then get raped to death in a prison shower.

I wish for twelve dollars and thirty cents.
 
Dr W said:
Congrats, but they're still illegal. You OD, almost die and then get raped to death in a prison shower.

I wish for twelve dollars and thirty cents.
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Wish granted, but the money appears inside your skull, damaging your brain a bit in the process.

I wish to have the best birthday ever tomorrow.
 
FataBataRang said:
Wish granted, but the money appears inside your skull, damaging your brain a bit in the process.

I wish to have the best birthday ever tomorrow.
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Granted! It is the best birthday ever. Every birthday that follows will pale in comparison to this party. You will spend the rest of your life trying to recreate it, but the magic simply won't happen, leaving you sad and unfulfilled.

(But seriously, please have a great birthday, and may every one that follows be better than the last!)

I wish senpai would notice me.
 
Vorhtbame said:
Granted! It is the best birthday ever. Every birthday that follows will pale in comparison to this party. You will spend the rest of your life trying to recreate it, but the magic simply won't happen, leaving you sad and unfulfilled.

(But seriously, please have a great birthday, and may every one that follows be better than the last!)

I wish senpai would notice me.
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Oh sempai does notice you. But maybe sempai notices a little too much of you. You start to notice clothing go missing. Things like chapsticks and old gum wrappers mysteriously disappear as well as chunks of your hair. One morning you wake up to a noise coming from the closet. As you throw back the door you notice sempai spreading lipstick all over himself and a statue he made of you using your personal belongings.

I wish for a pony.
 
Meat_Puppet said:
Oh sempai does notice you. But maybe sempai notices a little too much of you. You start to notice clothing go missing. Things like chapsticks and old gum wrappers mysteriously disappear as well as chunks of your hair. One morning you wake up to a noise coming from the closet. As you throw back the door you notice sempai spreading lipstick all over himself and a statue he made of you using your personal belongings.

I wish for a pony.
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Granted but it's a one-trick pony and it tries really hard to keep up to your expectations but it just doesn't happen, so it's also a sad, sad pony.

I wish the Slaton sisters had sexy hourglass figures.
 
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Granted, but all that extra fat is distributed onto a preschool class instead, instantly giving all the tots diabetes and heart disease.

I wish my life had save states I could just reload when something went wrong.
 
Next time you try and reload you find your file is corrupted so you're stuck for the next 60 or so years staring at your title screen.

I wish I had a well fitted Imperial Security Uniform from Anovos with a decent replica blaster.
 
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