Corrupt-a-Wish

HugMePlz said:
Nah, my life sucks as it is

I̶ ̶w̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶f̶l̶y̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶d̶r̶a̶g̶o̶n̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶l̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶p̶a̶r̶t̶ (:autism:)

I wish Donald Trump could take over the world
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You no longer have health insurance or a job. Neither do your neighbors. They blame you for it.

I wish for a Hina costume.
 
it dissolves when you put it on.

I wish I had 2 million dollars
 
You get that 2 million, because it falls out of a drug-dealer's plane, onto your head, putting you in a permanent vegetative state.

I wish I had pizza for lunch.
 
escapegoat said:
You get that 2 million, because it falls out of a drug-dealer's plane, onto your head, putting you in a permanent vegetative state.

I wish I had pizza for lunch.
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You get a pizza, however it's old, disgusting, and is topped with crawling maggots. Enjoy!

I wish Chris-Chan was my best friend.
 
Zach_Kun said:
You get a pizza, however it's old, disgusting, and is topped with crawling maggots. Enjoy!

I wish Chris-Chan was my best friend.
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He's your only friend. You move to his house, and gradually decay until you write and masturbate over new Sonichu pages. Soon, you are but a shell of a man, and gain a thread here.

I wish for three more wishes.
 
You get three wishes, but each and every time you make one you only get a rancid barrel of McJordan Sauce.

I wish Dr Who would regenerate into a hot ginger.
 
Morose_Obesity said:
You get three wishes, but each and every time you make one you only get a rancid barrel of McJordan Sauce.

I wish Dr Who would regenerate into a hot ginger.
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Stephen Moffat gives him another worthless companion.

I wish I knew how to drive a car
 
MrJakeTerror said:
Stephen Moffat gives him another worthless companion.

I wish I knew how to drive a car
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You can drive a car, but you are obligated to be an Uber driver in Gary, Indiana for life.

I wish Steven Universe would somehow write Charlie Sheen into the plot.
 
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Granted, but now there's weird Charlie Sheen shippings and porn all over the internet, and it's EVERYWHERE. There's no way to escape it.

I wish I had a sandwich right now.
 
You get your sandwich, but it's an assloaves-and-dickcheese panini with an AIDS remoulade. And you have to eat it, or the waiter will shoot you.

I wish I owned a bitchin' motorcycle and could actually drive one without smearing myself across the interstate.
 
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You get your bitchin' motorcycle, but in order to to ensure your safety, it's a motorcycle from Tron. You can only turn at 90 degree angles and your fellow motorists are vaporized by your light trails.

I wish I could play the renaissance lute.
 
Eldritch said:
You get your bitchin' motorcycle, but in order to to ensure your safety, it's a motorcycle from Tron. You can only turn at 90 degree angles and your fellow motorists are vaporized by your light trails.

I wish I could play the renaissance lute.
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Congrats you can now play the lute and take off to the streets below to share your gift to the world. The homeless skitsos, worn out crack fiends and the autistic all gather round to bask in the delightful melodies you now play. And one day you end up being bitten by a homeless man who has aids and you die.

I wish I could find happiness in a bottle.
 
Granted but it tastes like flat watered- down Bud Light with Zero Buzz.

I wish Diplomatic Immunity to all women I find conventionally attractive, even if they kill me.
 
Granted, but they eventually cause WWIII before Trump or North Korea can.

I wish I could have 2000$ a week for the rest of my life tax free.
 
Granted, but that $2000 is in Monopoly money which can only be used to buy off the blind and the insane.

I wish I could hide the porno of myself my friend that's lurking around online.
 
Granted. It's now porn of a fat, hairy middle aged guy and your browser redirects to it with every link you click.

I wish I was as cool as the cool kids.
 
Granted, but the cook kids are the Ku Klux Klan.

I wish to be the Marijuana Kingpin.
 
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