Corrupt-a-Wish

[Sable]

You get the recipe for a delicious cake only to find out the cake itself is rather bland.

I wish I had an uzi to shoot that dang yellow in the diner bathroom.

Your benefactor lives you an Uzi to fulfill this wish. Unfortunately they forget ammunition, and you're left using it as a club.
I wish the dog were quieter.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

Whenever the dog barks it casts silence on everything in its vicinity
I wish for a cheese pizza

 

[c-no]

You get a cheese pizza but its mistaken for another kind of cp that gets you arrested.
I wish that yellow didn't blind me in one eye.

 

[Abethedemon]

The color yellow doesn't blind you in one eye, it blinds you in both! Permanently!
I wish the Sense of Right Alliance had a tv show.

Spoiler

 

[Trombonista]

Cancelled after three episodes.

I wish for some curry rice.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

You get an entire planet the size of jupiter made entirely of curry rice on a collision course with earth
I wish for god to come down and tell all ISIS fighters that they are not practicing islam correctly

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

ISIS immediately murders God as an infidel, because psychotic religious extremism has about as much to do with religion as Chris does with Autism research.
I wish for a raise and a corner office.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

You get a raise because your corner office has windows opening into hell and you have to fight off demonic invaders whenever you go to work
I wish for unlimited wings and bottomless drinks

 

[Abethedemon]

You have unlimited wings, but they grow all over your body. You can't drink from any bottles because they don't have bottoms.
I wish I could teleport wherever I wanted.

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

You can, but it's activated by looking at a photo of where you want to go, even if you just glace at one. You become trapped in an infinite loop, wandering the earth at random, terrified of travel billboards.
I want a simple rubber superball.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

You have unlimited wings, but they grow all over your body. You can't drink from any bottles because they don't have bottoms.

I said corrupt my wish, not fulfill it in exactly the way I intended

I wish I could teleport wherever I wanted.

Yes you can but if you teleport into any space occupied by matter then you explode

I want a simple rubber superball.

It appears in your aorta and causes your lower body to be deprived of blood and die
I wish for Berserk to be finished

 

[Roger Rabbit]

It makes everything explode.

I wish for asoulman sempai to notice me.

 

[Dr. Tremolo]

He's now obsessively stalking every move you make. Screw up once, and he starts tracking you down to murder you.

I wish my eyesight would stop deteriorating.

 

[Sussuro]

Your eyesight stops deteriorating when you are totally blind.

I wish I could go back to ancient Rome and see how they react to modern technology.

 

[grilledcheesesandwich]

I wish I could go back to ancient Rome and see how they react to modern technology.

They make you the new emperor. Unfortunately, you go down in history as one of the worst leaders the world has ever seen.

I wish my arm wasn't broken.

 

[Lalala]

They make you the new emperor. Unfortunately, you go down in history as one of the worst leaders the world has ever seen.

I wish my arm wasn't broken.

Your arm heals completely but later in the same day you fall down some stairs, snapping your spine and leaving you paralysed from the neck down.

I wish I could play the guitar like Steve Vai.

 

[Abethedemon]

You play the guitar like Steve Vai. However, every time you play, a meteor comes and crashes into the earth.
I wish I knew what I was doing in the future.

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

You can see your future laid out perfectly in front of you, unfortunately because of quantum every possible future is shown to you in a confusing and mass of noise and light. Also at night you get to see yourself dying in thousands upon thousands of horrifying situations made possible by the many trillions of futures you could live but you have no way of knowing which one is your true death and how you can change it.

I wish I could turn into anything my imagination can create on demand. If I choose to turn into an inanimate object my personality and imagination remain conscious within it.

 

[GolgoXIII]

Granted til your ideas are stolen by EA Games.

I wish I had bayonetta gun heels.

 

[grilledcheesesandwich]

They stop making the bullets for them so you're left with useless empty gun shoes.

I wish I could be as hardworking and driven as Connor Bible.