Corrupt-a-Wish

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Granted, but Chris ends up constantly trying to convert OZ into CWCvile and is ejected and banned from the Emerald City for his new attraction sign.

I wish I had a new forum avatar (If I like it, I'll use it for a week)
 
your new avatar is something offensive and you get kicked off the forum.

I wish that airplanes in the night sky were shooting stars
 
The Undertaker fights Sting at Wrestlemania, but it's actually Sting from the Police and he gets brutally murdered, becomes a ghost and tries to kill you.

I wish life was more like Tolkien
 
Every time you teleport, one of your close friends or family members dies
I wish old melodramas made a comeback
 
Due to the popularity of melodramas, there is a rise in the deaths of women being run over by trains. :reality::reality::reality:
I wish i owned 500 acres of secluded land.
 
The 500 acres of secluded land are disputed territory in syria that is quickly taken by ISIS
I wish I could meet Elon Musk
 
He rapes you in your sleep

Today marks the one year anniversary I got diagnosed with diabetes so I guess I should celebrate with cake.
 
A cake appears before you, but its your least favorite kind of cake. There's alps no frosting and its dry as a bone.

I wish I had a new pair of rainproof boots.
 
Your boots are rainproof, unfortunately, they are not dryproof and they burn as soon as the sun touches them.
I wish everyone could be friends
 
Everyone goes into the friendzone and since no organisms can have sex with each other anymore all sexually reproducing life goes extinct
I wish I get a 100% on my calculus exam
 
You manage a 100% pass mark, however, it transpires that calculus is just a fancy way of mathematically modelling terminal virginity. You are henceforth forever alone, hailed as the patron saint of all things solitary and onanist.

I wish I could shoot lasers out of my eyes.
 
Wildchild goes back on her meds. She's prescribed LSD and makes even worse shitposts.
I wish there was an alternate reality where snack food is a quality source of nutrients
 
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