Corrupt-a-Wish

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Granted, but diving in causes you to break your neck and you die.

I wish the air in my house wasn't 70% cat hair.
 
Granted until you get murdered by some abomination and no fucks were given.

I wish Johnny Bravo were real.
 
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Too much steroids, dude :c

EDIT: brainfart. I forgot.

After I cured poor ol' Johnny, we will go to a theme park and have a great time. Why not.
 
@Abilene that's meatloaf ya cheeky bugger. You also need a wish to corrupt.

Granted but Johnny Bravo ditches you for hotties.

I wish PixyTeri would do battle with Chris
 
Granted, but Purplekecleon jumps in and smothers both of them in magenta and horsecocks.

I wish I wouldn't be arrested for slapping a cop with a trout.
 
Granted but the trout is secretly your dildo you call trout and blinds everything that sees it.

I could have a beer with Wolverine.
 
He gets really drunk and accidentally stabs you with his knives.

I wish unicorns were real.
 
Granted however bronies drive them to extinction.

I wish I could whistle the X-Files theme.
 
Granted, but you can no longer talk, only whistle.

I wish I could replace Null.
 
Granted but you retire after realizing you got better shit to do than babysit weens and cows.

I wish ADF was on an episode of COPS.
 
Granted, but ADF is the Cop and you're getting arrested.

I wish for fuzzy cat.
 
Granted but the fuzz creates static that shocks your nips.

I wish I could stop an entire room by yelling OBJECTION.
 
The music doesn't stop, though. Overruled. Explosion in your face.

I wish I had the sexiest voice to woo all the ladies.
 
Dr. Tremolo said:
The music doesn't stop, though. Overruled. Explosion in your face.

I wish I had the sexiest voice to woo all the ladies.
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Granted, but you are now 100% gay and therefore the voice is pointless.
I wish I could freely bang anyone I wanted
 
Granted but by bang you mean shoot and dwindle the human race.

I wish Beyonce would return my phone calls.
 
Beyonce calls you to inform you that she hired a hitman because your calls were so annoying
I wish my company would be really successful
 
Granted but you're success is being the first ever to fail on it's first 01.00.00 seconds in business.

I wish my lunch would arrive sooner.
 
Granted, but your lunch had already arrived 2 weeks ago, and is now rotting away in your fridge. You decide not to order takeout from any more phone booths near the Circle K.

I wish I could start a novelty punk band and write terrible songs about lolcows for fun.
 
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