Corrupt-a-Wish

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A.Shitposter said:
You get it but then someone kills you for it.

I wish I could throttle the internet connections of anyone on earth at my discretion.
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You can throttle anybody's internet connection, but only while you are not connected to the internet.
I wish I had Clifford the Big Red Dog.
 
You are crushed by Clifford.
Actually, better idea, you are crushed by one of Clifford's big red dumps.

I wish that I could rate things autistic multiple times.
 
The autistic ratings you give soon end up biting you back via rating ban. From then on, you get rated autistic.

I wish I had a big tasty Polish sausage to eat.
 
DrTremolo said:
You get my Polish sausage in your mouth if you know what I mean...

I wish Gaben attended E3.
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Because of his weight, while walking on the edge of the stage, he trips, and lands on top of you, giving you a slow and painful death by fat.
One week after, your ghosts haunts Gaben, causing him to kill himself. YOu look through his computer, and see he was just about to release Half Life 3.
 
Jumpin Jenkins said:
Because of his weight, while walking on the edge of the stage, he trips, and lands on top of you, giving you a slow and painful death by fat.
One week after, your ghosts haunts Gaben, causing him to kill himself. YOu look through his computer, and see he was just about to release Half Life 3.
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You broke it. *sigh*

I wish that Ahuviya was banned from all buses so he would have to walk everywhere.
 
Picklechu said:
You broke it. *sigh*

I wish that Ahuviya was banned from all buses so he would have to walk everywhere.
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All of his Facebook posts are now about how he is unfairly discriminated against because no one will pick up his fierce Latinx transness when he hitchhikes.

I wish I was a better bot lane support in LoL.
 
Crap. I forgot to post my wish.
I wish I could have an infinitely regenerating slice of pizza.
 
Jumpin Jenkins said:
Crap. I forgot to post my wish.
I wish I could have an infinitely regenerating slice of pizza.
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After 3 weeks, you never want to eat pizza again.

I wish I had a set of comedone and milia extractors.
 
trombonista said:
After 3 weeks, you never want to eat pizza again.

I wish I had a set of comedone and milia extractors.
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You stab yourself in the eye with them and go blind.
AN/ALR-56 said:
I wish i was a fighter pilot.
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You get shot down over the desert and die of dehydration four days later.
I wish that any food I arbitrarily deemed calorieless didn't affect my calories consumed and resulting weight.
 
APerson said:
You stab yourself in the eye with them and go blind.

You get shot down over the desert and die of dehydration four days later.
I wish that any food I arbitrarily deemed calorieless didn't affect my calories consumed and resulting weight.
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Eventually, you start doing that to all food. You starve to death.
I wish my dog never died.
 
You realise reading Marijan spouting the same bullshit for a thousand pages really isn't worth it.

I wish for Nick Bate to be sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.
 
Eldritch said:
You end up being sentenced to a few months in prison with him a few years later. You drop the soap.

I wish I had a pet conure.
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It screeches horribly all day and all night long, you never sleep again, and eventually go insane.

No, really, that's what conures do. The wish doesn't even need to be corrupted that much.

I wish I could talk to animals like Dr. Dolittle.
 
MasterMolassesAssassin said:
You can suddenly understand what the animals around you are saying, they're all talking shit about you.

I wish for every garbage can I touch to have delicious food and a cool toy inside.
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The "toy" is a used and filthy vibrator. You just ate food that has been touched a used vibrator. Have fun.
I wish MineCraft never became an incredibly popular thing.
 
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