Let's Sperg Darkest Dungeon Let's Sperg: Part 2 - A Quest of Autism and Lovecraftian Horror

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Outstanding stuff man, good to see me and my pupper are still kicking around.
One thing I do love about the houndmaster is that even if he gets afflicted, he's never mean to his doggo. D'aww.
 
Outstanding stuff man, good to see me and my pupper are still kicking around.
One thing I do love about the houndmaster is that even if he gets afflicted, he's never mean to his doggo. D'aww.

I find it very strange that this run has suffered only a single Affliction thus far (which Jaimas managed to cure in the field).
 
I find it very strange that this run has suffered only a single Affliction thus far (which Jaimas managed to cure in the field).
The ancestor and his eldritch gods and monster ain't shit compared to our patron deity:
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Ave Sonic Totem!
 
The ancestor and his eldritch gods and monster ain't shit compared to our patron deity:
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Ave Sonic Totem!
I kind of want someone to mod this in as a trinket. The Totem of the Blue Hedgehog. Gives a huge boost to Speed and Dodge, but also gives a big penalty to stress and virtue chance.
 
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With fortune, we luck out and get two new characters in our retinue; @Meowthkip and @A Random join our cause, and team up with @AnOminous and @lolwut to bring down the final one of the five bosses that got in our way.

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Prying eyes had become a nuisance along the old road, and so I undertook to receive my most curious deliveries by way of marine shipments. A sheltered jetty was accessible by a narrow stone stair off the back of the manor, and a discreet system of pulleys could hoist even the heaviest prizes up the rock face from a securely tied dinghy below.

The Drowned Crew are a contingent of smugglers that used to help the Ancestor acquire his artifacts. Once people got word that the Ancestor was working on some shady shit, and after the Brigands he used to oppress the Hamlet started becoming a hindrance, the Ancestor relied upon teams of mariners to ship in exotic materials, employing them to secure ancient idols, obscure manuscripts, and other, far darker things. This particular crew was his favorite, until they started raising their prices when the Ancestor demanded secrecy. Using the depraved Necromancy harnessed earlier from the experiments that created Tyce, he laid a hex upon their anchor, and when they tried to leave shore, the accursed thing dragged them to the depths - but as he used this necromancy, the crew refused to stay dead.

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Whilst it lacks a "true" healer, per se, the combination of Random, Meowthkip, and AnOminous can usually handle basic healing functions (and arguably will suffice until the team levels up further and actually can muster up). AnOminous and Lolwut handle the heavy lifting, and Meowth provides support, buffs, debuffs, and periodically stabs things.

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Initial forays go well, with the team quickly securing treasure and additional supplies. Whereas the Weald tends to be long and frustrating, and the Warrens short but brutal, the cove strikes a sort of happy medium; less of a swirling clusterfuck, with the only downside being the omnipresent tough enemies that do lots of damage even on Apprentice.

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The Cove has the worst trap in the entire game. These little shells indicate the presence of a tentacled lurker; if you set this fucking thing off, you get a crippling dodge and speed debuff that lasts for around 20 rounds. Only pacing up and down a hallway or munching an herb can get rid of this any quicker. Fuck these.

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When I first assembled this team, I had a bit of trouble because of its complete lack of a trapspringer - most of the time, you need a class good with traps - such as a Houndmaster, Highwayman, or Grave Robber - to handle such things, but in practice a Bounty Hunter works almost as well. For once, I'm thankful for my own oversight.

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In addition to basic damage, marking, and stun duties, Lolwut doubles as a bleeder, using his grapnel to damage them and inflict bloody wounds from afar. As he levels up, Lolwut will eventually have one of the strongest bleeds in the game in terms of raw damage, with only @KidKitty's Harvest offering any real competition. @Shuu Iwamine's Incision has a way lower bleed damage rate, but makes up for it with a higher success rate and much higher initial damage.

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AnOminous, meanwhile, is designed to kill Unholy-type creatures - very good for the boss we're fighting, but also good against these drowned zombies. When not actively going after the unholy, he's faster than Jaimas and a bit tougher, but lacks the raw damage output.

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Compared to the more balanced loadout of Cynical, Meowthkip carries more debuffs and support moves. Flashpowder lets her dazzle (though not blind) enemies, crippling their accuracy in a big way. While the Antiquarian is by no means a strong class on offense or defense, she's an amazing supporter and here, she earns her stripes.

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AnOminous benefits from psychedelic healing coral and now is negative quirk-free.

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During a particularly nasty fight, a team of cultist chain-stress Random and cause her to become Fearful, but our team manages to stall and after almost 15 rounds of work while Lolwut and Meowth keep the remaining enemy stunned and off-balance, AnOminous brings her stress to zero and she ceases to be Afflicted. The team heals up, kicks the remaining enemies in the dick, and prepares for the boss fight.

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I would make the general argument that this dickhead is the third-hardest boss in the entire game, and for good reason. They're a fucking brutal endurance match, especially for this early in the game. It has low damage, but the stress, constant party shake-ups, debuffs, and bleed that it can inflict, combined with its annoying self-heal can grind most parties down over time. Worse, it's another two-turns boss, so you know this is going to suck.

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The Drowned Crew will start the battle by summoning an Anchorman, and dragging one of your allies to the front row. The Anchorman will immobilize the first hero in line with its anchor and force them to experience the crew's horrible death. While the hero who is tangled in the anchor is free to attack, their stress will increase by five every time an action is taken by anyone, and the Crew will heal health each time in turn. Stunning the Anchorman can delay it and is a good tactic to open up a window you can pound the crew during.

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During the fight, the crew gains a massive defensive buff whenever the anchorman has someone wrapped, so your best bet is to kill the Anchorman when he shows while gradually whittling down these insufferable pirates.

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These assholes constantly apply long-lasting debuffs and bleeds that pose far more of a threat to a party than any actual damage the Crew itself can cause. It will also boost stress by asking you to join them in drinking, and apply a nasty debuff that cripples your offense too.

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But our team is canny and manages to win, though Random struggles from the sheer volume of bleed stacks she had dumped on her. I'm thankful she's got such a high death resistance because she hit Death's Door repeatedly during this battle. Still, the hardest of the Apprentice bosses is defeated, and with this, we are no longer quite as struggling with a race against time. Even better, we have our teams starting to build up their gear, and my initial level 5s are now all maxed-out gear-wise, with sets of level 4 weapons, armor, and equipment. If their skills can be boosted sufficiently before the fight itself, we should be able to handle the upcoming event without too much flair, though we're probably going to need additional troops soon enough.

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Back at town, @alex_theman has gone missing and @Techpriest clearly has some issues he needs to fucking work out. @Randall Fragg, meanwhile, who went out on a drunken bender, came back with zero issues.
 
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I love that my character's only real contribution is that he kills the shit out of whatever abominations he gets thrown at. Reminds me of Cow of Cthulhu., where my whole role was to see weird shit, freak the fuck out, then burn it alive.
 
I'm finding myself really frustrated with the lack of Musketeers on this run. I'd argue that it's RNG but even my other saves fucking had the things show up at least. Considering the fact that Red Hook accidentally enabled them for the PS4 version before disabling them just as quickly, it's entirely possible that I just inexplicably had them and then didn't because of a programming fuck-up. Nobody seems to know what's going on and I've seen neither hide nor hair of either the Musketeer or her unique trinkets since the last patch, so odds are good that she's completely blocked off again.

Then again, considering this fucking group didn't get a Bounty Hunter until almost a year in, the fuck do I know?

Back in the swing of things, @BOLDYSPICY! grabs @Ravelord, @c-no, and @KidKitty and goes after the Prophet, who much as he did when the Ancestor was around, fucking refuses to stay dead.

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This raving creature had to be silenced. But doing so proved maddeningly impossible. How had he survived the stockades, the icy waters, and the knives I delivered so enthusiastically into his back? How had he returned, time and time again, to rouse the townfolk with his wild speculations and prophecies?

We found that hacking him to pieces worked.

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Within the depths, Boldy leads our party on. This one's pretty straightforward, but our team can't get complacent.

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Skeleton Bounty Hunters and Officers represent the toughest opposition the Necromancer's forces have. Yes, these are basically undead versions of the Man-At-Arms and Bounty Hunter. The mace-wielding Officers are tough as balls, with massive defense and devastating melee strikes. Lithe and agile, the skeleton Bounty Hunters attack with spears and do high damage. It's increasingly clear that the forces of the ruins are getting more organized and better-equipped. This bodes ill...

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Our team goes to work, with Boldy hacking at the massive bone-head, C-No healing us up, and Ravelord violently dispatching of the Officer's escorts.

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KidKitty meanwhile uses the power of rock to mitigate the stress damage done by the Skeleton Nobles' shitty wine.

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Boldy brings the monster low soonafter.

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A bit later, KidKitty disarms the traps in the way so the group can approach unmolested. He's a very versatile trickster.

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C-No, meanwhile, has still got it.


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Another Madman encounter in the ruins, and he fails to afflict Boldy with his crippling stress debuff.

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We luck out and the bastard drops one of the best Music Boxes! This thing is going straight on Cosmos.

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More of these assholes. We're close now.

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...And here Boldy shows why fucking with her is suicide.


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We finally run into the boss. Of the various bosses that change between difficulties, the prophet probably sees the least actual change. His fight is exactly the same: 2 rounds of actions, always starts by targetting a row, calls down structural airstrikes, hides in row 4 behind a series of barricades.

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Unfortunately, his masonry bombs just don't seem to have the ability to connect today.

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Bit by bit, the team destroys the Pews this time (because it's 3250 free gold if you kill them all). The sheer attack power of the group holds firm, but the bastard's repeated blights and stress boosts are taking a toll.

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A subsequent airstrike fails to hit both Ravelord and KidKitty. The Jester was heard yelling something about Sheer Heart Attack having no weakness as he darted through the debris.

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Some time later, the pews are destroyed and the team is ready to give everything they've got to fucking this guy up.

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Ravelord delivers the coup de grace.

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Glorious. This influx of treasure lets us finance the final weapon and armor upgrades we'll need.
 
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I'm looking forward to the Radiant mode that's coming soon. One of the main turn-offs for Darkest Dungeon for me was how freaking grindy it is.

Any more room on the team?
 
I'm also willing to lend my name to your noble efforts after seeing one of the boss fights was literally The Thing.
 
I'm looking forward to the Radiant mode that's coming soon. One of the main turn-offs for Darkest Dungeon for me was how freaking grindy it is.

Any more room on the team?

Always.

I'm also willing to lend my name to your noble efforts after seeing one of the boss fights was literally The Thing.

I'll happily add you as time allows.
 
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I'm looking forward to the Radiant mode that's coming soon. One of the main turn-offs for Darkest Dungeon for me was how freaking grindy it is.

Any more room on the team?

I don't mind the grind, but it does shit me a bit that a) once your characters hit a certain level, they're completely locked out of lower-level missions and b) each character is only allowed in the Darkest Dungeon once. I get that the devs don't want players to just overlevel one team and then crush the game, but that seems unreasonable.
 
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I don't mind the grind, but it does shit me a bit that a) once your characters hit a certain level, they're completely locked out of lower-level missions and b) each character is only allowed in the Darkest Dungeon once. I get that the devs don't want players to just overlevel one team and then crush the game, but that seems unreasonable.

Flavor-wise, the "only go to the final dungeon once" rule makes sense, and if you're playing the game right, it isn't a huge deal. But the hedging-out characters based on level is ridiculously annoying. Two of the biggest timesinks in this Dankmeme Dungeon run have been trying to get together low-level parties to crush the early bosses whilst at the same time trying to build up cashflow to ensure that a certain upcoming event doesn't fuck us sideways. I get that this is how the game's supposed to be, with big choices and all that but god damn is this fucking annoying at times.

Everything is RNG, from the classes you get to whether or not they get perks that aren't complete shit. Getting a character like your Houndmaster counterpart with a decent perk (Eagle Eye) is rare enough; a character who gets the perfect storm of quirks like @BOLDYSPICY! is rarer than hen's teeth and with no way to manipulate things you are entirely at the mercy of the RNG. There is nothing that sucks harder in this game than getting a character who has relatively few or even no shit quirks, but who just will not, in any way, shape, or form, acquire any positive quirks worth locking in.

I usually let my characters have one "character quirk," where I'll lock in something that isn't necessarily ideal, but is very nice to have for that particular character, such as Hard Skinned on Jaimas or On Guard on @c-no, but there's times the game won't even give you those. That sucks. There is no reason that a character who can't even use melee attacks (Arbalest) wind up with Slugger beyond really crap design. At least you can't get permanently locked out of stress reduction now.
 
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I know I'm late but, feels good man. 2 for 2 on killing the Shambler. I guess even Eldritch abominations are a trifling concern compared to the horrors of watching my skin fall off.
 
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Back in the Weald, and with the proverbial governers off, Jaimas, @CasualSeppuku, @Cynical, and @Ambivalenz have a new quarry to bring down.

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Her knowledge of horticulturalism and its role in various arcane practices impressed me greatly. My licentious impulse gave way to a genuine professional respect, and together, we began to plant, harvest, and brew.

We went over this girl last time. Turns out, she wasn't dead, and now we need to murder her ass all over again.

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Our team moves forward, hesitantly, from the start, carving through the brushlands.

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It isn't long before the team runs into opposition, and quickly fights their way through.

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...And that's worth an armor upgrade.

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Every single outing. Every single mission. These three morons. Forever.


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They fare no better.

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Our team presses on, with decent progress - Jaimas and Seppuku doing the heavy lifting whilst Cynical buffs and Ambivalenz heals. Even an encounter with a Giant doesn't go poorly, Jaimas stunning it and the entire team beating it to death in the span of a turn.

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* Yakety Sax Intensifies *

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Some time later, we meet the Hag once more. Whereas other bosses are hallmarked by big changes between difficulty levels, she is the exact same fight other than HP totals and damage rates. This party is far from optimal, but should be able to manage.

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As ever she leads off by throwing Cynical in the pot.

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Jaimas immediately sets her free.

This repeats several times, but Jaimas sets her free each time. Finally, Jaimas and company stack blight stacks from Cynical on her, and the inevitable happens as the group whittles down her massive HP pool:

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I completely forget that she's even been poisoned until she fucking dies a few rounds later, ending a very awkward moment.
 
Wow, I'm surprised at how well this game portrayed me. Not only did it keep my good looks, it also kept my real life inability to die from massive damage. And I'm also surprised I actually survived this game. Maybe it's not THAT stupid.
 
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Eager to keep the coffers full and build up a good network of support characters, a team of @A Random, @Meowthkip, @lolwut, and @AnOminous head into the coves once again. The mission this time: Secure valuables and finance the war effort, so we can be prepared when the time is right.

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Quickly, our team heads in, and begins to explore the dungeon. This is a short-duration mission, so hopefully there won't be too many pro--

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...Fuck you.

All right, people, I've done each one of these that's showed this run, and I'm not about to stop now.

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Our team of badasses faces that-which-lurks, and the hardest fight of their career extends ahead.

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This fight is actually harder with this team. Meowthkip isn't a heavy hitter by any stretch and neither Lolwut or AnOminous are as heavy-hitting as @BOLDYSPICY! or @Burned Man. What they have are two things: Speed and variety. Lolwut quickly marks the Shambler, giving Random and himself much better damage as well as debuffing the asshole's high defense.

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AnOminous focuses on keeping the Tentacles at bay with help from Meowthkip.

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Six rounds later, the Shambler is dead, having had a hole punched through it by Random.

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Our reward this time is the Ancestor's Map, a surprisingly rare trinket that boosts scouting rates and trap disarming rates. It goes on Meowthkip because nobody else in the team can make use of the goddamned thing, and it makes sense with her being an Antiquarian and all.

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With things much danker now, the team fights on towards the objective, battered and bruised but alive.

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None of them stop for anything. This is a situation they can't afford to slow down on, lest their mounting wounds catch up with them. Going after the Shambler probably was not one of my better moments.

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Lolwut helps hack a bloody path through the bandits, and the end is soon in sight.

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The team finishes the mission without further problems. All of them go into mandatory stress-reduction activities for the week. They've earned it.
 
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Let's briefly check in on our previous mission's team, specifically @A Random, @Meowthkip, and @AnOminous:

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....Yeah, that looks about right.

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I brought my colleagues back with much of their intellect intact - a remarkable triumph for even the most experienced necromancer. Freed from the trappings of their humanity, they plied their terrible trade anew: the dead reviving the dead, on and on, down the years. Forever.

Tyce has emerged from his crypt, stronger than ever. This is the third and final time we face him; should we succeed, Tyce will not rise again. However, this will not be like last time; this will be a Champion dungeon, which means every single thing here is trying to actively murder us. Even Tyce will be a threat this time. We get together Jaimas, @CasualSeppuku, @Cynical, and @Ambivalenz, and we march on towards destiny.

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Back to Jaimas' old outfit, and the team pushes on past the perimeter.

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At first, everything seems to be going good, by and large. But the enemies are harder - tougher - and do way more stress damage than before. New enemies appear all the time and we are constantly pushing against enemy opposition now.

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Things just don't let up. And finally, we reach Tyce after a mere four fights, because this dungeon was apparently designed by someone more Autistic than Tyce himself.

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Forget all that you thought you knew about this fucker previously. :tyceknife:

Tyce on Champion is a completely different beast. Same general tactics apply, but he has monstrous amounts of hit points and his criticals go from mildly annoying to absolutely hurting like hell. Seeing him knock 30 or more damage off a character with The Flesh Is Willing is not unheard of, and his stress boosting is insane now. Worse, he summons Skeletons that even Jaimas generally can't one-shot - Skeleton Soldiers and Guardsmen with built-in protection, rather than the usual Bone Rabbles.

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When Jaimas - my #4 for heavy hitters after @BOLDYSPICY!, @Burned Man, and @Randall Fragg - is struggling to one-shot the basic skeletons, you get an idea of why this area is a fucking nightmare. Even Jaimas' trinket-boosted massive attack power is not enough to breach the skellies here. He needs that last level of weaponry. But we're going to have to make do here with what we've got.

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Tyce is done fucking around. Everything he does is murderous; his massive crits do huge damage and stress, his bleed effects hurt like hell, and everything he does spawns more Skeletons that just refuse to fucking die. Truly, Tyce has unsealed the most powerful units in preparation for his grand Skealatin War, and will stop at nothing to bring his terrible plans to fruition.

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Stress starts to mount, and the team gets pushed to Death's Door several times. On Champion the enemies and bosses constantly critical hit your ass and it gets old quickly beause fucking everything builds retarded amounts of stress. Champion is often the point where players just say "fuck it," and give up on the game, or just throw themselves at the last dungeon because end this madness.

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Quad era demonstratum. This shit is brutal, in no small part because the difference between a level 5 and 6 team is profound for the purposes of calculations. Level 6s take less stress damage and are critical'd less often, and with higher resistances are less likely to fuck up.

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But the team fights on, through madness and pain, Ambivalenz struggling to keep everyone alive. Jaimas can't even reach Tyce; instead he contends himself with stunning the Skeletons and gradually thinning their ranks. Much of the damage we do comes from Cynical's blights and Seppuku's throwing knives.

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Finally, with all of the team afflicted and after a brutal fucking fight that took around 30 rounds, Tyce is dead. All that remains is to mop up what remains of his summoned skellies. The Skealatin War has ended, and the Necromancer lost.

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Finally the team succeeds. Silence echoes through the crypt and our heroes realize the magnitude of what they've accomplished. With Tyce destroyed, we get the first of the "Trophy" class trinkets; this one is that spiky metal collar Tyce was wearing. The collar does the same thing the Unholy Slayer Ring does (massive damage boost vs Unholy), except it gives an even bigger boost, boosts critical rate against unholy enemies as well, and has no real downsides.

Suffice to say it goes right on AnOminous.
 
Back at town, it's been a few weeks since Tyce fell, but the mood hasn't lightened. An imperceptible tension's in the air. Something big is coming. But for now, it's business as usual.

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@lolwut goes on a drunken rage, Jaimas recovers from disease, and @RJ MacReady, a new hire, recovers from reflex-related problems. We're now ready for a new batch of recruits to head out into the woods.

@Wallace, @Ruin, and @RJ MacReady are assigned to the stalwart @Ol'_Slag, who endeavors to teach these neophytes the ropes. One level 4 leading a small squad of Level 1s, hoping to show these kiddies how it's done in the big league.

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Like @AnOminous, @Meowthkip, @A Random, and @lolwut before them, this team is setting up to be troubleshooters. They'll be one of two teams hunting down (and murdering) the veteran level bosses ahead. They won't be alone in this; we will also have @Varg Did Nothing Wrong, @Randall Fragg, @Techpriest, and @alex_theman. Between three full combat teams, we should be able to deal with whatever emerges from the brush.

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Like all Bounty Hunters, and more specifically @lolwut before him, Wallace is a tough bastard who hits somewhat hard. Unlike Lolwut, however, who is all about offense, Wallace is a supporter, using his hook to reel enemies in, Scorpion-style, or hurling flash grenades to disrupt formations.

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Slag isn't so fun for monsters to attack. Not only does he dodge an awful lot, but he tends to hit you right back.

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Lacking Junia's head, Ruin isn't quite as strong a healer as @Ambivalenz, nor is she as good at long range, but her spell from the back row is capable of stunning an enemy entirely, which is handy. She also has another advantage Ambivalenz doesn't, as you will soon see.

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The team keeps up with Slag, though he continues to outstrip them in damage output.

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At camp that night, Slag congratulates the Neophytes and helps them sew up their wounds. MacReady took a lot of stress but ultimately didn't break and some quality time petting the dog lowered everyone's stress but his own. In time, his stress recovery ability will go from terrible to basically the stress version of Ruin's Divine Comfort. Ruin has the ability to keep the campsite safe; no one is certain how she does this, given her apparent beauty, but Slag informs us that anyone who stares upon Ruin's skivvies will see naught but a twisted reflection of their darkest fears. The others dare not test this claim.

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Slimes are actually a lot of fun to fight. They resummon themselves constantly but they present no threat of note beyond this and they don't hit very hard even on criticals. Big Slimes are HP sinks but still not much to worry about. They're creepy and horrifying, but they're not all that much of a threat and I enjoy every time I fight one because it usually means that I can get some healing and stress healing in.

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The map has gone wel. Shockingly so. The only thing that could ruin it would be an untimely encounter with a Giant and friends. And with that we've done the setup for the inevitable joke to follow, and.... Done. So, yeah, we run into one and it immediately uses Confusion Spores to fuck my party order up.

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A Giant, an enemy doggo, and a hag. Nasty combo. Mac immediately puts his doggie to work, dealing with the corrupted mutt.

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Then Wallace pulls the hag to the front of the line.

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Then Ruin shows that the anointed mace she carries isn't for show, and cracks the hag's skull open.

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Finally the giant eats it after three rounds of the entire team pounding him with their weapons, only for him to try to hit Ol' Slag with a treebranch and eat a counterattack to the face, killing him.

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The party's done well. Ruin has a brief stay at the Sanitarium to cure her newly-caught illness, and McReady goes out to self-medicate, and Slag heads off to meet with his old team, confident that these Newbies have what it takes and then some.
 
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