- Joined
- Jul 21, 2017
It's a shame that DD meme videos are so scarce, there should be more
Let's Sperg Darkest Dungeon Let's Sperg: Part 3 - You Maniacs! You got Bloodborne in my Darkest Dungeon!
- Thread starter Jaimas
- Start date
It's a shame that DD meme videos are so scarce, there should be more
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2014
Kind of annoyed me because I was planning to do a mission like that with @Jaimas, @AnOminous, @Bob's Axe, and @Curt Sibling. It was, however, hilarious. You can't go wrong with Powerwolf or Sabaton for some DEUS VULT action.
Anyway.
Today, we sent @Smutley, @Ginger Piglet, @patchwork, and @Hodor into the thick of it. They managed to successfully complete almost two thirds of the mission in a single go, too, so let's get right into it.
Starting out, we began to move north from where @Curt Sibling and company had left a bunch of wine crates. By smashing these with a shovel, we could get firewood, and thusly, actually doing this fucking mission just became viable. In fact, if I had thought to bring additional shovels, this team probably could have gone further, but I digress.
Patchwork's Hand of Light mace makes short work of the ticks and the group pushes deeper into the fray.
This Epic length dungeon is a fuck-mothering nightmare. Every step brings us into conflict with damage sponge enemies, and every battle becomes a deadly game of high-stakes roulette as our team of heroes and heroines tries desperately to be the last ones standing. Every time you think you're ahead, ambushes get sprung. We are waist-deep in their territory now, and they know it.
These Chevaliers are the toughest assholes in this area. Their huge damage output demands response, but their high HP and PROT means they'll always get in a fucking shot or two that you're going to feel. Fucking things remind me of those insufferable fucking LRM Carriers in MechCommander that liked to lulz around and annoy you from behind fortress walls. Or the fucking Vultures that did the same. Thankfully, Hodor ain't no one's fool, and she shows us how she earned that fucking helmet.
Our team gathers firewood and we're off to the races. They couldn't do it without the other two teams running interference.
Several fights later, we find a fucking amazing Trinket for our Antiquarian. This set, if acquired, turns the Antiquarian from a sort of mediocre fighter to a remarkably dangerous one to be respected. It's arguably one of, if not the, best Trinket Sets in the game, and a welcome acquisition. We can always hope we find the other piece someplace.
Idly, as of so far, Smutley and @Bones are the only two with complete sets. They won't be the last if I have my way!
Further into the depths, we find a rather distinctive-looking silver chest with a Carnelian Signet on it.
Inside is the Bedtime Story, a Trinket for @vertexwindi that will substantially boost ability to fuck up marked targets and help them use their crowd-control skills. Nice! With this, Vertex gets the full set and is now a remarkably tough nut to crack for a rear-row fighter.
The team fights more bugs that aren't mosquitoes as they press on. By my estimates, we've successfully scoped out almot 57% of the map.
The encounter rate here is insane. Still, our Warriors of Autism and Light remain stalwart, advancing through the corridors and killing more of those fucking Chevaliers. Hodor breaks out her special brew, because poise makes perfect, darling.
Ginger alternates between bleeding the enemy and keeping the team healthy. His biggest boon is being able to basically completely restore his own health on call when he dips below 50% health. Depending on skill used, he can either lacerate an enemy for the nastiest bleed in the game (9HP) or heal a buddy for a like amount in the process. Ginger is all right. Needs some better Trinkets though.
We use our key and we advance into the north wing. The stench of rotting meat and the heady aroma of fine spices are scented in equal measure; this is a disgusting place we're advancing into.
There is a fucking lot of Wine crates here. Way more than we can possibly use, in fact. It's a fallacy to take more what you need in this case - after all, a wise hunter frees a few hares from the snares to ensure there's something to hunt next season. In theory, we could get some blood from these, since we're running low, but that isn't fair to future exploration teams.
While Hodor's evasion means she's rarely hit, Patch and Ginger aren't so lucky, and tend to bear the brunt of enemy attacks when Smutley isn't actively drawing fire.
This is a big mistake in the case of going after Ginger. If some idiot lowers his HP enough, Ginger can respond by pretty much fullhealing himself and either healing someone else on the team or bleeding some asshole with a Falcon Punch in the process.
This fight took me 20 minutes. They would not stop fucking protecting each other.
We advance further, smashing our way through enemies. The next fight was three fucking Chevaliers, so I'm reasonably sure we're getting close now - either to treasure, or to the boss.
We then recover a Trinket for Jaimas. Fantastic!
More Chevaliers.
Finally, we murder our way through enough that the team gets the Red Key of Anger, which should unlock the gateway to the boss. There's other treasures to seek and our team is out of both shovels and blood, however, so we're going to back off and let the team recover. We will send in Jaimas and Slag's team to recover any goodies, before we send Curt's team at the boss.
Back in town, the usual nonsense occurs. God damn it, @Ravelord.
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2016
By the way, did I ever get infected by the curse? I'm just picturing a vampire cop and his vampire hound fighting crime.
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2014
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2014
I'm glad you mentioned that, because guess who's in the front once more:
Ever-ready for more, our Kiwis @Ravelord, @Mysterious Capitalist, @Computery Guy, and @AngeloTheWizard are trying to gather supplies to help keep the Sanitarium stocked with medical supplies.
Literally 5 steps in and the team runs into shithead the skullface. Unforutnately the whole team is infected, and oh god damn it:
This faggot again. Let's hope we can bypass his node this time.
Back to the heroes and they're already murdering this asshole. He lasts only three rounds of sustained fire from our team.
Ravelord's Team has the advantage of high damage, really high knockback, and one of the best debuffers around.
A few blasts of this shit and the Giants aren't really much threat at all.
When he even manages to hit Capitalist, that is.
After three casts, Treebranch Smackdown, normally one of the worst attacks in the game and capable of dealing over 40 damage, does all of six to Ravelord's mighty guard. God bless this team. I'm glad it's going to be able to go into the Courtyard soon.
Giants are normally a gigantic threat and pain in the ass. They're practically welcomed by this party.
Ravelord is by far my strongest Man-At-Arms, with supririsingly heavy offense. Get in his way at your peril, faggots.
Soonafter the team has returned from their trek to the dark lands beyond, and brought back medicine.
This apparently was enough to get @Bob's Axe to come back from the cathouse and @Bones to stop drinking for a bit.
Working on debugging shit because the last update broke the Smutley Skin.
S
SP 199
Guest
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2017
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2014
So there's been developments in the lands of The (The) Kiwi Farms Estate!
First up, we had a Caregiver's Convention, which has allowed several Kiwis, including @Bob's Axe and @Computery Guy to shed their troublesome negative quirks. Awesome! Several Kiwis have leveled up, and @Bones' team is gradually reaching upwards towards the level cap. Soon there will be no low-level fighters left in our entourage; right now, @Sissy Galvez and @A Random are the only ones lagging behind the others, and we'll be fixing that momentarily. Everything's moving into place for the upcoming (and brutal) assault on the Viscount's lair...
There's word of strange things being afoot nearby, however. Looking into this, and deciding to see if they can help @A Random reach the level cap in the process, @Mysterious Capitalist, @Ravelord, and @AngeloTheWizard get together with the newcomer and advance into the Ruins, while their usual adjutant, @Computery Guy, is undergoing treatment to mitigate his raging kleptomania. Since everyone on this team's already infected, there's no real downside, and the group quickly makes progress.
But wait, what's this..?
We encounter an especially Spooky and Scary Skeleton. Hazy and indistinct, it has a buff I've never seen before, apparently called "Stealth."
The game then informs me that this is a new mechanic added in the last update:
These critters are Ninjas among their kind and cannot be solo-targeted. Only area-of-effect attacks and specifically anti-stealth attacks can break them out of stealth, though the buff wears off on its own after three rounds.
The Antiquarian's Flash Powder, Highwayman's Tracking Shot, Occultist's Vulnerability Hex, Leper's Intimidate, and Arbalest's Rallying Flare all can snap enemies out of stealth, as can the Musketeer's Skeet Shot. A new hero is also mentioned here - a "Shieldbreaker" - but we don't have anyone in the unit like that yet.
Thanks to Capitalist's Tracking Shot, the Skeleton is spooped out of his ninja mode and is easy prey.
Moving along, the group runs into more of the Bloodsuckers that have gradually taken over the estate and choked out what little passes for civilization around here. Remember when the Skellingtons used to be the norm around here? Those were good days.
I've grown to despise Chevaliers in particular. In a lot of ways these faggots remind me of Strikers and LRM carriers in the MechCommander games; with their sheer range, they'll always get in a shot or two, and due to camping behind enemy opposition (or walls), you usually can't just burst the fuckers down. In the Chevalier's case, it's the fact that he can't be moved and does fucktons of damage with every attack while spamming stun and bleed. It sucks.
Thankfully Ravelord agrees with my analysis, and a Mace to the head settles matters in short order.
The team naps, recovering for the battles ahead. So far, despite slightly lower levels, Random is catching up nicely.
After breaking camp, we luck out and find a confession booth, which Angelo uses to shed some stress.
He thanks us afterwards by murdering an entire squad of Skellingtons with pure skillingtons.
Meanwhile, Capitalist takes on the front lines with a flurry of pistol shots and knife swipes.
Random keeps the pressure on, debuffing and knocking the Skeletons around, preventing them from responding effectively.
Finally Ravelord deals with these remnants in the way he is accustomed.
We encounter another ninja enemy, this one a Brigand Fusileer. Once again, Capitalist is having none of his shit and rips that camouflage right off the guy with Tracking Shot.
Meanwhile, Angelo deals with the Cutthroat, lowering his massive attack power to laughable levels.
Finally, Random turns this fight into a No Ninjas Allowed zone.
At this point, we recover another Relic and the mission is almost over.
Which means of course we run into these assholes again.
I miss dipshit Bandit Trio, don't you? They were like our very own Team Rocket.
We get the final relic and our team returns home without too much to worry about.
It is then I learn that the adventures of the (the) Kiwi Farms Estate has been going on for 200 in-game weeks.
Happy 200th, Fam!
First up, we had a Caregiver's Convention, which has allowed several Kiwis, including @Bob's Axe and @Computery Guy to shed their troublesome negative quirks. Awesome! Several Kiwis have leveled up, and @Bones' team is gradually reaching upwards towards the level cap. Soon there will be no low-level fighters left in our entourage; right now, @Sissy Galvez and @A Random are the only ones lagging behind the others, and we'll be fixing that momentarily. Everything's moving into place for the upcoming (and brutal) assault on the Viscount's lair...
There's word of strange things being afoot nearby, however. Looking into this, and deciding to see if they can help @A Random reach the level cap in the process, @Mysterious Capitalist, @Ravelord, and @AngeloTheWizard get together with the newcomer and advance into the Ruins, while their usual adjutant, @Computery Guy, is undergoing treatment to mitigate his raging kleptomania. Since everyone on this team's already infected, there's no real downside, and the group quickly makes progress.
But wait, what's this..?
We encounter an especially Spooky and Scary Skeleton. Hazy and indistinct, it has a buff I've never seen before, apparently called "Stealth."
The game then informs me that this is a new mechanic added in the last update:
These critters are Ninjas among their kind and cannot be solo-targeted. Only area-of-effect attacks and specifically anti-stealth attacks can break them out of stealth, though the buff wears off on its own after three rounds.
The Antiquarian's Flash Powder, Highwayman's Tracking Shot, Occultist's Vulnerability Hex, Leper's Intimidate, and Arbalest's Rallying Flare all can snap enemies out of stealth, as can the Musketeer's Skeet Shot. A new hero is also mentioned here - a "Shieldbreaker" - but we don't have anyone in the unit like that yet.
Thanks to Capitalist's Tracking Shot, the Skeleton is spooped out of his ninja mode and is easy prey.
Moving along, the group runs into more of the Bloodsuckers that have gradually taken over the estate and choked out what little passes for civilization around here. Remember when the Skellingtons used to be the norm around here? Those were good days.
I've grown to despise Chevaliers in particular. In a lot of ways these faggots remind me of Strikers and LRM carriers in the MechCommander games; with their sheer range, they'll always get in a shot or two, and due to camping behind enemy opposition (or walls), you usually can't just burst the fuckers down. In the Chevalier's case, it's the fact that he can't be moved and does fucktons of damage with every attack while spamming stun and bleed. It sucks.
Thankfully Ravelord agrees with my analysis, and a Mace to the head settles matters in short order.
The team naps, recovering for the battles ahead. So far, despite slightly lower levels, Random is catching up nicely.
After breaking camp, we luck out and find a confession booth, which Angelo uses to shed some stress.
He thanks us afterwards by murdering an entire squad of Skellingtons with pure skillingtons.
Meanwhile, Capitalist takes on the front lines with a flurry of pistol shots and knife swipes.
Random keeps the pressure on, debuffing and knocking the Skeletons around, preventing them from responding effectively.
Finally Ravelord deals with these remnants in the way he is accustomed.
We encounter another ninja enemy, this one a Brigand Fusileer. Once again, Capitalist is having none of his shit and rips that camouflage right off the guy with Tracking Shot.
Meanwhile, Angelo deals with the Cutthroat, lowering his massive attack power to laughable levels.
Finally, Random turns this fight into a No Ninjas Allowed zone.
At this point, we recover another Relic and the mission is almost over.
Which means of course we run into these assholes again.
I miss dipshit Bandit Trio, don't you? They were like our very own Team Rocket.
We get the final relic and our team returns home without too much to worry about.
It is then I learn that the adventures of the (the) Kiwi Farms Estate has been going on for 200 in-game weeks.
Happy 200th, Fam!
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2014
The local monster population beseeches the group:
Please get rid of the fucking Bloodsuckers so we can Skellie it up and save Halloween.
Back in town, we have a new arrival:
Meet @CrunkLord420, our Shieldbreaker. This new class is a bit of an oddity; rather than have sheer offense, she's an agile, aggressive combatant that handles almost like a poison-fueled version of @Collections Agent. One thing you'll note immediately is that she's missing a hand; Crunklord, it seems, was a former slave and escaped by severing her own limb with a dull knife and escaping to The (The) Kiwi Farms Estate. Here she pursues a life as a Mercenary, since none of her former masters would dare surface around this particular shithole.
She left that life and willingly came to a land infested with undead mosquitoes, insane cultists, tentacle beasts, and giant pig-men because all of that sucked less than where she came from. I don't care if you replace your blood with battery acid and wear a robotic snake as a codpiece, you will never be that fucking metal.
I'm interested in putting her through her paces and seeing how she does, but right now, there's no more low-rankers to work with. Soloing, even in a green-level dungeon, is tantamount to suicide for many classes, and I really don't feel like waiting an age just to see if she's worth it or not, so in true Kiwi Fashion, I throw her in the deep end.
She enters the Ruins with veteran adventurers @c-no, @Ol' Slag, and @Jaimas, all of whom have been around the ruin a few times. Slag is sporting his new outfit, and at a glance, the newcomer seems out of place with her electric blue bedlah, but we're gonna see how she does. A level 1 character amidst level 6s. This could end badly, but we'll see how she does soon enough.
We luck out right away, and she's able to shed some of her starting stress immediately with the help of a Confessionary.
Immediately we run into these fucking things. To make things safe for all things spoopy and to help save Halloween for The (The) Kiwi Farms Estate, our team runs to the attack. Surprisingly, despite multiple assaults by the Mosquitoes, they fail to infect anyone, even the newcomer.
Crunklord's iconic ability is that she can assume a stance to make her impossible to hit with a physical attack for two attacks. This move bolsters her speed, too. Because she's also blessed with a high evade rate, this makes her one of, if not the most evasive character in the game, with her only real rivals being Grave Robbers and Jesters!
Using his sheer attack power and evasiveness, Slag helps scatter them, once again using his hilariously overpowered ripostes.
She apparently knows magic, and Crunklord can also hurl snake-darts at enemies. The move catches the Mosquitoes off-guard and our newcomer has scored her first kill.
Jaimas meanwhile proclaims that only Skeletons are allowed in the ruins, and that Bloodsuckers are faggots.
Meanwhile, C-No, who the Mosquitoes really focused on for reasons uncertain, shows that all the damage they do can be just as easily undone.
It's not all good though. Lacking levels, Crunklord misses easily and her debuffs and status ailments often fail to connect. This is not her fault, but it does put the group at risk.
Thankfully old stalwart Jaimas is still here to teach these rookies what for.
Not all of the Skeletons are on our side for Halloween. Heading down one hallway, we run into this trio who was assembling a Meth lab in order to give tainted candy to children this Hallow's Eve. Enraged at this offense against all things sweet and delicious, the team rushes to the attack.
The attacks land hard, but with Crunklord's auto-block ability, she has a chance to survive, even in this fight. Jesus.
She throws snakes at the Lancer and finishes him off thereafter.
@c-no continues to patch up the party and give zero fucks.
Dat dodge tho
Slag shivs a skeleton and we proceed on from the Meth Lab, only to find the dastardly fiend behind all this:
Hoo boy.
It's time to see what you're made of, Crunklord. Wasting no word, our heroes charge into the fray!
C-No leads off by ripping open the enemy ranks with tentacles.
He also keeps the team healthy, such as here where he boosts the newcomer's HP.
In response, asshole targets C-No, which forces the group to immediately switch targets and deal with his assosciates before they can stack bleed procs on our teammate.
The gambit works, and the team gradually begins to wear The Collector down.
Even Crunklord gets in on this in a big way by throwing snakes at him.
Jaimas helps in his usual method.
Finally, in a spray of snakes and death, the newcomer joins the ranks of the elite by killing this shithead on her first mission out.
Or rather, her weak little blight proc does.
Slag brings down the Highwayman head, before Jaimas finishes off the two remaining.
Finally, we finish the exploration. Crunklord survived her first expedition without breaking stride and quickly boosted to level 3.
Back at town, the group destresses, except for Crunk who has some negative quirks to shed.
It's shaping up to be a bitchin' Halloween.
Please get rid of the fucking Bloodsuckers so we can Skellie it up and save Halloween.
Back in town, we have a new arrival:
Meet @CrunkLord420, our Shieldbreaker. This new class is a bit of an oddity; rather than have sheer offense, she's an agile, aggressive combatant that handles almost like a poison-fueled version of @Collections Agent. One thing you'll note immediately is that she's missing a hand; Crunklord, it seems, was a former slave and escaped by severing her own limb with a dull knife and escaping to The (The) Kiwi Farms Estate. Here she pursues a life as a Mercenary, since none of her former masters would dare surface around this particular shithole.
She left that life and willingly came to a land infested with undead mosquitoes, insane cultists, tentacle beasts, and giant pig-men because all of that sucked less than where she came from. I don't care if you replace your blood with battery acid and wear a robotic snake as a codpiece, you will never be that fucking metal.
I'm interested in putting her through her paces and seeing how she does, but right now, there's no more low-rankers to work with. Soloing, even in a green-level dungeon, is tantamount to suicide for many classes, and I really don't feel like waiting an age just to see if she's worth it or not, so in true Kiwi Fashion, I throw her in the deep end.
She enters the Ruins with veteran adventurers @c-no, @Ol' Slag, and @Jaimas, all of whom have been around the ruin a few times. Slag is sporting his new outfit, and at a glance, the newcomer seems out of place with her electric blue bedlah, but we're gonna see how she does. A level 1 character amidst level 6s. This could end badly, but we'll see how she does soon enough.
We luck out right away, and she's able to shed some of her starting stress immediately with the help of a Confessionary.
Immediately we run into these fucking things. To make things safe for all things spoopy and to help save Halloween for The (The) Kiwi Farms Estate, our team runs to the attack. Surprisingly, despite multiple assaults by the Mosquitoes, they fail to infect anyone, even the newcomer.
Crunklord's iconic ability is that she can assume a stance to make her impossible to hit with a physical attack for two attacks. This move bolsters her speed, too. Because she's also blessed with a high evade rate, this makes her one of, if not the most evasive character in the game, with her only real rivals being Grave Robbers and Jesters!
Using his sheer attack power and evasiveness, Slag helps scatter them, once again using his hilariously overpowered ripostes.
She apparently knows magic, and Crunklord can also hurl snake-darts at enemies. The move catches the Mosquitoes off-guard and our newcomer has scored her first kill.
Jaimas meanwhile proclaims that only Skeletons are allowed in the ruins, and that Bloodsuckers are faggots.
Meanwhile, C-No, who the Mosquitoes really focused on for reasons uncertain, shows that all the damage they do can be just as easily undone.
It's not all good though. Lacking levels, Crunklord misses easily and her debuffs and status ailments often fail to connect. This is not her fault, but it does put the group at risk.
Thankfully old stalwart Jaimas is still here to teach these rookies what for.
Not all of the Skeletons are on our side for Halloween. Heading down one hallway, we run into this trio who was assembling a Meth lab in order to give tainted candy to children this Hallow's Eve. Enraged at this offense against all things sweet and delicious, the team rushes to the attack.
The attacks land hard, but with Crunklord's auto-block ability, she has a chance to survive, even in this fight. Jesus.
She throws snakes at the Lancer and finishes him off thereafter.
@c-no continues to patch up the party and give zero fucks.
Dat dodge tho
Slag shivs a skeleton and we proceed on from the Meth Lab, only to find the dastardly fiend behind all this:
Hoo boy.
It's time to see what you're made of, Crunklord. Wasting no word, our heroes charge into the fray!
C-No leads off by ripping open the enemy ranks with tentacles.
He also keeps the team healthy, such as here where he boosts the newcomer's HP.
In response, asshole targets C-No, which forces the group to immediately switch targets and deal with his assosciates before they can stack bleed procs on our teammate.
The gambit works, and the team gradually begins to wear The Collector down.
Even Crunklord gets in on this in a big way by throwing snakes at him.
Jaimas helps in his usual method.
Finally, in a spray of snakes and death, the newcomer joins the ranks of the elite by killing this shithead on her first mission out.
Or rather, her weak little blight proc does.
Slag brings down the Highwayman head, before Jaimas finishes off the two remaining.
Finally, we finish the exploration. Crunklord survived her first expedition without breaking stride and quickly boosted to level 3.
Back at town, the group destresses, except for Crunk who has some negative quirks to shed.
It's shaping up to be a bitchin' Halloween.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
I finally bought this game because all of it including the DLC is now available for a bit over $20.
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2015
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2017
This is the closet I've ever come to getting fanfiction written about me, I'm stoked.
I haven't played Darkest Dungeon since it was basically brand new in early access.
I haven't played Darkest Dungeon since it was basically brand new in early access.
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
So do I even have a character in this any more or did I all die?
(Just for the fuck of it started a Bloodmoon campaign and my secondary dude got Afflicted and then died just on the road to town. That shit is brutal.)
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2014
You absolutely still have a character.
You also boast one of the highest boss kill counts.
In fact, I'm planning to throw you and the bulk of your team (@Wallace, @Meowthkip, @A Random) to help max Random out soon.
Idly, I'm considering testing something for @Ruin, who apparently has a new optional character model, but it may be a bit too racy...
It's a magical internet out there, and Steam Workshop is no exception.
All these talented modders out there, and they're focusing everything on bringing busty chicks to this hellhole. I'm not sure whether to be impressed or terrified.
Little of both, really. Shine on, you magnificent bastards.
...Sort of does work considering the jokes I made about Ruin all game though. Your thoughts?
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2015
I'll be on standby in case you need the cavalry. The dog-based cavalry.
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2015
*makes an overused joke about groping swipe*
The internet will bolt tits onto anything, cans of mountain dew, wasps, planes - it's not really that strange that tits would be intoduced here too.
Funnily enough, Vestal's the one it probably makes least sense for backstory-wise, for her gender at least. Gender wise, it would still make less sense to give a Man-at-arms a pair of boobs, but I should probably stop typing in case the internet causes it to exist.
The internet will bolt tits onto anything, cans of mountain dew, wasps, planes - it's not really that strange that tits would be intoduced here too.
Funnily enough, Vestal's the one it probably makes least sense for backstory-wise, for her gender at least. Gender wise, it would still make less sense to give a Man-at-arms a pair of boobs, but I should probably stop typing in case the internet causes it to exist.