Let's Sperg Darkest Dungeon Let's Sperg: Part 3 - You Maniacs! You got Bloodborne in my Darkest Dungeon!

For Dankmeme Dungeon thread Four.....

  • Keep going with the (the) Kiwi Farms Estate?

    Votes: 22 57.9%
  • Restart, but add the best of the mod classes?

    Votes: 16 42.1%

  • Total voters
    38
We're gradually building up our parties into a cohesive fighting force once again. In the meantime, let's check in on @Techpriest, @Varg Did Nothing Wrong, @NotAKitty, and @Randall Fragg, who are currently working to pave the way for the newcomers.

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Varg is showing off his new armor, and the team's green color scheme is looking quite elegant. Immediately they run into SKELETONS, which of course means smashing our way through them as per tradition.

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@Techpriest is still 100% badass. The best healer on any team thus far (with the possible lone exception of @Darwin Watterson), Techpriest also slams the back lines with gusto. During this mission, the wily Occultist scores a shocking kill count of 14 enemies, as well as his largest heal so far (74).

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LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUUUUUUL~

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Varg meanwhile is amazingly aggressive. Lacking offensive quirks, he still manages to bring the thunder; enemies fight him, he does damage to them, and when they're stupid enough to hit him back....

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...Varg punches their skulls so far into their chests that they have to drop their pants to say hello.

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Meanwhile, the group has reached the fist objective. Glorious!

The altar is purified and Team Green moves on.

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Varg scores more kills when it isn't even his fucking turn. He's beginning to rival @Ol' Slag when it comes to this.

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@NotAKitty fills a unique role in this team. Unlike @Shuu, who's loaded for damage, or @alex_theman, who's a utilitarian fighter, NotAKitty blends offense, defense, support, and knives to the face. She can actually buff up Techpriest to demolish a line, Varg until he can counter enemies into the ground, or turn Randall into a fucking killing machine.

Just don't get her started about coffee.

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We run into the infestation down here, which prompts Randall to fire up the music and transform:


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Randall is still arguably my strongest fighter, with only @Burned Man, @Smutley, and @BOLDYSPICY! offering any real contention, and none of them can butt-fuck half a squad like Randall.

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...Or soften them up for Techpriest.

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Varg pummels his way trhough the line, and soon, the goal reaches the last altar.

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Victory is ours for now! With this, the way is paved for the others to begin level-up runs.
 
I heal, murder, and debuff, even at level zero where I helped kill the first shambler - Do Not Fuck With The Skullcandle Man
 
  • Semper Fidelis
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Back in the warrens, we send the team of @Computery Guy, @AngeloTheWizard, @Bones, and @Mysterious Capitalist out to finish off the locals and see if they can find one of the fucking invitations that the courtyard mandates.

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The Warrens have changed little since last we visited. Killing both the Swine Prince and Flesh haven't really stopped the pigmen from showing up, nor raiding the nearby farms periodically, though @Solzhenitsyn and @RJ MacReady issuing the local farmers firearms has done a bit to curtail this practice. Honestly, I'm surprised there's any of these bastards left after @lolwut elected to pay the Warrens a visit and have a friendly chat.

It also dawns on me that we've never seen a female swinefolk. That's not at all disturbing to think about or leads perfectly into a joke about Troons that's too low a hanging fruit even for me.

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As if in response to these utterings, we run into some cultists. Nice to know that while we have Pigmen, Vampires, Fishmen, Skeletons, and Mushroom people running around, we can still run into these dipshits for a laugh.

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@Computery Guy greets them in the way he is accustomed. Slice Off, his main attack, is similar to @KidKitty's harvest, but hits only one target, does noticably more damage, and inflicts a nastier bleed proc. All in all, it's perfect for Computery Guy's assassin role.

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@Mysterious Capitalist is a user of tracking shot, and he's the first character I've had that can honestly make routine use of it. It fires a long-ranged shot that does minor damage - and provided a buff to his combat stats that lasts the entire fight. While Capitalist isn't as powerful as Slag by any stretch, this ability makes up for it and gives him a bit more utility. It's especially nice for finishing off weak foes, so he can go after the others with the boosted stats.

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@Bones serves as the party tank, and not in a way most would expect. He soaks damage for the whole team, using Absolution to burn off any injuries he takes, and using his debuff skills to corral the enemy.

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He can then transform when it's time to get his murder on, and tear the opposition to shreds.


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@AngeloTheWizard is probably the most unusual example of an Occultist we have. Fundamentally, he has the same combat role as his counterparts, @Techpriest and @c-no - healing and offensive support - but where he differs is that his main role is debuffing enemies with Weakening Hex. This team doesn't have anyone hugely high in HP - Bones is all they've got - so this ability taking the edge off is a lynchpin in this team's operation. The fact that he can essentially take all the threat out of a Swinetaur or Skivier is kind of neat.

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He's also a scholarly class, which means he automatically sheds stress interacting with knowledge curios thanks to the Athaenum District. This really helps keep his stress down.

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This team is remarkably efficient for a comparatively low-level party, and may be one of the ones that heads into the courtyard alongside @Curt Sibling's team and @Smutley's team. We'll need to see!

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Mister Stewart is also capable of counter attacks, just like Slag. So far, things are going well.

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The team is settled in for the evening, and thanks to Bones being there, the team gets more Respite Points to spend. This lets us buff Bones and Capitalist with Dark Strength and Psych up, then have Computery burn off the stress buildup with just enough time for Capitalist to also lay snares and prevent nighttime ambushes.

I'm surprised, but this team can really go the distance.

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Really go the distance, as Bones quickly shows, killing the front lines off again.

Soonafter, though, an old friend comes to play.

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Is it a bad sign that I had actually forgotten this guy even exists with all the other shit wandering around right now?

A round in, the team's cut his HP by roughly half, and he's summoned his Faces of Evil. Clearly we will need to conquer each. But there's no time for terrible CD-I memes, since there's fighty time to be had.

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Angelo channels his inner Techpriest and wreaks havoc on the front lines. Alternately, he grabs the fucker with Eldritch Pull and drags them within stabbing range of Capitalist and Bones.

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The Collector tries to show the party what lies within his mantle, but Bones and Capitalist have viewed one too many threads in the Tumblr subforum to not know where this goes, so the attack is ineffective.

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Bones transforms and gets right to work getting these unworthy motherfuckers out of here.

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Capitalist shivs the bastard, and every time he tries to go to the back lines, Angelo drags him right the fuck back up to the front line, while Computery keeps the team's stress levels down and alternately bleeds the heads white.

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Finally, Bones ends the fight after the Collector's been softened up enough.

This is one Abomination I'm glad we rescued.

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The ol' dash-then-blam tactic favored by Ol' Slag still works on Capitalist, letting him easily take bigger prey.

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This outing has been phenomenally successful. I'm genuinely surprised. Fitting then, that it ends with us fighting the same three douchebags we've put in the ground a few dozen times by now.

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It goes fairly predictably.

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Really predictably.

Back at town, I'm testing a new skin that goes along with Sibling's tendency to feature 80s-style Heavy Metal-inspired babes as avatars and combined it with his previous one, allowing us to have a female Crusader Skin.

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Which do you prefer, Sibling? Let me know either in-thread or below as situation merits.

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Moving ahead, @Smutley, @Hodor, @patchwork, and @Ginger Piglet continue to hunt for Invitations.
 
Damn, we didn't just complete that dungeon: we destroyed it! But I must be careful: overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.

Jokes aside, I really wish I wasn't trash at this game. Now I totally want to go back and try again
 
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I feel like I should be immune to sanity loss, I've played both Revolution 60 and Dream Daddy by now. WHAT DO YOU GOT, DARKEST DUNGEON?!

He spots The Collector

Oh. nevermind, there's still some things I've yet to see.
 
  • DRINK!
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You need to give the bandit party some props for still venturing out there. Everything is going to hell and we've whooped their asses beyond count but they just shrug it off and go out to plunder. They need a spinoff adventure.
 
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You need to give the bandit party some props for still venturing out there. Everything is going to hell and we've whooped their asses beyond count but they just shrug it off and go out to plunder. They need a spinoff adventure.

That might be in the cards if I can get the skin mods.

Moving on.

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Team Smutley - @Smutley, @Ginger Piglet, @Hodor, and @patchwork - manage to find an invitation bearer. Leaping to the assault, Hodor darts forward and chops him down on the spot!

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Smutley does similar, chopping into a giant Mosquito and tearing it out of the air.

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Even Patchwork gets in on this noise, as Ginger patches the wounded.

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An invitation is secured... Our teams will be able to make for the next fight soon.

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But things don't go as well for Team SKELLINGTONS, consisting of @Bones, @Computery Guy, @Mysterious Capitalist, and @AngeloTheWizard. Though they recover three Invitations, their entire party winds up both stressed and infected.

The infection is hitting full-blown outbreak status once again....
 
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Well, fuck, apparently switching to a Butterfly from a Computer made me susceptible to vampirism. Oh well, better start writing a new song about it.

"Have you ever wondered why BLOOD'S here?
What's it all about, you've no idea.
And every where you look, all you see is hatred.
And BLOOD KILL REND TEAR"

...it needs work.
 
  • DRINK!
Reactions: Jaimas
It's time.

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The feasting and revelry would last for weeks at a time. Great stone tables were set with such an abundance of rare delicacies that we would stuff ourselves until the exotic became mundane. When the lavish spread began to spoil, a ravenous gourmand gleefully proposed that we sample from the fetid pile of composting refuse! The notion was dismissed as decidedly unhealthy, but days later he was found cackling madly atop a heap of rancid comestibles, licking his fingers in delight!

Neither the years nor the Crimson Curse have stopped the Viscount's endless feasting, it seems, but all evidence is that his tastes have changed very much for the worse.

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@vertexwindi, @Collections Agent, @Darwin Watterson, and @Curt Sibling are sent into the courtyard once more, this time with every intent to take out this new threat. If successful, the reward is an invitation to dance from the Countess herself! Vertex has her new armor, further driving home the cool factor.

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Leading off, Collections mimics @lolwut and greets the locals.

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Curt DEUS VULTs his way into the enemy ranks, while Vertex snipes and Darwin alternates between healing and smiting through the bloodsuckers.

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This level seems a bit more straightforward than the one we had to go through to reach the Baron, but the enemy opposition is far worse. Nobles and Courtesans are the name of the day in this hellish moor, and they are substantially tougher than the usual rabble.

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The Esquire is particularly aggressive, doing good damage and setting up Ripostes with deadly precision. While he is fragile, his sheer offense demands respect, especially if he's bolstered by the Courtesan. Like all Bloodsuckers, they can also enter a Bloodlust state if they connect with their blood drain attack; at this point both the Esquire and Courtesan become decidedly dangerous.

Thankfully, it doesn't stop our Autism Brigade.

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Moving ahead, the group slices, shoots, and in Curt's case, shitposts the enemy into submission. This particular dungeon seems different in that it mostly seems to be one big long twisting hallway rather than a fucking maze like the other one, but it's shaping up to be just as long.

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The Chevalier, that enemy on the rock in the second-to-last row, is an asshole. Basically immune to movement abilities, he instead does a damned good impression of a Lurker from Starcraft and attempts to impale your party, doing fucking brutal damage in the process. He has one attack that hits (and stuns) up to two party members for moderate damage, and he has another that does heavy damage and bleed to one party member. This bastard is a real threat to anyone who runs too low on HP, because he can cause a Deathblow before you realize what happened!

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But the Kiwis are made of sterner stuff, and Curt makes it clear that this party will take Jerusalem.

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The path is long, winding, and twisted, arching around to the north and then to the east. At every stage, we face opposition, and our heroes are pushed hard by these opponents.

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We go further and further, murdering our way past the decrepit nobles and their servants.

Finally, we reach our first clue....

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The blue key will unlock the door at the entrance - good for us. Unfortunately, it also means we have to walk there, which is bad for us.

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Thankfully we manage to salvage a pair of Set Trinkets, which will be highly useful for @Bones. One by one we slice through another fucking squad of these assholes, and we connect a loop extending back to the entrance. We're making headway here; all we need to do is keep it up, find a good rest spot, an--

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...Oh fuck me.

So this asshole again. You know the drill now, this fucking Croc is a tough customer.

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But the Kiwis aren't backing down, even as the Crocodilian sprays bugs at us.

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We wind up at Death's Door quite a few times, but we keep the pressure on, and bit by bit, grind the Croc down.

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Finally, bleeding and beaten but alive, a harsh blow from Curt puts the beast down for good. We get a Houndmaster Set trinket and some treasure. Don your Fulton Extraction devices, Kiwi Team, because here's where we pull the fuck out. This team has at least three weeks of therapy ahead after this shit.

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Bones got both pieces of the Abomination Trinket Set, which gives him a wealth of bonuses, including raised damage and improved dodges.

We'll be arranging for additional teams to make the plunge into this one while Curt's team recovers.
 
To consolidate the western edge of the map, we deploy @patchwork, @Ginger Piglet, @Hodor, and @Smutley.

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The sheer amount of terrain we need to cover is... Well, a little intimidating. Even knowing where everything is, we're sort of spread out here and the huge amount of enemies means that if you weren't infected going in, you probably are coming out. We advance slowly but surely, the team focusing on moving forward through this polluted moor.

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It is then I notice that when Hodor uses this skin, her Toxin Trickery is an Estus Flask. Clever!

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Soonafter the team gets the blue door open, making sure the way is open for the rest of our group.

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The team pushes ever inward, frankly faring somewhat better than Curt's team, mostly because Smutley's group is lopsided towards quicker takedowns but has less ability to butt-fuck the bosses.

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It's not long at all before we push inwards, and soon we've cleared the entire northwest quadrant of the map.

The team lucks out as they move south - finding a crate of wine that, when smashed open, provides firewood.

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That night, amidst mosquitoes and damp soil, our heroes have a nice nap. The team discusses Hodor's glowing eyes as Ginger whips himself with reckless abandon, healing himself.

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Food is a serious concern, but thankfully we brought herbs. Good thing because we're running low on it.

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We move ahead, checking the left branch un hope of treasure; Patch can quite literally bring the thunder in this case.

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Soon we recover a golden key. We're running low on supplies and can't count on too many others, so we're left with no recourse but to pull out soon, lest we face hunger checks without food handy. Thankfully we can press just a bit further....

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Hodor voices her thoughts on this nightmare. Nothing quite like taking a nap in a room with a massive fountain full of skulls, gore, and the tattered remains of some unfortunate fucker. Ginger seems to be sampling some of it to see if it has any usable blood in it, though.

Finally, the team completes its rounds, and pulls out. Not bad at all. Once leveled, @Bones' team has a crack next, because it's gonna be a few more weeks before Curt's team can muster out.
 
Oh boy here we go.

Well, hopefully if everyone else dies, I can go Quisling and entertain the assembled vampiric nobles with my songs!
 
Beaten the game three times, Darkest, Radiant and Stygian.

Yesterday had my first full level 6 party wipe, against the Shuffling Horror, on playthrough #4. So much dejection, I think I'll leave the game until the next expansion comes out.
So long, and thanks for all the fishfolk.
 
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