Let's Sperg Darkest Dungeon Let's Sperg: Part 3 - You Maniacs! You got Bloodborne in my Darkest Dungeon!

For Dankmeme Dungeon thread Four.....

  • Keep going with the (the) Kiwi Farms Estate?

    Votes: 22 57.9%
  • Restart, but add the best of the mod classes?

    Votes: 16 42.1%

  • Total voters
    38
The votes have been tabulated, and Meowthkip's predecessor has returned from beyond. Second-place was Random's predecessor and third was Wallace.

The new Antiquarian has been rolled into @Bones and @Computery Guy's party.
 
Welcome back to our Antique addict friend! You've missed an awful lot!

For one thing, there are fucking vampires now.
 
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So how am I doing? I haven't seen myself in this just yet.

Quite well. You've been active, it's just that idle missions aren't very entertaining to write about. You were actually the only uninfected team member your squad had back before the infection broke entirely.
 
You can get in on this Mister Stewart.

Thanks, I'll accept whatever type of hero that's avaiable/ you think is appropriate. I look forward to (die horribly on the first mission) the many, many adventures to come

So says Mr. Stewart
 
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It's been quiet the last few days. That shit won't last. And since I feel like doing so, let's have a showcase episode for some of the newcomers. And since I added some cosmetic mods, we now have some great decisions for shaking up the roster even further.

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I wanted @Smutley to have a different flavor than @Burned Man, so this mod was perfect. A former member of Vvulf's guard, he now serves the Kiwis since the guy wasn't big on being murdered for continuing the campaign against them. While he's got a few issues with Slag giving him dirty looks, he's proven reliable.

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@Hodor is a bit less worldly than the average Grave Robber, making up for it by being fucking intimidating looking and having a badass metallic hat. Fear her, evildoers.

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@patchwork has the new Cleric model. Cute. Not as hot as @Ruin, obviously, but getting there.

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@Ol' Slag has found a nice hat.

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@Varg Did Nothing Wrong has adopted a new set of armor and new shield.

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@Collections Agent has abandoned his axe for this weird looking sword he found. He also found this new armor and won't shut the fuck up about invasions. Probably nothing to worry about, since @BOLDYSPICY! can still suplex him through a table if necessary, but his kill count's gone up, which is nice!

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@Curt Sibling also got a new set of armor for him to DEUS VULT with.


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@Bones also has a unique mutation going on.

We'll be seeing another big update once our teams are high enough level to actually get things done and the infestation builds some fucking momentum.
 
It's been quiet the last few days. That shit won't last. And since I feel like doing so, let's have a showcase episode for some of the newcomers. And since I added some cosmetic mods, we now have some great decisions for shaking up the roster even further.

4Bf2IIg.jpg

I wanted @Smutley to have a different flavor than @Burned Man, so this mod was perfect. A former member of Vvulf's guard, he now serves the Kiwis since the guy wasn't big on being murdered for continuing the campaign against them. While he's got a few issues with Slag giving him dirty looks, he's proven reliable.

JaDZltG.jpg


@Hodor is a bit less worldly than the average Grave Robber, making up for it by being fucking intimidating looking and having a badass metallic hat. Fear her, evildoers.

XoxMr9n.jpg


@patchwork has the new Cleric model. Cute. Not as hot as @Ruin, obviously, but getting there.

SxDQNF4.jpg


@Ol' Slag has found a nice hat.

cLYgVc8.jpg


@Varg Did Nothing Wrong has adopted a new set of armor and new shield.

dYkK990.jpg


@Collections Agent has abandoned his axe for this weird looking sword he found. He also found this new armor and won't shut the fuck up about invasions. Probably nothing to worry about, since @BOLDYSPICY! can still suplex him through a table if necessary, but his kill count's gone up, which is nice!

5mi8zU2.jpg


@Curt Sibling also got a new set of armor for him to DEUS VULT with.


2sTOMdy.jpg

@Bones also has a unique mutation going on.

We'll be seeing another big update once our teams are high enough level to actually get things done and the infestation builds some fucking momentum.
Nice Dark Souls mod fam
 
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So let's check in on one of the newcomer teams, specifically @patchwork, @Ginger Piglet, @Hodor, and @Smutley.

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The team is preparing for a long one, and this mission hopefully will advance them to level 3. Armed with their wits, some boxed lunches, and enough muscle to punch some people, we're gonna see how these bastards and their shiny new outfits handle the cove.

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Unlike @Sable and @Meowthkip, Hodor ain't packing a pickaxe. Instead her version just makes her whip out a sword and slam that through her enemy's face. Or in this case, send chunks of fishman hurling through the air in a grotesque spray.

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@patchwork doesn't actually carry a mace; when she needs to defend herself, she materializes one from mid-air and uses it.

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Surprisingly, Smutley actually does carry his second sword from his time working for @BOLDYSPICY!'s dad; it's strapped to his back! He's almost as hard-hitting as @Burned Man, but surprisingly not as efficient.

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Ginger Piglet didn't get any new outfits, but fuck that, he was a badass anyway. His specialty is cracking tough armored foes and making them bleed; alternately it's providing massive heals when the team needs them most.

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Hodor still has poison needles for when the situation warrants.

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Through the winding halls, the Kiwis fight on, and pretty much roflstomp every enemy that comes down the pipe. Half the enemy attacks miss, and the ones that don't are putting a dent in the Kiwis at all, allowing our team of heroes to essentially kill everything in their way at their leisure. Not even Smutley's old buddies can stop this team.

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That night, the team rests up, huddled together around the fire. We recently got the Outsider's Bonfire, which means any party with an Abomination, Leper, or Hellion gets 2 bonus Respite Points, allowing more camping abilities. That's great news for @Bones, @Randall Fragg, @Optimus Prime, Burned Man, BOLDYSPICY!, and, of course, Smutley himself.

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We're just blazing through these. Nothing can stop us.

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This party's so badass it cures negative quirks while adventuring. The only thing that can maybe hold us up is if we run int--

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NO

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NO

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FUCK

So our team of Neophytes throws themselves in against the Shambler. Remember when this motherfucker was the hardest thing ever? He still is, but he's nowhere near as nightmarish as he used to be. Still, the group's in for the fight of their lives....

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The team hits upon a desperate gambit; Ginger and Hodor stack bleed and blight on the fucker while patchwork heals and Smutley swings his sword and ballsack around.

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The gambit pays off and the team wins with Patchwork only barely afflicted, and having struck the last blow on the Shambler with a mace to the face.

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One hell of a reward, too! This is going right on Patchwork!

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The team celebrates with cookies and prepares for the last leg of the trip.

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...Only for the campsite to be attacked in the middle of the night.

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Patchwork ain't having any of that.

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The team quickly dispatches them with aggression and skill.

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Finally, the last leg of this trip.

Back at town, an asshole has resurfaced:

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@Ravelord yells at him drunkenly yells at him to fuck off. As the mission must go on, a team is gotten goether to raid for more blood and supplies. This should mak--

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....Oh bother.
 
MACE TO THE FUCKING ELDRITCH FACE
ahem Oh look I barely dodged the dude. Godspeed to the unlucky vampire(s).
 
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I mean, that's cool and all, but I'd like to see @Hodor dig a grave (to get at the delicious treasure inside) with a damn sword.

(I love the skins by the way, only the second time I've seen them)
 
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So the team of @Ambivalenz, @KidKitty, @Solzhenitsyn, and @BOLDYSPICY! enters the warrens.

Madness can take many forms, but none so contemptible as man's belief in a mythology of his own making. A world view buttressed by dogmatic desperation invariably leads to single-minded fanaticism, and a need to do terrible things in the name of righteousness. This man is an animal - rabid, destructive, and incapable of nuanced understanding. He. must. be. put. down.

We've faced eldritch horrors, giant pig-men, evil sexy fish, and the bone zone. One might reasonably assume that a heavily-armed religious fundamentalist with delusions of grandeur would be kind of tame in comparison.

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...So brace yourself, because this asshole is terrifying.

Equipped with tons of attacks, 3 actions a round, and attack power to spare, this fucker is capable of taking on even the toughest parties and winning. Even worse, he moves around constantly during the fight, which means the ability to hit the back ranks is vital. It's a good thing I went with Boldy's team, because if I didn't, and had gone with @Jaimas' team, @Burned Man and friends, or even @Curt Sibling or @Smutley's parties, we wouldn't have survived.

Really, I think of our available groups, only @Techpriest's team could reliably take this fucker down otherwise. It's a very nasty boss.

He also gets surprise when he shows up. Presumably because he sets up his personal killing field well in advance.

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His only vulnerability is a susceptibility to bleed (owing to his three rounds a turn and meager bleed resist). Because of that, characters like Boldy's team are good choices. Other good picks are the Flagellant, Bounty Hunter, and Highwayman, the latter less because his bleed is good and more because Duelist's Riposte will help a lot.

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The Fanatic's main MO is pronouncing judgment on a hero, which works like the Hag's cauldron.

Exactly like the Hag's Cauldron, in fact.

Once he has a burning victim, he'll read from his book and yell about how corrupt you faggots are, giving him a ridiculously big defensive buff (again, Bleed is your friend). He'll also brand your heroes (marking them and inflicting Horror), throw stakes at them (High damage, especially versus Marked targets), and smash your party with his hammer (stun and damage). You'll want to bring Laudanum for this fight. Usually you can ignore it, but trust me, you'll want it for this one. The last thing you want is an affliction facing this particular boss.

A reliable tactic might be to bring a bunch of dodge buffs (to avoid the judgment) and then just pound him to shit. I'll try it if I fight him again.

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This dude's got probably one of the most intimidating fight scenes, too. The music of his area is punctuated with the roaring inferno and the screams of the condemned. KidKitty is having none of this asshole's shit and takes a sickle right to him.

A curious side-note I noticed during this fight is that he's loaded - and I mean loaded with trinkets for various classes:
* Multiple Martyr's Seals (on armor)
* Fortifying Garlic (as a necklace)
* Book of Holiness (on belt)
* Holy Orders (worn around neck)
* Glittering Spaulders (right shoulder)

Nice touch, really.

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The guy does not let up and the bleeds just don't stick. He throws Ambivalenz back in the pyre and the team throws everything they have at bleeding this fucker out.

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He continues to fight with the fury of a zealot, and while the group hits hard, it's not long at all before Ambivalenz is brought to death's door. Thankfully a timely swing by Boldy cuts her free, and she's back in the thick of it soonafter. With the Fanatic focusing everything on murdering KidKitty right now, he wastes Judgment after Judgment missing KidKitty due to the wily Jester's obscene dodge rate.

Finally, a loud "Sic 'em!" bellows from the back of the team's ranks, and without warning, the Hounds are unleashed.

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Solz' pupper charges forward and leaps on the Fanatic, tearing out his throat and leaving his spasming carcass amidst the pyres.

The team takes home a stately bounty - a Crimson Court trinket (Rat Carcass), and like 60 Crests. But what's this?

He drops two of a new item, called "The Cure." Can this medicine really cure the Crimson Curse?

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Solz tests it - and it works. Which brings home a horrific realization:

THIS MOTHERFUCKER WAS SITTING ON THE FUCKING CURE THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME.
He could cure the fucking infection, but he doesn't. He keeps it solely so he can treat himself if the cocksucker gets re-infected.
He just wanted an excuse to fucking burn things.

Jesus Christ, we're in a setting where our Ancestor murdered and betrayed his way into the arms of the supernatural, and somehow this guy still comes across as a bigger prick. That's a fucking accomplishment.

Bringing the remaining dose home so that @Shuu Iwamine can synthesize an antidote, the group returns to base and seeks treatment for blunt force trauma and third degree burns.
 
Meanwhile, in preparation for their trips into the garden once more, @vertexwindi, @Collections Agent, @Darwin Watterson, and @Curt Sibling proceed into the ruins with their new gear.

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Looking stylish, the group proceeds on.

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With his new sword and gear, Collections poses quite a threat to those who would stand in their way.

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Curt is lethal as ever as well, of course.

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An interesting (and cute) sidenote is that Collections responds to attacks by using the Dark Hand to defend himself. Now that is a fucking great touch.

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Vertex does not tolerate enemy crossbowmen.

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At the campfire that night, the team preps for their next move. I really like just how robust these skin mods are; they're awesome in general and I especially like that you can use them or not with each character so you can give the team some variety.

A comparatively uneventful medium mission later, the group returns to base.

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@patchwork had a wild night, it seems.
 
Proceeding deeper in, a team of @Bones, @Computery Guy, @AngeloTheWizard, and @Mysterious Capitalist are making their first foray into the dungeons.

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Dear god, that's a sexy Abomination. In a world full of scarred flesh and emovers, Bones has a more gothic look. It rules.

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Compared to @Ol'_Slag, Capitalist, shown here with his actual character name (That one's for you, @Francis York Morgan) relies more on brute force and close-combat. His main attack doesn't open up bleeds like Slag's, but does substantially more damage per hit. This is really handy where the group is going because only Bones is the level he's supposed to be!

Speaking of, Bones' transformed state.... Well.

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Apparently the Shrieker isn't an isolated occurrence. Some Abominations turn into Bird Demons rather than Wolf Demons. Holy shit.

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Computery Guy is similar to KidKitty but fights much more aggressively. Pop in, pop back, bleed, and then Finale. The result is a jester that hits a bit harder and lacks KidKitty's complete inability to be hit.

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Despite stress buildup, our team is doing well. Angelo does a bang-up job making everyone healthy and debuffing foes for the team to tear into.

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A few brutal fights later and the team is successful, and only will need like 3 weeks to rest off the negative quirks, diseases, and stress.
 
I like to imagine my songs of choice as a Jester are assorted educational songs that quickly devolve into craziness. Just for the theme.

Edit: "What's that? Swine Food Carts? Swine Food Carts make your teeth go gray!"
 
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