Let's Sperg Darkest Dungeon Let's Sperg: Part 3 - You Maniacs! You got Bloodborne in my Darkest Dungeon!

[Jaimas]

I'll be on standby in case you need the cavalry. The dog-based cavalry.

Soon, old friend.

I wish I had tits that sweet in my character model too.

They're working on it.

*makes an overused joke about groping swipe*

The internet will bolt tits onto anything, cans of mountain dew, wasps, planes - it's not really that strange that tits would be intoduced here too.

Funnily enough, Vestal's the one it probably makes least sense for backstory-wise, for her gender at least. Gender wise, it would still make less sense to give a Man-at-arms a pair of boobs, but I should probably stop typing in case the internet causes it to exist.

Soon.

Anyway.

One last supply run before the run at the Viscount, and @AnOminous, @Wallace, @Meowthkip, and @A Random are reunited to answer the call. This time they're headed to the Warrens, to steal food back from the Swine.

Things haven't really changed since the last time, but since pretty much everyone but Wallace is infected with Vampirism right now, the biggest threat of the Warrens, the disease, doesn't really pose any threat. This must be how @Burned Man feels.

Meowthkip tolerates no sass from giant maggots.

Or fugly pigmen.

The dungeon advances smoothly, even with the team being hit hard by the opposition. Wallace stuns the enemies for a quick follow-up, prepping the way so AnOminous can finish off the beast.

Meowth and Random, meanwhile, pick off the stragglers.

It's not long before the team's shredded their way through ghouls and pigs, and found the first 2 sacks in the same hallway.

The team then breaks through a rubble barricade and finds the third one a room away.

The team leaves after three fucking fights.

 

[Meowthkip]

I don't take no sass from giant maggots or fugly pigmen IRL either.

 

[Jaimas]

It's time....

The Viscount awaits.

@Curt Sibling, @Collections Agent, @Darwn Watterson, and @vertexwindi have proceeded into the thicket. This would be their last time in this hellhole; the Viscount would not be escaping this one.

The last gate lies ahead, requiring the Key of Anger, from last time.

The area is surrounded with food trays. Comestibles everywhere. Fitting, considering the gourmand fiend.

And low, the feast begins. The Viscount is a terrible foe, having hung the remains of several past victims from his lair - all, terrifyingly, still somehow partially alive, and in various states of being - one wasting and thin, one comparatively fresh, one bloated to bursting from being overfed, and the Viscount will sample of these delights during the fight. He'll heal a bit depending on which he eats (the bigger the body, the more he heals), gets different buffs (and debuffs) depending on which he consumes, and he gets three actions a turn just for spice!

You can use stuns to thin his actions slightly, and this is an option to mitigate his shit a bit, as Curt demonstrates, but this is only one part of the battle.

With three actions and a host of different strikes, this fiend stands tough. He boosts stress often, and can riposte, which makes him a nuisance, but without the benefit of the buffs from the bodies, he's not a hugely powerful hitter, interestingly enough.

Between his self-healing and willingness to eat chunks of these bodies, the group must engage in a brutal war of attrition. This is especially true because this disgusting motherfucker heals status effects every time he takes a snack.

Thankfully, he has one big weakness you can abuse!

Whenever he eats a body, the Viscount also gets every debuff, mark, and status effect loaded on that body. So by loading a body up with bleed and blight, you can get this asshole to take a nibble, then load himself with the fucking pain.

And that's exactly what we do, by having Curt and friends hack up the bodies so only one remains to snack on.

With three actions, though, the Viscount isn't to be taken lightly, especially with that fucking Riposte he has.

Especially since even with his status effects wearing off quick, he can bring the thunder himself.

Finally though, the ploy works. The dumbass eats a marked, bleeding body, and then Collections makes the harvest begin.

To keep him from recovering, Vertex picks off his last remaining snack!

Finally, Darwin gets in a massive Falcon Punch that lacerates the fiend heavily. He has no chance to survive.

His time is made. The beast is dead.

Back in town, the Kiwis recover from Vampire Cancer.

The biggest takeaway from the last mission was completing @Varg Did Nothing Wrong's trinket set, giving him amplified riposte damage and mighty debuffing power. This will keep him in the fight no matter what!

Only one obstacle remains.... And we face the toughest challenge of them all.

 

[Burned Man]

When I saw the mention I thought I had finally came out of my survivor's guilt based retirement. Oh well at least the vampire curse has subsided for now that should keep the fanatic away.

 

[Jaimas]

When I saw the mention I thought I had finally came out of my survivor's guilt based retirement. Oh well at least the vampire curse has subsided for now that should keep the fanatic away.

Soon.

 

[Curt Sibling]

Spoiler: Seriously awesome thread! BTW - I made some DD artwork for a dude on DA...

 

[Randall Fragg]

Currently trying to get the In Such Haste achievement (complete the game within 99 weeks), and it's proving...difficult.
Had a near TPK on the first darkest dungeon mission, lost a Flagellant, Jester, and Bounty Hunter. This is coming off of a near wipe on the Crew (Pit Fighter mod class, HWM, BH, and Vestal). Bounty Hunter went down, everyone was afflicted, and we weren't doing enough damage to take out the Anchorman and damage the crew. The following Leper-Shieldbreaker-BH-Vestal run was much more successful, stacked a bunch of blight on the main crew to help offset the heals, cut down the Anchorman with the Leper, and used Bounty to mark and clean-up as necessary.
The Shieldbreaker is a very interesting class, and it meshes well with a dancing party setup (with other classes that can move around and work from multiple positions). She's essentially a tank-buster and can cut through enemy protection, break guards and pull up annoying little stress wizards, and inflict some decent blight. Her camping skills are also very useful, such as being able to grant her armor piercing ability to allies, guarding against Marking, and buffing her blight. Of course, if you do bring her on a camping mission, well, just make sure you buff her Virtue chance...

 

[c-no]

@Jaimas, please tell me I'll be used in the fight against the Countess. If I couldn't kill the Heart of Darkness then at least let me fight the Countess. Even if I die, it's like dying in a blaze of glory at least.

 

[AnOminous]

I'm still at the point where I get ass raped on Radiant mode in the first Courtyard mission. Of course I screwed up horribly and took along a character who literally had nowhere to stand where they could actually do anything because of not having yet figured that stuff out. So I basically had three characters. (It was the Shielbreaker actually and I'd failed to grasp the mechanics of the character.) It's surprising I finished the mission at all considering I had encountered and run away from the Crocodilian once and then went back to score a Pyrrhic victory with everyone dying but my original Crusader (including a slightly leveled Highwayman), and the Crusader at Death's Door.

Not to mention being stupid enough to try to attack the plants repeatedly. I suppose I should be reasonably pleased I won that at all.

 

[Jaimas]

I'm still at the point where I get ass raped on Radiant mode in the first Courtyard mission. Of course I screwed up horribly and took along a character who literally had nowhere to stand where they could actually do anything because of not having yet figured that stuff out. So I basically had three characters. (It was the Shielbreaker actually and I'd failed to grasp the mechanics of the character.) It's surprising I finished the mission at all considering I had encountered and run away from the Crocodilian once and then went back to score a Pyrrhic victory with everyone dying but my original Crusader (including a slightly leveled Highwayman), and the Crusader at Death's Door.

Not to mention being stupid enough to try to attack the plants repeatedly. I suppose I should be reasonably pleased I won that at all.

I'll give tips in your thread.

 

[Sable]

Seriously awesome thread! BTW - I made some DD artwork for a dude on DA...

This sates my earlier lust for a plague doctor pic that I mentioned like months ago, so you've accidentally killed two birds with one stone

fuck editing this post it won't stay edited help me

 

[Jaimas]

And so, we assemble a team to begin the arduous trek through the final major dungeon.

It just dawned on me that the adventures of the (the) Kiwi Farms estate has thus far been going on for a fucking year of real time.

Holy shit. Time to push this thing forward, eh? We have another cutscene, so let's see what happened after Null's ancestor got attacked by the vampire queen at his part--

...Oh. Oh, shit.

Yeah, he's definitely @Null's ancestor.

She fucked him up, but the Ancestor ran her through with a dinner knife and as she lay before him, bleeding out, he elected to do something monumentally bastardly. But how bastardly? We've already seen cannibalism, group sex, and murder at these fucking galas. It's not like he could do something that much wo--

Oh, fuck you.

Fuck. You.

All right, let me break down what the fuck just happened.

Back when he was still a mortal man (and an asshole), the Ancestor saw a particularly enchanting woman at one of the depraved get-togethers the upper crust used to throw. These things were insane affairs, where "do as thou wilt" was the watchword, and something about the predatory vibe this bitch gave off didn't sit well with him. The Ancestor planned to attack her, but when he brought her out on the balcony, exposed to the moonlight, he caught a glimpse of what she truly was right before she attacked.

He lucked out, and stabbed her. Unfortunately, his usual upper-crust depravity kiicked in, and the asshole harvested her blood and created blood-wine from it, instilled with the essence of a predatory woman. Everyone at this party was just as much of a monster as the Ancestor, you see. These times were an interesting one to be alive to say the least.

Those who drank too much of the accursed tannin quickly became ravening, flesh and blood-hungry fiends - the infestation had begun. The few remaining nobles with anything resembling common sense fled for their lives, and most were eaten and sucked dry by their fellows. Virtually none survived. And the ancestor himself?

He had but a sip. Only one, but it was enough to corrupt him. Though not to the extent of the others, the drink had a profound effect on him....

...For he was given true insight - and learned of the beast under the estate.

This was the incident that changed him into something more than a man, and began the family's descent towards ruination.

She lives still - alive, and enraged. She now plans to vent her fury on the (the) Kiwi Farms Estate.

Without a moment to lose, we grab our first exploratory team: @RJ MacReady, @alex_theman, @Burned Man, and the ever-lovely @Ruin.

The Countess dwells in her old keep within the heart of what is now a polluted mire.

The team begins at the entrance to the estate; no matter how many times we visit, I am always unsettled by this infernal place.

We luck out early in the trip as RJ disarms the slime traps and we proceed onward, to find a much-loved prize indeed.

Firewood. We always need it in these epic duration quests.

Enemy opposition in this hell-swamp is the same it's always been: Bloodsuckers and vermin. Unlike the last time they seem to be smarter now, aggressively targetting specifically based on the party's defenses - focusing all stress on Alex and RJ and status effects on Ruin.

Thankfully the team is hardy, and has no problem smashing their way through enemy opposition at this point.

Burned Man throws himself into the thick of it as only he can, his blade having tasted the blood of every tainted champion placed in his path so far, from the corrupted creatures of the Weald to the Heart of Darkness itself. These blood-drinking fiends stand no chance against that kind of conviction.

They do certainly seem to like trying to puke on Ruin, though.

RJ sends Duchess forth and finishes off the enemies with brutal precision.

All of a sudden, however, one of the remaining fiends tears off Ruin's breastplate and flees! What began as a simple attempt to clear the way for the other explorer teams is now a desperate struggle to get back Ruin's gear and not stare in the process.

The group chases the thief over logs and through the tainted glades, but opposition makes itself known. Thankfully, the enemies are as distracted by Ruin as everyone else is, and the team quickly gets to work.

RJ immediately deals with the locals, and the group launches the attack.

The group takes the squad down in record time, because for once they're motivated.

...That's what you get for staring, motherfucker. Don't be rude.

More enemies insist on obstructing the group as they pursue the thief, and they fare no better.

The Kiwis are undeterred.

 

[Jaimas]

As the group presses on in an effort to regain Ruin's gear and thus preserve her stonking great tits, we quickly wind up circling the entrance before being led down a side tunnel.

Ruin keeps the team hale and healthy as they push on through this twisting maze. In contrast to the previous two areas, the layout of this one is much more procedural, with an almost castle-like layout that seems at odds with its presence in a goddamned swamp.

Burned Man gets across why you do not fuck with the Kiwis, and the path is opened up.

The team keeps moving, slashing and burning a meandering path across the estate.

Finally, after all this nonsense, the group apprehends the thief when RJ's doggo delivers the coup de grace.

With Ruin's modesty restored, the group resumes the exploration, and begins by figuring out where they are.

Answer: IN THIS FUCKING PLACE.

Unfortunately, rest that night doesn't come easy and the group is ambushed, while the team wins, boh Ruin and Alex are now afflicted, to the team backs off having cleared the bulk of the entryway and recovering Ruin's armor.

They'll be back.

The team de-stresses back at the base. They've earned it.

 

[Burned Man]

Seems Ruin was not alone in her state of immodesty. Took me a while to notice the bar skeletons had changed.

 

[Jaimas]

Seems Ruin was not alone in her state of immodesty. Took me a while to notice the bar skeletons had changed.

I was genuinely wondering if anyone would even notice.

That one was taken on Halloween, so the Skeletons are on holiday, leaving us with busty angels for that episode and the next one.

With the group either waiting for recovery from stress, bleeding off bad quirks in the Sanitarium, or recovering from Zombie Cancer, @Varg Did Nothing Wrong, @Randall Fragg, @Optimus Prime, and @Techpriest are sent into the cove to delay the fishmen's efforts.

This guy shows up. Optimus' music starts blaring:

RAR MOTHERFUCKERS

Not a Kitty immediately moves to shake up the enemy ranks.

Meanwhile, Varg exploits his trinket set to deadly effect. Fucking try cracking this tough nut!

And while Optimus shreds the front line....

Techpriest hammers the back.

Meanwhile, NotAkitty keeps the medicine flowing.

BUSINESS IN THE FRONT

PARTY IN THE BACK

BREAK DOWN THE MIDDLE

AND OVERWHELM

Varg literally fucking yells the enemy party to death. That is the power of his old man skills.

Moving on, we slice through the dungeon and activate more wards.

Finally, the team activates the final one and escapes relatively injury-free.

Meanwhile, @Feline Darkmage, @CrunkLord420, @Mysterious Capitalist, and @Bob's Axe make their way through the bushlands in their effort to hit the level cap.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

Meanwhile, @Feline Darkmage, @CrunkLord420, @Mysterious Capitalist, and @Bob's Axe make their way through the bushlands in their effort to hit the level cap.

S O O N

 

[Optimus Prime]

Important question: did Techpriest eat his hat?

 

[Jaimas]

Important question: did Techpriest eat his hat?

In the freezing hellhole of the coves, he was forced to eat his Turban.

There was much rejoicing.

He bought a new one though.

 

[Jaimas]

The team of @CrunkLord420, @Feline Darkmage, @Mysterious Capitalist, and @Bob's Axe advances into the Weald, hoping to level up and finance further excursions. This has been a ruinous month, economically, for the (the) Kiwi Farms Estate - completely retooling an entire squad of newbies and treating their myriad medical and psychiatric problems has cost a pretty copper. So begins Operation of Finance Dinner or Fuck Off. In the meantime we'll check out some of these lesser-seen members of our army.

Crunklord has an unusual battlefield role. She moves around a fuck of a lot, so she works really well with her fellow shufflers, Capitalist and Axe. I can definitely see her set up as part of a "fuck everything" team with either a marking party or as a "everyone jests" steam with @KidKitty and company.

Our female Crusader, Axe is a power hitter, striking a blend between raw offense like @Jaimas, Utility like @AnOminous, and aggression like @Curt Sibling (who really needs to do more fanart of this run). Bob's Axe lacks stuns and AOE but instead has healing, which is much more critical.

Darkmage is still developing but is a solid overall Vestal and a definite benefit to have in this team. I tend to use her the same way I do @Ambivalenz, in that she's a rear-row fighter with healing powers and debuff magic. I'm working on her skillset but so far it looks like she'll be using Judgment, Dazzling Light, Divine Comfort, and Divine Grace, making her great for disrupting enemy plans.

Bob's axe actually closes her helmet when fights start. It's cool.

Capitalist greets these mutts in the usual fashion.

No longer does Crunklord need to sit by the sidelines! Her offense is solid. I can see a lot of potential if she can actually get decent quirks. So far RNG has not cooperated, and the best she's gotten is Unyielding.

The new blocking mechanic she brings to the table is powerful, but limited. She can avoid damage entirely for a certain number of blocks, but she still suffers the full effects of the attack otherwise - including poison, bleed, and stress - so she only stops physical damage. Still, that alone is huge and lets her trivialize enemies like this Blighted Giant here.

Capitalist does wind up catching the Red Plague from a zombie though. He walks it off.

The team meanders along, opening doors and stealing treasure.

The group runs into Slimes and a stealthed Crone, but between Capitalist and Crunklord, this bitch isn't stopping us.

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES

@CrunkLord420, please confirm or deny if you've thrown snakes at people IRL please.

About halfway. Things are going well, but we're pretty loaded with treasure right now. Time to rest. After we kill these.

That night, we rest up and prepare for the morning. Crunklord can share with the team the secrets of never being marked, as well as how to pierce enemy defenses. If you're not familiar, the Armor Piercing trait lets you bypass 15% of enemy PROT; this is enough to significantly improve the damage against tougher foes and even bosses. She would have been godly against the Brigand Pounder.

That night, however, something goes wrong.

We're attacked in the middle of the night, and we're dragged into a nightmare. Suddenly we're in the middle of Crunklord's darkest dreams, and we are facing deadly snakes - enemies seen nowhere else. They are strong, venemous, and have high evade rates. Worse, Crunklord is hit with a Horror Proc that will bring her affliction in 4 rounds if these foes aren't brought low first!

Dream or reality, though, nobody fucks with Capitalist's friends.

Axe throws her weight into things as well and stabs her foes up nicely.

Fittingly, Crunklord fights off her fears quite literally, and the rewards.... Well, all correspond to Crunklord, and tell her story...

We also get a unique goodie:

Aegis Scales! They let anyone block like Crunklord, but for only one attack! We also get a unique trinket just for Crunklord. Obviously we need to bring her for more of these, ideally with @Computery Guy.

The group continues their advance, and soon, the mission is complete. The entire squad needs to spend at least a week in the Sanitarium after this due to disease and negative quirks, and we spend like 99% of the money we earned this mission on upgrades for these four characters.

Goddamnit.

 

[SP 199]

Not enough drunken rampaging