DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

Will Smark Guys survive past WrestleMania 2025?

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Tekken cope is off the charts as he announces that he's quitting the game. Turns out these modern fighting games don't reward "natural talent" like Phil has, they only reward time investment and as a variety streamer Phil just doesn't have time to learn how to actually counter these spamming morons, he's got hot new games to play.
yea and looking at his schedule its all RPGs, wasn't he recently crying about how publishers don't meet up to discuss their release schedule and how it might negatively affect Phil? is he banking on battlefront 2 salt to save the business?
 

The delusions are growing stronger with each and every day.
Fighting games today: any retard can pick it up, no arms? Go ahead, just press some buttons.
Fighting games when Dave was a "pro": hard work, discipline, muscle memory, skill, natural talent, intelligence in your head, skill of execution.

Let's hope Dave's back is okay because I'm worried with how much he sucks himself off, he's gonna hurt himself

Bonus points if Phil ever drags that mall trophy out again.
 
Not sure what settings you used. I set my game to "I am new" so I start with either new challengers, Iron, bronze or even Silver. Funny enough thougj with my first char (Manon) I also won 5 or 6 games and the game put me in Iron. Figure that one out.

Though I want to see Phil play as Ed. I mean the first stream will just be combo trials and guide plus casual matches. This is probably just a small potential for salt. On the other hand he hasn't played for probably months so even "casual" matches might him getting his shit pushed in
I also picked "I am new" setting when i first played which was at launch i now have nearly 500 hours in the game with most characters at platinum and one character at legit diamond. When i first started playing i went 2-8 in my Chun-Li placements and got 50lp placing me in rookie, she's at plat 5 now with 1000 wins.

But back on topic I don't think he will go back to SF6 again outside of a special event. He's giving it the SF5 treatment IE at first he loved it but now that he's getting his shit kicked in routinely the game is trash now, give him a few months and he'll be saying that SF6 is worse than 5 and everyone knows it but the pros won't say it publicly because they need the game to do well so they can keep getting money while he can tell the truth because he's not a shill and blah blah blah.

did he get to the tifa bikini section of FF7 yet? can't wait to hear him bitch about that
Not even close to that part yet. I'd say 3-4 streams before he'll get there. He has to do all of Junon's side content, Upper Junon's story, the cruise ship and half of Costa del Sol before he can get to the bikini.

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Like fucking clockwork.

I'm still baffled by Phil's weird logic that companies are intentionally releasing their RPGs at the same time. He seems to think companies regularly communicate release dates and it's not that their bean counters figure out the ideal times to release a game and they all just happen to have RPGs ready to release. Shit he wouldn't even be playing BG3 currently if he had played it when it released instead of coping how it is PC shills overhyping the game and that it will never be popular once that space game comes out, and he hasn't even finished it at over 100 hours in.

Because this is his hobby but also his job and he is entitled to play what he wants and not be constrained by the viewer demands. But this is also his job and he needs tips to support his channel and business so you need to pay him. But he also doesn't play games for money, he doesn't worry about money, and isn't concerned about it. Other khantent creators ditch games when they don't make money, naht him dood!


Same guy who literally goes: "Now guys we have 30 minutes left on stream and only 28 dollars in tips. Please support if you can, I'd really like to hit at least one of my tip goals tonight. This has been one of the slowest streams in a while. Last tip was during the prestream!"
He thinks the industry isn’t big enough to support multiple games at a time

He can't do his own laundry.

He cant swim or ride a bike. Or make scrambled eggs
 
If you don't behave like Phil, you're not only not a scrub, but you will have surpassed him immediately.
Damn it, it really is fun lol. I'm playing casual matches with randos now and it's too flashy to get mad. I don't know if this, like, beginner mode thing it recommends is something I should rely on, with the auto combos and stuff, but it's pretty neat.

I hope he plays it more, it's still the best salt he produces.
 
If you don't behave like Phil, you're not only not a scrub, but you will have surpassed him immediately.
Ah yes. Burnell’s Fighting Game. Similar to Schrodinger’s Cat. Are you a scrub or are you not a scrub? Because the instant you pick up a controller, you’re either both or none, if you’re going by Phil’s logic.
 
Ah yes. Burnell’s Fighting Game. Similar to Schrodinger’s Cat. Are you a scrub or are you not a scrub? Because the instant you pick up a controller, you’re either both or none, if you’re going by Phil’s logic.
The more important deciding factors are: "Did they beat Phil?" and "Are they popular on Twitch/YouTube/Twitter?"

I loved the time on SF6 when he got his shit kicked in like thirty times in a row by that guy playing Jaime. He was full of excuses and insults until he found out it was some big SF6 player, and immediately switched tone to telling the guy on Twitter how great his Jaime skills were and calling the guy Sir.
 
So earlier today on a pre stream rambling, phil did mentionned that he played the old starwars battlefront games...

This might be something not really worth of note except it made me realise there's a pattern with how phil reacts to remakes and remasters: Everytime a remaster is annonced phil suddenly starts to LARP as if he did play all the original games at the time of their release despite being clear proof he didn't.

It's just so strange he acts that way everytime like clockwork. all of that just to appear like an oldfag to three dents that don't see through his transparent LARP...
 
Of course. Two days ago, he was proud of his rank and how much it proved that he's good. After being demoted, everyone but him is a terrible player.

Bonus points if Phil ever drags that mall trophy out again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't that trophy from some shitty mall tourney? Like, not from an actual event where people who actually played Tekken went but some sunday thing with a bunch of kids that were probably passing by? I love the idea of 20 y/o Phil beating literal children while seething whenever one got a round on him. Bonus points if Dave or Linda are there and embarrassed to say Phil is their son.
NVM I'm fucking retarded and skipped the "mall" part of your post
 
So much for that whole resolution of not being toxic anymore in fighting games. It's night and day how different he acted in public at FGC tourneys. Phil never acted like a massive crybaby and would shuffle off in silence mulling over the fact he is a above-average scrub player. His narc ego is really fucking bruised from getting his ass handed to him, especially since he can't comprehend all these ranking systems mean jack fucking shit. If he realized that though, he'd somehow twist it into that the game devs are retards who don't understand fighting games and how rankings work and he is actually right somehow.
I'd love to know how many hours of the day this paper-skinned nigger spends approving/disapproving YouTube comments. What a narcissistic faggot.
I like to imagine he reads them with a bottle of gin in hand so he can cope and mumble to himself like the increasingly deranged retard he is. I swear there have been a few times he has been caught literally talking to himself on stream when he thinks he is muted.
 
Phil's entire YT comment rant didn't even make sense.

He wants people to comment more to help out his dead channels. Phil used to have his chat locked down to protect his viewer from degenerate trolls, but YT auto-deletes their comments, so no one ever gets to read them. Chat complains that people don't want to chat, because their comments won't actually show up until a day later. Phil says he has to do that to protect himself and his family from doxxing and harassment.

If YT automatically deletes troll comments, chat approval isn't necessary. Phil just doesn't want TIHYDP to be able to use comments again or chatters talking about what a scrub he is in Tekken 8. His own ego gets in the way of improving his channels.
 
I only saw his little rant today about how Tekken 8 proves that rollback netcode is shit. Is he incapable of being correct about anything ever? He clearly has no fucking clue how rollback works. Yet he keeps saying it.

His proof is that he loses to button mashers in Tekken, but loses to dropped inputs in SF. Never change, Phil.
 
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Again Phil being his worst enemy. There's no point to any of his Tekken 8 incoherent ramblings about scrubs and the MKUltra conspiracy to deny The Great Darksy of his Tekken God Prime rank or whatever. He picked an unpopular character. He dived deep into the early days of ranked to fight the army of scrubs. He flowed his charts. The most you can say about The Guy is that he made it further than Low Tier God and that's about it. The ranks themselves are designed to push you forward. For fuck's sakes the only rank you can reasonably start losing points at is Red, where coincidentally most of the community sits. Play enough and you're guaranteed at least Red. It's just like Street Fighter and how everyone and their dog that just plays enough is Master.

I don't know if it was intentional, but the way he went about his ranked climb wasn't exactly challenging, either. Playing mostly mornings, which means he was essentially ranking up off of school skippers and stay at homers, picking the one character who is generally regarded as strong but also extremely unpopular and flowcharting people to death with him, spamming launchers and mashing out of turn almost every chance he got. The two positives he had were "At least he accepted most fights and rematches" and "At least he wasn't teleport spamming and shooting his way to Tekken God Prime with Victor." Made it to purple, got demoted to reds. Ultimately he's where most of the community is: Filtered at purples, when the grind gets real and you have to actually reliably win to move forward. Most of his rivals were not particularly good. Most of the ones that got him had the basics of frame data down and some good guesswork, but you barely saw any competent players. Even the ones that Phil felt like paying lip service to were kinda average: A Claudio who "Locked him down" stands out who basically just spammed a ton of Ira and New and Improved Heat Ira (The superman punch) and frametraps are just the bane of the Pigroach since forever, so he couldn't do jack shit to the man.

No disrespect to the Claudio player, he certainly cooked Phil, but Claudio is a pretty basic, almost completely honest character that really isn't all that tricky to deal with. You can duck Ira or you can sidewalk it to the right. It's got great startup but it whiffs horribly, so you cut Claudio off from that and you've just torpedoed his approach almost entirely. He's also got no power lows that aren't super risky, and his heat isn't all that great. His mids are all lukewarm, as well. And his throw game is middling, as well. It really goes to show how Phil just can't deal with even the most basic stuff. Claudio's mostly working with single hits. It's not like an Azucena going ham where you're gonna be knowledge checked a shit ton. Phil should have been able to do at least a little better coasting on his prized fundamentals.

His gameplay was the same old same old. You know what to expect here, except with the added excitement of Tekken being generally pretty demanding execution wise. His combos were fair but not optimized. Certainly less shit than they used to be in Tekken 7. A lot of that has to do with the game easing up on the execution demands though. His usual gameplay was ported over to Tekken. Jab N' Grab. Cancel animation and grab. Low and grab. Yoshimitsu's Rainbow Drop was carrying him most of the time. A thing I've noticed is that neither him nor his opponents seemed to mid check pretty much ever. It was all jabs and lows with almost no mids to be spotted. So basically you could take him out by just ducking everything or keeping him out with mids. Ocasionally flash, which he completely stopped using after it got nerfed, poison breath, some really fucking random kangaroo kicks and more random avoiding the puddles to crush lows. No f,f+2, no backturned stuff, lots of d+b 1, 2 and random yolo knee launchers. All in all Phil plays Yoshimitsu like a green rank would. In a way, it's impressive that he did get so far. Until you realize that Tekken 8 ranks are very lenient with pushing you upwards, at least.

Over the course of this playthrough he never picked a character below top ten, except for maybe Paul, who, well, is still Paul, and can still blow you up in three shots. Phil didn't seem to like how Phoenix Smasher got turned into a utility heat move rather than the usual unga bunga push to make enemy lifebar dissapear. He also never got a single just frame Demoman, or at least I didn't see it. As for King, lots of TIJUANA TWISTER BABY and GIANT SWING BABY! BOOM! as per usual. Giddy when dunking on scrubs, sad when he got manhandled. Even though his gameplay was grab, grab, and grab, he switched over to Yoshi fairly quickly. I suppose he struggled with King's gameplan. He did get a rolling death cradle once and seemed really pleased with himself though.

He also played Jun for a spell while she was outrageously busted and dropped her when she got nerfed. Made her look like Kat. Pretty disgusting all in all. Those streams are just that one ten frame move, U+F+1? The 10 frame knockdown bullshit. And a looooot of spammed launchers made safe with Jun's unique mechanic where she shoots lightbeams after those. You could just tell she had essentially a boss moveset that hadn't been properly tuned since the days of Tag 2 where she was the final boss.

He could have just said "Look, I'm kinda washed, I'm old, I was never that good at Tekken to begin with and I'm happy I made it to purple ranks. I feel I've hit a wall now and unless y'all dents are willing to pay me to make Tekken a regular thing, it's as far as I can go without a bigger time investment to lab every little thing." Coincidentally, you can learn the entirety of a Tekken game in about two weeks of diligent study, depending on personal competence and some other factors. Phil wants to make it seem like this arduous task that's borderline impossible but it's pretty doable. Specially if you're a streamer who sits on his ass all day, uses disposable plates to not have to wash and lets their house fall into entropy because too lazy to do anything about it. Cough cough. Just cut a bit of unwinding time with the BBKhet, man. She'll understand. Promise her that you'll use the tips from further Tekken to get the extra fancy doordash.

However, I sincerely doubt The Guy can retain a single Tekken character's movelist in his gin-fried brain, let alone every single character's, which is the STARTING POINT to consider yourself decent at Tekken. His memory never seemed particularly strong; Hell, it really seems like he doesn't even remember every move with frame data in Street Fighter, and that game has around 15 moves per character, tops. With a shitload of common ground between moves as well. Most jabs are 3-5 frames depending on your dude's weight class. Tekken has ~100. Hwoarang, Steve and other stance characters have ~180. And a lot of them have frame data that follows rules of balancing which don't immediately make sense. Specially compared to modern Street Fighter, Tekken has always been a big boy game. Even moving has a lot of tech to it with sidestep cancels, backdash cancels, wavedashing, reverse wavedashing which only a few characters have and is usually not even worth it, Hwoarang's absurdly difficult backdash stance cancels...

Look, Tekken is generally a very difficult game and learning it is doable, but still daunting. Phil's been playing it on and off for nearly 30 years and he STILL doesn't even have a backdash cancel. He doesn't have a sidestep block. He doesn't have movement. At all. His hopes of playing high level Tekken were clearly stomped on at the starting line. I know narc ego is a thing that lets them thing they can conquer the world armed with a spoon but surely, this dumb motherfucker couldn't have POSSIBLY thought that he was gonna be fighting it out with the 'Murican competitive scene of Tekken. Granted there's some dudes hanging who are a little worse than the rest like Lil Majin, who is pretty much the only professional you'll see that can't throwbreak, but Joey Fury, Shadow20 or even midcard talent like Just Frame James would surgically dismantle the Pigroach in 25 seconds flat. God forbid someone like JimmyJTran getting his hands on Phil. The ensuing slaughter would provide the entirety of the American continent with Pigroach bacon for the next 29 years. Fuck, I think even Aris could give him the asswhooping of a lifetime. We've seen the 13-0 in Street Fighter with NYChrisG. Phil would struggle to even land hits on any of these dudes in Tekken.

In short, The Guy wasn't gonna win tournaments of anything, that much was clear. But him legitimately thinking that he could be something in Tekken is borderline delusional. Most 3D fighting games are dominated by maybe five to ten guys, and the rest of the community is varying degrees of competence. These games don't even get close to perfect play like Street Fighter does. This is, again, attempt #348 at being a gouty, pudgy, unwashed clone of Max Dood. Phil wishes he could be Max so bad. Max is actually charismatic enough to just be a professional shill for videogames. There's no way Phil could sell the Pay To Win mess that is MK1 Peacemaker in a believable way. For all his gametime in fighting games, he's got nothing but the most basic of combos, the lamest of tick throw setups and can't even break down a single character to save his life. There's just no niche he can fill as a fighting game content creator, to be honest. If he expected to make it in one of the big boy (Street Fighter, Tekken, Virtua Fighter, Smash) games, it'd take a biblical amount of work to turn this around.

I'll say this though: It's not like he's completely hopeless at fighting games, he just keeps picking ones where he obviously can't hang. He could just pick a zoner, learn some bullshit strats and play Netherrealm stuff and do fairly well, even at top level online. The average player level where it's mostly average guys and then one or two extremely good players, and the really weird balancing in those games make it possible for dudes to literally win tournaments just spamming Sheeva stomps, as recently as MK11, from what I read. Character guides and sharing knowledge would come naturally after that. Even today, he could just hit up DasBoDent to do some acceptable editing for free and put out some character guides for Netherrealm games and people would probably watch. Competition is sparse and most styles are actually pretty close to the real Phil. Asides from KetchupAndMustard, there's no real standouts. The Pigroach, surprisingly, still has success within reach. He'd be great at Netherrealm games, where his luck stat and knack for exploiting bullshit could easily carry him to high ranks, if not top ranks. I think learning how to flowchart people to death in something where that's the whole point is within his grasp. No kidding.

Plus, I think it's undeniable Phil would get views if he suddenly started fighting at high level, or just fighting pros. Doubt many people would be invested in his journey or rooting for him, but he'd put asses in seats for sure. A big part of why LTG dodged him is how radioactive he is, but either way DSP gets 0-20'd by a pro or DSP manages to scrub out a win against a pro make for a really interesting headline. People love a good dunk tank show. Same reason seeing Phil get his lights punched out in a boxing ring would go viral.

However, I think it's a foregone conclusion- Every fighting game is gonna walk the plank eventually. When the dents support him no matter how slowly he wades his way through another JRPG and no matter how much he butchers playthroughs, there's no reason to play difficult games over baby ones. Or picking multiplayer where it'll be obvious how garbage he is over singleplayers on normal where his ten to twenty minutes of struggling will be peppered over a 300 hour playthrough, so it's unlikely to even get found anyway. It's not like Phil would see fighting games to the end, I.E ranking all the way up and hitting up tournaments, even if online only, or holding some of his own, even though it would be arguably the only way he could get in the spotlight.

Nah, Phil's happy with his diminishing returns on his dent squeezing business because fuck, it's still good enough to live on and OIC and Jeff aren't gonna rock the boat any time soon. Ironically, supporting Phil so much has turned it into a pointless endeavor: The Guy is never gonna just find success outside of begging to his 4 or 5 whales daily for rent money. When Keemstar told him that he had to get out of Level 1, it wasn't just to be an asshole, even if that was a big part of it. Unless your fans can at least delude themselves into thinking that you might just make it as a professional entertainer, sane people aren't gonna just agree to pay your bills forever as you quietly fade into obscurity while providing less and less entertainment on your way out. Specially when there's plenty of competition offering more and better.

Personally I gotta say that The Guy is borderline unwatchable even through restreams or TIHYDPs now. He's still full of shit about games and generally an idiot. He's still horribly incompetent. You just gotta put up with his long winded coping sessions, breaks, watching chat and stalling. He's okay-ish for background noise, as long as you're not wearing headphones so he doesn't turbosnort in your ear, but so are a million other streamers. Honestly this plan he has of just becoming the most boring man alive and milking his dents in peace might fail sooner than he anticipates. Certainly won't hold an audience to fund his retirement from games if he keeps this up for very long. If the tumbleweed chat and declining viewcounts are any indication, he's 99% propped up by viewbots nowadays. Not that that's uncommon in itself, but other streamers are better at keeping up the façade of success: That helps with garnering support thanks to social confirmation bias. People are more likely to give money to someone who doesn't even need it. Isn't that ironic?

Guess we might as well get comfy for the new era of DSPahliticks, easy turnbased RPGs played rigurously on normal at half the speed a casual gamer's wife would be able to do it, and walksims. For fuck's sakes, OIC, light a fire under the Pigroach's ass already. Tell him no money for Doordash unless he picks multiplayer games only.
 
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