This thread seems a little dead and I want to resurrect it. Here's a review I wrote of David's first arc back in January 2014. (Beware, this review is 2914 words long.) Also, I haven't saved David's comic. My apologies.
Hello, everyone.
First off, in my opinion, I don’t think Jack’s first arc is all that bad. I think it could have been much better, as shown by artist-guy on the Kate forum. But I feel as if David did fairly well with this little endeavour of his.
Honestly. The art is quite good, with a nice scratchy look about it. It’s in colour! And that first page; those wicked eyes! Those devilish fingers. I’m being honest when I argue that the first arc has a really nice look about it.
But in my opinion, that first page of Jack did more for the comic than any other. Words and irrelevant because that image alone represents the feeling I think is most important when it comes to Jack. Because what is jack about? Jack is about murder, rape, Hell, the world’s strongest evil and the dark side of religion. This first image may not speak of religion and Hell, but fuck me does it portray evil flawlessly! Inarguably, the greatest thing to come out of the entirety of Jack.
However, after the first image, how good is it truly? Well, honestly, I feel that it does a decent job of showing Fnar’s death as an unborn. Fnar looks creepy, delightfully ugly in fact, and it even shows Fnar tugging onto his umbilical cord as he drowns out in the darkness, a good symbol for death; falling, drowning. Ooh it’s good. A little grammatical misstep with “Where are you mother[?]”, but that’s okay.
Next we have some dude collecting Fnar. This dude is called Jack, Death, the Grim Reaper and the fucking Ferryman! This is the dude no one want to die when the die. Anyhoo. This page then develops Fnar, as this young innocent child. First off, I kind of dislike how Fnar is able to talk. You learn how to talk if you are born through your parents and community. Furthermore, how does Fnar know what playing is? Fnar is a foetus, not a child. There’s a difference. Still, we learn about Fnar and that he’ll be spending his time with his mother. First off, we know this isn’t true because later in the comic Fnar spends relatively little time with his mother, even when she’s let off the wall for recognising her sins - that’s she should have been Fnar’s mother. Yeah, get used to talk about mothers in this fucking comic.
Also, what the fuck does Fnar mean? Fnar? That’s an exceedingly strange name, don’t you think? So what does it mean? Well, it means For No Apparent Reason. Right, in the second page Fnar said his mother and father both want him. Fnar’s father, Drip the serial killer/rapist who currently embodies the Sin of Lust, most likely doesn’t want to fucking settle down. Also, the cold steal refers to Fnar death, where Fnar’s mother, Jink, was stabbed in the stomach with a knife, killing both of them. Pretty grisly, right? You see why I used to love this comic? Still, though, there seems to be a fair amount I can already question about this comic, taking into account my deep knowledge of the comic.
Also, how the fuck does Jack know Fnar’s name? Did Jink tell Jack? I would have to assume Jack’s already collected her then. Makes enough sense to me. I know Jack’s the Grim Reaper and all, but he isn’t omniscient. But if a foetus can talk, why the fuck not?!
Furthermore, the art on this third page is rather appropriate; the colours are so vivid, differentiated and nice, despite the ridiculousness of Jack having green fingernails. Still, the colours are vibrant and Jack’s face in the bottom right-hand corner is just beautiful. I’m serious! It’s really fucking great. Those awesome red eyes, the shadows covering his face, the mangled, creepily bent scythe is cool as hell and that odd strand of hair is very unique. I love it! However, as well all know, Jack is a rabbit with a fucking dog’s nose! That is ridiculous!
And as a side note, Jack was the first Furry of his kind created. Now, the furries were explicitly created by man - with science! - for a - fucking still! - currently unknown reason. Well, Kane had a God complex, but that doesn’t explain any other person’s involvement, how they got funding, from who/whom, why they funded Kane, how Kane got the legal the legal rights, who wanted this, and much, much fucking more. I mean, what was even the purpose of creating sentient, human like animals? I, as well as a myriad of others, are still futilely waiting for that blasted answer!
As well as that, though, David’s never once tackled the topic of scientific evolution - transhumanism, h+. Like, this is a huge fucking topic, guys! And with the comic centred on Christian mythology, it would be a truly interesting story don’t you think? I mean, that’s a huge fucking part of the problem, David! Have you ever played Deus Ex: Human Revolution? I hope so.
Nevertheless, I’m getting off topic. All that I just mentioned is really for another review. Anyway! To finish on page three, the art’s good, except those weird fucking fingers which bend at seven points, there are many flaws in the narrative, and that wicked ‘feel’ Jack has it rich! Oh, and the grammar is still very poor. Missing commas, apostrophes, bad sentence structure, the whole David Hopkins works! But I’ll stop mentioning the abhorrent grammar now, otherwise it’ll take up half the fucking review.
Onto the fourth page!
Jack tells Fnar that he’s taking Fnar to Hell. Fnar assumes that Hell’s a bad place; how does Fnar know this? Also… fucking why?! Fnar should be reborn or something, right? Furthermore, Hell won’t have any effect on Fnar? Again why? Onwards we learnt that Drip and Jink can affect Fnar, though. This is because they’re Fnar parents. This is never truly explained why. You’ll begin to see a running theme here.
Regardless, Jack does tell Fnar and the reader why Hell won’t affect him; because he’s derpy. Seriously, Fnar’s innocent and ignorant, unknowing of Hell and its content, so it can’t affect him. This is because Adam and Eve, in the Garden of Eden, were free from pain and suffering prior to when they traded innocence for knowledge. Knowledge isn’t a bad thing, we all know this. But Biblically speaking, Adam and Eve betrayed God’s trust, and now everyone else is paying for it. I won’t debate religion here, though, just how well David uses the Christian faith - and Muslim faith at one point - in Jack.
My main problem with Fnar’s expulsion to Hell is that he deserves to go to Heaven or Earth, not Hell. Also, Fnar isn’t in Hell, he’s in fucking Hell. So surely Fnar will be able to learn, right? He learned about Hell being a bad place and about the English language, so obviously Fnar isn’t too derpy, although he still is. So essentially, Fnar shouldn’t be in Hell. He really shouldn’t. But alas, dear audience, we eventually learn why Fnar was put in Hell, as part of God’s plan in some way. Farrago, an angel we’ll meet later on, apparently had some say in getting Jack to keep Fnar in Hell. How Farrago had this say, I don’t fucking know. But she did. She did this so that Jack would have some company, despite the unending threat of the Sin and embodiment of fucking Lust being his arse fucking father! Sure, no else but Jink is a problem, but Drip sure as shit fucking is!
Simply put, this is just bad right now. When it comes to it, this is just terrible.
The art on the fourth page, though? Again, pretty good. It’s creepy, unearthly, weird and unwelcoming. It’s ugly and freaky, and it reeks of evil. That’s what I loved about it, damn it! It’s a shame the storytelling is so fucking shit!
Eventually we see Fnar meeting his mother, Jink, who’s in Hell glued to a wall. She, apparently, is in Hell for the same reasons Jack is; Jack killed the entire human population and Jink assisted in the rapes and murders of many other innocent people alongside her partner on Earth, Drip. First off, David, Jack is not in Hell for identical reasons to Jink. If that were the case, there should be two Grim Reapers, dude. Oh God is just realised how ugly Jack’s hand looks as he’s holding his staff in the bottom left panel… actually, all the hands look fucking funky as hell! I mean, David has never been able to draw hands, but fuck me! Seriously, though, hands are David’s Achilles heel. He just can’t fucking do it. And he’ll never be able to.
Whatever. Moving onwards, as the final point for the first arc, Fnar loses his nose to a stray bird. First off, I thought Fnar parents were the only ones that could harm Fnar! Also, how the fuck does one steal a fucking nose!? Why doesn’t Fnar even seem remotely annoyed by this? How and why the fuck is there a fucking raven, or whatever kind of bird it is, flying merrily around in Hell? Why would a bird steal a nose, too? And why the fuck would this ever fucking happen, ever?! Does Jack see the bird? If so, why doesn’t he swat it away? I don’t want to lose my fucking nose, why isn’t Jack or Fnar even remotely annoyed by this audacious fucking bird?
As an interesting side point, by the way, is that there are non-anthropomorphic animals in Hell, and I assume, on Earth. What do the furries on Earth think of this? How do they feel about this? What do they do about this? Imagine seeing a human being truly act like literally any animal - because apparently the humans wanted every fucking animals, insect and fish on Earth to become a fucking sentient animal! Seriously, in the cliff series of comics, there’s a fucking squid-man. There are also alien and insects. What fucking human wanted an insect to talk? In 9 Brides, there’s a fucking spider. I’m fucking serious! He’s also a bond villain. Again, I’m fucking serious! If I can find my file of 9 Brides I’ll post it. If I can’t will someone else do so for me please? But still, all the furries that exist do so because some mother fucker wanted it to. So who the fuck thought it’d be a good fucking idea to create a talking fucking frog?! Who thought creating a fucking frog-man was a good idea?! I can understand wanting to create a humanised dog or cat, but a fucking Beetle? Suck my cock, David, you fucking dolt!
Anyway, for the fifth page, we discover that Jink didn’t want to LOSE Fnar, and wishes she could hold him. First off, Jink LOSES her pinprick eyes by deciding to become Fnar’s mother, not for all the people she helped Drip rape and murder.
But seriously, what the fuck, David? Priorities?
I guess a woman get right her all her sins by mothering a child. I doubt David would say the same thing for men, but who gives a shit? I mean, Jink’s help in the murder and rape of innocents is obviously irrelevant, because David believes women can’t rape others, male or female. But David’s a fucking idiot, so who gives a shit?
I mean, Jink said it wasn’t her choice to LOSE Fnar, obviously implying it was Drip’s fault, and so why is she in Hell, David? Clearly Jink Pinprick eyes and the way in which she was saved are totally unconnected, but does it matter to David? Obviously not. Jack agrees with David, though. Because Jack overtly says that being a good “Mommy” might have saved her. So the goal in life is to be a parent? Well, if you’re a fucking animal in the wild who needs to procreate in order to assist their species, but if you’re a person in the modern world, being a parent isn’t a necessity, it’s essentially a luxury nowadays. I mean, people are able to fucking choose when to have their fucking kids! If you’re some fucking tiger, fuck, elephant, fox, you have kids so that you’re species can survive, not that you can have some fun with your fellow parent friends at fucking Starbucks!
Basically, being a parent won’t save your soul! Jink helping those she wronged will. Because they’re the people that truly mattered. I mean, why the fuck is Jink even being punished for doing something she didn’t fucking do?! Drip killed Fnar, and Jink simultaneously, so it’s Drip who should suffer the consequences? Not fucking Jink, David! David Hopkins, you ineffable shithead!
As a last note on the fifth page, who the fuck is that green bastard? And why the fuck is he here? Where the fuck did he come from? What the fuck is he? And why the fuck is he dressing Fnar? Shouldn’t Jack have just brought Fnar’s clothes with him? It’d save someone some avoidable fucking hassle, unless it’s where they fucking sinned; they were the worst tailor ever! One star, go ducking yourself green tailor man!
Jesus Christ page five was shit! But again, the art was decent, it just needs improvement.
Just on the sixth page, reading, reading, reading… “I have things yet to to”… “things to to”… “to to”…
What a simple, stupid, lazy mistake.
Anyway, the last page isn’t too bad, it’s just impotent and flaccid. Not really much to comment on, that’s why I went on for a while just now. But something I can mention is Jack’s weird face in the bottom right-hand corner and Fnar gross sausage fingers. Other than that, the stupid cartoony way Fnar dresses himself in the fifth page is just totally out of place.
As well as that actually, I hate how David only on occasion puts in a background. Listen, David, you can’t just occasionally add a background. Each age needs one because it’s important information about the story and scene. This is something all good artists do; a fucking background to know where the fuck we are! Seriously, it’s the universal standard, David, you shithead. Apart from that, though, page six is just average.
So that was the first arc of Jack! My final verdict? Well, in all fairness, it’s hard to say. I love art style of the first arc, especially the dark, gritty look for the first three and a half pages. That’s where Jack is at its artistic best, maybe other than The Hubbard… maybe. But then with the first arc, it just gets worse and worse when the story kicks in and as the art become lighter. It just fails in every sense of Jack being gritty, ugly and aggressive. Is Jack ugly? If so, then every character Jack has ever drawn is ugly, because they all basically look the same.
The art in my opinion is the comic’s saving grace, especially the first page, which basically sold the comic to anyone who was ever interested. The creepy, weird and unnerving style is great, but its cartoony side fucks it all up, removing a feeling of threat, danger and incorporeal ugliness. Seriously, David, drop the fucking Tiny Toon bullshit and scratch the page with your pencils you god damn idiot. So essentially, the art has potential and is being weighed down from greatness.
The story, though, is shit. Pure shit. It’s just terrible is every way and never once does it reach any serious level of interest. A foetus in Hell, his father killed him, the Grim Reaper, Fnar mother stapled to the wall, a bird ripping off the kid’s nose and a green Martian. How does David fuck that up?! I don’t know. But the motherfucker found a way.
My honest opinion, though, is that this arc is still one of the better ones. I mean it, the comic gets much worse as we go on. I’d say this arc is in the top five or so.
But my overall opinion? This arc could have been great, but it just ended up fucking itself.
Artist-guy on Deviantart, who’s currently posting a re-write of this arc, is doing a much better job than David did. I do wish art-st-guy used colour, but that’s only a personal preference. That art is much, much better, the characters are a hell of a lot more relatable and interesting, and it’s just better all-around in every dingle way. The handwriting, though, and the few grammatical errors - not as many as David, though - are rather jarring, where I have to seriously squint in order to read the text. But other than that, go read artist-guy’s work. It’s much better, and much more interesting.
Other than that, thanks for reading, and never give in when an angel tries to fuck you. Because whether you’re a man, a woman, gay, straight or anything in between, if an angels creeps on you and wants to fuck you, even if David only ever shows females harassing straight males… obviously not rape or a double-standard, never fuck them! Stand up for your rights, and make sure that your ticket back to Earth is through a conversation, just as in the Side arc where Vinci and Bashful are sent back to Earth to try life again.
Goodbye, everyone.
I have more of these reviews. In fact, I've reviewed literally every single arc up to date and 'When Summer Woke' and all the shorts. I've been thinking about review ''9 Brides' because goddamn is that bitch funny all he best lolcow ways. That piece could easily be milked for a lot. If you like this I'll post more.