Defendant: Ethan Oliver Ralph - Ethan Ralph's Documented Legal Troubles & Other Court Docs

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UCantCCPMe said:
Ralph, I would never recommend someone act as their own legal representative, it's just a bad idea, especially if that someone is YOU. Vickers' lawyer will manhandle you, twist your arm behind your back, bend you over and fuck yoir ass, legally speaking. However, I know I'm just some dumb kiwifarmer and according to your own mealy-mouthed self, you've spent more time in a court room than Nicky Rackets.

Despite that, I thought I would offer you some kino advice for how to handle yourself in a courtroom, so that dirty heeb that Mat hired doesn't jew circles around you..... very big circles, cause your fat. Lately, YT has been feeding me videos of legal experts applying their knowledge to the detriment of the magistrate. Here's a few things I picked up on while watching these pure scholars craft their amazing arguments.

1. Never admit to who you are. If they ask if your name is Ethan Oliver Ralph, aka the Hog Man of West Memphis, aka The Horse Hollerer, aka Mini Me Ethan with his wee little willy, give every answer you can to say yes without saying yes.

2. Immediately start challenging the jurisdiction of the court, and continue to do so until the judge flies into a blind rage. Then it'll be easier to appeal. Okay, Darrell Brooks is sitting in prison right now cause he didn't make the judge angry enough.

3. Don't believe the judge when they tell you they're going to hold you in contempt of court. It's Cali Ralph, nothing but a bunch of softy, left-wing bleeding heart liberals. Once you tell them that you voted for Obama, they'll release you immediately

4. If all else fails, just scream that you do not consent. #Metoo the shit out of both prosecutor and the judge.

Go get em champ.
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I cannot wait to hear him crow about how he totally owned Vickers lawyer in court and he actually wanted to never see Xander again and pay the court $15k.
 
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reptile baht spaniard rid said:
it's a clever plan, and it just might work

make the other lawyer feel so embarrassed about how bad it's going that they just give in
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You mean like how Metokur was spanking his ass so bad at MKX that he just eventually quit cause Ralph sucked like 2 Dollar hooker in Thailand on a Saturday night?
 
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reptile baht spaniard rid said:
it's a clever plan, and it just might work

make the other lawyer feel so embarrassed about how bad it's going that they just give in
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That doesn’t even work in High School football in CA, no way it’ll work in court.


Capt. Jean Luc Ritard said:
I cannot wait to hear him crow about how he totally owned Vickers lawyer in court and he actually wanted to never see Xander again and pay the court $15k.
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That’s pretty much exactly what’s gonna happen.
 
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bile demon said:
View attachment 4777822
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Chat CGT know who Ralph is, I just gave him the name Ethan Ralph and height and weight and it knew he was a controversial online personality. I planned on giving it a lot more details and asking questions but it already knew about him and predicted he'll have trouble with a custody battle in California.(after I asked)
 
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UCantCCPMe said:
Ralph, I would never recommend someone act as their own legal representative, it's just a bad idea, especially if that someone is YOU. Vickers' lawyer will manhandle you, twist your arm behind your back, bend you over and fuck yoir ass, legally speaking.
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Ralph, do not listen to this man. He is a broke dick hater and doesn't understand the one true way of Ralphmaleness. Hell, he probably doesn't even own a $20k pinky ring.

Look, we all know any lawyer could push Vickers' shit in like a 360 windmill dunk, but consider how owned Josh and the rest of the faggots will be when you easily outwit Vickers in the court of law all by yourself.

Please continue representing yourself. It will turn out to be the biggest win of your life.

GOD'S PLAN!
 
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GeeWilickers47 said:
Given's Ralph's wigger nature, we all know he'll try argue with a judge. But I wonder if he somehow manages to attend the trial over Zoom (if he does at all) if it'll make him double down on his Wigger mature and brag that they that can't drag him to a US Prison.
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Absolutely it will. Ralph to this day still talks about how he’s gonna beat people up, “come find me bitch, I ain’t scared.” All this because Ralph lives his “life” remotely via livestream, where delayed consequences allow him the gratification of taking shit he can’t back up.

@AnOminous what happens if the judge gives him jail and he refuses to report? Is it in any way affected by the fact that it’s quasi-criminal, or is it handled like any other fugitive warrant? Sounds like the governor would have to sign an extradition warrant, which he might decline if it’s not a serious enough crime.
 
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Rigger Nich said:
How did Ralph get residency in Mexico when everything I’ve read says you must present a letter saying you have no criminal record?
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Simple, when he was asked about being a convicted sex offender he said it’s not true actually, he pled no contest so ignore the conviction that says guilty because he still maintains his innocence. The Mexico clerk that filed it could not defend against such a strong argument.
 
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Ghost of Guntmas Past said:
Simple, when he was asked about being a convicted sex offender he said it’s not true actually, he pled no contest so ignore the conviction that says guilty because he still maintains his innocence. The Mexico clerk that filed it could not defend against such a strong argument.
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Turns out Mexico is a big fan of the Killstream.
Preacher ✝ said:
True to the merge Ralph has adopted the Chris Chan legal strategy of convincing the court he's so fucking retarded that he simply cannot be held responsible for his actions.
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Hopefully we’ll see Ralph adopt the defense Null makes when he imitates Ralph in a courtroom: “I’m sorry yer honah, I’m stupid. I’m so fucking dumb, yer honah.”
 
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