Did Cole Get Married?

[drmccoy]

Actually I wonder if Chris didn't care so much about Cole's wedding until he told Barb, who promptly became pissed and started ranting. "Well I don't care for Cole much because he uses big, long words because of da brain damage, but Mommy is mad so I'm mad too!"

Y'know, I was wondering that too. How much of Chris' anger is Chris and how much is Barb. He's ranted about the subject in other ways than just twitter and he's pretty worked up about it. Barb might've brought up the subject to Chris, but he seems really pissed about it.

I'd be willing to bet that even if Barb actually got invited, she'd still find a way to twist it into an insult or negative of some sort, she just strikes me as that sort of person.

If you ever watch shows like Bridezillas or similar wedding shows there's always that one in-law who insists on making the whole thing a pain in your ass. They're combative, bitchy, demanding and just plain unclassy. If Barb had showed it would have been awkward. And Kaka would have tagged along.

"Hey Cole, who's that?"

"Oh. That's my half-brother and mother"

"He, ya know, kinda smells weird and he's wearing a dress that's a little small. And he's hitting on the bridesmaids."

I know we don't much like Cole but pompous attitude aside, he's did far better for himself that his half-brother and I'm sure he wants to keep it that way.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

"Hey Cole, who's that?"

"Oh. That's my half-brother and mother"

..."Which one is which?"

 

[Anchuent Christory]

I know we don't much like Cole but pompous attitude aside, he's did far better for himself that his half-brother and I'm sure he wants to keep it that way.

Yeah, he may be an egotistical douche, but at least he got off his ass, took his life into his own hands, and actually made something of himself. Oh, and he managed to complete his love quest.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Oh, and he managed to complete his love quest.

Technically, Love Quests end when you have children, though now that Cole's in his fifties, he would be foolish to repeat the sins of the Republican cur, lest he risk having an autistic child of his own.

On the other hand, Cole strikes me as the type who makes disparaging comments about children and the people who have them.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I'd be willing to bet that even if Barb actually got invited, she'd still find a way to twist it into an insult or negative of some sort, she just strikes me as that sort of person.

I gave the birth to mah baby boy Cole, and you know how he repaid me? When he invited me to his wedding, he didn't even offer to let me pick out his wife's wedding dress, or to let me move in with them, or nuthin!

 

[Cwckifan]

Hasn't Cole been married for a few years? Wasn't that written on the Cwcki, back in ~2010?

 

[CatParty]

I'd be willing to bet that even if Barb actually got invited, she'd still find a way to twist it into an insult or negative of some sort, she just strikes me as that sort of person.

I gave the birth to mah baby boy Cole, and you know how he repaid me? When he invited me to his wedding, he didn't even offer to let me pick out his wife's wedding dress, or to let me move in with them, or nuthin!

She probably has so many hoarded goodwill wedding dresses. If cole wasn't such a cur he'd have asked.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Hasn't Cole been married for a few years? Wasn't that written on the Cwcki, back in ~2010?

I always just assumed that was his first wife, and he was with Katherine (the woman he eventually married) when he wrote that email to Chris.

Sidenote: "Gave the birth" never gets old.

 

[Cwckifan]

Hasn't Cole been married for a few years? Wasn't that written on the Cwcki, back in ~2010?

I always just assumed that was his first wife, and he was with Katherine (the woman he eventually married) when he wrote that email to Chris.

Sidenote: "Gave the birth" never gets old.

Oh, okay. I say, it seems like despite the lolcow status Cole has (somewhat) achieved here, that he was able to get married twice really does speak volumes of his competence with women, relative to Chris

 

[EzioCanLeapofFaith]

Congratulations to Cole for achieving his Love Quest.


It's interesting how sarcastic Chris has been getting lately. I thought that for the most part autistic people didn't understand sarcasm. Must be something Barb does all the time, now that they're hanging out more, Chris must be starting to pick it up.

 

[Holdek]

I don't think Cole dislikes Chris. He is probably embarrassed by him and pities him.

But he doesn't want Barb involved in his life, and he knows that if he sent just Chris an invitation, Chris would bring Barb as his date.

Actually I wonder if Chris didn't care so much about Cole's wedding until he told Barb, who promptly became pissed and started ranting. "Well I don't care for Cole much because he uses big, long words because of da brain damage, but Mommy is mad so I'm mad too!"

Y'know, I was wondering that too. How much of Chris' anger is Chris and how much is Barb. He's ranted about the subject in other ways than just twitter and he's pretty worked up about it. Barb might've brought up the subject to Chris, but he seems really pissed about it.

So basically, much like how Chris's recollections of Nathaneal Greene are likely fabricated by Bob 'n' Barb?

Chris' memories and emotions are a woven tapestry of his own delusions, stupidity, and his parents' comments.

I know we don't much like Cole but pompous attitude aside, he's did far better for himself that his half-brother and I'm sure he wants to keep it that way.

Yeah, he may be an egotistical douche, but at least he got off his ass, took his life into his own MANOS, and actually made something of himself.

Maybe. He lives in Manhattan and writes movie reviews for his blog that no one reads. I have a feeling he's living the life Chris always dreamed of: pursuing his creative endeavors while his wife makes the money.

Hasn't Cole been married for a few years? Wasn't that written on the Cwcki, back in ~2010?

I always just assumed that was his first wife, and he was with Katherine (the woman he eventually married) when he wrote that email to Chris.

Sidenote: "Gave the birth" never gets old.

Oh, okay. I say, it seems like despite the lolcow status Cole has (somewhat) achieved here, that he was able to get married twice really does speak volumes of his competence with women, relative to Chris

Which means what, exactly?

 

[cypocryphy]

WATCHA GONNA DO, COLE SMITHEY...WHEN STRANGE RITUALS RUN WILD ON YOU???

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I have a feeling he's living the life Chris always dreamed of: pursuing his creative endeavors while his wife makes the money.

Chris could learn a thing or two from Cole. Too bad a 100% failure rate of his own tactics doesn't clue Chris in to the fact that someone else might know more about women than he does.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

I have a feeling he's living the life Chris always dreamed of: pursuing his creative endeavors while his wife makes the money.

Chris could learn a thing or two from Cole. Too bad a 100% failure rate of his own tactics doesn't clue Chris in to the fact that someone else might know more about women than he does.

But... Chris knows so much about women, he gives advice on how to treat them!!!

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Cole told Chris that barb only made the effort to come to CA and visit him once, which I'm assuming was for his first wedding. Which means that bitch didn't even bother coming to his college graduation.

 

[The Dude]

Cole is a fool for missing out on a great wedding gift such as this. Just think, instead of auctioning off Beer Nights with himself, he could've put that shit up on ebay instead and could've watched us Christorians try to outbid each other. He'd be set for life.

I love the way that middle eye could belong to either character, that's one unintentionally freaky drawing.

Why are two anthropomorphic hedgehogs sitting on the Grimace?

 

[bradsternum]

Cole told Chris that barb only made the effort to come to CA and visit him once, which I'm assuming was for his first wedding. Which means that bitch didn't even bother coming to his college graduation.

Well, to play the devil's advocate, it's not like Barb is rolling in dough. I mean, fried dough, but you can't buy airline tickets with that shit.

 

[The Dude]

Cole told Chris that barb only made the effort to come to CA and visit him once, which I'm assuming was for his first wedding. Which means that bitch didn't even bother coming to his college graduation.

Well, to play the devil's advocate, it's not like Barb is rolling in dough. I mean, fried dough, but you can't buy airline tickets with that shit.

I think this is a misconception based on the Chandler's otherwise white trash lifestyle. Both Bob and Blub had careers that they retired from with pensions. Bob of course was an engineer and Burb was, if I remember correctly, a secretary for a Virginia Power. So with their retirement they probably actually are pretty well off.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

Bless Our Homer

 

[Henry Bemis]

Cole told Chris that barb only made the effort to come to CA and visit him once, which I'm assuming was for his first wedding. Which means that bitch didn't even bother coming to his college graduation.

Well, to play the devil's advocate, it's not like Barb is rolling in dough. I mean, fried dough, but you can't buy airline tickets with that shit.

I think this is a misconception based on the Chandler's otherwise white trash lifestyle. Both Bob and Blub had careers that they retired from with pensions. Bob of course was an engineer and Burb was, if I remember correctly, a secretary for a Virginia Power. So with their retirement they probably actually are pretty well off.

Not to mention that they had enough money to be a legitimate threat to the Greene County School Board, among other institutions.