Disney General - The saddest fandom on Earth

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Which is Better

  • Chicken Little

    Votes: 433 27.5%
  • Hunchback 2

    Votes: 57 3.6%
  • A slow death

    Votes: 1,087 68.9%

  • Total voters
    1,577
I think that this was, from day one, about consolidating the Disney copyright.
It can be both things though.

If it was just about holding onto the IP they would just have gone through the motions, but instead they decided to make Snow White brown, the kingdom diverse and the plot about communism.

These companies are staffed with commies, and while their overlords might not be as zealous as the peons, they will gladly let them shit on Whites and European culture.
 
Just saw Critical's vid and apparently the very first line of dialogue in the entire movie is voice over narration explaining that Snow White got her name because she was born in a snowstorm.

That's so fucking funny, Disney wasted no time addressing the bitchy brown elephant in the room.
 
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(In fairness, Dragonball Evolution's average user rating is 2.4 points too high for my liking)
 
Do you know, I'm actually kind of amazed that it has taken me until now to hear this particular take, whereas when Fox made that awful Fant4stic Four movie, a couple of years ago, you couldn't move for people talking about how it was a shallow, soulless production, cynically created to cling onto the licensing rights, in literally every discussion of the film.

And do you know what? I think you're probably bang on the money.

Nobody involved in this production really gave a shit about 'honouring the original's legacy', or 'correcting the regressive attitudes of the original film', or 'girlboss feminism', or even 'culturally erasing white people from their own stories', or any of the other bullshit that was thrown at this production. I mean, maaaybe they did, but that wasn't the object of the exercise.

I think that this was, from day one, about consolidating the Disney copyright.

It's significantly different. With the Fantastic Four it was the licensing agreement to make films would lapse if they weren't making films with in a given time period. It's happened with plenty of franchises like Spiderman and Terminator.

The Copyright aspect gets more complicated with something like Snow White because the original story is already in public domain. Once Disney's Snow White enters public domain you can use original story elements but you're not going to be able to use currently active trademarks. Which essentially boils down to trying to pass off a film that looks and sounds like it is the Disney version of Snow White.

The live action remakes is keeping these trademarks alive, as well as introducing new copyrightable elements to the Disney version. It is also a lazy, souless cash grab because Hollywood is afraid of doing anything new or taking chances. They'd rather do a shitty live action Snow White than come up with a new adaptation like an animated The Boy Who Fell Off the Maypole.
 
I feel like licensing agreements should have some ratings contingency where if the ratings suck the license gets revised.
 
A pretty funny review from IMDB of Snow White

1/10
Rooting for the Apple
Disney's live-action Snow White is finally here, and after watching it, I can confidently say that the Magic Mirror needs a new prescription. This movie is less "fairest of them all" and more "fairest at failing upwards." If you ever wondered what it would look like if someone took the classic 1937 animated masterpiece, ran it through a corporate buzzword generator, and then tossed in some awkward CGI for good measure-congratulations, you've found your answer!

A Princess with a Personality (Kind Of?)

Rachel Zegler takes on the role of Snow White, though you'd be forgiven for thinking she was actually playing a medieval TED Talk speaker. Instead of the wide-eyed, kind-hearted princess we all knew, this Snow White is a Strong Independent Woman™-because saying "I want to be a queen, not a bride" apparently counts as character development these days. That's right, folks, forget charming dwarfs, woodland creatures, or actual chemistry with anyone; this Snow White has dreams, and she's here to remind you about them every five minutes.

But despite all that, her biggest challenge in the movie isn't even the Evil Queen-it's keeping the audience awake.

Gal Gadot: Evil Queen or Instagram Influencer?

Now, let's talk about Gal Gadot's Evil Queen. You'd think that playing a narcissistic, beauty-obsessed villain would be an easy fit for Hollywood, but somehow, even with all the pouting, dress-swishing, and over-the-top glowering, she ends up about as menacing as a fashion blogger with a bad attitude.

Her obsession with being "the fairest of them all" is laughable when you realize that, well... she already is the fairest of them all. No offense to Snow White, but if the mirror told me that Gal Gadot wasn't the hottest person in the kingdom, I'd be smashing that thing to pieces too. The real villain here is the mirror's manufacturer.

The Dwarfs: Now with 90% Less Dwarfs!

Ah yes, the seven dwarfs-except, surprise! They're not really dwarfs anymore. Instead, we get a diverse group of CGI-enhanced "magical creatures" who look like they were rejected from The Lord of the Rings for being too unsettling. Imagine if a bunch of carnival performers got stuck in a blender with bad CGI, and you've got these guys.

Their role in the movie? Mostly to exist, deliver unfunny one-liners, and make you wonder if we should start a petition to bring back actual actors instead of whatever motion-capture madness this is. If I wanted to spend two hours looking at weirdly animated characters, I'd just play a bad video game.

The Apple Fiasco

We all know the story: Evil Queen poisons apple, Snow White eats apple, Snow White falls into a death nap, and then a prince shows up to wake her with true love's kiss. Simple, right? Nope. Not in this version.

Instead, we get a long, drawn-out scene where Snow White almost eats the apple, but then stops to give another speech about believing in yourself or some nonsense. And when she does finally bite it, the whole moment is ruined by some weird slow-motion effects that make it look like an overly dramatic shampoo commercial.

Honestly, I was rooting for the apple at that point. Maybe if she stayed in an enchanted coma, we'd all be spared another unnecessary Disney remake.

Final Verdict: The Fairest Disaster of Them All

This movie is what happens when you take a beloved classic, strip away everything that made it charming, and replace it with corporate-approved "modernization" that pleases no one. It's a film that wants to be empowering, but instead feels like a checklist of forced inclusivity and soulless spectacle.

Snow White (2025) is proof that sometimes, it's better to leave well enough alone. If you're looking for magic, wonder, and nostalgia, just rewatch the 1937 version. If you're looking for two hours of your life you'll never get back, then by all means, go ahead and buy a ticket.

By the way, the IMDb rating for this film is 1.9 / 100. Some low budget DTV movies about stuff like the misadventures of talking dogs or shot on digital camera action films have higher IMDb ratings than this.
 
so if when Lilo and Stitch is also a dud what is Dismay banking on next?
There’s a Moana remake coming out this year. After that, according to Wikipedia, it’s Hercules, Robin Hood, The Aristocats, Bambi, and Tangled coming out on dates not yet determined.

…seriously, why The Aristocats? Why not The Black Cauldron, or Atlantis? Hell, I’d take Home on the Range as long as they bring back the scrapped plotline of the villain pulling a January 6th with hypnotized cows.
 
…seriously, why The Aristocats? Why not The Black Cauldron, or Atlantis? Hell, I’d take Home on the Range as long as they bring back the scrapped plotline of the villain pulling a January 6th with hypnotized cows.
Black Cauldron is famously a black sheep at Disney, Both because it was generally seen as too scary for kids and it also was a massive box office bomb at the time. Atlantis is probably out too due to colonialism or whatever.
 
Battlefield Earth is at least enjoyable for the overacting and effort in the set design and costumes. The story is retarded, but Trevolta is fun to watch.

Honestly, I’m a big enough autist where visual storytelling and good art direction will make me like a movie. This era of film lacks that. You can call it soul or soulless, but I feel like when you couldn’t order reshoots or add stuff in post it imposed limits that forced people to think.
 
Atlantis is probably out too due to colonialism or whatever.
If Disney ever decides to remake it, I guarantee you they'll go with the Hotep angle - the proud and noble water niggers having taught Greeks all about philosophy, medicine and math, and gifting them the miracle of soap and bathing.

Then they'll have the (for once) White, blonde, blue eyed Greeks rising against their betters, and in their ignorance and savagery sinking Atlantis to the bottom of the ocean.

Iger, you inbred, slimy kike rat, where's my paycheck?
 
It's fun to see this train wreck crash and burn and i bet theaters already regret devoting themselves to it so much. The biggest theater here in munich can't move tickets at all. For the 7 showings there today they only so far sold between 2% and 11% tickets, pretty much less than 100 tickets total. meanwhile they show Ne Zha 2 in Mandarin with subtitles and they already sold over 700 tickets for two showings of it on thursday and even more on friday, so they had to expand their showing from three theater rooms to five on that day. Disney gets wrecked by some chinese movie...
 
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