Glad to see
@UnKillFill's review are back. Someone wanted a review of
Resurrection of the Daleks and I volunteered because against all conventional wisdom I actually like that story, so here it is:
Is this
Resurrection of the Daleks or
Invasion of the Space Hobos?
Oh man, police brutality’s off the scale here #SpaceHoboLivesMatter
Aw, they killed actual hobo too? Is no-one safe?
Hey neat, it’s Rodney Bewes, star of
The Likely Lads,
Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? and the question: “Whatever Happened to Rodney Bewes?”.
That is a craptastic spaceship, even for classic
Who. Looks like something I’d make out of an egg box. Dalek fly around in saucers not whatever the hell this is:
This story takes place after
Frontios where the Tardis gets blowed up real good. Can’t remember if this shit with the time corridor is a lead in from that.
Janet Fielding looks great in that outfit even if she looks like she should be asking if you’re looking for a good time on street corners.
Rodney Bewes keeps calling for his friend even after he hears the machine gun fire. Dumbass
Lytton said nothing anachronistic is to be brought to Earth, but they just transmatted a Dalek trooper in there for a clean up.
In the DVD commentary the actors commented about how the outfits the station staff wore in this story looked like something workers would wear at McDonald’s and now I can’t unsee it.
Oh yeah, Rula Lenska’s in this one too. I love how JNT would take comedy actors and have them play hardasses.
More crap model shots. This one’s literally just a still image with some bad laser effects overlayed.
Rula Lenska’s basically Beryl Reid from
Earthshock all over again.
Hehe, this shot looks kind of dirty:
“The cruiser’s docked?”
“The cruiser’s docked!”
Sorry, could you say that again? I didn’t get it the first time.
Rodney Bewes: “Have you got anything to eat?”
Me: “Yes, this Doctor literally has a vegetable on his collar for no discernible reason. It’s a bit manky, but it’ll do if you’re starving.”
The Dalek Trooper helmets walk the line between kino and cheesy. For me they lean slightly more towards kino, but the giant dildo on the forehead looks very silly.
Oh, this is one of those episodes where they could only afford so many laser effects so most of the guns are just LEDs of doom.
Lytton: “Your battle tactics won’t work, their position is too strong”
They literally had to pull the bulkhead down with their bare hands and then make a barrier out of junk they had lying around. I know the whole point is the Daleks are much weaker in this time period, but goddamn that’s pathetic.
This is one of the few Dalek episodes that doesn’t feature Roy Skelton as a Dalek voice artist. The voices in this episode are provided by Royce Mills and Brian Miller (aka Mr Elisabeth Sladen). Royce Mills delivers a subdued, creepy performance, but Brian Miller is too ranty for my liking, even for a Dalek. Still leagues better than the bozos they had in
Day of the Daleks.
So Lytton’s grand strategy for taking over the station was just to gas them. I’ll bet that one really got the noggin joggin. Also, why do only some of the station staff have gas masks? Do the proles not get them?
Convenient the Davros kill switch doesn’t work.
This story is literally just
Earthshock all over again. The Doctor bumbles into a military operation on earth, while other shenanigans are going on in space. Only difference is you don’t get the shock of seeing his old enemies show up again because it’s in the title and they appear with virtually no fanfare. We’ve got the megabitch station commander, the no nonsense military captain, the hapless scientist and the antagonists trying to carry out a covert operation which only ends up drawing more attention to what they’re up to.
The Daleks are downright
nasty in this one. It’s been a while since we’ve seen them gun down this many people in cold blood.
How the fuck did that Dalek not see Turlough? He’s not even trying to hide.
“What’s that smell?”
“Well it can’t be the prisoner.”
Was that a fart joke?
Ahaha some of the death scenes in this episode are fucking hilarious. Shame that dishy Indian girl had to die.
Why are the machine guns firing tissue paper?
Bahahaha best Dalek destruction ever. Who’d have thought defenestration would be so effective?
Dalek: “The Dalek that was sent to the warehouse has been destroyed”
Supreme Dalek: “How is that possible?”
Apparently a three storey fall is all it takes.
More blind Daleks. Even with their eyestalks they’re fucking useless. How did you not notice a mangy ginger sneaking around your ship?
Davros: “You speak as though my Daleks are no longer capable of war.”
Well they were forced to retreat by the graveyard shift staff of space McDonald’s, so yeah, they aren’t.
Turlough discovers the Daleks have a bubble wrap fetish.
I forgot the Doctor gets trigger happy again in this episode. Get fucked with that “I never would” shit Ten.
Doctor: “I must find Turlough”
Must you though?
It’s painfully obvious the guy getting throttled by the Dalek mutant is doing all the puppeteering.
Is the military captain really using a payphone to try and communicate with his superiors? What kind of Mickey Mouse military operation is this? Actually what am I saying? This is Britfagistan.
Ooh, Leslie Grantham’s in this one too. They’re really rolling out the starpower. Assuming that by “starpower” you mean C and D-List TV stars of yore and convicted murderers.
Davros: “Two totally logical war machines unable to outthink each other? Fascinating!”
Yeah, you were presented with this exact same problem in
Destiny of the Daleks. Y’know, the Dalek story
immediately before this one.
Davros: “This time they will not abuse me!”
Show me on the doll where the Dalek touched you.
The Doctor’s nicked the PissedOffVideoGamer’s stick:
That poor soldier has the worst luck. That’s the second time he’s had a lovebite from the same Dalek mutant. Apparently it won’t take no for an answer.
The space McDonald’s workers have used the Stormtrooper strategy from
A New Hope.
Davros: “90 years I was frozen in that! 90 years of mind numbing boredom!”
Davros just perfectly described the experience of watching Series 11 and 12 of NuWho.
Soldier: “Anyone want some tea?”
So fucking British.
Haha, Lytton actually uses the giant dildo on the Dalek helmet to remove it. Neat.
Oh no! Rodney Bewes is evil! Whoda thunk it?
Lytton: “They kill anybody, even if they need them.”
Rodney Bewes: “How long before it’s your turn?”
Damn that’s a good line.
Turlough is told they’re standing outside a self-destruct chamber and then asks what they’re going to do when they go inside. Rula Lenska is right to call him a dumbass.
“Would anyone like some tea?”
That’s the second time it’s been offered in a crisis. Again, so fucking British.
Why are the Daleks just letting the Doctor wander round the duplication chamber willy nilly? Restrain the fucker! He could’ve disabled half the equipment by now you morons (actually, why didn't he?).
“The Daleks are very capable of devising painful and undignified ways of dying.”
What, like being blinded and pushed out of a window?
Love the “You fucking moron” look the Dalek gives Rodney Bewes when he lets slip Davros is there:
Why have the Daleks suddenly forgotten about the fuckface gas from the initial attack? Surely they could just pipe that into the self-destruct chamber and be home free.
Lytton makes his troops take out the CCTV camera
after they’ve been spotted. Fat load of good that’ll do now.
The Daleks have a nearly complete set of TARDIS team action figures and just need the Doctor to complete their collection.
Maybe I missed it, but why does Davros have to stay on the station? Is that really the only laboratory they could find for him? I’m pressing x to doubt.
Oh whoops, Rodney Bewes has become Michael Palin’s character from
A Fish Called Wanda.
*Self-destruct opens*
Rula Lenska: “Why am I so excited? This is the last thing I’ll ever do.”
Whoa. 2deep4me.
I’m impressed Tegan’s outrunning the policemen in high heels.
This episode doesn’t take any prisoners. First the hobo gets gunned down in cold blood, now some poor old coot metal detecting.
Nooooo! Rula Lenska’s dead. Will the other celebrity guests survive this episode?
That scientist lady screamed too much for my liking. Thank fuck she’s gone.
I like Terry Molloy as Davros, but he doesn’t half rant in this story.
Do the corridors on the Dalek ship have a perception filter or something? How did Turlough miss the fucking TARDIS right next to him?
Good thing Rodney Bewes shut off the duplication machine. The Doctor could’ve remembered the Morbius Doctors again (I am not calling them the Timeless Child Doctors, fuck that shit).
Supreme Dalek: “The Doctor is free! Your troopers have failed!”
Lytton: “More to the point, where were your Daleks?”
Oh snap.
The Dalek troopers look utterly bored while they’re being tied to the tables. They don’t even try to fight back. Maybe they’re into that.
So the Daleks put the Movellan virus on Earth because it was safer there? Again, I’m pressing x to doubt. They have the whole universe to choose from.
The Daleks went to all this trouble to get hold of Davros to try and cure the Movellan virus only to get rid of him? I know he’s a slippery fuck, but all the Daleks need to do is kill everyone loyal to him and he’s fucked again.
Davros: “You will pay tenfold for the agony I suffered!”
No Davros! Don’t show him a preview of Series 13! That’s too cruel even for you!
Oh man, the black dude just got gunned down. That was a wasted character arc if ever there was one.
Davros is handing out love eggs now. I don’t like where this is going:
These soldiers/Dalek duplicates are fucking morons. How do you let yourself get flanked by a slow moving pepperpot?
More cheesy death scenes. Fun fact: this episode has a higher body count than
The Terminator.
Leslie Grantham’s dead too? Nah, he’ll be back, he always comes back. You can’t kill Dirty Den.
I can’t explain to non-Britfags how amusing it is to see Rodney Bewes trying to be an action hero.
You just kind of have to know the context.
I can’t believe the Daleks left two guys guarding the self-destruct chamber and didn’t try to disable the mechanism or lock it down some other way.
“I told you she could start an epidemic if she released the virus!”
So Tegan was behind the Covid-19 outbreak. Huh, that actually makes a lot of sense.
Ew, the love eggs are doing their job a little too well. Spunk everywhere:
I’m sorry...
Jesus Lytton. No need to gun down one of your own men just because. Quite enough people have died this episode.
Lol Davros gets owned by racial purity once again.
Supreme Dalek: “I have my duplicates. Some have already been placed in strategic positions around the planet! The collapse of Earth society will soon occur!”
There’s four minutes left and now this plot point’s coming out of left field. I guess I should be grateful though. If this were done today, there’d be a Trump/Boris joke right about now.
Blimey, Rodney Bewes is indestructible. He survived an LED of death and a direct hit from a Dalek. I bet even after the self-destruct goes off he’s still floating in space lamenting that his co-star won’t allow reruns of his old show.
Lytton lives to
Die Another Day.
Tegan’s departure would’ve been really moving if it had been given a little more build up and time to breathe. It feels a bit sudden as is.
“Doctor I will miss you.”
Don’t worry love, you’ll meet again. Big Finish will make sure of it.
Like I say, I do like this story, but I'm not blind to its myriad flaws. The story/plot are terrible if you think about them for more than a few seconds, there's too many plot threads which go nowhere, the supporting cast are practically all ciphers and as I set out above, the whole thing is an inferior rerun of
Earthshock without any of that story's saving graces.
That said, it's got some of the best Dalek action in the entire Classic Series, the Daleks themselves look great after their tatty appearance in
Destiny (I love the Supreme Dalek's black and white livery), Terry Molloy is always welcome in a story (even if this isn't his best showing), Maurice Colbourne does a great job as Lytton (one of Classic
Who's best guest characters) and despite all my jokes at his expense, Rodney Bewes turns in a surprisingly good performance, especially when he has to play against type.
I was going to do
Destiny of the Daleks for my next review, but on reflection I think I'll do
Attack of Cybermen, a story that shares many similarities with this one (and is in some ways a quasi-sequel), but with the important difference I don't like it. Hopefully I can explain why it fails for me where
Resurrection succeeds.
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