some prestream nonsense
"i don't know how after 15 years i have failed to show my audience how good JRPGs are"
it's because you're a bad streamer phil. you're very stupid and very boring and don't have good commentary. combine this with games that are number heavy and gameplay slow, and no one is going to watch that. hope that cleared it up for you.
1mm is giving phil even more information about Underdark.
"what if i just spank the rest of the game because i did underdark early?"
doubt that.
"i enjoy the game is open world, that's nice, but it does kind of maybe make it a little more dangerous. because what if i stumble onto something i shouldn't be at?"
what if you just played the game? what if you did that phil?
"am i ever going back to divinity 2? fuck no. absolutely not."
just posting this to remind people phil only put divinity 2 "on hiatus" he said several times he might go back eventually, and surprising to no one, he never intended to. he only said that to try and save face over rqing another game.
phil is coping over how amazing his BG3 playthrough is and how everyone loves it and it's highly entertaining.
phil realized he reached the end of the podcast without mentioning how you can give him money, so now he's going to run through and list that.
he is talking about how people should seek out help and not be afraid to seek out therapy. funny, because when Sidescrollers asked phil about therapy he got wildly offended and skittish.
gameplay is now starting at 1:58pm, which means we have 3 hours of gameplay today.
he is now taking advice if he should continue into the Underdark or go to Goblin camp.
my favorite part about this rant he's on now is phil is talking about how he's essentially sequence breaking because he came to the Underdark too early. my guy, that's your fault? Your stream chat told you to jump down the hole to reach the Underdark and you did it. You would not have thought to jump down the hole on your own. you made up this problem of sequence breaking on your own because you refuse to just play the fucking game without hand holding.
"for someone like me who's only going to play this game once"
once? few streams ago you were kicking around the idea of multiple playthroughs if people kept supporting, where'd that go?
obviously phil was never going to play this game more than once, but this is just another example of how he'll just say shit with absolutely no intent to ever follow up on it.
someone asked phil to do an all survivors run of Dead Rising 1, phil claims he already did this, he did not, to my knowledge.
phil has discovered the alchemy menu and he is not pleased.
"oh, there's some dead peopel. what happened?"
phil doesn't remember the two brothers he saw harassing Auntie Ethel, he just found their corpses and doesn't recognize them.
only after casting speak with dead does he remember.
Phil has exposed Astarion to the vampire hunter and now has to fight Gandrel.
"why would he attack our whole party? I thought there'd be dialogue, he's a complete idiot, he actually thinks he can stop us? we have to kill him now. right? like, how dumb could you be. i thought there'd be no dialogue, no, he's that stupid. he wants to die."
he's a vampire hunter, and you told him you have the vampire he wants and won't give him it. what'd you think was going to happen?
"i'm confused why he attacks me because he's a moron. you would think he's going to be smart about it or you can convince him not to attack astarion, but instead he just says fuck it and fights? what a moron."
"only 30%? why does everyone have such high evasiveness in this game?"
you have an ability that adds 5 damage to -10 hit chance turned on.
phil says he didn't want to use any spells against Gandrel, then decided to use Hold Position, which didn't work.
"saved? take that saving roll and shove it up your ass. it's such bullshit, saving roll."
i don't think phil understands what Cantrips are? he specifically keeps saying he doesn't want to use any spells, but won't use Cantrips. For those who don't know, Cantrips are specifically low level spells you can cast for free.
phil has killed Gandrel.
an hour after phil killed Gandrel he is now confronting Auntie Ethel. In the hour between he simply explored the swamp and fought some Mud Mephits, it was extremely boring and aside from finding the Kagha letter, nothing happened. It was an hour of dead air.
phil has completely skipped confronting Ethel and is now inside of the Hags tunnel.
"oh no, is this the sister? i think this is the sister maybe"
the sister wasn't an elf, the sister is talking to Ethel upstairs, who you skipped past.
phil put auntie ethel's mask on, and before he could put masks on the rest of his team mates, he was mind controlled by Ethel, he now has to fight his team mates. his reaction to this is
"huh? how would you take it off? they won't let me unequip it?"
to recap, phil put on a mind control mask, is surprised he got mind controlled, and doesn't know why he can't remove the mask mind controlling him.
"i am so confused. i don't know. i put it on, it did something, but now i don't know what's going on."
phil was able to easily beat himself and take the mask off, since he is the weakest member on his team. if it had been karlach, would've been a bigger issue.
"so....what the hell is the mask for? this is SO confusing. let me make a separate save....."
i don't know how phil is confused. he found a mind control mask, he put the mask on, Ethel mind controlled him, and he's just fucking flabbergasted. he has no idea what happened.
really wish the game had taken longer though, like, phil was in the process of putting a mask on all of his team members. just imagine that.
"it's so dumb that it doesn't calculate terrain into your attacks, it absolutely should, stop wasting my time, it's starting to upset me"
what if you just played the game instead of demanding the game plays itself?
"only 40%? why?"
because you have an ability that adds 5 damage at the cost of -10 hit chance. you chose this ability. it's what you wanted.
"pretty frustrating, not gonna lie"
he is like 25 hours into the game and still struggling on basic combat encounters.
"80% chance to hit and it's a critical miss miss, what an amazing game. oh my god."
phil tries to long rest in the middle of an enemy base and is SHOCKED he can't.
"oh, so now the game changes the rules and you just can't rest whenever you want? even though i've ALWAYS been able to, now i just can't rest. we have no spells and no healing."
you're in the middle of the hags cave, you think you can just set up camp here and relax? fucking idiot.
"leave the cave to long rest? how?"
he left the cave and is long resting, he has still not spoken to Auntie Ethel.
"the game is very complex, has its own rule sets that aren't easy to figure out, this game and divinity are in the same style of game design and it's very different. just like the first time you started playing dark souls you won't understand anything"
first dark souls i ever played was 3, seemed fine to me?
phil is shocked that Astarion isn't very heroic and seems to just view him as blanket evil, instead of y'know, a trauma victim who is responding very poorly to his situation.
phil is wearing the viking hat, i bring this up because it seems he's phased the nazi officer hat out entirely. yeah, the nazi hat wasn't even on the poll, pretty sure it's gone.
'did you see that? the bodies just reloaded and fell down. it's that weird thing that happens with certain video games"
again, phil showing he has no idea how video games work despite them being literally his entire life.
"if you wonder why i don't split my party, it's because it's not easy to do. it's triggers, up down, selecting, it's too frustrating, that's why i haven't bothered with it"
so instead he's just dragging his entire party through a field of poison and land mines.
phils character has died, i believe this is his first actual party member death.
phil made it to the Ethel boss fight after completely skipping talking to her, for some reason.
he has also been silent for the past 3 minutes, complete dead air, he hasn't said a word.
"so....we got a cage..that's on fire...so we have limited time to save her because if we don't save her the cage will break and she'll fall into a chasm...ok...we only have one enemy..it's Auntie Ethel and she has 112hp...but what does hags trickery mean..."
i'm watching a genius at work here.
"wait a minute....there's more than one auntie ethel...."
think you've found what the trickery means.
"oh god...there's 1...2..3..4...there''s four ethels? are they all identical?"
he is mad dogging the chat before making a move against Ethel.
"you've gotta be kidding me, it's saying a tree will stop my toss? the tree will stop my FUCKING toss? alright, forget it then."
the hag has replaced herself with Mayrina, phil doesn't know which is real and which isn't. he's pretty certain he knows, but only time will tell.
he's now manually zooming in and trying to figure it out by looking at their models.
"you can figure it out by inspecting, this Mayrina is level 5, that's the witch."
ok, phil defeated Ethel and struck a deal with her. Wyll is dead. he's the only casuality.
