Dumb things you did as a kid. - From bodily harm to embarrassment or anything that stood out as exceptional

[Merried Senior Comic]

I put a pizza Lunchable (I didn't even open the damn box) in the microwave thinking it would cook it.

It promptly caught on fire.

 

[Had]

When I was younger, I had this knight light. Every morning my parents would come in and unplug it so it would turn off. But one day I woke up early and wanted to do it myself. I got a knife and tried to use it to unplug the light but I touched the two electrical prongs together. Luckly I chose a knife with a plastic handle, needless to say that was stupid.

 

[seri0us]

When i was 4 i escaped my house buck ass naked

I would have loved to seen an actual picture of that.

Go to jail.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I used to wear lanyards as good luck charms.

 

[Pimpleking55]

As a toddler a ate a sigaret.....

 

[Kornula]

Go to jail.

What is not funny about a kid being a literal porch monkey. geez.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

What is not funny about a kid being a literal porch monkey. geez.

Technically it's kind of adorable.

 

[Apis mellifera]

When I was in primary school there were these girls playing house on the playground and I was chilling near, probably messing with bugs or something, I don't really remember, and this really overweight girl was describing her OC as "someone who constantly gets told she's too skinny, and needs to eat more". I immediately inserted myself into the conversation, and said to this girl, "but you're not [skinny], though". All of her friends promptly told me off and I got in a load of trouble with the girl's older brother and my mum.

I honestly had no idea what I'd done wrong at the time, as I was just being honest, and I hadn't yet realised that it wasn't socially acceptable to imply that somebody's a fatass. Similar incidents occurred over the years and my parents had me tested for autism because I was so socially retarded.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Ate too much pizza, went and played rollerhockey in 100 degree SoCal heat, puked all over the street.

My next door neighbor at the time decided to use some of his paper route tip money to get us each a root beer float from the deli at the other end of our block. I looked on in shock to see him bringing what looked like two of the largest cups the deli sold. He explained that he had asked for two medium floats, but whomever made them grabbed the large cups by mistake. Not wanting to be wasteful, the person told my neighbor he could have the larges for the price of the mediums.

Although we were smart enough to sip and drink slowly, we weren't smart enough to know that young kids can't drink that much fluid in one sitting. It wasn't until after we finished our floats that we realized too late what a bad and dumb idea it was. We went to stand up from the picnic table in my back yard but couldn't do so comfortably. We spent the next several minutes sitting and groaning about how bad it hurt to move. Presumably to be sarcastic, my neighbor suggested we play a game of 21 next. I told him I wanted to deck him one for saying that, but it would hurt too much to try. I think at that point we laughed until our sides hurt and just stayed in place until he had to go home.
=====
Some years later, a bunch of the neighbor kids on either side of our street would throw a frisbee back and forth to each other across the roadway. Normally, we'd stop when a car would come down the street, but one occasion saw one of the neighbors decide to be cute and throw the frisbee down at the pavement with the idea that he could throw it under the vehicle and have it bounce back up to the other side after the vehicle had passed. It didn't work. The frisbee instead hit the car's underbody and the driver decided to slam on the brakes and acted as if he was ready to come after us. We all scattered in every direction we could find and spent the next several minutes hiding from what would have been an early version of road rage.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I thought it was illegal to pick money up off the street. All coins I picked up went into a bucket of legos. Why legos? I thought it would deter the cops.

 

[Blue Screen of Death]

In elementary school one day I randomly decided to cut off like a solid 1.5 inches of some girl's hair for some reason.
I still don't know what the fuck I was thinking.

 

[A Series Of Tubes]

Oh boy, there were so many times where I fucked up as a kid...
One time that comes to mind is the time I said "say something, bitch!" to this quiet hippy looking girl who never bothered anyone in 5th or 6th grade just to make a few hoodrat friends of mine laugh. I still feel awful when I think about it, especially since I made her bawl her eyes out.

 

[palmtreesalad]

Some dude in my first grade class was an ashy latino and it bugged me so much. One day, I reached over and thought it would be an amazing idea to lick part of his arm. I thought my saliva would help him not be ashy anymore. Needless to say, he didn't appreciate it and told on me.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

At second grade, I decided to cut off my hairs at the nape of the scalp with safety scissors: probably in front of mom and was deterred. I think my logic was "it's too long, Have scissors = snip snip".
At 3rd grade, I told a boy with asthma, "I thought you were a girl at first!" Well, he got offended and told the teacher; nothing came of it and I now think in retrospect partly because I was the Teacher's Pet lol.

 

[CiaphasCain]

1) When I was 5 I overcooked something in the microwave and for some reason I thought the defrost snowflake icon was for making things colder, it took me 10 minutes of burning myself to figure out that I was just making it hotter and hotter.

2) When I was 9, me, my brother and one of my friends decided to build a barricade of pillows at the stop of the stairs. The game involved two people having to defend while the other person tries to climb over the barricade. As you can imagine it didn't take long for my friend to fall backward down a whole flight of stairs.

 

[A Series Of Tubes]

Another good one I remember very vividly....one day in eighth grade during lunch, me and a few hoodrat buddies of mine were sitting and having a very profanity and ebonics laced conversation....as luck would have it, the principal overheard us and got PISSED and gave us a stern talking to. It gets better, though. As they walked away, I made the mistake of mumbling something under my breath like "fucking mad gay principal, yo"......and they heard it. They yelled at me so loud the entire cafeteria went dead silent, I'm talking like, you could hear a mouse take a shit silent. Was the most embarrassing walk to the principal's office imaginable. I can't even recall how many weeks of ISS I got for that.

 

[Pillar of Autism]

Me and a few of my friends would do "lightsaber jousting". We'd ride bikes towards each other at full speed, with those plastic lightsaber toys with the collapsible blades.

One day, we couldn't find the lightsabers. Then my tard ass suggested that we should use metal broomsticks instead. I damn near lost an eye

 

[Bionicle of War]

I used to tell people I was allergic to water so they would give me juice. Believe it of not, it worked.

 

[HOMO FOR LIFE]

I stole comic books.

I beat people.

I laughed at kids who crashed from bicycle and was crying.

I ripped my mother's painting because I was embarassed by it at school.

I used to buy fucking rubber sticker from supply stores in shapes of digimon and pokemon.

I don't know. I was dumb.

 

[Micotil 300]

I recently remembered something that qualifies, and kind of freaks me out to think about how it could've been fatal dumbassery. As far as I can figure, I was probably 8 or 9 (ie., old enough to know better) and playing in the basement by myself. For some reason, I thought it would be a bright idea to try and climb in the big chest freezer we had. Even though I piled up clothes hampers and clothes and whatever, I guess I was too short to get into the freezer and got bored as children that age do.

The thought that I'm the kids the dumps warn you are going to suffocate in your refrigerator if you don't take the door off is really embarrassing.