E3 (but not really) 2022

[Pissmaster]

imagine being so brain dead you can't see how an action game can also be an RPG

There are plenty of good action RPGs, but modern Square Enix doesn't make any of 'em

 

[Milwaukee Macho Man]

Define disappointing. Does this include all companies or the majority as Nintendo has easily carried most E3s. I guess 2016 was probably the last fully disappointing one.

More just a general disappointment with the industry at large. Although disappointment might be the wrong word as there is cringe and disgust thrown in too with how overly extravagant a lot of these showcases have been for over a decade.

 

[Basic Blonde Boy]

There are plenty of good action RPGs, but modern Square Enix doesn't make any of 'em

Isn’t Nier technically one?

 

[KEKMUHLORD]

The only RPG that Square publishes or develops that I can trust anymore is Dragon Quest.

And that is only because they let Yuji Horii do whatever he wants with the series and stays out of his way.

 

[Titos]

You can say that RE4 Remake is a PS5 exclusive much like RE4 being a Gamecube exclusive.

Better keep Mikami away from any chainsaws.

Devolver also announced their thing. I'm sure it won't be really annoying and that their schtick didn't get old almost 4 years ago.

 

[Pissmaster]

More just a general disappointment with the industry at large. Although disappointment might be the wrong word as there is cringe and disgust thrown in too with how overly extravagant a lot of these showcases have been for over a decade.

For me at least, E3 became something to have a great time mocking when motion controls became all the rage, and we got just one gif after another of guys awkwardly dancing and pretending to drum on-stage. And all the awkward crap with Kinect that made for that masterpiece of a video by Crowbcat. It was a wonderfully hilarious time.

Then the next notable thing was Microsoft turning the Xbox One into a dystopian nightmare:


leading Sony to flex on it, in one of the funniest things they've ever done outside of the Kevin Butler ads:

and then the PS4 was launched into the stratosphere, while Xbox Ones gathered dust on store shelves.

Afterwards, from like '14 on, E3s became really boring. I remember internet perception saying things like "They're just showing games! Microsoft won this one because they just showed games. (Whatever the fuck) looked pretty cool. Yeah, good E3 overall", though I can't remember a single thing about... well, any of them. Yeah, tasteful and proper is fine at the time, but not memorable, and none of it stood out. Of course, this was also a time when wokeness was getting increasingly in vogue, and the looniest people around were taking themselves increasingly seriously by the day.

E3 2020 was canceled because Corona-chan, and then '21 was an online event memorable only because of how games took a back seat to these freaks:


And now it's 2022, and nothing interesting is happening, and I'm watching not-E3 much like I'd watch Telemundo on mute in a hospital waiting room, because there's nothing else to do.

 

[Psyduck]

Will we get Dragon's Dogma 2!?!!

 

[Miller]

Then the next notable thing was Microsoft turning the Xbox One into a dystopian nightmare:


leading Sony to flex on it, in one of the funniest things they've ever done outside of the Kevin Butler ads:

and then the PS4 was launched into the stratosphere, while Xbox Ones gathered dust on store shelves.

Let's not forget that the PS4 not being sold with the camera was a last minute decision based on the feedback from the Xbox conference.

 

[Leaf Wage Slave]

The only RPG that Square publishes or develops that I can trust anymore is Dragon Quest.

And that is only because they let Yuji Horii do whatever he wants with the series and stays out of his way.

Also the fact that if they fucked up Dragon Quest, the entirety of Japan might try to murder whoever did it.

Seriously, when a series has its release dates treated like unofficial holidays, you don’t fuck with it

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Honestly, after finding out that Tommy Vercetti is no longer with us, I’m just shocked that E3 2022 did not give a proper tribute to him. Instead, we’re just mourning the fact that SF6 is no longer Street Fighter and the new Final Fantasy and Resident Evil games just seem like another cash grab.

 

[Übertroon]

Define disappointing. Does this include all companies or the majority as Nintendo has easily carried most E3s. I guess 2016 was probably the last fully disappointing one.

I'm getting tired of hearing this. Unless you're one of those people who buy pokemon games ecery year and like bing bing wahoo games Nintendo has just been noise for two decades

 

[Cubanodun]

There are plenty of good action RPGs, but modern Square Enix doesn't make any of 'em

Thats mostly FALCOM territory even when Final fantasy homos dont want to admit it, and any person that has not played Y's deserve scorn and to be bullied

Also the fact that if they fucked up Dragon Quest, the entirety of Japan might try to murder whoever did it.

Seriously, when a series has its release dates treated like unofficial holidays, you don’t fuck with it

Dragon quest is literally a institution on Japan, the fact that tampering with the formula is frowned universally and the only thing Square has not manage to fuck up is a testament of the if "its not broken dont fix it", of course they add one of two things but a boomer can pick Dragon quest 2 and then play 11 (not 1 because party system was added in 2) and it plays mostly the same, no need of min maxing, autistic damage charts or super complicated strategies just grind, get money, you are set, you want to start in JRPG? you pick dragon quest

i would personally recommend people to start with 3, there is a remake with the Octopath traveler engine you can start there

 

[pururun]

Bitchin' oh wait jap, FUCK. There's no way Popful Mail's gonna make the cut since it's probably one of those games with rights issues, the US publisher shut down and the owner possibly died of cancer(hasn't made a public appearance in about 6 years). That also means the two lunar games are out, I HOPE they're considering Snatcher or Lords of Thunder for this thing, because their options for good games are gonna be seriously limited.

Snatcher would be an easy win, still blows my mind that the TG-16 mini included it, but didn't bother to translate it into English.

 

[Basic Blonde Boy]

I'm getting tired of hearing this. Unless you're one of those people who buy pokemon games ecery year and like bing bing wahoo games Nintendo has just been noise for two decades

Nintendo typically pulls out one or two impressive games a year, 2017 not counted. 2018 had Smash, 2019 had FE and Luigi's Mansion, 2020 had Xenoblade DE and arguably Origami King, and 2021 had WarioWare and Cruis'n I guess.

I would agree if you play Mario sports or Pokémon, but the rest is alright.

 

[BananaSplit]

I'm getting tired of hearing this. Unless you're one of those people who buy pokemon games ecery year and like bing bing wahoo games Nintendo has just been noise for two decades

Current Nintendo has been showcasing third-party games in their Switch directs for years and it's been my number #1 system for japanese games & indies in general. Special mention to the japanese indie direct focusing a lot more on gameplay mechanics than its western counterpart, thus filtering the pretentious garbage.

Spoiler: Youtube vids

 

[Marissa Moira]

Current Nintendo has been showcasing third-party games in their Switch directs for years and it's been my number #1 system for japanese games & indies in general. Special mention to the japanese indie direct focusing a lot more on gameplay mechanics than its western counterpart, thus filtering the pretentious garbage.

Spoiler: Youtube vids

Well you just proved his point by showing that they certainly have shovelware. All those games fall into the bad habits of their western counterparts, from minimal effort next in series that may as well be a copy and paste job to DLC out the wazoo that leaves you with the shell of a base game.

And it can't be the #1 system for Japanese games since the #1 Japanese game is Elden Ring.

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

Thats mostly FALCOM territory even when Final fantasy homos dont want to admit it, and any person that has not played Y's deserve scorn and to be bullied

Speaking of Falcom, dunno if I'll ever get to say this, so now's my chance:

Gurumin was A Hat in Time before it was cool. Fight me, 3D platformer fags.

Well you just proved his point by showing that they certainly have shovelware. All those games fall into the bad habits of their western counterparts, from minimal effort next in series that may as well be a copy and paste job to DLC out the wazoo that leaves you with the shell of a base game.

Every console has shovelware, dipshit. Case in point:

 

[IDanceonTrannyGraves]

I’m just waiting for Nintendo.

I honestly have no predictions. This year just seems barren.

I've bought 53 Switch games since February. It's not barren.

Well you just proved his point by showing that they certainly have shovelware. All those games fall into the bad habits of their western counterparts, from minimal effort next in series that may as well be a copy and paste job to DLC out the wazoo that leaves you with the shell of a base game.

And it can't be the #1 system for Japanese games since the #1 Japanese game is Elden Ring.

Gundam and Super Robot Wars are not shovelware, you stupid fucking cunt.

 

[Übertroon]

Nintendo typically pulls out one or two impressive games a year, 2017 not counted. 2018 had Smash, 2019 had FE and Luigi's Mansion, 2020 had Xenoblade DE and arguably Origami King, and 2021 had WarioWare and Cruis'n I guess.

I would agree if you play Mario sports or Pokémon, but the rest is alright.

I mean, if a definitive edition and Warioware is enough to keep you entertained for two years then sure, but I'm going to judge you heavily for it. Same as how a definitive edition of Demon Souls and a new Ratchet & Clank title doesn't really sell the PS5. Truth is they're all doing shit, and I'm tired of hearing about how Nintendo is saving E3 by announcing that there will be Super Metroid Prime 4, sometime, maybe not next year, but eventually

 

[Dojima's Dragon]

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If you can throw God knows how much money on a billion Sonic and Yakuza games, you can spend a few bucks getting good Saturn and Dreamcast emulators and slapping ROMs on them. READ. THE. GODDAMN. ROOM.

Hey nigger dont diss kiryu though sonic is autistic and sega for not making dreamcast mini