Elliot Page / Ellen Page - Former actress, starred in Juno. Turned into a pooner and divorced her wife because being a lesbian was not boosting her career anymore. Receives a daily dose of asspatting from Hollywood. Likes to show off her "male" body using fake abdominals.

[Procrastinhater]

And both are just two stories in a huge epic that begins with Zeus turning into a swan to rape a lady who births Helen of Troy, up through the story of the golden apples, then Odysseus deciding to try and draft-doge MASH-style, then Agamenmon deciding it's totally okay to lure his daughter to where he's got his army camped under false pretenses to kill her, to the Illiad, Euripedes' play The Trojan Women (and a bunch of his other plays set during the Trojan War), the Oresteias where we're introduced to the Furies and Athena decides to invest jury duty, and finally to The Odyssey.

Why is no one making this TV series? Granted, I wouldn't want them to because it would be infested with modern identity politics, but still...

I always loved the Classical myths and stories. I studied Greek and Persian history when I was doing my degree, (before I realized the chance of making enough money in that field to raise a family was such a long shot it wasn't worth it, thats why I ended up in Construction, its not what I wanted to do but I make a hell of a lot more money) I've always thought those stories would make for a great show if it was done properly and by someone with the budget to make it, like HBO, you're right though, if it was done now it'd be filled with idPol bullshit and just another faggot propaganda piece, I'd rather not see it than see it bastardized by the fucking chomo freaks that run the modern entertainment industry.

I've been wracking my brain to genuinely think of a character that Ellen could believably play, and I'm stumped, no matter what role they give her its gonna require such a huge suspension of disbelief by the audience to see that ridiculous Pooner with her wheedling, croaky T voice, as who she's trying to portray.
I'd also put money that she insists on doing scenes topless, with her mastectomy scars and her ghastly fake abs on full display.

 

[LimeRikki]

I've been wracking my brain to genuinely think of a character that Ellen could believably play

The cyclops, Polyphemus, clearly. Just give lil' dood some stilts, it'll be fine.

 

[Overly Serious]

Eh, she doesn't talk like that, doesn't even have a blaccent really. Disney trained her to speak white.

I thought Zendaya was Swedish. Don't think there's any reason she should have some sterotypical "Ebonic" accent, is there?

About this film, anyway - do we know if it's going to be "realistic" like the Brad Pitt / Eric Bana / Dianne Kruger one? Or is it going to be mythic with gods and goddesses? If the latter then Hermes could work as he's the trickster god beloved of alchemists obsesses with transmutation; and Lord knows she permanently looks like she's just run a marathon.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I thought Zendaya was Swedish.

She's from Oakland.

Her dad's Black American (he reclaimed an African name after a DNA test) and her mother has German and Scottish heritage, also born in Oakland.

Eh, she doesn't talk like that, doesn't even have a blaccent really. Disney trained her to speak white.

I doubt Disney had to teach her anything.

I used to think she was a mexican because of the name,

Her name is Shona, a (primarily) Zimbabwe-region language.

 

[Niggie Smalls]

her mother has German and Scottish heritage

Well the presence of Scottish blood goes some way to explaining her absolutely vile face.

 

[Overly Serious]

She's from Oakland.

Her dad's Black American (he reclaimed an African name after a DNA test) and her mother has German and Scottish heritage, also born in Oakland.

I could have sworn she was half-Swedish. In that case, who the Fuck am I thinking of?

 

[Tali Tali]

Amandla Stenberg from the Acolyte show

I could have sworn she was half-Swedish. In that case, who the Fuck am I thinking of?

 

[Procrastinhater]

Her name is Shona, a (primarily) Zimbabwe-region language.

You mean Rhodesia.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

You mean Rhodesia.

Sure, sure. But ackshually, "Rhodesia" isn't even in the running for Shona:

Spoiler

Since 1895 (the first Rhodesia effort):
Zimbabwe: ~45 years
Southern Rhodesia: ~44 years
Rhodesia: ~20 years (14 unrecognized, but ok)
Federation of Rhodesia and Nyasaland: ~10 years
So most generously, 45/44/30. Plus a year rounding error.

Rough timeline: Current-day Zambia and Zimbabwe were Rhodesia 1895-1901, then split Northern Rhodesia (Zambia, basically) and Southern Rhodesia (Zimbabwe) from 1901-1953 (SR self-governing in 1923), then S.R. was part of a federation with Northern Rhodesia and Nyasaland to 1963, then it was Southern Rhodesia to 1965, then just Rhodesia 1965 - 1979 (unrecognized state) after Northern Rhodesia became Zambia. Zimbabwe since 1980.



Northern vs Southern Rhodesia matters when it comes to Shona. Shona is the official language in Zimbabwe/ Southern Rhodesia, but in Zambia/ Northern Rhodesia, the official language is English and the biggest languages in Zambia (there are 72) are Nyanja and Bemba; Shona is there but a tiny percent - about 50k people of over 20M population.

 

[Kitty kitty cat]

Her dad's Black American (he reclaimed an African name after a DNA test)

Her dad needed a DNA test to confirm he has african roots? Thats something.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Her dad needed a DNA test to confirm he has african roots? Thats something.

Lol, my bad. He changed his first and middle names to Yoruban names after testing indicated Nigerian heritage.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

I can't believe Ellen had no shame in mentioning in her autobiography that she ate ants as a kid because Mowgli did it in the animated movie. Are we sure she's not autistic or something? How did no one tell her to keep such embarrassing moments out of the book?

 

[LimeRikki]

I can't believe Ellen had no shame in mentioning in her autobiography that she ate ants as a kid because Mowgli did it in the animated movie. Are we sure she's not autistic or something? How did no one tell her to keep such embarrassing moments out of the book?

Her words and behavior scream "attention seeking" rather than autism, to me.

I'm sure she's going back through her childhood, reaching for absolutely anything she can to use as evidence that she's "always been a man". She has to prove it to herself now that she has mutilated herself to the point of no return us. #TransJoy

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

I'm sure she's going back through her childhood, reaching for absolutely anything she can to use as evidence that she's "always been a man". She has to prove it to herself now that she has mutilated herself to the point of no return us. #TransJoy

I'm inclined to believe this. The mention of Mowgli is just her grabbing at straws just to demonstrate how she ALWAYS felt like a boy.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Nah, I'm pretty sure that emulating Mowgli eating ants, and her lack of hesitance to mention it, is a good indicator of autism.

 

[beautiful person]

Nah, I'm pretty sure that emulating Mowgli eating ants, and her lack of hesitance to mention it, is a good indicator of autism.

I could also see an autistic chick thinking that eating ants is a very boy thing to do, rather than a very autistic thing to do. So she thinks it makes her seem masculine at heart, but only because she's autistic.

 

[Adrenochrome Dreams]

When I was a toddler I tried eating grass from the garden (yes I am autistic). My literal thought process was something like “cows and horses do it, so I can too”. It got stuck in the back of my mouth and my mum had to fish it out.

I’m pretty sure that trying to eat things you shouldn’t is standard toddler behavior.

But by Ellen’s logic this grass eating could be evidence of an internal cow-kin trans species identity.

 

[LimeRikki]

Its the bringing it up as an adult that screams attention seeking to me. Everyone does weird shit as a kid occasionally, but as an adult, you know to keep those anecdotes to yourself.

 

[IDontLikeLiberals]

I always loved the Classical myths and stories. I studied Greek and Persian history when I was doing my degree, (before I realized the chance of making enough money in that field to raise a family was such a long shot it wasn't worth it, thats why I ended up in Construction, its not what I wanted to do but I make a hell of a lot more money) I've always thought those stories would make for a great show if it was done properly and by someone with the budget to make it, like HBO, you're right though, if it was done now it'd be filled with idPol bullshit and just another faggot propaganda piece, I'd rather not see it than see it bastardized by the fucking chomo freaks that run the modern entertainment industry.

I've been wracking my brain to genuinely think of a character that Ellen could believably play, and I'm stumped, no matter what role they give her its gonna require such a huge suspension of disbelief by the audience to see that ridiculous Pooner with her wheedling, croaky T voice, as who she's trying to portray.
I'd also put money that she insists on doing scenes topless, with her mastectomy scars and her ghastly fake abs on full display.

Horse's ass part of a centaur?

 

[Procrastinhater]

Horse's ass part of a centaur?

Lol maybe. I think the only part of Ellen that you could mistake for a man is that Hank Hill ass.