Elliot Page / Ellen Page - Former actress, starred in Juno. Turned into a pooner and divorced her wife because being a lesbian was not boosting her career anymore. Receives a daily dose of asspatting from Hollywood. Likes to show off her "male" body using fake abdominals.

[Haram-Habibi]

Shit, if you just couldn't "tolerate" being an aging female, you could just get a ton of plastic surgery or botox like all the other actresses in Hollywood.

Yeah, after your third face lift, you'd look like a weirdo. That's still got to be better than getting fake abs, and hoping that would finally NOT make you look like a 12 year old boy with some (probably fatal/genetic) condition.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Shit, if you just couldn't "tolerate" being an aging female, you could just get a ton of plastic surgery or botox like all the other actresses in Hollywood.

Or develop a drug habit to numb the pain. It's just as delusional and non-rejuvenating as trooning or facelifts, and you might even make some friends along the way, with the added bonus of possibly dying happy (not available with the other two options). At the very least you'd sometimes have sex, unlike troons.

 

[Haram-Habibi]

Or develop a drug habit to numb the pain. It's just as delusional and non-rejuvenating as trooning or facelifts, and you might even make some friends along the way, with the added bonus of possibly dying happy (not available with the other two options). At the very least you'd sometimes have sex, unlike troons.

Hey, why not both? Combining them is still less horrifying than what Ellen did to herself.

Toss in a few car crashes (literal ones, or bad relationships, take your choice), maybe an arrest or two, and she'd be on her way to being a Hollywood legend instead of .....the saddest emo kid in junior high.

 

[pink cigarettes]

On one hand, of course I sympathize with any young woman in Hollywood, who has obviously been surrounded by creeps and weirdos 24/7.
Otoh, not wanting to age and become a yucky old woman is the most wimpy, girly, basic bitch position. Pooners continue to reveal themselves as actually being extremely stereotypically female brained lmao

 

[Jhonson the Two]

Ha! To age gracefully is so old-fashioned.
Be poon or be gone!

 

[Slideshow Bill]

Two new Instagram posts from Ellen.
The most recent is a poster of the new Umbrella Academy season featuring Page.
View attachment 5733150
And the other one is her at some Gucci show. With a suit that actually fits her this time.

This one is really funny because if you look at the other character posters
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They're all clearly walking into frame as their naïve pre-episode 1 selves, wearing their uniforms and with their hair etc like their first appearance, and walking out of frame changed by the events of the show. It's even more noticeable with the non-academy students
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I honestly think it's a clever concept for a poster design because it communicates a lot about how this is the last season and works as a reminder for the wacky adventures they had along the way, while being incredibly simple and visually impactful.
But of course they can't shoe Ellen pre-transition even in the context of "this was the character in season 1" so she throws the whole campaign off.

Ellen looks more feminine in her poster. Did they edit it to make her look like how she did five years ago? Ignoring the elephant in the room is always great for ratings. Interesting posters. Too bad barely anyone is going to watch.

 

[Major]

Pete Doherty only looked like that because he was young and a junkie. He got off the drugs and got really fucking fat. He looks like shit nowadays.

View attachment 5693166

Spoiler

I hate him and wish he'd died instead of Amy Winehouse.

jesus christ

 

[blue gopher snakes]

Shit, if you just couldn't "tolerate" being an aging female, you could just get a ton of plastic surgery or botox like all the other actresses in Hollywood.

Yeah, after your third face lift, you'd look like a weirdo. That's still got to be better than getting fake abs, and hoping that would finally NOT make you look like a 12 year old boy with some (probably fatal/genetic) condition.

Maybe this is dumb, but I’m curious. What are the fake abs made from? Do you think she can always feel them under her skin? I wonder what that’s like, just always being low-level aware of the foreign objects in your abdomen. Do they squish if she leans down to tie her shoes?

 

[batteredpancakes]

Maybe this is dumb, but I’m curious. What are the fake abs made from? Do you think she can always feel them under her skin? I wonder what that’s like, just always being low-level aware of the foreign objects in your abdomen. Do they squish if she leans down to tie her shoes?

Could be abdominal etching; which is just strategically placed liposuction.

 

[pink cigarettes]

Maybe this is dumb, but I’m curious. What are the fake abs made from? Do you think she can always feel them under her skin? I wonder what that’s like, just always being low-level aware of the foreign objects in your abdomen. Do they squish if she leans down to tie her shoes?

afaik from watching weird plastic surgery trash TV shows, you can either get silicone implants, or implants made of a more solid (but still somewhat flexible) material.
This differs from "abdominal etching" btw, which is just sculpting/selectively sucking out the fat to better highlight abs. (ETA: dammit ninja'd by @batteredpancakes)
IANAD but I'm guessing that Ellen has gone the "more solid material" route, given as she has no male form whatsoever, no muscle tone, and those things look chunky and fake AF. I bet they feel hella weird when she moves.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Could be abdominal etching; which is just strategically placed liposuction.

They're implants - they're aligned wrong and don't match up with where her actual abdominal muscles would be.

 

[Marc]

And if you pulled out to cum on her belly, it would settle into the implants like waffle batter poured into an iron someone forgot to plug in.

 

[pink cigarettes]

And if you pulled out to cum on her belly, it would settle into the implants like waffle batter poured into an iron someone forgot to plug in.

Thanks I hate it
Speaking of: Ellen seems like a truly intractable lesbian. Still, what are the odds she ends up being one of those pooners who starts magically feeling less like a tiny vulnerable target because she's all shot up with T, and also is desperate for human affection because everyone is grossed out by her, so she starts trying to date dudes? Many a true & honest dyke has gone down that road

 

[Not A Bunny]

Thanks I hate it
Speaking of: Ellen seems like a truly intractable lesbian. Still, what are the odds she ends up being one of those pooners who starts magically feeling less like a tiny vulnerable target because she's all shot up with T, and also is desperate for human affection because everyone is grossed out by her, so she starts trying to date dudes? Many a true & honest dyke has gone down that road

All I know is she was a certainly okay looking girl. Not a stunner, but had that "girl next door" look which worked for her.

She's not a good looking man. She looks like a young boy trying to look all grown and she never, ever looks happy. And I feel bad for people that I know deep down aren't happy because they're hobbled in some way.

 

[batteredpancakes]

What are the odds she ends up being one of those pooners who starts magically feeling less like a tiny vulnerable target because she's all shot up with T

I'd say she's already there with this one. She comes of as really smug now. Though her book gave me the impression that she a narcissist so I guess that's not really a surprise.
Narcs are the first people to become annoying assholes once they're given a smidge of perceived power (see James Cordon for another great example).

How she can simultaneously be both smug and miserable looking is kinda impressive though.

 

[Narwhal]

She's not a good looking man.

No woman will ever be a good looking man, just like no man will ever be a good looking woman.

 

[Marc]

No woman will ever be a good looking man, just like no man will ever be a good looking woman.

With copes to the contrary being related to the problem of the “body positivity” movement; in that being propagated exclusively by ugly people is what undermines its notions.

I get that the entire fashion industry is centered around helping ugly people sell themselves on the notion that wearing clothing which emphasizes their dysgenic or otherwise unflattering qualities will somehow have the opposite effect - But a byproduct of this patent nonsense is ugly men believing that an ugly man in a dress ripping across his shoulder blades is tantamount to a ravishing lady.

 

[suzieQQ]

From this UnHerd review of Pageboy. I'm sure I remember her saying she didn't want to be an old woman herself but I can't find it now. She experienced a lot of vulnerability & exploitation when young, she had an ED and self-harmed, and becoming older would put her back into that vulnerable physical state that she's trying to avoid. I think the public & industry attention from successful projects probably gave her some clout and temporary immunity from predation and she knew she was on path to losing that too. There's not a lot of roles for older women, and the ones that do fit a particular image of an older woman - e.g. meryl streep - not like tiny doe-eyed Ellen.

What's weird to me is there are plenty of small, cute brunettes who have been working since they were kids and seem to get plenty of work and have aged gracefully. Her argument holds no water. She's just not a great actress.

Linda Cardellini

Spoiler

Anna Paquin

Spoiler

Christina Ricci

Spoiler

 

[Not A Bunny]

With copes to the contrary being related to the problem of the “body positivity” movement; in that it’s only propagated by ugly people.

Every movement that concerns itself with "equality/equity" is always majority populated by either thoroughly mediocre people who have nothing to offer, so they try and elevate themselves on the notion that they deserve a handicap because life isn't fair, or people who don't need the movement but are only too glad to take on the cause so that people who "need" such a movement won't stick their head on a pike...first.

 

[Marc]

Yes; it turns out that “equality of outcome” can only be enforced on one’s eyeballs through blinding them. Even then, I imagine Ellen smelling like a bag of dirty seashells and Axe body spray.