Elliot Page / Ellen Page - Former actress, starred in Juno. Turned into a pooner and divorced her wife because being a lesbian was not boosting her career anymore. Receives a daily dose of asspatting from Hollywood. Likes to show off her "male" body using fake abdominals.

[The Ugly One]

Man these motherfuckers don't even bother with the behavioural aspect of trying to pass anymore, huh? Just lop your tits off and you're good to go? If I was being crippled by thoughts of not being a man every day I'd at least try real hard to not go "Oh my gawwwd lemme do a cute little pose with my new book X3 baiiii".
Let me guess: "THOSE ARE GENDERED STEREOTYPES AND QUEERNESS IS FLUID SO YOU CAN ACTUALLY ACT HOWEVER YOU LIKE"- why transition at all then?

This is how pooner brain works:

men and women are identical
the differences are socially constructed
thus i can identify as whatever i want
i identify as a man
because my brain doesn't work like a woman's
i don't think like a woman
or act like one
or like women's stuff
that makes me a man
but wait
you said
i don't like man stuff
or act like man
or talk like a man
or socialize like a man
well
i don't have to do that
men can be anything
what makes me a man is
i said i'm one
this is logical to me

 

[Oliver Onions]

Not to go too off topic but I looked up I Saw the TV Glow out of curiosity and it's directed by they/them transbian Jane (dead name Daniel) Schoenbrun. Look at this beast. Easiest way to be a female director in Hollywood is to start off as a man.
View attachment 5988192

I am detecting a certain physiognomy here. And the Early Life says...

We have a winner! Thanks for playing, everyone. Something tells me it wasn't being a man that helped him get his start in Hollywood.

 

[Terffals]

This is how pooner brain works:

men and women are identical
the differences are socially constructed
thus i can identify as whatever i want
i identify as a man
because my brain doesn't work like a woman's
i don't think like a woman
or act like one
or like women's stuff
that makes me a man
but wait
you said
i don't like man stuff
or act like man
or talk like a man
or socialize like a man
well
i don't have to do that
men can be anything
what makes me a man is
i said i'm one
this is logical to me

Poetry, you could do a whole book of those and be the trans Rupi Kaur. Pooni Kaur.

my packer
on the floor of the
Men’s room
it went splat
and jiggled
just
a little
on its descent
from my
Tomboy
(tm)
briefs

silicone
splat

echoing

on the
Men’s
room floor

i am a man
i am, i am

 

[Tragon Dirtle]

It's worse than that - the show is basically a stand in for Buffy.
The main characters get obsessed with the show as teenager. The lesbian character basically kills herself to become Buffy, while the boy ends up living a depressing failed life prevaricating about if he should kill himself to become Buffy and in the coda it's sort of implied he does - he hallucinates cutting open his chest to reveal a TV playing Buffy and then is blanked by everyone like he's a ghost. If this sounds suspiciously like something else -

-Sarah Michelle Gellar should maybe start reviewing her security arrangements.

thank you @Coo Coo Bird

so the plot of the movie is literally this meme:



I hope there's the right screencap to make a movie-specific version of the meme.

 

[Procrastinhater]

thank you @Coo Coo Bird

so the plot of the movie is literally this meme:

View attachment 5992298

I hope there's the right screencap to make a movie-specific version of the meme.

There's a Shia LaBeouf version

 

[Slideshow Bill]

View attachment 5988971

Most of the critic reviews are glowing, anti-capitalist trans dysphoria stylish blah blah and all of the reviews critic or audience keep repeating that it's just like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so I guess deliberately whedon humour? but none of the reviews actually mention finding it funny. Or they're bots, because it's practically every review. The honest critic reviews say basically nothing happens, as do some of the audience reviews written by actual teens. There's also musical numbers performed by Phoebe Bridgers and Caroline Polachek who are the currently popular Sad Girls.

>discovers a supernatural world through a late night TV show
Wasn't this an American Dad episode where Stan gets addicted to a TV from the 60s where nothing really happens that's actually a dimension that traps its watchers in the show for eternity?

 

[JelloJerk]

>discovers a supernatural world through a late night TV show
Wasn't this an American Dad episode where Stan gets addicted to a TV from the 60s where nothing really happens that's actually a dimension that traps its watchers in the show for eternity?

This just sounds like a Candle Cove reference. It's a classic Creepypasta that takes place in a forum where people are remembering this old creepy kids show from the 70s, but gasp! The twist is that they were staring at static the whole time!! Who was phone??!?

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

>discovers a supernatural world through a late night TV show
Wasn't this an American Dad episode where Stan gets addicted to a TV from the 60s where nothing really happens that's actually a dimension that traps its watchers in the show for eternity?

This just sounds like a Candle Cove reference. It's a classic Creepypasta that takes place in a forum where people are remembering this old creepy kids show from the 70s, but gasp! The twist is that they were staring at static the whole time!! Who was phone??!?

Yeah, the only novel thing about this is the director being a troon.

 

[Safir]

Heckin' masc, dood!

Not fair. She's a celebrity hawking her memoir, particularly an exploited celebrity hawking her true and honest memoir. She has to be showing her face.
If a male geek celebrity was advertising a funko pop of himself, he'd be in the shot, too.

 

[Norbert the Tiger]

She reminds me of Ian Curtis here.

Please do not insult the memory of Ian Curtis or impugn the legacy of Joy Division in this way.

This picture is making the rounds on twitter....

 

[Procrastinhater]

Please do not insult the memory of Ian Curtis or impugn the legacy of Joy Division in this way.

This picture is making the rounds on twitter....
View attachment 5994727

She really thinks that many people are going to buy her book?
How many Beavers went hungry to produce that many books?

He's judging you Ellen.

 

[37yearolddickrightnow]

Stole this from X - gave me a good chuckle

 

[Constellationzero]

Please do not insult the memory of Ian Curtis or impugn the legacy of Joy Division in this way.

This picture is making the rounds on twitter....
View attachment 5994727

Salvation Army/Goodwill/Savers shipment receiving colorized.

 

[Crex Crex]

Please do not insult the memory of Ian Curtis or impugn the legacy of Joy Division in this way.

This picture is making the rounds on twitter....
View attachment 5994727

She looks like a teen with progeria.

 

[Izdaja Slika]

Please do not insult the memory of Ian Curtis or impugn the legacy of Joy Division in this way.

This picture is making the rounds on twitter....
View attachment 5994727

The cover of her book is hardcringe, and I look at a lot of cringe to make that call.

There are two possibilities: either Page said to her people "I've got an idea for the cover--I'll pose in a wifebeater like I'm a muscular working class man, yeah, Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire! I'm gonna be so butch!" and her people thought it was a good idea and arranged for it or they recognised it as a hardcringe idea and they arranged for it anyway.

Or, her people suggested it to her, and Page couldn't tell it wasn't hardcringe.

Ain't anyone in her life who loves her, or has courage.

 

[TVB]

Please do not insult the memory of Ian Curtis or impugn the legacy of Joy Division in this way.

This picture is making the rounds on twitter....
View attachment 5994727

I'm never going to listen to Joy Division the same way ever again. Now when I listened to them, I'll end up thinking about a trooned beaver

 

[Procrastinhater]

I'm never going to listen to Joy Division the same way ever again. Now when I listened to them, I'll end up thinking about a trooned beaver

Think about a Patriotic Beaver instead.

Spoiler: Bober

Kurwa

Thanks to this thread I now collect Bober.
I think its the tails. I've always found Beavers funny for some reason. This thread has helped me realize how much.
The thought these guys mentally scarred Ellen so much is hilarious to me.

 

[TVB]

Think about a Patriotic Beaver instead.

The only patriotic beaver I know is Muscular Beaver

 

[Arkin O'Brien]

Think about a Patriotic Beaver instead.
View attachment 6001351

Spoiler: Bober

View attachment 6001355View attachment 6001356View attachment 6001357View attachment 6001358
Kurwa

Thanks to this thread I now collect Bober.
I think its the tails. I've always found Beavers funny for some reason. This thread has helped me realize how much.
The thought these guys mentally scarred Ellen so much is hilarious to me.

Beavers are like the cutest parts of an otter and a squirrel mixed together. I cannot imagine why anyone would be afraid of them. But Ellen is a neurotic weirdo who finds life itself traumatizing so it fits.

 

[Procrastinhater]

Beavers are like the cutest parts of an otter and a squirrel mixed together. I cannot imagine why anyone would be afraid of them. But Ellen is a neurotic weirdo who finds life itself traumatizing so it fits.

They're like the most goofy looking animals. I know there's land owners that have repeated problems with them because they can be destructive, they clash with land owners because people generally want agricultural land and Beavers try to turn wherever they live into swamps, they make lakes, and their engineering projects can flood out a good patch of your property and cause you hassles like access roads being washed out, irrigation channels being diverted or stopped up, and stuff like that, but they're just doing whats in their instincts.
I know one guy that woke up with a mini lake almost to his back door because a Beaver family had been disrupted by building work, and they moved upstream, settling and damming a stream on his property, he removed the dam and the Beavers rebuilt it overnight, even bigger than before.
Even then he refused to shoot them or harm them because he thought they were neat, he just didn't want a dam on his property, he had to get Fish and Game to come out and relocate them.

I've seen videos of them being aggressive but the ones I've seen in person avoid people, they're quite alert and when they sense people approaching they retreat into their pools.
It's just so bizarre that of all thing Ellen would develop this complex about being attacked by fucking Beavers, but she still went and swam where they were.
Beaver pools are full of broken off logs and branches, not an ideal place for a dip.