Elliot Page / Ellen Page - Former actress, starred in Juno. Turned into a pooner and divorced her wife because being a lesbian was not boosting her career anymore. Receives a daily dose of asspatting from Hollywood. Likes to show off her "male" body using fake abdominals.

[Tragon Dirtle]

She really does sound like she wanted to fuck Ian. She literally calls him sexy. Like she was probably able to get that intimate with him in the first place because he was gay but would have made things romantic/sexual if the option was there. Ellen's a fag hag. Bisexual, but a fag hag.

Also, she was actually skinwalking Carrie. As good as it was for her, that she had a crush on Carrie (she already had before going) is probably why she went at all. That's also really BPD - they attach themselves to someone and mimic their personalities and interests to make up for lacking their own and to feel and get close to that person. But they will genuinely think that they're taking an independent interest that just happens to coincide, they never see it as a repeat pattern until it's pointed out to them. And it would make sense why she's never become this outspoken environmentalist because if it is FPing then her interest will have ended when her interest in Carrie did, unless it's something that can be used to hook in more people, which I doubt for Hollywood.

I wonder if she split on Paula (instead of wanting to be exactly like them and constantly around them, the opposite, they're the worst.) And just isn't willing to go into detail because it would make her look bad. Anger is the primary splitting emotion, BPD is a cluster B disorder and it is pretty similar to narcissistic rage. I've always thought that anything that would really make her look bad just wouldn't be put into the book in the first place. I also want to know if something happens to Ian, because at this rate she should have a tattoo of him but doesn't.

 

[Cactus Concerto]

A positive support system, a healthy environment, and a hobby she seems to have felt passionately about. This lifestyle in addition to proper therapy, getting herself clinically diagnosed in regards to her mental issues so they could properly be addressed, and retiring from the Hollywood machine and moving the fuck on would have saved her. It's that simple. And the worst part of this is she had it all within her grasp and refused to make the changes necessary to find happiness in her life.

Forgive me as I haven't read each post about the book (and the last couple pages of the thread; I still need to catch up) so I may be wrong, but it doesn't seem like she had any real ties to Hollywood. Plenty of people who have an appreciation of film do not become actors. She clearly didn't give a fuck about the woman she was dating. With how enamored she seems to be with Ian, it really does feel like horrific experiences with men when she was younger led to her homosexuality, further strengthened by poor meetings with the types of men that gravitate to Hollywood in the first place, in front of and behind the camera. Perhaps it's bisexuality, but there's no doubt in my mind her insistence on being a tried and true lesbian isn't fueled by trauma.

If Ian was gay, her transitioning makes even more sense. Becoming romantically attached to men she finds 'safe' (i.e. men who are not sexually attracted to her) would be a safe way to nurse her bruised relationship with her sexuality. Becoming a 'gay' man would, in troon theory, bring her closer to being capable of partnering with someone who she finds both sexually attractive and physically/emotionally safe to be around.

More than that though, she could have found someone if she had merely made the changes she clearly needed to make. She could see it and feel it, but decided to go back into the soul grinder 'strengthened' rather than turning the lights off and finding herself a new place to call home.

I sympathize with Ellen and the people like her who fall into the LGBTQ+ disease because of trauma and fucked up childhoods or grooming or worse, I genuinely do. But knowing that she found herself at a crossroads and chose to go in the wrong fucking direction does make me seethe. It did not have to get this bad for her, things did not have to worsen, she had a chance — clear, bright as day, and within her reach — and she blew it off for... Inception (2010), her only noteworthy film post-2009. Her career was in freefall until Umbrella Academy (2019), which was then ruined by her transitioning.

Moving home, starting some type of farm on a smaller residence, costs money and requires connections. But she had started to make them. If she had tried, she could have used 2010 to hustle through some films, get her bank account filled, and start her departure from the industry. Small/indie films, hosting gigs, and voice work (all of which she's done) to help sustain her until she was all settled and then she could have left. She had the opportunity and the tools necessary to get the fuck out of dodge and she chose not to.

She chose misery, she chose a clearly failed relationship, she chose Hollywood and all its bullshit, she chose going through the effort of cutting her breasts off rather than making such effort and going through such lengths to retire and be happy.

I hate that she did that and I don't know why she would. Possibly extreme self-loathing and a habit of forcing one's self to endure negative shit because one believes they deserve to feel so shitty; it surely couldn't be narcissism which is why some remain in Hollywood despite the downsides. It's equal parts infuriating and upsetting to know she was so close. So fucking close.

Hopefully the next chapter explains why she didn't ditch all the negatives and make an actually positive change, but I doubt it.

Fuck, man.

 

[Team TERF]

Made this partially for myself since not all of them are showing up as highlights

• Author's notes / Ch 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10
• 11
• 12
• 13 - part 1, 2

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

Made this partially for myself since not all of them are showing up as highlights

• Author's notes / Ch 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10
• 11
• 12
• 13 - part 1, 2

I was starting to work on organizing the chapters of the thread. You beat me into it!

Do you mind if I add it to the thread? I'm gonna give you credit.

 

[Team TERF]

I was starting to work on organizing the chapters of the thread. You beat me into it!

Do you mind if I add it to the thread? I'm gonna give you credit.

Sure, go ahead

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

Thank you very much.

The Index was made, for the people who want to catch on the recap of the book, now you can view the chapters one by one.

 

[Peaches the Wonder Cat]

She really does sound like she wanted to fuck Ian. She literally calls him sexy. Like she was probably able to get that intimate with him in the first place because he was gay but would have made things romantic/sexual if the option was there. Ellen's a fag hag. Bisexual, but a fag hag.

Also, she was actually skinwalking Carrie.

Could she be skinwalking Ian? He was a manlet, apparently gay, she seems to like him, but maybe she wanted more to be him than to be with him.

 

[Your_deadname_here]

Is there anything to actually support one of those guys of being the ones who did it?

Poetry, you could do a whole book of those and be the trans Rupi Kaur. Pooni Kaur.

my packer
on the floor of the
Men’s room
it went splat
and jiggled
just
a little
on its descent
from my
Tomboy
(tm)
briefs

silicone
splat

echoing

on the
Men’s
room floor

i am a man
i am, i am

ew. ew. cummies

 

[Kitty kitty cat]

Could she be skinwalking Ian? He was a manlet, apparently gay, she seems to like him, but maybe she wanted more to be him than to be with him.

Are we sure Ian is a man and not a pooner?

 

[JelloJerk]

Are we sure Ian is a man and not a pooner?

She would've mentioned it if he was. Plus it was 2010. Those were pretty rare.

 

[Kitty kitty cat]

She would've mentioned it if he was. Plus it was 2010. Those were pretty rare.

True but "he" could be totally stealth... nahhh who am I kidding. Theres no such thing as a stealth pooner.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

I haven’t seen the show in forever, but I do know that Ian was a co-host of her Viceland show Gaycation (and Ellen specifically requested him to be in it)



Hmm, it may be worth pirating this for a rewatch. The Ted Cruz clip is a viral classic, but there were other gems like Ellen listening to yaoi audio dramas with a fujoshi in Japan.

 

[TVB]

I haven’t seen the show in forever, but I do know that Ian was a co-host of her Viceland show Gaycation (and Ellen specifically requested him to be in it)

View attachment 6017172

Hmm, it may be worth pirating this for a rewatch. The Ted Cruz clip is a viral classic, but there were other gems like Ellen listening to yaoi audio dramas with a fujoshi in Japan.

That face here, she still looks like Igor from Young Frankenstein

 

[Peaches the Wonder Cat]

I haven’t seen the show in forever, but I do know that Ian was a co-host of her Viceland show Gaycation (and Ellen specifically requested him to be in it)

View attachment 6017172

Hmm, it may be worth pirating this for a rewatch. The Ted Cruz clip is a viral classic, but there were other gems like Ellen listening to yaoi audio dramas with a fujoshi in Japan.

Ian Daniel is his name, and he has two IMDB credits. The other is:

I know what's in the water.

 

[Silence of the Troons]

Hmm, it may be worth pirating this for a rewatch. The Ted Cruz clip is a viral classic, but there were other gems like Ellen listening to yaoi audio dramas with a fujoshi in Japan.

I don't know about the other episodes, but the first episode was uploaded by VICE on Youtube in 2016 and can be watched for free.

The hangout with the funnywoman fujoshis starts at 13:35 and the yaoi audio CD listening at 14:50.

Here's something that I noticed upon rewatching parts of this: at 17:30, she accuses the fujoshis of objectifying gay sex and not actually understanding the reality of being gay in Japan. Earlier in the video, she and Ian go to a cross-dresser bar in Shinjuku 2-chome earlier in the video and meet an AGP transvestite at 8:13. He says that he cross-dresses as a maid because it makes him feel "like a woman in his heart and demeanor". To this, Ellen says... nothing, in fact she just thinks it's great that he can hang out in a "free awesome space".

And on a second trans related note, it looks like someone at VICE tried to edit the description to reflect reality (that is, irreality, because "Elliot Page" did not exist in 2016), but failed to do it properly.

 

[pink cigarettes]

She would've mentioned it if he was. Plus it was 2010. Those were pretty rare.

2010 in Eugene, Oregon? There were definitely pooners around. But yeah, Ian is an actual man.

Funny how Ellen can now allude to sexual tension between herself and a man (even if she doesn't state it outright). She never would've owned up to it if this was a book about her being a "lesbian," but now it's ok since she is "queer." And she clearly loves to point out that the world sees her as a great big fag. Not a dyke, not a homo even, but a "faggot." Her mythical scary hobos and rednecks would almost certainly actually call her a "fucking dyke" but pooners just love calling themselves faggots.

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

Chapter 14, U-Haul. This one is way shorter compared to the last chapter, but still has a couple of strong points in her life, once again we go back in time when she had to deal with her mother to the idea that she might not like the idea of her daughter being a lesbian.

She even talks about it, to the point that she had to search online if she was really gay. And then his unnatural aversion to males was another point on her trying to figure out her sexuality.

She tried to talk to her mother about it, but the mother was having none of it, shutting her down whenever she bring up the topic.

There was a try on her mother to trying to bring her in a -punfullyintended- straight road again. But to no avail, Ellen was determined to push forward to this path of being a dyke, even though she recognized that her mother was slowly becoming dissapointed on her.

Even wanting her to stay out of boys for a while and wanting to be around girls, I'm not sure how that can work when dealing with a lesbian daughter, but I digress. In a pompous way she says that her mother didn't want Ellen to be with "the queers." She also describes the smell of a party, gross.

And then she says right away that her mother was egotistical for wanting her daughter to be a lady.

She tried again when she started dating Paula.

And again when she was 24. When a woman moved in with her.

She starts talking about her second girlfriend, Paula is out of the picture now. She instantly fell in love with her, and described her night they met, even the first time she confessed exchanging phone numbers.

But obviously, she was so socially inept to make the first move, so after a long while, she reunited the courage to ask her to see a movie with her.

And what was that movie, you may ask?



That's right, Super! A movie starring her, what are the odds?

But then, she too late remember that there was a super sexual scene involving her and one of the character, the cringe was super real. The other girls didn't mind that, apparently. Kind of a disaster of a first date, regardless.

And after some scheming with a friend of hers, they managed to do a party for the sole reason to Ellen to talk to this girl. And absolutely fell in love in her, and they managed to finally break the ice and started laughing and doing shenanigans, truly a fairy tale come true. And then she unironically tells that they did that Scott Pilgrim vs The World panel, of the two lovebirds putting their backs in a wall and looking silly together. She finally managed to get another girl in her spell.

And here she talks about feeling that she started opening more about being with a group of queers while going with this new friend. Also talking about an incident in Paris with Alia, teasing another book in the mentions of it. (Will I read it? Who knows, I'll need stronger booze.) She started going to gay bars more often because of that group of friends, but she felt like it was impossible to be around these people.

And then goes to a mini self-pity sperging, talking about how much she wished to stay in those places and tell fags and troons alike how much she was like them and how she understood their pain.

In one ocassion they finally managed to say "I love you" to each other when she dropped off this girl to her place of work, a coworker saw them in that situation, and after that they made fun of her in the job. Even though they didn't saw her face, the coworkers were laughing their asses off because that girl had a midget for a girlfriend. I guess Minnie Driver is another nickname to the list.

We go back to her mother once again, Ellen would want to talk about her new girlfriend again. The mother this time did not hide her tone of dissapointment when Ellen told her that she was dating another woman. But Ellen did tried being around with men, damn it!

And then an unexpected cameo appears in this book, Leonardo DiCaprio himself. When she was filming Inception, she mentions that she had a great connection with him and they became friends. And then she has this connection with Leo's friend, called Peter. And then they went to a double date in Universal Studios, she was with Peter and Leo with his mother. But that relationship didn't last long.

And the relationship with this girl also went to shit really fast. Since the two moved together really fast and couldn't handle all the responsibilities of mantaining a new house. And this is where the title of the chapter comes from. They fucked up.

And the breakup was even worse.

But don't you worry, because she came back to her, only to manipulate her into getting in contact with a new crush that Ellen had.

No wonder she left you afterwards.

And this is when she talks about how really really stressful she was with working with cis men all the time, it was literally killing her, guys! Also the first time she started talking about her dysphoria, and started having shingles because of the stress.

She was getting desperate on telling her therapist about it. She feels that the thing she needed was a sense of control over something, but can't manage to see what during the time.

Years after the incident with her mother, they would start talking again about it. It seems that after all of this time she was only worried that her daughter would have a rough future ahead, having society judging her and being mean to her. And she was sorry about what she told her.

And then she finally accepted Ellen as a pooner. Who knows what actually made her change her mind like that but for now we got this happy ending for her and her mother. Her mother stopped being a meanie bigot.

She then ends the chapter talking a little bit more about her mother. And how this experience on becoming a dood might changed her mother "for the better".

 

[Kari Kamiya]

It kinda comes off more like all Ellen wanted to talk about with her mother was about how totally gay she was, and no one, not even one's parents, wants to hear that shit every single time from their adult children. Even parents of normal straights don't want to hear about the bedroom. Asking for advice on relationship issues is the exception as long as you don't then go on about gay woes and all that.

Besides, I thought her parents didn't care about her future after allowing her to be a child star? Was this more of a regret and it eating away at the mom for years before now? Is this Ellen just coping if only because she's claiming that now she has the love of a parent she wanted all along? Is she still not on good terms with her dad?

 

[Terfmaster9000]

I dub this The Book That Should Have Stayed A Series Of Tumblr Posts

 

[Peaches the Wonder Cat]

"A tiny bug running to the rim of an upside-down juice glass." I don't even know what this is supposed to mean, and I'm not convinced Ellen Page isn't an alien trying to emulate purple prose.

Also imagine spending years trying to convince mom that you're not straight, you're lesbian, and now having to convince her that no, you actually are straight, but a straight dood now.