Ethan Ralph challenges Null to a literal dick measuring contest

[TheGuntinator]

And Null said noooo no, nooooo nonono, noooo no. You're not the one for me.

 

[Got Milk!]

You guys are all missing the point. Ralph clearly listened to the latest mati stream and is scoping out to see if there's any room for him to be the balls on the dick.

 

[Punished Puck]

This is only the 2nd gayest thing about Ralph this year

 

[KKKaan]

Are we all just going to overlook the fact that Ralph clearly wants a threesome with his horse and the slobber mutt?
View attachment 4710128

Q: What's worse than having gay sex with Ralph?
A: Having a threesome with Ralph and Meigh.

 

[Miller]

The only person allowed to see Josh's benis is his future wife Brittany Venti.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

If we’re going to have a proper Dick Off who’s going
To be the judge?

 

[Gaunt King Ithan Rilph]

Ok, I settled this for us via autism and I hate I had to measure Ralph's dick but here's the results
View attachment 4706480

Spoiler: THE ANSWER - NSFL

View attachment 4706472

View attachment 8 and a ½ inch.webp

 

[RL Steinbeck]

Isn’t Ralph like 5’ 3”? I’d be surprised if his dick was longer than most peoples pinkies.

For what it’s worth, height does not have any correlation to dick size. In Ralph’s case his two-inch-killer is simply a result of his baby-dicked lineage. It’s cocktail shrimp all the way down.

 

[The Fountainhead]

 

[A Real Munson]

I think a lot of people here are being unfair and frankly, unscientific.

The Memphis Micro may in fact actually be 8 inches. The problem is that Ralph is a literal ham planet. His gunt has it's own gravitational field. The additional gravity is not only reducing the measured size, but it creates a gravitational lensing effect. This causes light escaping the mass of his gunt to bend, which further reduces the apparent size of his junk when observed on camera. It has the same effect on his height.

TL;DR the mass of the Gunt causes him to appear to be a 5'1"" manlet with a micropenis.

 

[Telemeter]

I think a lot of people here are being unfair and frankly, unscientific.

The Memphis Micro may in fact actually be 8 inches. The problem is that Ralph is a literal ham planet. His gunt has it's own gravitational field. The additional gravity is not only reducing the measured size, but it creates a gravitational lensing effect. This causes light escaping the mass of his gunt to bend, which further reduces the apparent size of his junk when observed on camera. It has the same effect on his height.

TL;DR the mass of the Gunt causes him to appear to be a 5'1"" manlet with a micropenis.

Not really, all of Ralph's volume is in the Gunt, he's got nothing below the waistline, front or back, and he has tiny chicken legs.

His pelvis fat is hiding half an inch, tops.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

lol @ broke dick farms obsessing over Ralph's hammerin hog. His dick is a lot bigger than you saw on the video it's just the angle and that he wasn't really fully hard and gravity was being weird that day plus the camera is one of those cameras that makes dicks look smaller plus it was photoshopped I've been on this rant before loooool

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

The only person allowed to see Josh's benis is his future wife Brittany Venti.

ah i see you too a fellow jersh x venti man of culture too. farmers may not like it, but it is the indisputable truth, eventually those two will be married.

 

[Harvey Danger]

You guys got this all wrong. Ralph isn't thinking about Josh's dick, he's trying to get everyone else to think about Josh's dick. And he succeeded.

Common Ralphamale W.

 

[yydszmiteg2]

You guys got this all wrong. Ralph isn't thinking about Josh's dick, he's trying to get everyone else to think about Josh's dick. And he succeeded.

Common Ralphamale W.

Maybe the real work was the white race we saved along the way.

 

[Post Reply]

View attachment 4713296

The indentations in Ethan's cheek fat from his sunglasses are strangely disturbing. It's like he's been wearing goggles.

 

[Action Orange]

It's pretty funny how gunt's fat pubic mound makes his dick look EVEN SMALLER. He truly is his own worst enemy.

 

[Kheapathic]

This is all very gay, and Ralph is most definitely a closeted homosexual; but a quick penis fact.

Men, the more overweight you are, the smaller your penis presents. There's also a number of other things like childhood obesity is a negative for physical development, as well as other health issues. Since Ralph has been a fatty his entire life, and appears to have ballooned even more after the Faith tape; it's not unconceivable for him to be rocking a fierce two inches.

I'd tell Josh to go for it, because this would be an easy win. But I figure the truth is, Ralph not only wants to see it, but he wants to touch it. All that time he spent whining to Ade about Josh's dick; you just know he's imagining it like a large bottle of Maker's Mark and his mouth starts watering. You're fucking gay Ralph, and you have a tiny dick.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Just a couple of bros hanging out on stream, getting hard together and measuring their dicks shoulder to shoulder.

The story here is Ralph just needs to charge his JO crystal by jackin' it with a bud. No gay stuff but a possible handjob exchange.

 

[Kept Ya Waiting Huh]

Brokebuck Cowtain