Ethan Ralph, Fugitive from Justice

[Heavy Rainfall2]

COURTROOM OPERATOR? MORE LIKE COURTROOM DICKSUCKA

Honestly kinda shocked he actually didn't get fucked over too bad. 600 bucks is probably a lotta money for him though

 

[RollerGator]

Common Ralph dub

 

[The Polaroid Man]

Ralph’s law dictates that every W is met with an equal or greater L. Can’t wait to see what’s next

 

[Paranoia Machine]

Damn, I was really looking forward to a Ralph-On-The-Run-From-Bounty-Hunters Arc.

 

[Oeselian Chad]

God, he really is the Houdini of legal issues.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

He has yet to pay the fine.
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Just write it off as a business expense, that's how things work right? Tax free!

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

It always lifts my spirits to see the conclusion of a mini RalphaCycle. For those that are unaware, it goes a little like this:

1. Do something stupid.
2. Face consequences.
3. Freak the fuck out.
4. Tell everyone how it isn’t a bit deal.
5. Freak the fuck out.
6. Tell everyone how it will never happen.
7. Happens.
8. Freak the fuck out.
9. Pay a small fine and handle it like a normal person.
10. Go absolutely nuts at this huge fucking win.
11. Do something even more stupid than original because you’re unstoppable.

After all these years I'm convinced Ralph is the DSP of petty criminals. He spends a year in the clink and all other offences he committed seemingly wash away without real consequence since he's in Mexico, short of not paying the fine there isn't any chance he'll violate probation. It's a Christmas miracle!!!!

 

[Canard]

It was a $587 fine? Was this after making a deal with the judge, or was that always an option?

Funnily enough I think actual maximum fine is 250... But he pleaded it to 500....

 

[Bunkerhousing]

Everybody is noticing Ralphs competence compared to Rekieta in the handling of this case.

However, the most competent actors in this is the Minnesota court, by issuing the nationwide warrant they efficiently got Ralph to play ball, submit and plead guilty.

Well played Minnesotan court. You truly felted the gunt.

 

[Cuckoman]

Severely alcoholic and substance abuser Pig-Man promptly resolves a legal issue from a different country.

When he has paid the fee, he will have worked on and resolved a legal issue with a successful outcome.
Ralph will have a better success-rate than Cuckita has for resolving legal cases!

He should start a new channel where he pretends to be a lawyer and talks about current legal cases, giving his expert opinion and commentary.
He should start with analyzing the cuckoid non-practicing lawyers case.

 

[Homer Simpson]

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He sure showed us?

Guessing he did it because we would bully him about not being able to see his son, and only his son.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Damn, I was really looking forward to a Ralph-On-The-Run-From-Bounty-Hunters Arc.

Imagine him stealthily moving from place to place in his beat up car. With a fake mustache and a wig.

 

[There Is Light At The End]

Ralph’s law dictates that every W is met with an equal or greater L. Can’t wait to see what’s next

His xannie popping ways catch up with him?

 

[demicolon]

So are we taking bets on how long it's going to take him to violate the probation conditions?

It depends: how expensive Hanah is in Mehico?

 

[Haramburger]

Ya know what, good on Ralph for resolving this like an actual functional adult.

This is "resolved" the same way Shaniqua takes out a cash loan to buy both medicine, cigarettes & liquor in the same transaction at a pharmacy superstore.

Keep in mind the whole scenario: I am ragepig. I flew from my child support refuge to violate court recording orders for an internet friend that I hardly even know for a case that doesn't involve me. Now it's a problem for my monthly visit with one of my children(that I refuse to pay for ). I have agreed to pay money I don't have(yet) to continue balancing this retarded lifestyle, on the grounds that I check in with an officer throughout the next year and act like a person that doesn't beat wives so hard they flee countries.

Even trannies don't live lives in such a convoluted yet unproductive way, it's amazing.

 

[Begemot]

Gotta feel bad for young Xander. I'm sure very soon he'll be taken to another confusing play date where a misshapen, reddish, slovenly mouth breathing man pig ogles him from the other side of a plexiglass partition and begs him 'Jus cawl me daddy, suuuu...we gonna own the alogs:. Confusing times ahead. Fortunately Xander will forget him shortly after.

Cog, when all this ends you'll worship Ethan Ralph with tears running down your dysgenic cockney face.

 

[C. G. B. Spender]

So... How long untill he fucks up that 1yr probation? Ralph cant go for a month without doing some crazy shit. Also where tf he's gonna get 500 bucks?

Ralph male prostitute arc?

 

[MadStan]

Well, Ralph certainly owned KiwiFarms on this one. Why not that long ago he was streamer living in the US earning decent money and had pull enough to attract ladies, was at events, and people were happy to be photographed with him - even had his own bowling comp and contracts were on the offer. And now he can barely pull a hooker in a slum, living in Mexico in an unfurnished shit hole with piss bottles on the floor, with two kids taken away from him while he streams enough to get some sandwiches down the road and begs for money to keep the lights on.

Total own by Ralph. You guys are just so jealous.

 

[Braphamut]

TBF, Ralph´s case was pretty simple. He did awful things during his life but he has never had such disregard for society, decency and his family as Rekieta does, every day. Ralph is morally and ethically superior to Rackets, that´s why he is free, bish! GOD´S PLAN!!!!!

I disagree. The only difference is that Rekieta has safety nets protecting him.

It wasn't that long ago that Ralph was recording himself jeopardizing Rozy's life left and right, before and after birth playing chicken with semi-trailer trucks, raw dogging hoors and meigh while pregnant, driving the wrong way down a oneway while polysubstanced out of his mind with Rozy in the back without a safety seat. Lords knows what happened when the cameras were off.

Ralph just ran out of minors and disabled women to abuse, except when he can rent one or both at Hong Kong or those other sex trafficking clubs that recently shut down near him.

They're the same. Ralph just knows fear from experience.

 

[Desktop User2]

I disagree. The only difference is that Rekieta has safety nets protecting him.

It wasn't that long ago that Ralph was recording himself jeopardizing Rozy's life left and right, before and after birth playing chicken with semi-trailer trucks, raw dogging hoors and meigh while pregnant, driving the wrong way down a oneway while polysubstanced out of his mind with Rozy in the back without a safety seat. Lords knows what happened when the cameras were off.

Ralph just ran out of minors and disabled women to abuse, except when he can rent one or both at Hong Kong or those other sex trafficking clubs that recently shut down near him.

They're the same. Ralph just knows fear from experience.

Ralph´s case in undeniably simpler than Rackets´ but that was obviously a shitpost.