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[Kosher Dill]

With his coming-out riddle?

 

[Giovanni]

"HEY THERE, LI'L TRAILHAND. DO YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO REVIVE ZORDON? IT'S VERY POPULAR ON THE LEVELS OF THE TOWER PAST THE BEND."

If Chris had been on Blaine the Mono he'd have blown his circuits while they were still in the Wastelands.

Chris: "You don't have to tell me twice! But during the Stone Age - "

Blaine: "CATACLYSMIC SYSTEM FAILURE"

Spoiler

Little Blaine: "Ow, my axles..."

 

[champthom]

Christ's sake, I don't encourage people to buy shit for Chris but someone get him the goddamn DVDs he's bitching about, maybe he'll shut up about Megan if he gets the damn DVDs.

Okay, this is something that's been bugging me for awhile and I have to point it out. Those DVDs he's bitching about, assuming they are the TRUE AND HONEST officially released ones that ADV put out, ARE.FUCKING.AWFUL. Words can not even begin to describe how shitty the quality was on them. I was really active in the Sailormoon fandom around the time they were released and was excited to buy them but refused when people started reviewing them. Everyone compared them to bootlegs because they were so awful. At that same time, the show was being re-released/re-mastered in Japan and the results were fucking gorgeous. People honest to god speculated that Toei had purposfully given ADV shitty, inferior copies for the North American release so that Japanese people wouldn't import the cheaper American ones. THAT IS HOW FUCKING AWFUL THESE DVDS WERE. The audio was so low that you could barely hear anything. Is that a song playing in the background? Hell if I know because it all sounds like it's being muffled through a blanket. I can't find any comparisons to show how bad they were but these two links are the best I can find for now.

Basically my point is, picture the worst quality DVD you've ever watched, now put it in a blender and throw it in a sack. Those are the DVDs Chris is bitching about. Those are the shitastic, half assed DVDs he will not let go.

Thanks for clearing that up, like someone else said, this is probably why Megan asked for the originals. I don't think Chris noticed, given that he's someone who has fond memories of the Ghostbusters cartoon nobody's heard of and thinks "The Adventures of the American Rabbit" is one of the greatest movies ever made. Chris doesn't have a discerning palate, so to speak.

I still think that someone just getting him the fucking DVDs will shut him up and maybe save Megan. Hell, maybe it's possible that he's going on a Megan tirade because of his financial situation and is upset about the lack of money he has.

 

[CatParty]

or maybe he thinks he needs the dvds in order to help his chances of staying straight....

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

or maybe he thinks he needs the dvds in order to help his chances of staying straight....

That would explain a lot then, brother

 

[Christ-Chan]

I still think that someone just getting him the fucking DVDs will shut him up and maybe save Megan. Hell, maybe it's possible that he's going on a Megan tirade because of his financial situation and is upset about the lack of money he has.

Maybe there never were any DVDs in the first place and this is just Chris well-crafted plan to be sent Sailor Moon stuff for free!

 

[Varis]

I still think that someone just getting him the fucking DVDs will shut him up and maybe save Megan. Hell, maybe it's possible that he's going on a Megan tirade because of his financial situation and is upset about the lack of money he has.

He would then declare victory over the Queen of Trolls, even if the sender was Clyde Cash.

I don't really miss Smug Chris that much.

(getting his way all the time made him like this, so if anything, rip the DVDs and send him the copies)

 

[The Dude]

I still think that someone just getting him the fucking DVDs will shut him up and maybe save Megan. Hell, maybe it's possible that he's going on a Megan tirade because of his financial situation and is upset about the lack of money he has.

Maybe there never were any DVDs in the first place and this is just Chris well-crafted plan to be sent Sailor Moon stuff for free!

Someone needs to drive by his house, drop off the DVD collection and place them on the windshield of the Caddy, and leave a note that says "THERE! NOW LEAVE MEGAN ALONE!"

 

[The Knife]

"HEY THERE, LI'L TRAILHAND. DO YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO REVIVE ZORDON? IT'S VERY POPULAR ON THE LEVELS OF THE TOWER PAST THE BEND."

If Chris had been on Blaine the Mono he'd have blown his circuits while they were still in the Wastelands.

Chris: "You don't have to tell me twice! But during the Stone Age - "

Blaine: "CATACLYSMIC SYSTEM FAILURE"

Spoiler

Little Blaine: "Ow, my axles..."

I had an actual thoughtful and well-reasoned comment about delusions and schizophrenia, but now I just want there to be Chris-Chan/Dark Tower fanfiction.

Spoiler

THE CUMDRINKER
THE DRAWING OF EPISODE THREE
THE DIRTY, CRAPPED WASTE LANDS
WIZARD AND PEDOGLASSES
SONICHUS OF THE CALLA
THE SONG OF CHRISTIAN
...and I can't think of another.

 

[The Dude]

If Chris had been on Blaine the Mono he'd have blown his circuits while they were still in the Wastelands.

Chris: "You don't have to tell me twice! But during the Stone Age - "

Blaine: "CATACLYSMIC SYSTEM FAILURE"

Spoiler

Little Blaine: "Ow, my axles..."

I had an actual thoughtful and well-reasoned comment about delusions and schizophrenia, but now I just want there to be Our Pet Lolcow/Dark Tower fanfiction.

Spoiler

THE CUMDRINKER
THE DRAWING OF EPISODE THREE
THE DIRTY, CRAPPED WASTE LANDS
WIZARD AND PEDOGLASSES
SONICHUS OF THE CALLA
THE SONG OF CHRISTIAN
...and I can't think of another.

The Dork Wallflower.

 

[Kosher Dill]

THE BENT DUCK TOWER
Without the Beams holding it up, the Tower is developing an odd 45-degree angle, turning the multiverse autistic.

 

[The Knife]

THE BENT DUCK TOWER
Without the Beams holding it up, the Tower is developing an odd 45-degree angle, turning the multiverse autistic.

"The Man in the Pickle Suit fled across the desert, and the manchild followed."

 

[polka-dotted]

I had an actual thoughtful and well-reasoned comment about delusions and schizophrenia, but now I just want there to be Our Pet Lolcow/Dark Tower fanfiction.

Spoiler

THE CUMDRINKER
THE DRAWING OF EPISODE THREE
THE DIRTY, CRAPPED WASTE LANDS
WIZARD AND PEDOGLASSES
SONICHUS OF THE CALLA
THE SONG OF CHRISTIAN
...and I can't think of another.

This...this needs to happen. Someone start working on it!

 

[Judge Holden]

THE BENT DUCK TOWER
Without the Beams holding it up, the Tower is developing an odd 45-degree angle, turning the multiverse autistic.

"The Man in the Pickle Suit fled across the desert, and the manchild followed."

Motherfucker beat me to it :x

Now im gonna have to go with

Dauntless the fap-cupto my lips I set,
And blew "Manchilde ChrisChan to the duck tower came."

 

[Zim]

I still think that someone just getting him the fucking DVDs will shut him up and maybe save Megan. Hell, maybe it's possible that he's going on a Megan tirade because of his financial situation and is upset about the lack of money he has.

Maybe for a little bit but you know how he is. Give him a little and he suddenly decides he wants everything.

Also, getting him dvds violates my strict "never spending money on Christard" policy.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Chris could invent the conversation as a way of shaming Megan, and then, because he believes that his made up conversation with a cartoon skunk went the way it should have happened in real life, after the fact decide that the conversation really did happen after all.

This basically sums up how Chris looks at all of the past and his memories, in my estimation.

I still think that someone just getting him the fucking DVDs will shut him up and maybe save Megan. Hell, maybe it's possible that he's going on a Megan tirade because of his financial situation and is upset about the lack of money he has.

I see what you're saying Champ... but you know as well as I how adept Chris is at moving the goalposts. Get him the DVDs, he'll just invent another excuse to keep hating Megan. Because in the end it's not about him hating her, it's about him using hate as an excuse to see just how many rewards he can get out of hating her.

 

[Pikonic]

Chris could invent the conversation as a way of shaming Megan, and then, because he believes that his made up conversation with a cartoon skunk went the way it should have happened in real life, after the fact decide that the conversation really did happen after all.

This basically sums up how Chris looks at all of the past and his memories, in my estimation.

I still think that someone just getting him the fucking DVDs will shut him up and maybe save Megan. Hell, maybe it's possible that he's going on a Megan tirade because of his financial situation and is upset about the lack of money he has.

I see what you're saying Champ... but you know as well as I how adept Chris is at moving the goalposts. Get him the DVDs, he'll just invent another excuse to keep hating Megan. Because in the end it's not about him hating her, it's about him using hate as an excuse to see just how many rewards he can get out of hating her.

I'll buy him his own goddamn island if he shuts up about Megan.

 

[Silvana]

Get him the DVDs, he'll just invent another excuse to keep hating Megan. Because in the end it's not about him hating her, it's about him using hate as an excuse to see just how many rewards he can get out of hating her.

You're right, of course - but to me, it's much more about Chris using Megan as an excuse to hate. I mean, you know his grievance against the universe is without limits, and it certainly goes much, much deeper than Megan - she's just the best he can come up with as far as a figure to blame is concerned. One thing's for sure, though - it must always be someone else to blame, never Chris.

Never Chris.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

So, I see that all of that court-mandated therapy is going swimmingly as ever...

Makes me wonder if the therapist couldn't put up with his shit and just gave up on him.

 

[A-№1]

Chris could invent the conversation as a way of shaming Megan, and then, because he believes that his made up conversation with a cartoon skunk went the way it should have happened in real life, after the fact decide that the conversation really did happen after all.

This basically sums up how Chris looks at all of the past and his memories, in my estimation.

And schizophrenia would explain this behavior (and a bunch of other things about Chris) because this is one of the things schizophrenics do. Even if Chris doesn't have schizophrenia, he sure acts like he does.

Some people here have shown a knee-jerk reaction against that assessment, but I don't think they realize it would be a good thing for Chris' sake if he really does have schizophrenia. Really. It would mean that a lot of his bad behaviors are not really his fault after all (not that I want to give Chris another excuse to be horrible). Moreover, schizophrenia is treatable and manageable.

If Chris isn't suffering from schizophrenia or some other disorder, well then that means he behaves like this intentionally, and that's much, much worse.

I'll buy him his own goddamn island if he shuts up about Megan.

It wouldn't work, because the DVDs (or even an island) aren't really what he wants.

The only thing that will shut him up about Megan is if she were to beg for his forgiveness and be his sex slave, ass patter, housemaid, and mommy surrogate for the rest of her life (and not necessarily in that order). And then he would find something else to whine and rave about.

So, I see that all of that court-mandated therapy is going swimmingly as ever...

Makes me wonder if the therapist couldn't put up with his shit and just gave up on him.

I thought the Chandlers managed to weasel out of the therapy, using Chris' "autism" as the excuse.

Yes. I know. I doesn't make any sense (chandler logic). Probably the therapist saw that excuse and realized he or she was dealing with someone who is more trouble than he's worth and a complete waste of the therapist's own valuable time and didn't bother to see Chris even once.