Facebook status 06 AUG 2013

[NobleGreyHorse]

Has Chris been known to scratch his pets' balls?

This is a minor CWC-ism that comes from the days of Patti. He apparently used to put all five fingers on top of her head and scratch her that way, as if he were scratching a rubber ball instead. Chris being Chris, he was completely oblivious to how "bally-scratch" sounded. I think, anyway. But I believe the term crops up in either his description of the end of her life, or his fondful memories of the years before he had to lift her ten-ton doghouse.

 

[Midnight Kissy Bull]

Kinda random but it really grinds my gears when Chris says "pups". No idea if it's a common abbreviation or something, but I can imagine him belching the word out with his southern accent and it annoys me everytime I see it.

It's not an abbreviation, but in my experience, at least, you might say pup once or twice, but I don't know anyone who uses it regularly.

Oh, Ok. I don't think I had ever seen this being used before, so I was curious if it was an actual thing or yet another CWCism.

And yeah, Chris will probably call 'em "pups" for the rest of their lives.

Just like every pathetic middle-aged woman who refuses to accept the fact that cute animals grow up, grow old, and eventually die.

Chris looks like a middle-aged woman. May as well adopt a few more traits to complete the transformation.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Has Chris been known to scratch his pets' balls?

This is a minor CWC-ism that comes from the days of Patti. He apparently used to put all five fingers on top of her head and scratch her that way, as if he were scratching a rubber ball instead. Chris being Chris, he was completely oblivious to how "bally-scratch" sounded. I think, anyway. But I believe the term crops up in either his description of the end of her life, or his fondful memories of the years before he had to lift her ten-ton doghouse.

Maybe it's because it is being done by Chris but I can't help but imagine this is painful for the dog.

 

[CatParty]

Has Chris been known to scratch his pets' balls?

This is a minor CWC-ism that comes from the days of Patti. He apparently used to put all five fingers on top of her head and scratch her that way, as if he were scratching a rubber ball instead. Chris being Chris, he was completely oblivious to how "bally-scratch" sounded. I think, anyway. But I believe the term crops up in either his description of the end of her life, or his fondful memories of the years before he had to lift her ten-ton doghouse.

Maybe it's because it is being done by Chris but I can't help but imagine this is painful for the dog.

Just like his plans for a collie like lassie would be more painful for the dog.

 

[Francine StripeCheer]

Uromancy. Yet another piece of paganism

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

Maybe it's because it is being done by Chris but I can't help but imagine this is painful for the dog.

In the video where he's holding a cat at least twice -- I don't remember whether it was Kitty Chandler both times, or a second cat was dumb enough to enter his room during the filming of the video -- I was seriously flashing back to Of Mice and Men because cats like to be touched gently, and to set the terms, if you will, on which you touch them -- it's better to just sort of stand there and let the cat decide it wants to rub against you. And there's OPL, pounding on the poor thing's skull with his big ham-hands, completely oblivious to its distress.

And now, for the nine-thousandth time, I find myself filled with pity for that poor hooker.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

If Chris had any strength, he'd be like Lenny from Of Mice and Men.

But Chris is not strong.

 

[BillRiley]

Has Chris been known to scratch his pets' balls?

This is a minor CWC-ism that comes from the days of Patti. He apparently used to put all five fingers on top of her head and scratch her that way, as if he were scratching a rubber ball instead. Chris being Chris, he was completely oblivious to how "bally-scratch" sounded. I think, anyway. But I believe the term crops up in either his description of the end of her life, or his fondful memories of the years before he had to lift her ten-ton doghouse.

Maybe it's because it is being done by Chris but I can't help but imagine this is painful for the dog.

Probably. I can't imagine it's much fun having your head squeezed by a greasy-fingered retard who smells of Axe, ass and flop sweat.

If Chris had any strength, he'd be like Lenny from Of Mice and Men.

But Chris is not strong.

To be perfectly fair, Chris did almost try to do a pull up.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

Maybe it's because it is being done by Chris but I can't help but imagine this is painful for the dog.

In the video where he's holding a cat at least twice -- I don't remember whether it was Kitty Chandler both times, or a second cat was dumb enough to enter his room during the filming of the video -- I was seriously flashing back to Of Mice and Men because cats like to be touched gently, and to set the terms, if you will, on which you touch them -- it's better to just sort of stand there and let the cat decide it wants to rub against you. And there's OPL, pounding on the poor thing's skull with his big ham-hands, completely oblivious to its distress.

And now, for the nine-thousandth time, I find myself filled with pity for that poor hooker.

I think this is the video you're thinking of:
[youtube]Sk56JP9pM40[/youtube]
[cwc]20_December_2009[/cwc]

From youtube:

FuzzyDuck 1 year ago

Chris: "You know how kitties can be sometimes."

I've never seen a cat that pissed off by simply being held. You truly are a bad person, Chris. She can smell it.

I'm surprised that Kitty didn't turn Chris' face into cube steak.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

Listening to the way he talks to that cat makes me want to put my fist through my computer. I hate that cutesy baby talk shit he always does, and that he thinks it's an equally appropriate way to talk to a cat the same way he'd talk to a potential sweetheart.

 

[Pikonic]

If Chris had any strength, he'd be like Lenny from Of Mice and Men.

But Chris is not strong.

He lifts 20 packs of lemonaide and plays Guitar Hero STANDING UP! Would YOU wanna fuck with that kinda power?

 

[Male]

God only knows what Chris has done to those cats to make them so pissed

 

[Picklepower]

That cat vid really makes me mad because I love cats, poor thing. I know Chris is a tard and thought he wasn't doing wrong so whatever.

 

[Bob's Fries]

Goddamn. This is actually the first time I've ever seen an animal this distressed. What the fuck did you do, Chris?

 

[Male]

Even if he knows he's responsible for the cat's behavior it's not like Chris is willing to admit he did anything wrong, he's gotta look like the good guy for his fanbase...
by blaming the cat

 

[Marvin]

Heh, really, cats aren't that hard to keep sated. That cat was probably just mostly annoyed by Chris holding it at awkward angles and by it's tail and legs and weird shit like that.

Hell, half the time my cat isn't too comfortable being held in the first place. Now, I know when I'm making her uncomfortable and when she's not in the mood to be held, because I'm not a tard.

 

[Some JERK]

...My little Kitty here is getting a little fussy.

That's not "fussy", that's "You're about to lose some blood, shithead"

 

[CatParty]

God only knows what Chris has done to those cats to make them so pissed

cats can sense evil

 

[exball]

Good job putting the cat down Chris. That "Kitty" was going to fucking shred your blobby moobs.

 

[bradsternum]

I find Chris' baby voice to be really, really disgusting.