FATAL 2: The Fataling

[AnOminous]

Everyone who's run with stuff gets 50 GP, their choice of one suit of dwarven or elven armor, and their choice of one non-magical weapon. AnOminous gets to keep the gun. Everyone who's running has a choice: they can head through a forest or run down along the coast. The way straight forward is blocked by a huge mountain range that you could also attempt to summit.

Shouldn't we appoint a leader to make these kinds of general decisions instead of just randomly running around like idiots? Also I'm a subterranean troll. Height 91, 91 whats? I don't know. Weight 207. I'm assuming inches and the manual says trolls average 8 feet in height, so that sounds about right.

So I grab elven armor in the idea that it's probably worth more. And for the weapon, a hurlbat. That is an all metal throwing axe, I guess somewhat like a tomahawk.

In the interim I call running along the coast, but wait for others to decide.

Also nominate Viricus for general strategic decisions like where do we go, etc.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Given most of us are kind of the wrong shape or size for armour worn by elves or dwarves, that's going to be interesting. Weaponwise, I guess he gets a Footmans Battle Axe. I can add the weapon stats to the char sheet, but will need to know what sort of armour we're pickin up to put in my sheet- do we choose an armour and add a modifier to it for the fact it's dwarven/elven made? Or are you going to roll on a table to see what we picked up, armourwise?

 

[AnOminous]

Given most of us are kind of the wrong shape or size for armour worn by elves or dwarves, that's going to be interesting. Weaponwise, I guess he gets a Footmans Battle Axe. I can add the weapon stats to the char sheet, but will need to know what sort of armour we're pickin up to put in my sheet- do we choose an armour and add a modifier to it for the fact it's dwarven/elven made? Or are you going to roll on a table to see what we picked up, armourwise?

Good point. I was just thinking it was a chainmail or something, but if it's just an item of armor, I'll pick up something like a pair of gauntlets or a small shield that I could actually use.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Good point. I was just thinking it was a chainmail or something, but if it's just an item of armor, I'll pick up something like a pair of gauntlets or a small shield that I could actually use.

Yeah that's why I was asking @Splendid Meat Sticks , since there's a definite size issue, and there's a giant-ass table of armours, we kind of need more specifics
I mean given the size, I would practically be wearing a suit of elven chainmail as a hat/coif...

 

[Splendid]

No, you get a full suit of armor, but it's sized for elves or dwarves, so unless you're an elf or a dwarf, tough.
Did you think that they kept troll sized armor just laying around just for you guys to loot?

Also, if there's unanimous agreement, I'm fine with someone being appointed the leader.

 

[ActualKiwi]

No, you get a full suit of armor, but it's sized for elves or dwarves, so unless you're an elf or a dwarf, tough.
Did you think that they kept troll sized armor just laying around just for you guys to loot?

Also, if there's unanimous agreement, I'm fine with someone being appointed the leader.

Ahhh, that's sort of what I expected- but what sort of armour? Plate? Chain? just so we can chuck it down properly in our sheets.
Stupid-shit nomin..nmnay...says he should lead this warband..

 

[Splendid]

Ahhh, that's sort of what I expected- but what sort of armour? Plate? Chain? just so we can chuck it down properly in our sheets.
Stupid-shit nomin..nmnay...says he should lead this warband..

Like, any kind of armor at all. I don't care. It's not even magical or cursed. I promise.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Like, any kind of armor at all. I don't care. It's not even magical or cursed. I promise.

Right then, guess Stupid-shit is lugging a full suit of dwarfcraft platemail. Not like it's going to weigh him down particularly.

 

[Burned Man]

Vlricus looks at his loot and finds a pair of pauldrons and a short spear. He decides that he needs a little relaxation after that ordeal and heads for the coast hoping for a nice scenic view.

 

[AnOminous]

Like, any kind of armor at all. I don't care. It's not even magical or cursed. I promise.

"Coifs are essentially chainmail head protection that also covers the neck and shoulders, though the armor bonus is not granted to the upper torso. The face remains open and accessible. Unfortunately, this armor is abrasive to wear, and usually an arming cap is also purchased and worn underneath."

I drag along some elven chainmail. That's from the description. It seems that part of the chainmail might actually be usable. If so, I keep that and use it and chuck the rest.

 

[Caddchef]

Okay for my weapon Lazy-Carcass will choose a 2handed maul to replace my trusty club, it does a whopping 4d12+4 damage and if i can get another i can duel wield them and become a towering windmill of destruction.

As for the armour.... well i don't have much chance of fitting into any of it, could i squeeze my head into a helmet at least? If so i'll say i took a set of full set of steel scale mail with a conical helm /w nasal guard which i will eye suspiciously as i head towards the coast with the others, Lazy-Carcass hasn't lived 81 years in the world of F.A.T.A.L. with an intact anus by trying on random pieces of equipment that may or may not be enchanted.

Also 50g.p. is 1000 s.p. right? Holy shit i'm rich let's go shopping, i want to buy me a boat!

Edit: oh also what do i get from the dead guy i stole? Apart from a meat puppet obviously.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Okay for my weapon Lazy-Carcass will choose a 2handed maul to replace my trusty club, it does a whopping 4d12+4 damage and if i can get another i can duel wield them and become a towering windmill of destruction.

As for the armour.... well i don't have much chance of fitting into any of it, could i squeeze my head into a helmet at least? If so i'll say i took a set of full set of steel scale mail with a conical helm /w nasal guard which i will eye suspiciously as i head towards the coast with the others, Lazy-Carcass hasn't lived 81 years in the world of F.A.T.A.L. with an intact anus by trying on random pieces of equipment that may or may not be enchanted.

Also 50g.p. is 1000 s.p. right? Holy shit i'm rich let's go shopping, i want to buy me a boat!

Edit: oh also what do i get from the dead guy i stole? Apart from a meat puppet obviously.

We definitely could do with being able to spend some of this.. and sell some of the armour we really can't use..but we're at the mercy of the DM >.> Maybe we should head towards the coast?
And we think alike, ogre brethren. I plan to wield both those weapons of mine as well, since I couldn't find anywhere in the sourcebook that mentions a penalty to dual wielding- only a bit that says both of us ogres essentially have so much strength we have to wield these 2H weapons 1Handed or take a penalty.

 

[Splendid]

Right then, guess Stupid-shit is lugging a full suit of dwarfcraft platemail. Not like it's going to weigh him down particularly.

Ok

Vlricus looks at his loot and finds a pair of pauldrons and a short spear. He decides that he needs a little relaxation after that ordeal and heads for the coast hoping for a nice scenic view.

Ok

"Coifs are essentially chainmail head protection that also covers the neck and shoulders, though the armor bonus is not granted to the upper torso. The face remains open and accessible. Unfortunately, this armor is abrasive to wear, and usually an arming cap is also purchased and worn underneath."

I drag along some elven chainmail. That's from the description. It seems that part of the chainmail might actually be usable. If so, I keep that and use it and chuck the rest.

You can't use any armor on your head that is made for someone smaller than you per page 56, even if it makes sense for you to do so. Notably, you can use armor made for any other body part as long as it makes sense in context.

Okay for my weapon Lazy-Carcass will choose a 2handed maul to replace my trusty club, it does a whopping 4d12+4 damage and if i can get another i can duel wield them and become a towering windmill of destruction.

As for the armour.... well i don't have much chance of fitting into any of it, could i squeeze my head into a helmet at least? If so i'll say i took a set of full set of steel scale mail with a conical helm /w nasal guard which i will eye suspiciously as i head towards the coast with the others, Lazy-Carcass hasn't lived 81 years in the world of F.A.T.A.L. with an intact anus by trying on random pieces of equipment that may or may not be enchanted.

Also 50g.p. is 1000 s.p. right? Holy shit i'm rich let's go shopping, i want to buy me a boat!

Edit: oh also what do i get from the dead guy i stole? Apart from a meat puppet obviously.

You didn't get anything from the body. The armor, money, and weapons are abstract rewards in place of specific ones. Also, no it's literally impossible to use armor made for someone smaller, see above. And by the way, none of this stuff is enchanted or otherwise magical.

We definitely could do with being able to spend some of this.. and sell some of the armour we really can't use..but we're at the mercy of the DM >.>
And we think alike, ogre brethren. I plan to wield both those weapons of mine as well, since I couldn't find anywhere in the sourcebook that mentions a penalty to dual wielding- only a bit that says both of us ogres essentially have so much strength we have to wield these 2H weapons 1Handed or take a penalty.

There are rules for penalties for dual wielding, but they are located in the chapter on weapons instead of the one on combat.

Alright, you guys come across a large Bugbear village along the coast. The usual Bugbear subjecting facility (see pg 166) is on the other side of the village from you guys. The village is too small to have any guards or anything like that. You can simply walk up to it. It's daytime and you can purchase pretty much anything that would be available from a human town in FATAL in this village, plus boats, if you so desire. Loans are available.

Remember that racial hatred rules do not apply to your characters. You will not be attacked or enslaved.

 

[Burned Man]

Alright, you guys come across a large Bugbear village along the coast. The usual Bugbear subjecting facility (see pg 166) is on the other side of the village from you guys. The village is too small to have any guards or anything like that. You can simply walk up to it. It's daytime and you can purchase pretty much anything that would be available from a human town in FATAL in this village, plus boats, if you so desire. Loans are available.

Remember that racial hatred rules do not apply to your characters. You will not be attacked or enslaved.

I really don't get the Bugbear's plans about slave children. Do naughty children taste better? Why bother making that distinction if you're going to kill them anyway? Since this is a real game of FATAL I hope you are making sure to roll for all those slaves stuck near the cesspool. We really need to know how many of them are getting violently ill from shit and vomiting to death.

Vlricus takes a moment to stare out into the sea. It resonates with his soul. Seeing the waves crashing onto the beach fills him a sense of tranquility that makes him forget about all his earthy troubles. He promptly grows uncomfortable with his peaceful mind , "Fuck this gay ass shit. I need a drink." He proceeds to wander off in search of a tavern leading Body Bumper away.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Ok

Ok

You can't use any armor on your head that is made for someone smaller than you per page 56, even if it makes sense for you to do so. Notably, you can use armor made for any other body part as long as it makes sense in context.

You didn't get anything from the body. The armor, money, and weapons are abstract rewards in place of specific ones. Also, no it's literally impossible to use armor made for someone smaller, see above. And by the way, none of this stuff is enchanted or otherwise magical.

There are rules for penalties for dual wielding, but they are located in the chapter on weapons instead of the one on combat.

Alright, you guys come across a large Bugbear village along the coast. The usual Bugbear subjecting facility (see pg 166) is on the other side of the village from you guys. The village is too small to have any guards or anything like that. You can simply walk up to it. It's daytime and you can purchase pretty much anything that would be available from a human town in FATAL in this village, plus boats, if you so desire. Loans are available.

Remember that racial hatred rules do not apply to your characters. You will not be attacked or enslaved.

Which page is the dual-wield penalty on? Been trying to find it but I could only find penalties for wielding 2-handed when you're far too strong to do so. Would be good to be able to calc out my penalties before we piss something else off and get into combat again

Stupid-shit wanders around looking for someone who will buy his suit of armour, like a bugbear smith if there is such a thing, and will then wander off to join the dwarf and the troll in the inn/tavern/pub/hole

 

[Caddchef]

You didn't get anything from the body. The armor, money, and weapons are abstract rewards in place of specific ones. Also, no it's literally impossible to use armor made for someone smaller, see above. And by the way, none of this stuff is enchanted or otherwise magical.

Okay then, Lazy-Carcass shall pitch the actual carcass he is carrying as hard as i can into the sea before we get to the village, once we reach the village he'll follow Stupid-shit to the blacksmith to try and buy some propper ogre-sized armour and hock what i got from the dwarfs/ elves then hit up a tavern, and drink mead until sun-up, i hope to use the skills points i sunk into urination before too long.

Oh also what are we doing for experience and character progression?

 

[Splendid]

I really don't get the Bugbear's plans about slave children. Do naughty children taste better? Why bother making that distinction if you're going to kill them anyway? Since this is a real game of FATAL I hope you are making sure to roll for all those slaves stuck near the cesspool. We really need to know how many of them are getting violently ill from shit and vomiting to death.

Vlricus takes a moment to stare out into the sea. It resonates with his soul. Seeing the waves crashing onto the beach fills him a sense of tranquility that makes him forget about all his earthy troubles. He promptly grows uncomfortable with his peaceful mind , "Fuck this gay ass shit. I need a drink." He proceeds to wander off in search of a tavern leading Body Bumper away.

Which page is the dual-wield penalty on? Been trying to find it but I could only find penalties for wielding 2-handed when you're far too strong to do so. Would be good to be able to calc out my penalties before we piss something else off and get into combat again

Stupid-shit wanders around looking for someone who will buy his suit of armour, like a bugbear smith if there is such a thing, and will then wander off to join the dwarf and the troll in the inn/tavern/pub/hole

It's on page 434 and 435. You're looking to find the Delivery Penalty.
Alright, you walk down a crowded street and into a sterotypical fantasty blacksmith's shop, except for the fact that it's run by a bugbear. You may sell your armor here for 250 sp.

Okay then, Lazy-Carcass shall pitch the actual carcass he is carrying as hard as i can into the sea before we get to the village, once we reach the village he'll follow Stupid-shit to the blacksmith to try and buy some propper ogre-sized armour and hock what i got from the dwarfs/ elves then hit up a tavern, and drink mead until sun-up, i hope to use the skills points i sunk into urination before too long.

Oh also what are we doing for experience and character progression?

We're following FATAL'S real rules. In the professions chapter you can find out how each class advances.

You can buy any ogre sized armor that you want from the book at the listed prices, and you can sell your armor for 553 sp.

If everyone's good, we can advance to tomorrow?

 

[AnOminous]

It's on page 434 and 435. You're looking to find the Delivery Penalty.
Alright, you walk down a crowded street and into a sterotypical fantasty blacksmith's shop, except for the fact that it's run by a bugbear. You may sell your armor here for 250 sp.


We're following FATAL'S real rules. In the professions chapter you can find out how each class advances.

You can buy any ogre sized armor that you want from the book at the listed prices, and you can sell your armor for 553 sp.

If everyone's good, we can advance to tomorrow?

I got chainmail (coif). So I'm going to sell that and buy some stuff, I suppose.

Some food for starters. I buy 5 rapes. Yes, really. They're in there. And 5 chunks of human meat. Yes, really.

Meat, chunk: This is a portion of a dead animal that has been cleaned, cooked, and sold. Meat may be obtained from all animals, though perhaps the most common include chickens, cows, and pigs. In a human society, the norm is that only the rich eat meat. However, in an bugbear society, young human meat is likely to be available and a delicacy.[/QUOTE]

Since this is "an bugbear society" there's probably some of that.

I spend as follows:

Headcrusher (a torture device that crushes heads) 50 s.p.
Brigandine Armor 200 s.p.
Spangen helm w/face guard 200 s.p.
Thigh boots 40 s.p.
Leather gloves 10 s.p.
Backpack 10 s.p.
Lantern 50 s.p.
3 flasks oil 20 s.p. X 3 = 60 s.p.
7 dildos 3 s.p. X 7 = 21 s.p.
7 thingies of rape oil (yes really) = 3 s.p. X 7 = 21 s.p.
5 rapes 2 s.p. X 5 = 10 s.p.
5 chunks of human meat 7 s.p. X 5 = 35 s.p.
----
707 s.p.

So I have left whatever 1000 s.p. minus 707 s.p. plus whatever I could sell the elf armor for.

 

[Splendid]

7 thingies of rape oil (yes really)

That's actually the correct old-timey name for canola oil. Of course, we all know that they included it because it contains the word rape, but they are technically correct.

Also,

>TFW you know more about something than @AnOminous

Feels good man.

 

[Splendid]

I got chainmail (coif). So I'm going to sell that and buy some stuff, I suppose.

Some food for starters. I buy 5 rapes. Yes, really. They're in there. And 5 chunks of human meat. Yes, really.

Meat, chunk: This is a portion of a dead animal that has been cleaned, cooked, and sold. Meat may be obtained from all animals, though perhaps the most common include chickens, cows, and pigs. In a human society, the norm is that only the rich eat meat. However, in an bugbear society, young human meat is likely to be available and a delicacy.

Since this is "an bugbear society" there's probably some of that.

I spend as follows:

Headcrusher (a torture device that crushes heads) 50 s.p.
Brigandine Armor 200 s.p.
Spangen helm w/face guard 200 s.p.
Thigh boots 40 s.p.
Leather gloves 10 s.p.
Backpack 10 s.p.
Lantern 50 s.p.
3 flasks oil 20 s.p. X 3 = 60 s.p.
7 dildos 3 s.p. X 7 = 21 s.p.
7 thingies of rape oil (yes really) = 3 s.p. X 7 = 21 s.p.
5 rapes 2 s.p. X 5 = 10 s.p.
5 chunks of human meat 7 s.p. X 5 = 35 s.p.
----
707 s.p.

So I have left whatever 1000 s.p. minus 707 s.p. plus whatever I could sell the elf armor for.[/QUOTE]
You can sell the Elf armor for 0 sp.

You fucked up your Haggle roll so much that you got a -100% modifier to your sales price.