FATAL 2: The Fataling

[AnOminous]

You fucked up your Haggle roll so much that you got a -100% modifier to your sales price.

I keep it then. Or if it's too cumbersome to lug around, I throw it in a river or something within sight of whoever offered me nothing for it and say it's free.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Ok, advancement for berserkers is the amount of damage they do with successful attacks.. three successful attacks from four, so 60, 55 and 53 for a total of 168 AP (I'm assuming we're going with what seems like the standard of 1k AP to level up)
Right, Stupid-shit sells his armour,
so with the 50g from intimidation tactics he personally got, 50g from the looting, an the 250sp I get for my armour..lets see..
@Splendid Meat Sticks are we taking into account the racial armour cost multipliers (page 456) or just reading straight from the table?
Either way(ogre mod is 300% cost, ouch):
Leather armour (70sp or 210sp with the modifier)
Bracers,steel (30sp or 90sp)
Boots,Thigh(10sp or 30sp)
Gloves, Leather (10sp or 30sp)
Helm,Conical, w/ Faceguard (150sp or 450sp)
Arming Cap (10sp or 30sp)
I would buy a barge, but stupid-shit has no skill at sailing so that would be too retarded even for him. He wears his armour (helm over arming cap, leather over his current gambeson) and goes to the bar, buying 5 meat chunks and a tankard of ale (5x7sp=31+2sp=33sp).
Considered getting slaves, but couldn't work out how to get them to be a part of my berserker horde.

 

[Burned Man]

Ok, advancement for berserkers is the amount of damage they do with successful attacks.. three successful attacks from four, so 60, 55 and 53 for a total of 168 AP (I'm assuming we're going with what seems like the standard of 1k AP to level up)

If I want to keep up with you I'm going to have to start getting serious about my paper making. Yeah I forgot to mention I'm actually a paper maker.

Vlricus walks into the tavern and slams some silver on the bar. " A round of the cheapest swill for the for the house, barkeep!"

 

[AnOminous]

After chucking the elf armor into an open sewer full of bugbear shit and piss, if there is one in this vile town, I follow Viricus into the tavern, order two half-gallon bottles of mead for 10 s.p. each, and throw down 5 s.p. for the barmaid.

I begin guzzling mead and offer the other half-gallon to any party member who wants some.

 

[ActualKiwi]

If I want to keep up with you I'm going to have to start getting serious about my paper making. Yeah I forgot to mention I'm actually a paper maker.

Vlricus walks into the tavern and slams some silver on the bar. " A round of the cheapest swill for the for the house, barkeep!"

You poor bastard..you're going to have to chop trees, find the equipment to turn the wood into paper...and even then you're only getting 1/20th of an AP per piece of paper you make.. To put that in perspective you would have to make 20,000 pieces of paper just to level up.

 

[Caddchef]

Okay so, basically i get AP for damaging (a bit confused by the "when employed" part though) and successful intimidation rolls i do however get a 50% penalty for damaging "innocents", i'll track them from here on.

As Lazy-Carcass enters the blacksmiths he sees his troll friend troll shouting "YOU BUYYYYYYYYY" over and over again at the shop keep before dumping something into an open latrine and walking in the direction of the tavern.

With his 1568s.p. Lazy-Carcass buys a boat //Suddenly Lazy-Carcass remembers the last cryptic words of his grandfather, who like most of the denizens of the FATAL universe died from trauma to the anus following a drunken barfight, he said "boats are for fags, boy", suddenly it all makes sense and Lazy-Carcass buys the following:

Brigandine: 200 x 3 = 600
Thigh boots: 40 x 3 = 120
Leather gloves: 10 x 3 = 30
Conical helm /w faceguard: 150 x 3 = 450
Leather Backpack: 10
Belt Pouch: 6
Tankard: 2
x2 Torches: 1 x 2 = 2
Wineskin: 6
Whistle: 4
Wool Blanket: 4
x2 Cheese: 8 x 4 = 16
x2 Bread loaf: 2 x 4 =4

Total: 1254s.p.

Leaving 315 s.p for the booze he will buy at the tavern (also i will fill my wineskin while there), which he will now visit.

 

[Splendid]

Ok, advancement for berserkers is the amount of damage they do with successful attacks.. three successful attacks from four, so 60, 55 and 53 for a total of 168 AP (I'm assuming we're going with what seems like the standard of 1k AP to level up)
Right, Stupid-shit sells his armour,
so with the 50g from intimidation tactics he personally got, 50g from the looting, an the 250sp I get for my armour..lets see..
@Splendid Meat Sticks are we taking into account the racial armour cost multipliers (page 456) or just reading straight from the table?
Either way(ogre mod is 300% cost, ouch):
Leather armour (70sp or 210sp with the modifier)
Bracers,steel (30sp or 90sp)
Boots,Thigh(10sp or 30sp)
Gloves, Leather (10sp or 30sp)
Helm,Conical, w/ Faceguard (150sp or 450sp)
Arming Cap (10sp or 30sp)
I would buy a barge, but stupid-shit has no skill at sailing so that would be too retarded even for him. He wears his armour (helm over arming cap, leather over his current gambeson) and goes to the bar, buying 5 meat chunks and a tankard of ale (5x7sp=31+2sp=33sp).
Considered getting slaves, but couldn't work out how to get them to be a part of my berserker horde.

Yeah, you have to take them into account, it's the cost for the increased materials and labor, not a racism thing.

If I want to keep up with you I'm going to have to start getting serious about my paper making. Yeah I forgot to mention I'm actually a paper maker.

Vlricus walks into the tavern and slams some silver on the bar. " A round of the cheapest swill for the for the house, barkeep!"

After chucking the elf armor into an open sewer full of bugbear shit and piss, if there is one in this vile town, I follow Viricus into the tavern, order two half-gallon bottles of mead for 10 s.p. each, and throw down 5 s.p. for the barmaid.

I begin guzzling mead and offer the other half-gallon to any party member who wants some.

Ok

Okay so, basically i get AP for damaging (a bit confused by the "when employed" part though) and successful intimidation rolls i do however get a 50% penalty for damaging "innocents", i'll track them from here on.

As Lazy-Carcass enters the blacksmiths he sees his troll friend troll shouting "YOU BUYYYYYYYYY" over and over again at the shop keep before dumping something into an open latrine and walking in the direction of the tavern.

With his 1568s.p. Lazy-Carcass buys a boat //Suddenly Lazy-Carcass remembers the last cryptic words of his grandfather, who like most of the denizens of the FATAL universe died from trauma to the anus following a drunken barfight, he said "boats are for fags, boy", suddenly it all makes sense and Lazy-Carcass buys the following:

Brigandine: 200 x 3 = 600
Thigh boots: 40 x 3 = 120
Leather gloves: 10 x 3 = 30
Conical helm /w faceguard: 150 x 3 = 450
Leather Backpack: 10
Belt Pouch: 6
Tankard: 2
x2 Torches: 1 x 2 = 2
Wineskin: 6
Whistle: 4
Wool Blanket: 4
x2 Cheese: 8 x 4 = 16
x2 Bread loaf: 2 x 4 =4

Total: 1254s.p.

Leaving 315 s.p for the booze he will buy at the tavern (also i will fill my wineskin while there), which he will now visit.

Ok

I'll tell you all how drunk you get tonight. I can't load the fatal PDF on my phone. Let me know if you want to drink/smoke more than this.

The bar serves magic mushrooms too for a nominal price.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Yeah, you have to take them into account, it's the cost for the increased materials and labor, not a racism thing.



Ok

Ok

I'll tell you all how drunk you get tonight. I can't load the fatal PDF on my phone. Let me know if you want to drink/smoke more than this.

The bar serves magic mushrooms too for a nominal price.

Yeah figured I'd check whether it was just size-modification or some sort of race-hate modification, cheers for that.
Would a Bug village like this have available carts/horses? That might be a useful use of our money

 

[Caddchef]

sda

Yeah figured I'd check whether it was just size-modification or some sort of race-hate modification, cheers for that.
Would a Bug village like this have available carts/horses? That might be a useful use of our money

I have a lump of cash i could put towards a wagon or something.

Also Lazy-Carcass had an inherrent mistrust of anything with magic in it's name and so will stick to mead.

 

[ActualKiwi]

sda

I have a lump of cash i could put towards a wagon or something.

Also Lazy-Carcass had an inherrent mistrust of anything with magic in it's name and so will stick to mead.

We could easily afford a wagon (or several), it's more the animals to haul it that are the costly part

 

[AnOminous]

The bar serves magic mushrooms too for a nominal price.

I eat the fuck out of those motherfuckers and begin hitting on the bugbear barmaids.

 

[Burned Man]

We could easily afford a wagon (or several), it's more the animals to haul it that are the costly part

An Ox goes for 100 sp. Speaking of which I just realized I forgot the one I started with. I guess it got left behind at the dwarf fortress. Oh well.
Or you can get a cart and a some dogs to pull it for 20 sp per dog.

Vlricus long tired of the paper maker's life is trying something new, adventuring pimp. He motions Body Bumper over and makes a presenting gesture at her, "Now who would care to spend time in the company of this comely lass? Step right up gentlemen. 50 silver gets you an hour."

 

[ActualKiwi]

Apparently I have ~1377s (or rather 68g17s) so that's plenty to buy some transport

 

[AnOminous]

My subterranean troll character with dementia has a sudden genre-savvy realization.

We're all going to die here. How do we cause the most damage?

Just saying. Every FATAL session involves rape and death and I have a bunch of rape (I have literally 5 rapes in my backpack along with 7 dildos).

Let's just go nuts and rape and murder everyone.

 

[Caddchef]

My subterranean troll character with dementia has a sudden genre-savvy realization.

We're all going to die here. How do we cause the most damage?

Just saying. Every FATAL session involves rape and death and I have a bunch of rape (I have literally 5 rapes in my backpack along with 7 dildos).

Let's just go nuts and rape and murder everyone.

The troll has obviously had too many mushrooms and tankards of mead, Lazy-Carcass will piss on him to calm him down, because for some reason that makes sense.

 

[AnOminous]

The troll has obviously had too many mushrooms and tankards of mead, Lazy-Carcass will piss on him to calm him down, because for some reason that makes sense.

Oh yeah? Well I piss back. Also I ignite one of my flasks of oil I bought and get ready to chuck it behind the bar.

 

[Caddchef]

Oh yeah? Well I piss back. Also I ignite one of my flasks of oil I bought and get ready to chuck it behind the bar.

Lazy carcass tries to pissout the ignited flask using his mighty stream of quenching and calls for his comrades to do the same.

P.s. I knew the fate of our quest would one day be down to my ability to urinate (+15) that's why i've drunk A LOT of mead.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Lazy carcass tries to pissout the ignited flask using his mighty stream of quenching and calls for his comrades to do the same.

P.s. I knew the fate of our quest would one day be down to my ability to urinate (+15) that's why i've drunk A LOT of mead.

You actually have to make rolls to piss...

 

[Splendid]

Ok, advancement for berserkers is the amount of damage they do with successful attacks.. three successful attacks from four, so 60, 55 and 53 for a total of 168 AP (I'm assuming we're going with what seems like the standard of 1k AP to level up)
Right, Stupid-shit sells his armour,
so with the 50g from intimidation tactics he personally got, 50g from the looting, an the 250sp I get for my armour..lets see..
@Splendid Meat Sticks are we taking into account the racial armour cost multipliers (page 456) or just reading straight from the table?
Either way(ogre mod is 300% cost, ouch):
Leather armour (70sp or 210sp with the modifier)
Bracers,steel (30sp or 90sp)
Boots,Thigh(10sp or 30sp)
Gloves, Leather (10sp or 30sp)
Helm,Conical, w/ Faceguard (150sp or 450sp)
Arming Cap (10sp or 30sp)
I would buy a barge, but stupid-shit has no skill at sailing so that would be too retarded even for him. He wears his armour (helm over arming cap, leather over his current gambeson) and goes to the bar, buying 5 meat chunks and a tankard of ale (5x7sp=31+2sp=33sp).
Considered getting slaves, but couldn't work out how to get them to be a part of my berserker horde.

If I want to keep up with you I'm going to have to start getting serious about my paper making. Yeah I forgot to mention I'm actually a paper maker.

Vlricus walks into the tavern and slams some silver on the bar. " A round of the cheapest swill for the for the house, barkeep!"

None of you are light enough to get drunk off of just one round of beer!

After chucking the elf armor into an open sewer full of bugbear shit and piss, if there is one in this vile town, I follow Viricus into the tavern, order two half-gallon bottles of mead for 10 s.p. each, and throw down 5 s.p. for the barmaid.

I begin guzzling mead and offer the other half-gallon to any party member who wants some.

You're vomiting drunk. See page 71 for effects.

You poor bastard..you're going to have to chop trees, find the equipment to turn the wood into paper...and even then you're only getting 1/20th of an AP per piece of paper you make.. To put that in perspective you would have to make 20,000 pieces of paper just to level up.

I have a lump of cash i could put towards a wagon or something.

Also Lazy-Carcass had an inherrent mistrust of anything with magic in it's name and so will stick to mead.

Alright, one drink of mead doesn't get you drunk. However, you do get a loan for the rest of anything you could need to get an oregon trail style wagon. You won't live long enough to pay down the loan, don't worry about it.

I eat the fuck out of those motherfuckers and begin hitting on the bugbear barmaids.

Enjoy Acute Paranoia, Tremors, and Drowsiness! Also, there are no rules to determine when a trip ends, so those are permanent.

An Ox goes for 100 sp. Speaking of which I just realized I forgot the one I started with. I guess it got left behind at the dwarf fortress. Oh well.
Or you can get a cart and a some dogs to pull it for 20 sp per dog.

Vlricus long tired of the paper maker's life is trying something new, adventuring pimp. He motions Body Bumper over and makes a presenting gesture at her, "Now who would care to spend time in the company of this comely lass? Step right up gentlemen. 50 silver gets you an hour."

You have a taker! A large male bugbear steps forward!

Apparently I have ~1377s (or rather 68g17s) so that's plenty to buy some transport

Sure is. A game of fatal pirates would be funny too.

Oh yeah? Well I piss back. Also I ignite one of my flasks of oil I bought and get ready to chuck it behind the bar.

You both get the flood result on the table. There's no example for what that means, so I'm going to invoke my interpret the rules in the funniest way rule and assume it's a literal flood. You're now both standing ankle deep in piss, but this is actually a pretty normal occurence in FATAL, so nobody really minds.

Lazy carcass tries to pissout the ignited flask using his mighty stream of quenching and calls for his comrades to do the same.

P.s. I knew the fate of our quest would one day be down to my ability to urinate (+15) that's why i've drunk A LOT of mead.

 

[ActualKiwi]

None of you are light enough to get drunk off of just one round of beer!

You're vomiting drunk. See page 71 for effects.



Alright, one drink of mead doesn't get you drunk. However, you do get a loan for the rest of anything you could need to get an oregon trail style wagon. You won't live long enough to pay down the loan, don't worry about it.

Enjoy Acute Paranoia, Tremors, and Drowsiness! Also, there are no rules to determine when a trip ends, so those are permanent.

You have a taker! A large male bugbear steps forward!

Sure is. A game of fatal pirates would be funny too.

You both get the flood result on the table. There's no example for what that means, so I'm going to invoke my interpret the rules in the funniest way rule and assume it's a literal flood. You're now both standing ankle deep in piss, but this is actually a pretty normal occurence in FATAL, so nobody really minds.

Stupid-shit decides he's not that stupid, and attempts to vacate the bar before things go to hell (which seems like it will be a fairly rapid occurrence)