FB 1/8 - Chris hates Sega for forcing him to attack somebody

[hans asperger]

I would love to read Chris' version of events for this. I really want to know how he would describe the events that led to him being "forced to be attacked." I suspect it would top even his version of 28th October 2011 for inventiveness.

I suspect the state of Chris's mental health has caused him to lose any grasp he had of semantics much less the ability to articulate the events in length.

 

[Taily Puff]

Just plain Not Being Nice to People is a Crime. I hope your house burns down, with You and Your Boyfriend inside of it! Stay safe.

 

[Optimus Prime]

I would love to read Chris' version of events for this. I really want to know how he would describe the events that led to him being "forced to be attacked." I suspect it would top even his version of 28th October 2011 for inventiveness.

Uh, that was this, wasn't it?

 

[Juggalo Jesus]

I want a representative from Sega of America to show up at the trial and say that Sega is in no way affiliated with Chris, just to see what Chris would do.

He ends up trying to take them to court.
Coming this summer, the court case of the century:
Chris-Chan v. Sega

Somebody resurrect Johnnie Cochran.

 

[hans asperger]

when Chris Chan the movie finally hits the silver screen this latest saga is going to be the movie's popcorn munching coup de grace.

 

[Donald Duck]

I gotta wonder if his PD has already written him off as a lost cause and decided to only put in the barest minimum of effort he/she can get away with while they work on other cases that give them less headaches.

My point is "Power", "Authoritative" or Whatever, is Fictitious, and to abuse an non-existent to hurt other people, especially those who have already been hurt, it is a crime. Banning People is a Crime. Online Trolling/Cyber-Bullying is a Crime. Abusing non-existent "Authority" and "Powers", are a crime. Just plain Not Being Nice to People is a Crime.

You know... I kind of wish that when the judge sentences him to jail, the judge will simply tell Chris that he's been "banned from freedom"

February cannot come soon enough. Just yell at the judge and get put away already.

Better yet, he tries to mace the judge.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Better yet, he tries to mace the judge.

I love when people joke about him macing someone now, because every single time I have this vision of Chris politely saying "pardon me a minute..." and awkwardly rummaging through his purse while his soon-to-be victim stands there confused and not causing a problem, before Chris nonchalantly pulls the spray out and uses it.

 

[slep]

You know... I kind of wish that when the judge sentences him to jail, the judge will simply tell Chris that he's been "banned from freedom"

And when he's taken away in handcuffs to jail to begin his sentence, the guard points him to walk with him out the door "to the left".

 

[RagtimeRoastBeefy]

I sorta have this image in my head of Chris pacing back and forth fuming over the blarms, briefly trying to get his mind off of it and getting a glance of some piece of sonic memorabilia to remind him he's angry, then repewt

 

[Jaimas]

His only remaining comfort will be the American Rabbit.

 

[Blueberry]

I thought you said in your testimony Chris that you entered Gamestop to purchase a "Blastermind Skylander" toy. This contradicts your claim that the Blue Arms are to blame for the December 26th incident.

 

[Leafeon]

I place my head in my hand. My thumb and forefinger pinch the bridge of my nose. I glance out the train window, watching the sullen winter scenery roll by.

I think, not for the first, tenth, hundredth time, 'Jesus Christ, Chris.'

 

[Professor Iris]

Chris is so fixated on Sonic's arm color I'm surprised he hasn't scrawled "TAN ARMS GOOD, BLUE ARMS BAD" all over his walls as yet!

EDIT: By the way, I wonder how he'll react if somebody sends him fanart of Sonichu with YELLOW ARMS. Dude might blow a vein.

 

[Katolate]

Years ago, trolls used to send Chris pics of pickles and penises to troll him and push his trigger buttons.

Now all what's needed to make him rage is some official Sega art.

If he goes to jail I can already see what is everyone going to send him to decorate his cell.

 

[Jaimas]

Ruining other peoples' property is a bigger crime.

It takes a strong man to deny what's right in front of him...
....Or Chris, apparently.

 

[Fenneko]

Do those hashtags mean anything on Facebook?

 

[Egomatic]

Do those hashtags mean anything on Facebook?

If I remember correctly Facebook added some sort of hashtag function a while back.

Plus Chris is probably just adding them in hopes that people searching for that tag will see.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Any brave volunteers here in Virginia area willing to help Chris maximise his conjugal visit allowance?

We all know Chris's conjugal visits will be occupied by Barb.

And that's not a Barb-incest joke. Barb will just take up all of his visitation time to yell at him about things.

 

[DavidFerrie]

Any brave volunteers here in Virginia area willing to help Chris maximise his conjugal visit allowance?

Hell, I'm wondering what kind of Weenery will ensue once he starts doing time, and his inmate # and jail-mailing address become public knowledge.

 

[A Ghost]

That Christians adult adventures game that someone here is developing-

the final boss ought to be blue arms sonic or a penis pickle monster with blue arms for legs.

which would have to look a bit like this (rough draft thought)