Facebook FB 11/12/2013 - Chris apologizes for everything

[bradsternum]

I'm a saaaad, distressed, upset autistic
Ya'll are bein' so sadistic
All I ask is please - be realistic
I don't wanna be no suicide statistic

 

[Venusaur]

So what brought this on? The whole "Either be my Friend FOR REAL In Person-" makes me think he somehow found out what the highschool clique has been saying behind his back but maybe he's just getting stressed due some of the troll posts on his Lego creations ("I LOVE YOUR HAIR").
It's just an odd post to follow up after "Vote for my Lego school!".

 

[Thetan]

And that's the end of the five stages of Gal-pal retroactive re-context-ing of lunch periods in high school grief, there's his acceptance.

Now he can move forward to the ultimate-life-upgrade upgrade.

Who's ready for the next phase of the continuing adventures of our autistic hero?

I know I am!

His next "life upgrade" is out in a little less than 3 days. C'mon, we all know that he's going to have one right at the launch. He's convinced that he deserves a reward, after all the stress and heartache he's been through lately. He's earned that PS4.

 

[bradsternum]

At this point, a plus-sized pine box would be a life upgrade.

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

Sad, distressed, and upset? Why not just say upset and that's enough?

 

[Thetan]

Could a certain video be making the rounds again? We were talking about it in the Veterans Day thread.

 

[Thetan]

Shit, I'm really disappointed. I thought that this guy had wised up, and left the ranks of the ass-patters a while ago.

 

[registereduser]

Wow, I never connected those particular dots before your post. That's a very interesting observation.

Don't forget the original video either. I'm sure that's still around somewhere. Maybe someone's putting together an extra special tribute to Chris at the reunion (or their planing on doing a CWC roast). Just imagine Chris' reaction if that were to happen. It would be like "Carrie", except at the reunion instead of the senior prom, and with .

Now imagine it ending with Chris trying to use his Curse-ye-ha-me-ha powers on in front of everyone.

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

52 likes?!?!?! Geez he can't have that many asspatters can he? I hope its some of those weens who are liking it just because it sounds whiny. I'll let you be the judge.

 

[Mr. 0]

I refuse to believe him. At least until he does something extravagant to show how sorry he is. Maybe a skywriter could help...

 

[Coldgrip]

52 likes?!?!?! Geez he can't have that many asspatters can he? I hope its some of those weens who are liking it just because it sounds whiny. I'll let you be the judge.

A good chunk of those I'm betting are just weens thinking that if they asspat him enough he'll make more content.

 

[homerbeoulve]

Shit, I'm really disappointed. I thought that this guy had wised up, and left the ranks of the ass-patters a while ago.

Looks like someone is using a 3rd party Facebook program to boost the likes of his post.

 

[Fapcup]

It might be pure lack of regard, but it might also be him trying to emulate what he sees in children's movies and TV shows. When the main character makes a plot-changing mistake or their fatal flaw comes to a climax, his or her circle of friends leaves them. That is, until the main character, driven by desperation and realizing the error of their ways, cries out to the heavens about how wrong they were and how much they regret what they did. Sometimes, the phrasing in the script can be as vague as "I WAS WRONG I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING!" Miraculously, their circle of friends overhears or learns of this somehow, and because apologies heal all wounds, all is well.

Pretty sure you just described every other episode of Saved By The Bell. Zack acts like an asshole, he loses his friends, he apologizes, all is good. I can think of a couple right off the top of my head:

1. The one episode where he sabotages the baking competition against the girl team
2. The one episode where he sabotages the glee club school contest
3. The one episode where he sabotaged the golf cart that Slater was driving and kelly got knocked in the head with a locker

Actually, Zack is a huge asshole.

Well what do you know! All that time spent in front of the TV memorizing "Saves By the Bell" episodes finally paid off!

 

[Pikonic]

Truly fucking classic CWC apology;
I'm sorry, please [insert thing Chris wants from the wronged party here]

 

[Mourning Dove]

Shit, I'm really disappointed. I thought that this guy had wised up, and left the ranks of the ass-patters a while ago.

"Keep up the positivity"? What positivity? Anyone who knows Chris at all knows his entire life has been a trainwreck!

Matt Stufano? More like Matt STFU Now!

 

[A-№1]

I am very sorry for EVERYTHING!

He's very sorry that consequences are biting him in the ass. Until he understands why everything he has done is wrong, he can't really apologize for any of it.

I suspect the 2015 Manchester High School Reunion was recently cancelled.

You can't cancel what wasn't ever going to happen in the first place.

I think what is happening here is awareness of the whole horrible truth about Chris is finally reaching a tipping point with his Manchester High classmates, and the inevitable facebook friend exodus has arrived.

I suspect that at first most of Chris' classmates couldn't remember who he was and just friended him by default. Then some probably got to know a little more about him, but fell for the "poor innocent man cruelly trolled by internet bullies" story. After all, you can't believe everything you see on the internets, and a lot of the truth about Chris is pretty unbelievable at first glance. Then Chris, himself, had to ruin that benefit of the doubt when he went and posted a truly bizarre, creepy video of his lego high school creation from a McDonalds handicapped table, specifically sending it to the attention of each and every one of his high school classmates, thereby proving beyond any doubt just how odd he truly is. (Chris is always his own worst troll.) And so many of his classmates for the first time took a real look at the online documentation of Christory, only taking it seriously this time. They've now discovered the pics, Sonichu, the videos, and everything else in all its fucked up glory, and probably passed that info around to other classmates. Which may well explain why the forums and cwcki have had a lot more guests and new accounts than usual lately (or at least that's the way it seems to me).

So now the cat is out of the bag, the beans are spilled, so has the milk, and Chris' classmates are doing the only sensible thing: bailing. This post is just Chris making a desperate, misguided, halfassed, and a bit assholeish (and so very Chris-like) attempt at damage control while failing to get any real grasp on the situation.

 

[homerbeoulve]

Shit, I'm really disappointed. I thought that this guy had wised up, and left the ranks of the ass-patters a while ago.

"Keep up the positivity"? What positivity? Anyone who knows Chris at all knows his entire life has been a trainwreck!

Matt Stufano? More like Matt STFU Now!

Positivity? Wait, is Matt Stufano = DSP?

 

[Metal_Heavy19]

So very much A-loging going on in this thread. Jesus he's retarded, he does retarded things. Sit back and enjoy the lols and just look at as entertainment.

 

[Mourning Dove]

Also,

My advice to you is to wipe out your "friends" list of those who don't care or continue to cause you distress.

I think Chris's friends list is already doing that by itself...

 

[CWCissey]

Is anyone else hoping for a 'BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW! I CAN'T GET A PS Q-CONSOLE AS SNYDER MESSED UP MY CREDIT STATUS!' in 3 days?