Lovequest FB 9/7 - Sad over not having a sweetheart

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Even if he had the looks of a male model/movie star, no woman is going to be serious with a man with no job, living in a hoard, and plays with toys and colors all day.
And yet Chris expects that one day as he's sitting in McDonald's stuffing himself or playing with his phone, a woman with beautiful supermodel-tier looks will make a dramatic entrance into the fast food joint.

All eyes are on her as she gracefully walks over to Chris -- despite his body language saying leave me alone -- and introduces herself and asks Chris if he wants to do something with her.

Cue the romantic music and roll credits.
 
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Chris actually thought his spastic activities of harassing every single female remotely related to ponies with increasingly demented tweets was going to get him laid.

My complete summation of this thread.

To be perfectly fair to Chris, he's not the only guy who's done this.
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There has to be SOMEBODY, at least ONE person out there with a "gross, fat, disabled person" fetish, or something along the lines of that.
I've always thought that if there was ever a real, genuine, actual woman who'd want to date Chris with no ulterior motives (major :optimistic::optimistic::optimistic: on my part, but I'm being hypothetical), it would have to be someone who saw the litany of information that's been written about him online and then developed some kind of bile fascination with this strange individual who so many people on the Internet are obsessed about. Not every man has a cult worshiping him, after all. It would have to be a girl with major emotional baggage and/or mental issues, like that schizo who dated Shmorky or the "true crime" cunts that lust after the Columbine kids.

After spending a lot of time mulling over this scenario, I'm convinced that no such woman could ever possibly exist. Chris is the total embodiment of everything antithetical to what the female psyche considers attractive. He doesn't have any qualities that might make a woman who's interested in fucked-up weirdos turn her head. He's not creative like Shmorky and he's not a "bad boy" like murderers. He's a mincing slow-in-the-mind living off of disability in the middle of nowhere who has nothing to offer a woman.

For the record, "Jessica Quinn" is definitely not this hypothetical woman. She's clearly a troll.
 
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(Rate me dumb but) for a second there I thought that he had already broken up with Jessica
 
I totally agree. If he'd only get over his hatred of :pickle::pickle::pickle: he could a heartsweet among his troon kind. Then they could steal #Jordessica's crown as the top transbian power couple! :heart-full::heart-full::heart-full:

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Its ironic that you make this post about how Jordman got with a person named Jessica, and then so does Chris.
 
I've always thought that if there was ever a real, genuine, actual woman who'd want to date Chris with no ulterior motives (major :optimistic::optimistic::optimistic: on my part, but I'm being hypothetical), it would have to be someone who saw the litany of information that's been written about him online and then developed some kind of bile fascination with this strange individual who so many people on the Internet are obsessed about. Not every man has a cult worshiping him, after all. It would have to be a girl with major emotional baggage and/or mental issues, like that schizo who dated Shmorky or the "true crime" cunts that lust after the Columbine kids.

After spending a lot of time mulling over this scenario, I'm convinced that no such woman could ever possibly exist. Chris is the total embodiment of everything antithetical to what the female psyche considers attractive. He doesn't have any qualities that might make a woman who's interested in fucked-up weirdos turn her head. He's not creative like Shmorky and he's not a "bad boy" like murderers. He's a mincing slow-in-the-mind living off of disability in the middle of nowhere who has nothing to offer a woman.

For the record, "Jessica Quinn" is definitely not this hypothetical woman. She's clearly a troll.
I'd add that, apart from the million of reasons he is undateable, you'd have to be some kind of mental pedophile to be atracted to Chris. He has the mind of a (specially obnoxious and stupid) child.
 
I've always thought that if there was ever a real, genuine, actual woman who'd want to date Chris with no ulterior motives (major :optimistic::optimistic::optimistic: on my part, but I'm being hypothetical), it would have to be someone who saw the litany of information that's been written about him online and then developed some kind of bile fascination with this strange individual who so many people on the Internet are obsessed about. Not every man has a cult worshiping him, after all. It would have to be a girl with major emotional baggage and/or mental issues, like that schizo who dated Shmorky or the "true crime" cunts that lust after the Columbine kids.

After spending a lot of time mulling over this scenario, I'm convinced that no such woman could ever possibly exist. Chris is the total embodiment of everything antithetical to what the female psyche considers attractive. He doesn't have any qualities that might make a woman who's interested in fucked-up weirdos turn her head. He's not creative like Shmorky and he's not a "bad boy" like murderers. He's a mincing slow-in-the-mind living off of disability in the middle of nowhere who has nothing to offer a woman.

For the record, "Jessica Quinn" is definitely not this hypothetical woman. She's clearly a troll.
Yeah, the problem with the idea that Jessica sees something we don't, or wants to fix Chris up, is that he really has no hidden depths.

When a woman dates a man with the intention of "fixing" him, it's because there's some quality within him to be drawn out. Like, maybe he's smart but unmotivated, or good-looking but a slob, or creative but lazy. If you were to somehow get through Chris' natural disinclination towards anything that requires any form of effort or discomfort, the absolute best you'd get would be a slightly better-dressed manchild producing a slightly better webcomic.
 
You know... I just realized what Chris's constant use of the term "sweetheart" reminds me of.

Do you know The Greedy from Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure? A huge blob monster made of living taffy and candy who constantly eats himself? But is lonely and wishes he could find a "sweetheart"?
"I am never satisfied... or happy... I need a... sweetheart... a sweetheart..."

And he takes it literally, too... oh god, the similarities with Chris!!!
 
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