Fear and Loathing in Casa de Chandler

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This has been mentioned briefly here and there, so apologies if there has already been about this, I just simply cannot recall one recently.

Something that has been in the back of my mind for a long time is how does one exactly explain the relationship between Chris and Barb, and how much of it is actually caring for one another, and how much of it is just general apathy and complacency with each other.

For Chris, we know he is pretty much dependent on Barb. But all the same, since at least the Kacey calls, I have been able to pinpoint times he has been frustrated by his mother. It is also very apparent he is displeased with the hoard in the second house tour. Still, he allows her to dictate his actions. Is this a learned process, or is he complying just out of being a "good son," or is it general fear of her?

As with Barb, we know she is a manipulator and a generally unlikable person. It's been obvious she's withdrawn from a lot, but how much of that is just depression, and how much of that is actually because of Chris? Ruckersville is after all a small town, and surely word has passed amongst the folks years ago about that Chandler boy, dressing up like some skank. Is Barb's withdrawl and apathy to towards Chris due to Chris' antics? Further, after the house fire, how does she look upon Chris now since it was him who destroyed the hoard?

So, tl;dr version - Chris and Barb: happy together, or one shouting match before we see another house fire?

 

[TrueandLoyalfan]

I think it's the same way teenagers deal with their parents because that's where he is mentally. But honestly I don't think he cares anymore about her only because I don't think he has the mental capacity to really understand.

 

[MrTroll]

Just imagine Hitchcock's Psycho, but with a fat, stupid, autistic Norman Bates and a mother that's still alive.

 

[Coldgrip]

Their relationship is both symbiotic and parasitic. Both need the other but both are perfectly willing to use the other to get what they want.

 

[Dr. Meme]

Just imagine Hitchcock's Psycho, but with a fat, stupid, autistic Norman Bates and a mother that's still alive.

Oh, god
OH GOD

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

Their relationship is both symbiotic and parasitic. Both need the other but both are perfectly willing to use the other to get what they want.

This statement is perfect; it nails the topic.

 

[cahoots]

What's Chris gonna do when Barb dies? Discuss.

This statement is perfect; it nails the topic.

Moar like he nails the topic every night, amirite

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

Moar like he nails the topic every night, amirite

The imagination recoils at that thought.

Icky

 

[maninthepicklesuit]

Well, one of them is a fat autistic tranny and the other is a fat abrasive old woman. I can confidently say that they are the only people in this world that would put up with each other.

Aside from the fact that Christian and Barb have no choice, there's also the pragmatic side of it. Christian, in exchange for running errands for Barb and spooning with her, presumably gets someone to tend to adult matters both large and unexpected (Bob's funeral) as well as small and recurring (paying the bills). As Barb gets more decrepit and slowly becomes one with her sofa, Christian may end up having to do more in terms of buttock-patching, while Barb's value to Christian remains flat at best. Whether Christian will become aware of this change in dynamics and how his attitude will change will be the interesting part. On one hand, Christian is greedy and wants to maximize the ratio of take-to-give; on the other, Christian is averse to change and probably wants to cling to the childhood mentality of having a mother. Christian's greed pitted against his aversion to change might just be the modern formulation of the classic question of irresistable force vs. immovable object.

In the end, the big question is whether they truly can be said to "love" one another. And at the risk of sounding like a sentimental fool, I'd have to say that they do love each other to the extent that their warped personalities allow. Barb has deep-seated abandonment issues, and Christian, by virtue of his autism and total inability to be an independent adult, will probably be the only person to never leave her. Christian, by virtue of lacking a theory of mind and being gob-smackingly self-centered, can only appreciate people in terms of what they can do for him, and Barb might just be his most reliable attack dog and protector. I honestly don't know whether that's perversely heart-warming, or just outright tragic.

Of course, I don't imagine it's all rainbows and butterflies down at the rental apartment because even the most well-adjusted families will run into the occasional conflict. Christian and Barb would be no exception to this rule, except I imagine their conflicts to be trashier and more retarded, like Christian keeps misplacing Barb's hemmorhoid donut cushion and she simply can't watch Maury Povitch without it, or Barb keeps farting on Christian's Hungry Man dinners.

 

[Mogambo]

I agree with TrueandLoyalfan that Chris is mentally around the age of a teeanger. Sort of. I mean, he's not entirely because he has no shame going to McDonald's and playing with Legos all day, but he is sort of going through what in any other human being might be called a "teenage rebellion" stage. I think he has been since he began his LoveQuest, honestly, because despite... well everything Chris does, he most likely feels embarrassed by having Barb butt into his personal life, and rightly so.

Of course, there's also a degree of resignation here too. Chris doesn't like change. Indeed, I suspect his mother is still the one picking out those hideous clown shirts from Good Will, but Chris continues to wear them... well, when he isn't being a "Tom Girl." I do think even Chris was fed up with the hoard, but he's dependent upon Barb, and doesn't have the spine to stand up to her anyway. More likely, he'll just run away to McDonalds' or Target or the mall to avoid dealing with her and the stress that it brings.

As you said, she IS a genuinely unlikable person herself, and she's probably at least as mentally unsound as OPL. I think most hoarders are unhappy people. And while she probably doesn't like Chris dressing up in drag (I can't say I blame her there; not only is he really bad at it, but that boy doesn't need another reason to get bullied and ostracized) I suspect she has some sort of weird codependent thing with him, meaning she doesn't want him to find his boyfriend free girl (from the ground up), because she fears losing him. Then who would bring her q-sands?

So yeah, its a vicious cycle, and I doubt either of them are really happy. But then, their situation does suck, so I can't exactly blame them either.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

It's like a clownfish and an anemone, if the clownfish burnt down their shared house.

 

[Artard]

Well, one of them is a fat autistic tranny and the other is a fat abrasive old woman. I can confidently say that they are the only people in this world that would put up with each other.

I feel like there's an opportunity for a reboot of Neil Simon's The Odd Couple here.

 

[Sonitistic]

A boy's best friend is his mother.

Chris is fat but Barb is way fatter. He could easily make a skin suit out of Barb that he could fit in. It will be like Ms. Doubtfire if the Doubtfire suit was all oversized and just melting off his frame. He'll have to keep adjusting the eye holes to see out of it and probably pull the skin tight by her head hair to speak out of the mouth hole but I think he can make it work. He has the make up thing down so the suit will at least be presentable.

What was the question again?

 

[CatParty]

no, chris will never have another shouting match with barb. and yes everyone makes the same psycho reference. we really just need a stickied general barb thread for this stuff

 

[deeman]

No Braindead (Dead/Alive) references yet though?

 

[Marvin]

For Chris, we know he is pretty much dependent on Barb. But all the same, since at least the Kacey calls, I have been able to pinpoint times he has been frustrated by his mother. It is also very apparent he is displeased with the hoard in the second house tour. Still, he allows her to dictate his actions. Is this a learned process, or is he complying just out of being a "good son," or is it general fear of her?

Mostly fear.

Of course, there's also a degree of resignation here too. Chris doesn't like change. Indeed, I suspect his mother is still the one picking out those hideous clown shirts from Good Will, but Chris continues to wear them... well, when he isn't being a "Tom Girl."

I can see why you would think this, but no. In fact, I'm not sure how much Barb gets out of the house. But yeah, Chris is a tomgirl everyday. He's buying his own clothes from goodwill or where ever, and he just has stopped paying attention to which gender the clothes were aimed for. So he'll wear boy clothes, girl clothes, whichever. (And he mixes and matches) I've mentioned this before, but one of my friends in Charlottesville encountered Chris wearing jeans, tucked into lady's boots.

 

[Lil]

The imagination recoils at that thought.

Icky

your username says otherwise

 

[Henry Bemis]

It seems less Psycho and more mutual icy resentment, as one blames the other for their present predicament.

On a semi-related note, I've had the feeling that Chris honestly expected Barb to kick those cop's asses at their arrest, but is that notion actually supported anywhere?

 

[milkshark]

I can see why you would think this, but no. In fact, I'm not sure how much Barb gets out of the house. But yeah, Chris is a tomgirl everyday. He's buying his own clothes from goodwill or where ever, and he just has stopped paying attention to which gender the clothes were aimed for. So he'll wear boy clothes, girl clothes, whichever. (And he mixes and matches) I've mentioned this before, but one of my friends in Charlottesville encountered Chris wearing jeans, tucked into lady's boots.

That's more appropriate anyway. Tomboys will wear masculine clothing that's still sold for women, or a few male clothing items. When Chris started out he was less tomgirl and more transvestite. Tomboys don't stand at the urinals in the restroom, but a female transvestite living as a man in public would. Somebody probably explained it to him in the only way he understands (you look gay and/or retarded) and he adjusted his personal styling.

I love that the tomgirl identity makes Chris completely repellent to women and destroys the Love Quest entirely. He's just completely off-putting, and the poor attempts at incorporating female style come off scary, unstable and sort of perverted. He goes back and forth between looking like a trailer park welfare mom and Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.

 

[CalmMyTits]

Personally, I don't think that Barb and Chris like or respect one another. Do they love one another? Well, as much as they are capable of, sure. Chris said that he loved/respected Bob but he didn't like Bob, and I can see why.

Chris has pretty much nothing in common with his parents, at least anything that was positive and would have enabled them to spend time together in a productive way. My parents and I have pretty diverse interests, but enough overlap that I can spend quality time with both of them now and then that I don't live with them anymore.Since Chris has never left home, he has had no difficulty in getting time with his parents which is more than I could say since once I moved out (for college) it's harder to get time together since we all have jobs and so on.

Yet the time I spend with my parents is meaningful and we bond over activities and we have good conversations. From what I have seen of Chris - his comments about his parents, the few times we've heard from Borb - doesn't appear that they have ever bonded the way that I do with my parents. Bob barely knew what the fuck Sonichu was let alone what it was about, despite all the time his son invested into it. He didn't take the time to understand what Chris was up to on the internet, let alone why he was being trolled. His discipline of Chris was so poor that his son saw fit to lie to him about credit cards and get them behind his back, he stole from his mother's purse, and so on. And I doubt I even need to get started on Barb.

I do think they love one another because basically their genetic bond tells them to. But as for actual like and/or respect? Hell no.