Fictional Characters who would deserve their own threads? - Just like the other thread.

[ASeabear8952]

Inspector Zenigata from Lupin the Third would be a careercow. Always dead set on capturing who’s essentially both the Clyde Cash AND Liquid Chris to his Chris Chan, and spergs out every time he gets away. He’s got no family and becomes a NEET whenever he’s gotten fired, like in Mystery of Mamo. He would find his thread, make an account, and post in it, sperging out at the OP thinking he’s Lupin. Or who knows the OP might actually be Lupin in disguise just to fuck with him…

 

[Grimoire Canthari]

[Celebrity] Gangstalicious/Frederick - Extremely NotGay Rapper from Woodcrest MD, Got Shot By His Ex-Boyfriend, Sells NotGay Clothes for Little Hoodrats

I can see people posting pictures of Riley with his face blurred. Huey would take to the farms and end up arguing with Ruckus in A&N.

 

[Cobson Gemson]

Scott the Woz. (I'm not talking about Scott's actor. Scott's character does some crazy shit that would definitely belong on Kiwifarms.)

 

[Broseph]

Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons would have his own thread on here in a heartbeat. He's basically Reddit in cartoon form: he thinks he's an intellectual because he has a MENSA membership, he runs a comic book shop where he argues with little kids all day, he's autistic enough to learn fluent Klingon, he's morbidly obese and he's a 45 year old virgin who still lives with his parents.

 

[el bandito loco]

Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons would have his own thread on here in a heartbeat. He's basically Reddit in cartoon form: he thinks he's an intellectual because he has a MENSA membership, he runs a comic book shop where he argues with little kids all day, he's autistic enough to learn fluent Klingon, he's morbidly obese and he's a 45 year old virgin who still lives with his parents.

I think he's married to an Asian manga chick now but Simpsons after 2000 shouldn't exist

 

[Broseph]

I think he's married to an Asian manga chick now but Simpsons after 2000 shouldn't exist

I had no idea, I stopped watching the show ages ago.

Also, that girl with the blue hair (forgot her name) from the game Life is Strange would have her own thread since she's basically discount Ramona Flowers.

 

[użytkownik]

I have proporsal for 2 headers:

[Lolcow] Jerry Smith (from Rick and Morty) — A person, a father, a husband, a failure

Probably this thread can be expanded to the whole Smith/Sanchez family.

---

[Lolcow] Jorji Costava (from Papers Please) — Drug dealer from Orbistan. Orbiter of Border Crossing between Arstotzka and Kolechia. Inspector's "best friend"

Despite not knowing much about him. I guess he was a guy, that didn't care about consequences in the authoritarian nations. Also methods of passing like that hand-drawn passport. was outstanding between typical immigrant and most memorable of the whole cast. But this would be a niche thread to be honest, unlike the rest of mentioned characters in this thread.

 

[John Freeman]

General Jack Ripper would be a Schizocow
edit: also Homelander now that I think of it, also Lorne from sam and max

 

[Still Exceptional]

Cosmo Kramer. You know that doofy fucker would go insane on the internet with easy access to the most bizarre shit.

George Costanza would also be absolute lolcow material, would always be getting into autistic slap fights and gayops on social media.

 

[The Lawgiver]

Cosmo Kramer. You know that doofy fucker would go insane on the internet with easy access to the most bizarre shit.

George Costanza would also be absolute lolcow material, would always be getting into autistic slap fights and gayops on social media.

I mean the Seinfeld guys DID have access to the internet, it was just the slightly slower one from the late 80s through the 90s.

 

[Karl Hungus]

(Lolcow) Uli Kunkel / Uli Hauff / Karl Hungus- Aging failed pop musician who now makes gross porn videos, edgy nihilist, participates in IRL retarded gayops with his equally retarded friends

 

[I_Am_Honor_Roll]

Someone suggested Patrick Bateman but I could see Louis Caruthers having a thread on here.

EDIT: And by that, I mean the Louis from the book, moreso than the film (where he was just a sad sack closet queen, as opposed to the novel where he's also a foaming-at-the-mouth racist who loses his shit when he sees one of his friends had the audacity to buy a Japanese Akita).

 

[Kela de Thaym]

Nef Anyo from Warframe, easily. Solaris United are basically his a-logs (with Eudico/Vox Solaris as the Liquid Chris-alike) and he has cowish tendencies depending on how he's written in any update he shows up in.

 

[Jack Noir]

[Horrorcow] Lester Crest / "Long John Teabag" / "Lester the Molester" - Disabled neckbeard with criminal ties and hacking knowledge, affiliated with deceased bank robber Michael Townley.

 

[Jason Wynn]

Harold Lauder from Stephen King’s The Stand

Fat, pimply, pretentious incel who goes full Elliot Rodger and blows up a town hall meeting because he was given a vague promise of pussy if he did so. Had a chance to reform himself and be a better person after the plague, and actually was starting to be liked and well respected by the community for a short period but threw it away because the girl he was simping for friendzoned him.

 

[Tablet County]

[Celebrity] Gangstalicious/Frederick - Extremely NotGay Rapper from Woodcrest MD, Got Shot By His Ex-Boyfriend, Sells NotGay Clothes for Little Hoodrats

I can see people posting pictures of Riley with his face blurred. Huey would take to the farms and end up arguing with Ruckus in A&N.

I could see Ruckus having a thread too, but he'd end up being almost admired for his antics, like Terry, Cobra, or Fedsmoker.

 

[SmallKiwi]

Lola Bunny from LTS.

 

[Space Police]

Guin Lineford from Turn A Gundam has all the stereotypical tranny traits. He's obsessed with tech, has a GAMP fetish, is super invested in Moonrace negotiations for self-serving reasons, and wants to encourage dangerous technological development for mainly his own benefit. If he were alive today, he'd be a low-effort tranny who's a programmer, lives on Discord/Reddit, loves transhumanism, is faux progressive, and has a crippling femboy porn addiction.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

Dunno if he's been mentioned, but Ichiban Kasuga of the latest Yakuza games deserves it.

Massive Dragon Quest Sperg, to the point that the whole combat system is turn based just to humor his delusions.

Incredibly naive about how the world really works, thinking the homeless problem can be solved with a quick trip to a temp agency for starters. Also extremely dumb around girls, in the new game he has one date with former party member Saeko and proposes at the end. Which his buddies call him an idiot for, but still.

In his favor, he is extremely forgiving and attempts to see the good in everyone instead of holding grudges like most cows. Hed probably languish in Proving Grounds before everyone decides he's a harmless but funny RPG sperg and moves on.

 

[Papa stink]

Kylo Ren from the sequel trilogy is a total loser.

• Dresses up like a discount Darth Vader and seems to idolize him (despite the fact that Vader turned on the sith and the Empire)
• Almost gets killed by his uncle which for some reason causes him to kill the other Jedi students and burn the temple to the ground in a fit of rage
• His lightsaber has stupid mini blades that make it look like an upside-down cross
• Flies into fits of rage that makes him break everything around him
• Gets beaten by a girl who never had any Jedi training
• stabs and kills his father
• The first time he kisses a girl he dies