Fictional Characters who would deserve their own threads? - Just like the other thread.

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Washing Machine said:
Raskolnikov from Crime and Punishment

>NEET
>Nihilist
>Pseudointelectual
>Views himself as a unironic exeptional individual and writes autistic manifestos about how he's above the plebs
>Is a giant dick to his only friend and best boy Razumikhin
>Falls in love with a prostitute (Sonya's cool though)
>Is a literal murderer
>Would probably start as a sadcow until people realize that he's a giant selfobsorbed asshole

If Raskolnikov lived in the modern times, he would be one of those incels that can't get pussy despite being attractive because his personality is just that bad.
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Including anything from Dostoevski's books is cheating, his books are basically 600 page lolcow OPs.

if Prince Mishkin from Idiot was exposed to the internet he would likely end up a CWC tier lolcow minus the mother fucking, however he would still be overshadowed by his orbitters. Half of his thread would be people feeling bad for him while the other half would be unhinged A-logs.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Informative
Reactions: Meat Target and GenericReviewerDraco
[Horrorcow] Lionel Starkweather - Obese, sociopathic gore fetishist with a failed Vinewood movie career. Snuff film director and founder of Valiant Video Enterprises.
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  • Agree
Reactions: Bunny Tracks and Senior Frogmin
[ZOOSADIST] - Kyle Graham / Hunter Kyle - Arrogant Aryan faggot who (probably) fucks his own cat, almost got a rider's monstie euthanized and unknowingly worked with a cult. He's just the Monster Hunter equivalent of PirateSoftware. He also mains Bow, which makes him a GIGAFAGGOT

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[Horrorcow] Cell / Imperfect Cell / Semi-Perfect Cell / Perfect Cell - Vore enthusiast, Narcissist,, got pwned by a child.

  • Will be having a thread for how disgusting he is.
  • Automatically a Horrorcow for his "absorbing"
  • Gohan probably will be on this thread.
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Don't forget to link his autistic Deviantart account where he's posted like ten thousand pics, all are the exact same thing.
 
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[CAREERCOW] - Sue Sezno
The acting principal of Knob Haven High School, Sue Sezno pretty much only cares about making the school look good while lining her own pockets. She once sold candy to all the students and used the money to buy solid gold shoes. As a result she pretty much ran the school into the ground and even tried to throw the equally incompetent teachers under the bus for that. The school is located in Florida so that's saying something. She also has a rivalry with the school's librarian because they were in a band together when they were in high school but had a falling out. (And yes, that is Kenan Thompson voicing her)

[LOLCOW] - Stuart Proszakian
The assistant principal (or "ass principal" as he'd put it) of Knob Haven High, Stuart is many things including clinically insane. He once took drugs that were confiscated from a student's locker, it turned out to be estrogen and it made him grow boobs. He also has a split personality that he claims to be his sister. His special skills include teaching math and annoying people until they have heart attacks. Another escapade of his was when he was tasked with building a math lab for the school he misheard and instead built a meth lab.

[SADCOW] - Helen Klench
The school librarian, Helen is a boyfriend free girl who has turned to dating wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tubemen to cure her loneliness. She also has enough cats to make Chris Chan want to call animal control. She is actually in a codependent relationship with the school's drama teacher in which they team up and make random access humor style bizarre crossover musicals.

[SADCOW] - Willard Deutschbog
The one person even sadder than Helen, Willard is probably the oldest person in the school and quite possibly the world. He has a host of health problems that seem to be slowly killing him. He is also homeless and gets from place to place by making fake emergency calls to the fire department and ambulances. There was a time when his life wasn't shit, in the 80s he was considered cool and popular with his students of his German class. He also had sex with his teacher when he was in school in the 30s.
 
What about Tywin Lannister? (really the entire fucking family tbh)

He thinks he is the smartest motherfucker in the room but he pulls alot of dumbfuck shit

Allies himself to other Lolcows like The Boltons
Doesn't realize his Twins are fucking each other
Reee'd over the fact his oldest wanted to be in the king's honor guard
Married off his Skank kid to a Drunken Retard
Mis-treats the only child of his that has a brain
Starts a War over the kid he hates getting arrested
Lets his Retard Inbread Grandkid turn that war into a blood feud
 
  • Winner
Reactions: From The Uncanny Valley
Maximillion Pegasus:


• Smug and pretentious.
• Gay ass name.
• Looks like a faggot.
• Talks like a faggot.
• Has the power to read minds and uses it to cheat at a children's card game.
• Grown man obsessed with cartoons.
• Kidnapped minors and brought them to his private island.
• Lost to a high schooler in a game he was cheating at.
• Only 24 years old, but looks almost 40.
• Spent Millions on convoluted schemes to get a crumb of pussy (It doesn't work).
• Openly mocked by the players of the game he created.
 
  • Winner
  • Semper Fidelis
Reactions: Bunny Tracks, From The Uncanny Valley and Meat Target
Gravekeeper's Vassal said:
Maximillion Pegasus:


• Smug and pretentious.
• Gay ass name.
• Looks like a faggot.
• Talks like a faggot.
• Has the power to read minds and uses it to cheat at a children's card game.
• Grown man obsessed with cartoons.
• Kidnapped minors and brought them to his private island.
• Lost to a high schooler in a game he was cheating at.
• Only 24 years old, but looks almost 40.
• Spent Millions on convoluted schemes to get a crumb of pussy (It doesn't work).
• Openly mocked by the players of the game he created.
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Got a copy of a highly dangerous magical card stolen
 
  • Like
Reactions: Bunny Tracks and From The Uncanny Valley
Al Bundy and Basil Fawlty. Both are rude, cynical, middle-aged misanthropes who hate their lot in life. Al is a has-been who peaked in high school, Basil a never-was.
Senior Frogmin said:
[Horrorcow] "Mister Jane Doe"/The Soldier - Lead Poisoned God fearing man larping as a WW2 Vet, Works for bosses that are most likely even more unstable than him.
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He is /k/ incarnate.
  • Was running around Europe killing random people several years after the war ended
  • Built a bazooka out of miscellaneous crap
  • Is canonically confirmed to be illiterate
 
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