🐟 Fishtank Fishtank.Live General - Jet Neptune's Pisces Aquarium Internet Reality Show w/ Host Bam Margera

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Official KF Fishtank livechat here!

With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%

  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%

  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 169 22.1%

  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 53.0%

  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.2%
  • Total voters
    764
Here's a little story about something that happened a little over an hour ago.

Jon dragged a wooden pallet over to the fire pit and said he's going to throw it in there because "We don wan duh fiyah to go out." Nobody was really enthused with this idea seeing as the fire was already raging, and most tried to dissuade him, including the blacksmith and the blacksmith's wife. Tai said "You'll make them pause the game with that whole thing lit on fire" and "Use your common sense" in a terse tone. "My common sense says 'I don wan it to go out.' They said we get benuhfits if it dozen go out. They diddin say we couldun have a big fiyah, did they?" Jon protested. "We have wood in a tent, you can bring the wood from there," Tai retorted. Jon replied with "No, you get the wood from the tent. We have wood wight hiyah" and patted the pallet. Brian made fun of his alleged experience as a woodland firefighter, citing the fact that "A lot of arsonists are usually firefighters, that's a weird statistic."

Fatty finally said "Jon, the king commands, throw it on there" so Jon went "Thank you lawd Fattius!" and immediately hurled it. Brian even mentioned that it's "chemically treated," but no one paid attention seeing as the gay guy alert was blaring and they really just wanted Jon to stop shouting.

palletFire.png

Twenty minutes go by. Jet sounds over the loudspeaker: "Many pallets are treated with a toxic chemical called methyl bromide which releases into the air when burned. This is known to kill." Another minute goes by. He says it again, slower for good measure: "Many pallets are treated with a chemical called methyl bromide which releases into the air when burned. It's very toxic, you will all die if you don't take the fucking pallet off of the fire." So they do. Jontent.
 
King announced a multicultural exchange with the vampires. Peaceful immigrants inbound.
multicultural.png

FATTIUS DOWN
fattius.pngcrown.png
 
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Some hero in the FTL threads on 4 Chan had been posting story updates, I'm lifting it to post here because I think a lot of us are somewhat lost lol
OFFICIAL LORE SUMMARY:

The DUKE & his brother XAVIER RAVENBLOOD have been locked in battle for hundreds of years. As a result of this feud, XAVIER has been exiled from the vampiric clan. This summer, the STARS are in alignment for the BLOODMOON RITUAL. This is Xavier’s opportunity to strike. By gaining the support of the VAMPIRE HUNTERS, XAVIER can use the FIVE ITEMS to enact the BLOODMOON RITUAL to cause all of the vampires of his old clan to be not just harmed by sunlight but also by the moon. However, the VAMPIRE HUNTERS do not trust XAVIER and consider him a potential threat.
THE DUKE, even after the BLOODMOON ritual, may only be slain by GREG HELLSING’S family heirloom - the CROSSBOW.
The BLOODMOON RITUAL will occur in EIGHT DAYS.

>Current BLOODMOON status:
In order to gain access to a new school of Magic, THE WITCH must win a game of CARDS on a TABLE that she herself constructs. This quest initially appeared impossible because the WITCH is LAZY.
>The great KING FATTIUS has been bitten by a vampire and, according to MAMA JUJU’s prophesy, will succumb to the evil influence of the vampire’s curse.

Secret Quest:
Tayleigh has accepted the role of XAYLEIGH RAVENBLOOD, and agreed to serve as bait for her dark masters plots.
By donning her patron’s outfit, XAYLEIGH can cast PUP FORM. PUP FORM grants additional HP.


>INSIDER LORE:
The crew has ordered an ABOVE GROUND POOL. The pool will be used for something called the ‘BLOODBATH’ and, sources tell me, will be full of water dyed red.
Click to expand...
 
Lt. H. DuBois said:
This Jimmy is a marked improvement from what I saw last season. He kind of came off a a genuinely deranged nutcase who probably shouldn't be trusted alone with women.
I've heard people say that now he's on proper medication, if so he is a poster child for the chemical solution sometimes being required to turn a complete social reject into just an eccentric oddball
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Here’s clearly gained a lot of weight which is probably because of his new medication.
 
Xavier's 6v1 was so fucking good. He kept shouting special moves like TIGER DROP and GUN KATA before spinning around with his pistol, then all the vampires would just start thrashing around like they'd been shot. I can't wait to re-watch that on the clip. At one point he "stabbed" a vampire into the wall with his sword, emptied his magazine into him, stopped, took a call from his mom? Then resumed shooting him for another 2 magazines. Of course he didn't need to reload. Just shouting BANG BANG BANG BANG is good enough.
 
Meowstery said:
Xavier's 6v1 was so fucking good. He kept shouting special moves like TIGER DROP and GUN KATA before spinning around with his pistol, then all the vampires would just start thrashing around like they'd been shot. I can't wait to re-watch that on the clip. At one point he "stabbed" a vampire into the wall with his sword, emptied his magazine into him, stopped, took a call from his mom? Then resumed shooting him for another 2 magazines. Of course he didn't need to reload. Just shouting BANG BANG BANG BANG is good enough.
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His final attack was a finishing slash that killed all 6 vampires and they flew back and died in slow motion. I would put my money on someone adding GFX over it at some point.

Edit: User @Dashusethetrashcan may be making a supercut or three of Xavier's epic cutscene skirmish.
 
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North Oakland Avenue said:
His final attack was a finishing slash that killed all 6 vampires and they flew back and died in slow motion. I would put my money on someone adding GFX over it at some point.
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He said he could have used that attack first and ended the fight then and there, but he wanted to test his skills lest his blade get rusty. After he told the Fish he killed every Vampire in the universe, but the Duke appeared and sent him to another vampire filled universe. This implies the Fish we are watching now are actually apart of a different universe, not the original one. This makes Xavier the only remaining character from the original 2.5 universe. Afterwords he told the Fish he needed to go drink the blood of virgins to recover.
 
Meowstery said:
Xavier's 6v1 was so fucking good. He kept shouting special moves like TIGER DROP and GUN KATA before spinning around with his pistol
Click to expand...
Meowstery said:
He kept shouting special moves like TIGER DROP and GUN KATA before spinning around with his pistol
Click to expand...
Meowstery said:
TIGER DROP and GUN KATA
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Hey /tv/, if you're reading this and you are still stupid enough to believe in dumb things like Tobuscus being Xavier, this is your 100% deadlock confirmation that it's Jan.
 
Meowstery said:
Brian breaks character for the first time to tell him 'you know what you gotta do' implying he should break the camera. It was so awkward.
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I'm pretty sure Brian meant that Jimmy needed to take a picture of his dick. That how Jimmy interpreted it as well cause he said "I'm not gonna take a picture of my dick!"
 
Lowercase I internet said:
He said he could have used that attack first and ended the fight then and there, but he wanted to test his skills lest his blade get rusty. After he told the Fish he killed every Vampire in the universe, but the Duke appeared and sent him to another vampire filled universe. This implies the Fish we are watching now are actually apart of a different universe, not the original one. This makes Xavier the only remaining character from the original 2.5 universe. Afterwords he told the Fish he needed to go drink the blood of virgins to recover.
Click to expand...
Lawd, this is turning into Francis of the Filth 2.0. I wonder how many chromosomes it will take to destroy the dark lord Shinji.
 
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