Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

[Yankee Shogun]

In the future, if you ever think your life is hard, just pause and remember; there's a kid out there being raised by Chris Chan and a Finnish autistic woman who actually let it touch her, and things could be alot, alot worse for you.

 

[Rungle]

>Flutter is waiting for baby to come out
>Finally they see it
>Doctor proudly announces ''Its a boy!"
>Chris is quiet for a moment and starts huffing and puffing
>Slams the child with full force to the ground because he cannot name it Crystal Weston Chandler now,

 

[thhrang]

I want the child to be totally normal and not tortured by Chris, his mother (we don't know if she's bad or not) or internet weens.

I want this too but honestly that's mighty optimistic.

 

[I was a Teenage “JA”-man]

Or C: Actually madly in love with Chris.
This is scary, both because of how complete and utter bat shit it is, but also because it's the most likely to be true.

Well shit man… sorry I doubted you. It’s the burger suit for me

 

[ChampFantana]

Chris Chandler is going to be a father before MovieBob gets so much as a pity kiss from a distant cousin. What a time to be alive!

 

[LikeAStone 2.0]

She will give birth and soon after Sonichu will crawl out of Chris’ taint, signaling Archangel Miachel to gather his army for the end is nigh.

 

[Nick Gars]

Any lifeform that comes out of the union of decrepit tranny cum and potato tardgirl eggs and doesn't die upon exposure to oxygen is gonna grow up to be Albert Wesker. Be afraidView attachment 6681103

Now I'm envisioning the final battle of RE5. Just replace Chris Redfield and Sheeva with Chris-Chan and Sonichu.

This time, the virus bomb contains aspergers.

 

[Sneedmiser]

If KF is still up in 25-ish years, the marriage of Reginald Sonichu-Weston Chandler and Cozy Rozanna Kagome Inuyasha Ethanol Ralph will be featured. Calling it now.

 

[Beautiful Border]

i won't lie, i can't see this kid being too fucked up
i mean, yeah they'd be a child to two (allegedly) autistic people, one of whom is the swamp lady goddess of old game consoles and electric rodent dimensions... but i actually think somehow being in that realm of weird is better than kids who are born to more "normative lolcows" like people who are just assholes or self absorbed idiots

chris and flutter, if she's really involved, but mostly chris, are such odd people that it'd be impossible for that kid to just grow up to be some average twat
what would their parenting style be like? they'd buy the kid toys and leave them to raise themselves, go out to hang out in whatever malls aren't demolished yet and scribble imaginary worlds on the walls of their bedroom
that sorta environment has the potential to create fascinating people, we might get another chris chan and frankly that's the worst case scenerio, we might get some kinda weird esoteric savant who's brain is ascended beyond our comprehension... or we, most likely, will just get a sorta odd shy loser who's into vidya and doesn't do much exciting...

Chris is not going to be a father. He's plainly not capable of looking after a child, he can just about manage to look after himself. Can you really imagine him being able to change a baby's diaper? Or even know what to do when they're crying? What about when they're toddlers, and you basically have to make every waking moment ensuring they don't accidentally kill themselves? He couldn't cope with it. If Chris were handed a baby the best case scenario is that he quickly realizes he's out of his depth and gives it up within weeks. I shudder to think of what the alternative is.

 

[Yankee Shogun]

The West has fallen

 

[Ace888Ace]

Doubters need to check their scripture:
3 When Dear Feeder Joshua heard this he was disturbed, and all Kiwi Farms with him.
4 When he had called together all the forum's chief shitposters and archivers of the lore, he asked them where the Messiah was to be born.
5 “In Finland in Europe,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written:
6 "'But you, Finland, in the land of Europe,
are by no means least among the rulers of Europe;
for out of you will come a ruler
who will shepherd my people CWCville.'"

 

[WelperHelper99]

If this is true

all manosphere shit about women’s preferences, all the shit about alphas and betas and gammas and simping and incels and volcels is conclusively shown to not matter

Anyone can get a white woman pregnant, there is no floor of attractiveness below which you can’t get laid, and no kind of man who some woman somewhere can’t find attractive

Incels are in shambles at this news. White women are the same as the rest of them. The Chad and Stacy stuff is bullshit. Chris's tard sperm literally has made a Finnish woman, white as fuck, bear his offspring.

 

[Judge Holden]

POV: you are being born, and while still being pushed out your mother's womb you see your father, Christian Weston Chandler, showing your mother how he "Soul Bonded" with Barb

 

[JunkMan.exe]

That sperm eating really helped preserve his last non HRT damaged navy.

 

[Average Pepsi Enjoyer]

Heaven scenario: This is just another one of Chris' delusions and he's talking about a new Pokemon that he'll shoot out of his ass in another dimension.
Hell scenario: It's real, and Flutter is pregnant with Chris' child and he impregnated her around October, which checks out if the baby will be born during the summer.
Heggo scenario: Chris was taken to Finland to get a surrogate mother so his Sonichu cult can fulfill his lifelong dream of having Crystal.

But people are also missing out on something important: if this is real, and Flutter really is pregnant, then the baby would have to be registered somewhere under not just Chris' name, but a mother's name as well. Same thing if it has to go to school. If Flutter is truly the mother, then all that masking in public would be pointless and all for nothing, because then her name would be plastered on this baby's documents everywhere.

If they try to hide the baby from public record (which I doubt is possible since it would be born from a registered sex offender and surely the authorities would be keeping track) then one can only assume it's getting groomed, and CPS can probably be called.

 

[Minion Facebook Memes]

Just thinking about the way chris would yell at the dogs, who's to say the same wouldn't happen to a helpless crying baby? Especially if the baby was a boy. How much do you wanna bet chris would raise a boy as 'crystal' anyway?

 

[Judge Holden]

If it turns out to be twins I might actually have to follow through on my various declarations of killing myself because jesus fucking christ I dont want to live in that world

 

[atorie]

In 30 years we're going to be sitting in retirement homes, reading the latest KF thread on how reginald weston chandler has raped his elderly mom flutter..

 

[Cuntspiracy Man]

Here's the thing: Chris is an internet CELEBRITY. Yeah he's a "lolcow" but he's so mainstream he's just a wholesome funny trans queen now. Chris Chan finding a woman willing to hear his child is crazy when you look at his past, but his present? Not really any more surprising than any other celebrity of below-average appearance finding a partner.

absolutely no one considers chris chan a wholesome little transgender woman, even normalfags who know about him now dislike him, probably even moreso than the oldie fans since their eyes are clouded by the extreme moralfaggotry normies like to employ when they just wanna laugh at a retard online but know it's not socially acceptable anymore
"but people defended his pronouns" yeah, on principle- not him tho, not the actual individual- it was just the usual thing to get hung up on online for bored people looking for the drama of the week
women don't want him now because he's a sexy feminine turquoise haired older dickgirl mommy, even if he was that... they want him BECAUSE of his past, some people just have a thing for famous weirdos, no girl wanted him before because he wasn't famous, he was JUST the local weirdo, now that he's big online:
1. some of them find something appealing about dating a well known person, even if infamous, they get off on the exoticism of being with someone like that
2. there's always, ALWAYS someone out there who's attracted to anything, even the thing you'd least suspect to have an appeal, SOMEONE wants to bone it. i mean ffs you're on kiwifarms, we have threads for the oddest of sexual fantasies. when chris was just some rando walking around the malls, he was only known to the handful of girls who saw him there and didn't know much about him, but with his now popularity all over the web, it's not impossible that he has been exposed to some people who honest to god are attracted to what he has to offer. remember jacob? if it's possible for one person like that to pop up, who says two isn't probable?

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

I wonder where they'll raise it? Isn't the speculation that Flutter's from Finland?

I think it's very possible that authorities will take this baby the minute it's born.